Authors: Amanda Dresden
“
Hey there, little lady. You better slow down or you’ll make me look bad!”
Chris near
ly spat up making Wade laugh.
“
Joe!? Lower your voice!” she hissed and smacked him hard on the shoulder.
“
Oww! Dude what the hell, man?!”
Chris looked around and adjusted her beanie, but to her relief, neither the bartender nor the elderly couple noticed anything.
“You’re gonna get me in trouble!” she seethed at him.
While Joe rubbed his sore limb, Os rolled his eyes and killed off the rest of his beer before he put it back down on the table. He then belched loudly in front of them all and Chris
nearly gagged when his foul breath reached her nose.
“
Well, I’m off to bed.”
“
Bed?! Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? It’s only eleven!” Joe exclaimed.
“
Yeah, I know. I’m gettin’ kinda tired,” Os said as he got up from the table.
Wade also protested with
a long, drawn-out sigh, “Os. C’mon, man.”
But Chris
knew better. He was lying through his teeth. She knew he didn’t want to spend any more time than he had to with Hess’ replacement – not with a girl.
Joe and Wade continued
protesting but to no avail. Os walked through the doors and out of sight.
“
Will you guys stop already? He hasn’t said two words to me all year.” Chris slumped in her seat and began to pick several paint chips off the wall. “…and I don’t expect him to start now.”
But hardly the one to wear a frown, Joe playfully wrapped his arm around both her shoulders and squeezed her a little too tight.
“Aww, c’mon now! That’s no way to start the night! We still love you! C’mon, Wade! We do, don’t we?”
“
Awesome,” Chris said with a roll of her eyes.
“
You’re drunk, Joe,” Wade stated, before he took a long draught from his beer.
“
Thank you, Mr. Obvious!”
Both Wade and Chris chuckled while she tried to physically separate
herself from Joe, but just then, she got a whiff of a strong odor.
“
Gah! Get away from me. You smell like chlorine!”
Unabashed, Joe remained cheery and leaned over slightly in his seat. With a wide grin, he farted so loud, Chris felt it vibrate through the seat.
“How ‘bout now?” he asked.
Right away, the stench of dead animal carcasses and rotted food
reached her nostrils.
“Oh my god!” Chris groaned as she buried
her head into her sleeves, but it was no use. Her eyes welled with tears from Joe’s noxious gas.
Even Wade tried to wave away the fetid smell using both his hands.
“For fuck’s sake, man! In public!?” Wade hissed.
“You know a better…” Joe hiccupped. “…time?”
Chris rolled her eyes and looked up at Wade. “Time off to relax, huh?”
Wade winced. “Yeah, I didn
’t see this one coming.”
“
C’mon ‘n drink up, l’il lady!” Joe ushered, clinking his beer bottle into Chris’ and spilling a few drops in the process.
“
Joe! Watch out, wouldja?! This is my favorite hoodie!”
“
Joe. C’mon, man. This is a little noisy even for
you
.”
Wade tried his best to be serious
, but he had a hard time keeping his composure. Watching the two of them together was like watching a brother and sister fight.
But despite his antics, Chris always felt more relaxed with Joe around. No matter the occasion he seemed the excellent friend and party-goer and his goofy idiosyncrasies always
made her feel welcome, relaxed, but most of all - accepted.
And
several beers later, she soon forgot about Os and his poor attitude from earlier. She felt like being more sociable now than she’d ever been, but she couldn’t help it as a few of her words started to become slurred.
“
So Joe, tell meh somethin’.”
“
Anything you wanna know…I’m your man.”
"Good Go
d," Wade rolled his eyes but they both ignored his sarcasm.
“
You like girls,” Chis hiccupped. “Right?”
She
managed to hide a strong belch, but at the cost of a slight pain coming from the middle of her chest.
“
Fuck’er you kiddin’ me!? I
love
girls! If it wasn’t fer my momma, I wood’in be here! I love you, momma.”
Joe drifted off into his own world momentarily and raised his bottle
to the air. It was obvious that Joe was more than smashed while both Wade and Chris roared with laughter as he toasted his mother. But then, Joe brought one of his hands to his head as if he was hit with a sudden migraine.
“
Ohh! Nooo!” he suddenly burst aloud.
“
What? What’s wrong, Joe?” Chris asked, trying to keep her tired eyes open.
To Chris, it didn
’t seem that long ago since she joined them at the bar, but as she looked at the clock above the doorway, two hours had already gone by.
“
I just remembered something!”
“
This’ll be good,” Wade butted in with a sip of his beer.
“
No, no! I’m serious, man! I just remembered…” he closed his eyes and squinted hard. “I left my damn charger on the bus! Fuck! My tablet’s almost dead!”
“
Joe, Joe! Chill, man! It’s all good. I brought mine with me. You can swing by my room and get it. I’m not gonna use it,” Chris offered.
“
Whoa, really!?”
“
Sure. Just come by in the morning and it’s yours.”
“
Ten bucks says he’ll forget,” Wade teased as he reached for another beer.
“You
’re on,” Chris chimed in, and clinked beer bottles with Wade.
“
Whatever, man! I got a memory like uh…uhm. Like uh…”
“
…an elephant?” Wade interjected. “The way you’ve been drinkin’ tonight, you won’t remember shit that happened five minutes ago.”
Chris burst into laughter.
“Fuck you, man! Nothing’s gonna keep me from my movies!”
“
Yeah,” Wade chuckled to himself. “…
adult
movies.”
Chris nearly choked on a mouthful of beer.
“Dude! What the-!? I’m gonna pound your ass!”
Joe squealed and got up out of his seat in a playful attempt to punch Wade. But his foot caught the sma
ll stoop and he would have fallen on the floor if not for Wade’s help.
“
You’re not gonna pound anyone. You’re too wasted to tie your own god damn shoes.”
“
Oh yeah!?”
As Joe reached down to his feet preparing to
act on Wade’s challenge, he fell onto the floor instead and this time, Wade wasn’t fast enough to catch him. He groaned and set his beer on the table while he leaned over and pulled Joe back to his feet.
“
Alright, man. I think you’ve had enough for tonight. Let’s go.”
“
Go where?” Joe asked.
“
To your
room
!” Wade said impatiently.
“
Hell no, man! I got this shit. Man, I gotta piss like a mother-.”
Joe spun in a circle a few times before Wade stopped h
im and helped him face the door like a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game.
“
Whatever, man. Let’s go. It’s obvious you need my help.”
Wade shook his head and was p
repared to walk him to his room but Joe shrugged him off, determined to make it on his own.
“
Help!? What’re gonna do, man? Hold my dick for me? I love you, man, but not like that.”
“
Man, you’re killin’ me. Shut the hell up. Do you even know what room you’re in?”
Suddenly, Joe held up the palm of his hand and grinned. And there, written in bold, black lettering were the numbers 2-2-8.
Wade was shocked.
“
It’s about time you learned your damn lesson. God help you if you ever do the same shit you did in Austin…”
Joe became riddled with embarrassment
and tried to come up with a retort. Chris snickered when she recalled that day. Joe got so drunk on whiskey, he banged on another door at the hotel and screamed at a poor old woman and insisted she had ‘stolen’ his room. It was a fine mess for security when they couldn’t get him to wake up all while he snoozed peacefully on the woman’s bed. Wade was just thankful that the reporters didn’t get a hold of that story.
“
She
was
in my room, I swear it!”
“
Sure, she was,” Wade said, killing off his beer.
“
Whatever, man. I’m gonna go piss for an hour.”
While
Joe bobbed and weaved his way to the door, Chris and Wade watched him as he stumbled through the doors and out of sight. But as soon as he was gone, Chris was gripped by the sudden realization that she was very much alone with the most popular front man in the world of rock music. She took a long gulp of beer.
A few hours and several beers into it
, the alcohol made her lips grow numb and she caught herself on more than one occasion pressing them together to get feeling back into them.
An awkward silence ensued as Wade also struggled to com
e up with something to say. Just minutes ago they talked so carefree with Joe around, and for the last few hours they touched on every subject; home, life, music. Now, there just didn’t seem anything left as Chris picked at the moist napkin from under her beer bottle and cleared her throat.
“
Well, I uhm…I guess I better get goin’ too-.”
But she only made it half
way out of her seat before Wade spoke up.
“
So, how much do you know about Hess?” he asked, staring down at the table.
Chris paused at the question and she could feel her heart stop. A
lready, she was trying to expertly take her seat across from Wade again. She mentally struggled to become sober very quickly; after all, it was a rare and avoided topic.
“
I uhm,” she began, hearing her own audible swallow. “…only saw what was on the news…radio, internet, ‘n stuff.”
Wade look
ed up at her and nodded. Chris wondered how he could even be coherent. He had more beers than anyone that night, yet he looked surprisingly sober and aware of everything around him.
“
Well, nothing says news like a hundred conniving reporters doing everything they can for a juicy story.”
Just then, she looked around to ensure that they were still completely alone. The elderly couple left hours ago and the bartender stood enamored with the television. Regardless, she leaned slightly over the table, intent on making whatever he had to say, for her ears only
.
“
Are you saying it wasn’t true? That Hess was innocent?”
“
Innocent? Fuck no. It’s true alright. Every damn detail,” he sighed.
Chris squirmed in her seat.
She didn’t have a clue as to why Wade chose to mention her predecessor now, but one look into his glazed eyes and she realized that several beers may have loosened his tongue a bit after all.
“
I’m sorry. I know you don’t like talking about it, so I never asked.”
Wade exhaled for the longest time and a napkin floated across the table
as it road his breath.
“
Why haven’t you?”
“
Huh?”
“
As a part of Heretic, you have every right to know. Hell, I think everyone and their
mom
knows by now.”
Wade stared at the table and shook his head, trying
desperately to forget the media hurricane and its ever lingering memories. But despite Wade’s cool mantra, Chris suddenly felt as if she were being interviewed for a job.
“
I’m just here to play. Drama is the last thing I want.”
“
Well, thanks for that. I appreciate it. We all do.”
Wade appeared to drift off into space. But after a few uncomfortable mo
ments of silence, Chris pressed him again. “Why are you bringing this up now?”
“
Well, the way I see it is: you’ll have been with us for over a year now and you’ve exceeded my expectations. And that’s hard to do.” Chris’ heart stopped for a second and thankfully, her hoodie hid most of her blushing. “You’ve proven yourself a capable musician and die-hard member of Heretic and more importantly - you’re better than Hess by far. It’s only right that you should know everything. Even a few things about Os.”