No Apologies (8 page)

I just brought that “fuck up their life” shit to see what he would say. He looked liked he needs to get some shit off his chest. No matter how much I fuck and suck him, he still can’t get that chick out of his system.

  Damn! just sitting here watching old re-runs of Girlfriends, really got me to thinking about a lot of shit and this shit is getting more and more depressing my the second. I should call Goldie ass right now and see if he wants to hear what I have to say, or maybe I should hold on to this little bit of information, until I see what Derwin has planned for this plan of ours. Looks like these sorry bitches got just as many men problems on this television program, as we do in the real world. Shit! When a woman is falling for a man, she will jump through hoops to try and keep his ass. When that motherfucker ain’t trying to give a woman no act right, then well, she just gonna have to teach his ass a lesson. Niggas jump from women like they are changing their fucking clothes.

   Damn! This wine is good and it’s putting me in the mood to start some shit. I am ready to jump start this bullshit ass game of action, so I can get it over with. I need this and I need to start it now. A motherfucker can call it whatever they like, but just seeing the pure hurt on his face will be priceless to me. Fuck it! I am going to start my shit today. I can’t wait on Derwin ass. Searching my couch cushions for my damn phone; finally pulling it out yes indeed, his ass is about to hear from me today. And I am not sending no damn text either.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
After the third ring he finally picks up, his ass makes me sick at times.

  
“What up doe,” he answers. “Hey Goldie how are you?” I say. “Who dis?” He responds. “Chanta’.” “WHO?” I take the phone away from my ear, and let out a deep breath, this dude can’t be serious. “Chanta’! Don’t play Goldie like you don’t know who this is.” “Chanta’ I didn’t know this was you, your number was not saved in my phone, but since you calling what’s up?” “I was wondering if we could meet up and talk.” Damn! That was lame as hell, should have come better than that. “You know, I just don’t get down and meet to have talks and shit. So you gonna have to say what the hell is on your mind now.”

   See I knew this asshole was going to show up but as soon as I utter those words ‘Jasmine’ then he will perk the hell up. “Damn! I just figured that we did have a nice little connection. I thought calling wouldn’t be a problem.” “Stop thinking so damn much Chanta’, but when you can say whatever it is that made you call me then do so until then have a good one.” “Wait! Hold on Goldie, I do have one word to say….JASMINE!”

Alexis 13

I don’t know where the fuck he is right now and I don’t give two shits. I’m the woman up in his damn house. I am the one he lays his head on when he is sleepy and I am the one he calls every hour, on the hour. Hell! I knew in the beginning he had other women that he may or may not sleep with, but hell! I have a couple folks I sleep with on the side as well. I have grown to love Curtis ass, and maybe one-day when we both are done playing, we can settle down and make it right between us. I have not been at my house as much as I should be. Most of the time I am here by my damn self, or he comes in so damn late from either working, or being out with one of his lady friends.

   Frankly, I am tired of acting like I need to change in the other room and shit. I feel like in a way, I can’t be who I really am around him. His shit is getting on my nerves.  Like tonight, I am laying in this massive king bed by myself; letting the music of Jill Scott swoon through his condo. I am tired of masturbating. I am in need of a man who can hold me, and wants to keep me. But I signed on to this shit with Curtis, and there is no telling who he is with tonight. Got me laying in bed wearing nothing but a lace teddy; like I am waiting on him. Actually, this is the way I go to bed every night, but I would like to be here with him between my legs giving me the business.

   Fuck that! Man got a monster dick on him, and then have the nerve to flip a sistah around too, just to eat my pussy. Man he can damn sho put it down on my ass. Hell! I am bored. I need to contact my bestie Jerome ass. I haven’t heard from his ass in a few weeks. Wonder what the fuck he up to. Reaching in my black Dior purse I grabbed my phone to holla at his ass
Ring…
Ring…

   “Aww hell no Ms. Thang, where the hell have you been, and what the hell you doing at this very moment?” “Well if you must know Jerome, I’m laying in bed with a teddy on at eleven at night waiting on my man to come home. Actually bored out of my fucking mind. I went into work today; did five heads and left up out of there.” “Damn girl! You could have called me sooner. We could have went out and had some drinks or something.” See I knew Jerome would understand. Hell! He about the only one who actually does understand what I am talking about, and I am truly thankful for his friendship.

   “Why don’t you come over here Jerome and we can have drinks here. I just don’t really want to go out.” “Now Ms. Thang, you know I am on my way to get into some shit. That’s why I said you should have said something early.” “I truly understand Jerome, I am just feeling out of sorts.” Fuck! What is wrong with me? I go from happy to sad in a matter of just a few moments, and I just can’t figure this shit out. Laying in the middle of the bed, in a fetal position. It has got to get better than this shit. “I’ve told you many times why you feel the way you feel and until you be true with you, then you are always gonna feel unfulfilled. Don’t be scared to be who you are Ms. Thang, fuck that! You know I love you boo.”

   “You are right Jerome. I must be true to myself and fuck the bullshit.” Jerome always knows what’s wrong with me no matter what and as always, he is right. I truly take his advice to heart. I guess I need do what I need to do, to make my life better for me; not for anyone else. “Hell, I am always right you know that! I just don’t like to see you waiting for a man and not one hundred percent sure if he gonna stay when you start being the true you Alexis boo.” “Ugh! This shit is driving me insane. I can’t do shit but pray that this shit is going to work-out Jerome. I’ve just been trying to be the one everyone wants me to be, that’s all.”

   I heard Jerome take a deep sigh over the phone before he spoke. “Ms. Thang, ummm… who the hell is everyone? They only see what you project. You need to put your representative away and introduce yourself. Cause you driving me insane!” Hearing Jerome go in on me, in his Nawlins’ accent; it started showing the faster he talked. I was on the verge of hanging up; he has this way of making you feel bad and telling you the truth, all at the same damn time. Jerome has never been the one, as long as I have known him, to lie about anything. All the shit that he has been through; good, bad and the ugly.

   He always tell folks that are closes to him “no need to start of lying, cause’ that will be how you end shit” is what he will always say. I just wish I was just as brave as he is. “Ms.Thang, you need to get out and go find you some dick to land on. Trust! That shit will make you feel better. Oh! But wait, you falling in love and shit!” “Don’t shit on my love for Charles. Hell! If you try it, maybe you will like it!” “No you didn’t Ms. Thang! I know love. I love you and you only. That’s all the love I need right now.” “Now, you just trying to get on my good side Jerome.” “No, just speaking facts and if and when the time comes, when I want to live in love, I will let it find me. Until then, I am partying and having a ball, which is what you should be doing your damn self.”

   “Yeah I know, but this is where I want to be right now. I am just glad that I have you to talk to no matter what. I love you boo.” “Keep your I love you boo, u know, love you too. I’m in these streets, so I’ll get in contact with you later in the week. Take a kiss for you, bye boo.” “Bye boo.” After the phone clicked off, I was sure that my life was about to change. Just didn’t know when and where I was going to be, when it does.  Frankly, I am getting tired of this; he out and I’m in the house, in this bed alone.

   Even though I came into this knowing that we would do us; we both are free to do other people. That’s been a little over a year and damn! I don’t need to fuck no other dude other than him. It’s time we have a talk after he stroll his ass in here. I know he not gonna want to hear shit I have to say, but damn it! it’s time. If things are not gonna go any further than this, then I am going to have to leave after a while. All this fucking random people is for the birds.

You have met folks, got the back story on folks and now it’s time to shake some shit up! But I must warn you this is what the characters wanted they have a mind of their own I am just writing THEIR story!

Alexis 14

  Swerving through this bullshit ass traffic in the rain so I don’t be late for my damn hair appointment with Jerome, has put me in a bad a mood. The fact that Curtis ass is still hanging out more and more these days, he says it’s his job. He putting down some great beats for up and coming rap stars, that’s doing a lot of underground work right now. He throws little hints out there; letting me know when he about to be knee deep in some pussy.  Like saying “I don’t know what time I will be home, late nights early morning” shit like that. To let me know he on some other pussy that particular night.

   Finally getting to Jerome’s shop, I can only hope he’s ready now and not in here on some flamboyant shit today. I need him ready; ready to work. To my surprise, I see the same damn red car as before. I can’t remember her name, but I know she was getting on my damn nerves. Stepping out the car with my umbrella over my head; trying to run in and not get drenched as much as I already was. As soon as the chimes over the door clanged together, four pair of eyes was looking back at me.

   “Heyyyy Ms. Thang, I see you finally made it out here in all this damn rain and shit. I just knew your ass was gonna cancel on me.” Shaking out my umbrella at the door, before walking towards him and giving him an air kiss, I acknowledge the person sitting in the chair getting a sharp ass edgy cut. Which means this is the one who drives the red car. “Heyyy girl! I see you are getting that damn hair laid. Shit! That style is sharp as hell. I might have to get mines cut like that. I’m feeling that.”

   “Thanks boo, you know Jerome. He may get on your damn nerves, but he knows how to do some hair. I don’t trust anyone to do it, that’s why I keep bringing my too cute ass down here in the hood.” Jerome smacked his damn lips. It almost echoed throughout the salon. Whenever he does that, it’s his way of saying excuse the fuck out of me, or you got your damn nerve. “Just have a seat in the other chair Ms. Thang. I will be with you shortly, and I don’t appreciate y’all laughing it up at my expense. “

   “Jerome you know we love you, but as long as you got them damn scissors in my hair, I won’t be saying much of anything else. I don’t shut up for no one, but when it comes to my hair, I won’t be saying another word at least until you finish.” All three of us started laughing and talking about all sorts of shit in general. I found out that Indigo is cool as hell. She can rub you the wrong way most of the time. She kind of lives her life, the way most of us do; make the best out of a bad situation. She saw that her assets could let her live a comfortable life, and she capitalized on it.

   When the topic of sex and threesomes came up, the room was live. We learned that Jerome been fucking boy/men since he was fourteen, doing whatever he had to do to stay off Nawlins’ streets. Sometimes that meant sleeping with men. Jerome said he has always known he was gay but he didn’t have his parents around. His mom didn’t know who his daddy was and his mom was battling her own street demons. Hearing Indigo talk about all her sexcapades with all these different men, was not a shock but made me feel like I was missing out on life. Just living it the way I want to.

   She had mentioned that she was head over heels with some guy named Goldie, but he has since then went back to his girlfriend. The whole story sounded crazy from beginning to end but Jerome and I listened to every word. Now she on this new kick, with a new dick that she calls “monster dick.” She never said his name but I see she was really fond of him. Then when I told my story, of how Jerome and I met in Nawlins’ when I was on vacation and how we just hit it off. Indigo learned that I was also gay; now turned transgender, born Alex, now Alexis. I couldn’t be happier telling them that the guy I’m seeing has no clue that I was ever a guy. Makes for a damn good reality show. Indigo grew some concerns when I said he doesn’t know it, seemed genuine enough for me to explain.

   “Excuse me for being so forward; How can he not know he fucking a transgender. I mean when he eating you and fucking you, he can’t tell that you wasn’t born a woman and this is just random; why do you and Charles wear matching bracelets?” Damn she is blunt. “Well if you must know. We always have sex in the dark or by candle light. If we shower together, I always make sure my back is turned to him, and when I change and lotion up my body, I go in the spare bedroom so I don’t have to keep turning in different angles.

   The funny thing about it is, he just thinks I just have an enormous clit. Now about the bracelets, the life we live is not accepted by everyone. Neither one of us have anyone close in our lives that we would consider family but each other. It’s like our own life alert bracelets; should anything ever happen to us, then they would know who to call.” Whatever Indigo was drinking, came flying across the room when I mentioned enormous clit, she fell out laughing. I leaned to the left in the chair, so her drink wouldn’t get on me. Jerome and I laughed too. I guess my little secret is not that bad after all.