New Beginnings (65 page)

He continued as though he hadn’t heard her soft plea. “The dogs…” His lips tipped up at the corners. “A Retriever and a—”

“Miniature poodle.” She surrendered to a smile when he rolled his eyes. He’d always disliked the breed, claiming they were yappy. He finally agreed to let her have one as long as she promised not to give it one of
those
haircuts.

“Did you ever get Tyler a dog?” he asked.

“No.” A breeze lifted the hair off his forehead, and she saw the small scar he’d gotten in a car accident the year he turned nineteen. He was so familiar. She had to remind herself he wasn’t her best friend anymore. He’d stopped being that guy the night she learned he’d just been pretending to want the life she did.

“Why not?”

“We talked about it, but it never seemed like the right time.” She regretted the reference to her husband as soon as he looked tortured. She wasn’t trying to rub his face in the fact that she’d had a happy marriage with someone else, but she wouldn’t dishonor Nathan’s memory by pretending he hadn’t existed either.

“Why not now?” He was obviously trying to pretend he wasn’t reeling from the name she’d never actually said. “He’s getting older. I think he could handle the responsibility.”

She wanted to say he had no idea what Tyler could or couldn’t handle. Zach didn’t even know him. Stating the obvious seemed cruel though, especially when she was partially to blame that they’d never had the chance to bond. “I guess I’m not ready.”

“Every kid should have a dog, especially an only child.”

Rennie didn’t respond. The last thing she wanted was to argue about whether it was the right time to add a pet to the mix. “We’ll see.”

“Did you ever think about”—he set his hand on the car behind her, holding her captive—“having another baby? With him?”

Was he serious? If she didn’t want to talk about a dog, she certainly didn’t want to talk about whether she and her late husband ever considered having a baby. “I have to go.” She hoped he would step back. Of course, he didn’t. “I’m not going to answer that question, so you can forget it.”

“Too personal?” His eyes burned into hers, almost as though he sought to punish her thinking about expanding her family with someone else. “There was a time when nothing was off limits with us. Remember that?”

“I thought that too. Obviously I was wrong.” She tried to cross her arms, but he wouldn’t give her enough room to move. “If we’d been able to talk about anything, you would have told me the truth about how you felt instead of letting me find out the way I did.”

“Damn it, are you ever gonna forgive me for being a dumbass kid who didn’t know a good thing when he had it?”

Shocked by his fierceness, her anxiety had her breathing heavier. Zach would never hurt her—physically, at least—but she sensed he was determined to unearth the past until he’d buried her in it. “This isn’t about forgiveness. It’s about letting go. We have to let go for our son’s sake.”

He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her close. His lips hovered over hers just long enough for her to push him away. Since her brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders, she fisted his shirt in her hands and pulled him closer instead. Closing her eyes and hitting the mental rewind button, pretending it was like any of the other kisses they’d shared, was so easy. Hot, mind-numbing, and a prelude to a foray that would end in his bedroom with the two of them tangled up in damp, wrinkled sheets. But she couldn’t erase the past ten years. Her life was different, and one lousy kiss didn’t change anything. Okay, it was one incredible kiss… a kiss that made her want to wrap her legs around his waist and hold on as though her life depended on it. She wanted to explore his demanding mouth and the hard planes of his chest the way she had in her dreams ever since he walked back in to her life.

“God…” he whispered. He was breathing heavily, his hand fisted in her hair and his eyes glazed. “You can’t deny we’re as hot for each other as we ever were.”

She couldn’t deny it, but she didn’t have to give in to it. “I have to go. I have work tomorrow.”

He stepped back reluctantly, tucking his shirt back into his pants with one hand. Rennie blushed. She’d done that; she’d pulled his shirt free when they kissed. That’s how desperate she’d been to feel his abs, to satisfy herself they were still impossibly defined. They were. Damn him. He was too perfect, too… everything.

“Can I still come to Tyler’s game tomorrow?” he asked, running a hand through his hair.

One lapse in judgement didn’t mean she had the right to renege on their agreement, no matter how much she might want to. “Sure.”

“Great.” He smiled before wiping his mouth.

His lips were slick from her lip gloss, and she couldn’t supress the wish he’d gone inside like that, so all of the women who’d been throwing themselves at him would know he was taken. No! He wasn’t taken. She couldn’t let herself go there. “I’ll text you the details tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. I’ll make reservations at my buddy’s steakhouse. They have lots of healthy options on the menu.” He frowned. “Will Tyler be okay with a later dinner if he has a snack before the game?”

Her heart melted a little. He was concerned about her son. No, he was concerned about
his
son. She had to remind herself he was Tyler’s father and she had to learn to step aside so they could form their own relationship. “That’s fine.” She forced a smile before reaching for the door handle. “Thanks for everything you did tonight. It meant so much to the Griffins. They’re good people. They deserved a break.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

She believed him. Zach has never been self-centered. He was always the first one to help a friend in need. That was one of the reasons she’d fallen in love with him. If she wasn’t careful, she’d be at risk of it happening again. When she got inside the car, he gestured for her to roll down the window. She turned on the car and lowered the window. “What is it?”

“You know I’ll be dreaming about you tonight, don’t you?”

“Zach—”

“Do you know how many times you’ve snuck into my dreams over the years?” He leaned over, wincing when he braced both hands on his knees. He hadn’t complained about his shoulder all night, but she was pretty sure the pain medication must be wearing off. Still, she didn’t insist he go inside and take another pill. She waited, holding her breath, wishing he would pick up where he’d left off, yet hoping he would leave before he said something that would keep them both awake. “Too many, Ren. Too damn many.”

She wanted to reach out to him because that’s the way it had always been between them. She couldn’t be in his presence without wanting to touch him. Finally having her hands on him again had awakened feelings she’d suppressed for the better part of a decade.

“You were every blonde in a crowd, every sweet laugh ringing out over all the others, every pair of baby blue eyes that sucker punched me in the gut.”

Tears gathered in her eyes because, although she’d never admit it, she knew exactly how he felt. He’d lived in her memory too. As much as she’d loved her husband, a part of her had always belonged to Zach. “I should go.” She couldn’t let him continue. If she did, there was no telling where they might end up that night.

“Right.” He straightened, looking her in the eye.

She knew he saw her tears, but if she blinked, they would fall. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“I can’t wait.”

God help her, neither could she.

“I still can’t believe Zach is coming to my game,” Tyler said, punching his fist into his baseball glove. “That’s so cool. All the other guys are gonna be so jealous.”

Rennie gave her son the evil eye in the rearview mirror. “He’s not coming to make your teammates jealous. He’s coming to see you play because you practically begged him to, remember?”

“You don’t think he’s comin’ just ‘cause he feels like he’s gotta, do you?”

Tempted to correct him, Rennie decided to let it slide. She had enough to worry about—like how she was going to keep her mind on the game and off Zach’s rock hard thigh pressed against hers. “No, he’s coming because he wants to.” That much she was sure of. He’d responded to her text almost immediately, telling her he couldn’t wait to see
both
of them.

“And he’s really gonna take us out for dinner after the game?” Tyler was practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her son show so much enthusiasm about anything. Seeing that sparkle back in his eye was nice, even if she knew the worst was still to come. How would he react when they told him that Zach was his father and that Rennie had kept both of them in the dark? Would her baby hate her? Would he want to cut her out of his life, begging to move in with Zach or his grandparents? Of course, she would never let that happen, but just considering the possibility cut her to the core. “He sure is.” She smiled. “Apparently a friend of his owns a steakhouse nearby. He thought you might like that.”

Tyler wrinkled his nose. “I’d rather have pizza instead.”

She shook her head. “Didn’t you have pizza last night?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So tonight you’ll have steak or chicken or even salmon, with salad. You want Dr. Simmons to be pleased with your blood sugar and test results, don’t you?”

Tyler heaved a sigh, staring out the window with a grimace. “I guess.”

She knew diabetes wasn’t easy for her son, but it was the hand life had dealt him. Rather than offer pity or sympathy, she chose to remind him things could be much worse. At least they could control his diabetes with diet, exercise, and insulin. Not all sick children were so lucky.

Rennie turned into the parking lot, and her eyes zeroed in on
him
right away. Zach was in the midst of a crowd of excited boys obviously begging for his autograph and stories about baseball. She noted he was signing with his right hand, and she wondered how his injured shoulder was. He’d mentioned he saw the doctors earlier and had a physical therapy appointment. She hoped the news was good.

Tyler was out of the car and running toward the small group before Rennie had even put the car in park. The kids weren’t the only ones excited to see Zach. Lily was standing at Zach’s side. She was talking, and he appeared to be listening, but Rennie couldn’t tell from a distance whether he was enthralled. She shouldn’t be bothered by other women making a play for Zach. It’s not like she had a claim to him or even wanted one. Their kiss meant nothing. It was a moment of weakness. If she could convince herself of that, she must be getting better at lying. Zach was wearing dark shades, but she still felt his eyes on her when she approached. The thrill bumps rising all over her arms gave him away.

“Hey there,” he said, grinning. “Nice to see you.”

It was a casual greeting, one he might bestow upon a business associate or acquaintance, but the way he said it, low and intimate, let her know he meant it. “It’s good to see you too, Zach.”

Rennie tried hard to ignore Lily, but she was shooting daggers at Rennie through her fake eyelashes. Apparently her son had spread the word to his teammates that Zach would be there because Lily was decked out in her tightest jeans, tiniest tank top, and highest heels. Unless Rennie missed her guess, the other divorced moms would be sporting a similar uniform. Didn’t they know Zach was so much more than his pitching arm, good looks, big fat contract, and celebrity status? He was kind and sweet and… If she didn’t stop, she was going to talk herself into falling in love with him again. She couldn’t let that happen.

“Hey, guys,” Zach said, knocking the peak of Tyler’s hat down with his left hand. “You should catch up with your coach. The game’s gonna start soon.”

There was a chorus of groans, but the group eventually broke apart and walked toward the baseball diamond.

Walking backward, Tyler said, “Thanks a lot for coming, Zach.”

“My pleasure, kid.” He smiled. “Now get out there and show me what you got.”

Tyler gave him two thumbs up before he sprinted toward his teammates to join the huddle.

“He’s such a great kid, Ren,” Zach said, smiling at her.

They shared a moment as a mix of regret and pride charged the air between them. They had created that awesome kid, and even though Zach hadn’t been a part of Tyler’s life growing up, her son was becoming more and more like his dad every day. She saw it in his mannerisms, his laugh, and that intense look in his eye right before he released the ball. No doubt about it, Tyler was the best of both of them. Rennie couldn’t be any more proud of him.

“Well, I guess I should get out there,” Lily said, interrupting their moment. “Should I save you a seat, Zach?”

“Uh no, that’s okay. Thanks for the offer though.”

Rennie could barely contain her smile when Lily’s expression fell. “I need to have a quick word with Zach before the game, Lily. You don’t mind, do you?”

She looked between them as though she wanted to object but couldn’t find a good reason. “Sure, I guess I’ll see you later.” She hesitated as though she was waiting for Zach to say something more. When he didn’t, she walked slowly toward the stands.

“You wanted to talk to me about something?” Zach asked, sliding his glasses up on his head.

She would have preferred he keep them on. His eyes reminded her of melted chocolate. That made her think of the time he’d drizzled it all over her body and licked it off. She barely suppressed the urge to fan herself. “I hope you don’t think I’m out of line for saying this, but—”

“You can say anything to me. You know that.”

Uh oh, he was getting closer, invading her personal space. The last time he’d done that, she wound up plastered against her car with her hands fisted in his hair and her mouth exploring his. She certainly couldn’t let that happen there… in front of their son. “I just, uh, wanted to talk to you about…”

He slipped her sunglasses up on her head with a smile. “I want to see your beautiful eyes.”

“Why?” she asked, feeling a little breathless when his knuckles skimmed her cheek.

“’Cause I can always tell exactly what you’re thinking by looking in your eyes.”