No Regrets (17 page)

“I'm sorry, Liam. I really like you and I want to keep seeing you, but I just can't make the kind of commitment you want me to. Not right now.”

He exhaled, then sat back. “What's going on with you, Cami? I know something's going on, but you won't tell me anything. I've told you all about me and my dad, but you won't tell me a thing.”

“That's not true! I told you about my nerdy, dirty secret.”

I hoped he'd laugh or at least smile, but he didn't. All he did was shake his head and clench his coffee cup like he was considering smashing it.

“Does this mean you don't want to see me at all anymore?” I whispered. I wasn't sure which way I wanted it to go. If he said no, he didn't want to, it would hurt. But if he said yes, then I might cave.

“I still want to see you.” He shook his head like he thought he was the biggest idiot in the world, then said, “My frat's having a Christmas formal right before the break. Go with me. If you show up with someone else, I may have to pummel the guy.”

The idea of Liam fighting for me was so totally hot it made me want to jump across the table and mount him, but I forced out a laugh. “We can't have that, now can we?”

Liam grinned and shrugged. Why did he have to be so sexy? Those adorable crooked teeth . . . Ahh! It was torture.

“I'll go with you,” I said, smiling. “I'll take any chance I can get to have my body pressed up against yours.”

Liam groaned and let his head fall back. “You're bloody killing me!”

That made two of us I was killing.

 

Now that things were settled with Liam, and Annie and Chris were no longer together, it was easier to convince her to go out to bars with me on the weekend. The fake IDs Ryan had helped us get were really coming in handy.

I was determined to hook up with a guy and finally get that one-night stand knocked off my list. It wasn't hard to get guys to buy me drinks, and it wasn't tough to get them to ask for my number—even though Annie was still having a difficult time with both. Even getting them to ask me back to their place wasn't hard. It was going through with it that was the problem.

Things always started off fine, with me flirting and feeling hot and totally attracted to whatever sexy specimen of a man I'd picked out. But as the night got close to ending and the guy became more and more forward, I always found myself pulling away. It was like I didn't actually want to go through with it. Which was just nuts. It had been so long since I'd had sex, I was starting to wonder if it was possible to go back to being a virgin.

It always came down to one thing: Liam. I really did want Liam. I hated that I felt that way, but as the weeks after Thanksgiving slipped away and Christmas crept closer, the reality of the situation was too obvious for me to deny any longer. I liked Liam and I didn't want to sleep with or date anyone else. Flirting and letting a guy buy me a couple drinks were one thing, but thinking about doing anything else made me want to hurl.

Damn Liam and his imitation sex hair.

T
he Christmas formal was at the beach house, the one owned by Liam's dad. The first time I was there, I'd been so preoccupied with thoughts of Liam, I hadn't really taken the time to fully appreciate the place. Now that I was on his arm, I didn't have anything to distract me from really soaking it all in.

It was freaking amazing.

I stood on my tiptoes and put my mouth right up against Liam's ear. “I can't believe your dad owns this.”

He shook his head and pressed his finger to his lips. I didn't really understand why he was keeping it a secret, but I would keep quiet. I had secrets of my own, after all.

“Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone,” I said, brushing my lips across his cheek before turning back to study the house.

A massive Christmas tree was set up at the back of the room, right in front of the huge wall of windows that overlooked the beach. It was like something you'd see in an interior design magazine. I was one hundred percent sure Liam's dad had hired someone to decorate the thing. It was that perfect. Lights and garlands and red bows ran up the banister and across every doorway, and there was a huge wreath above the fireplace. I swear, Martha Stewart would get a boner over the place.

The guys were all dressed in black tuxes while the girls wore cocktail dresses in every color imaginable. Since it was Christmas, red and green predominated, but there were also golds and silvers and blacks mixed in. While some were covered in sequins that sparkled across the room, others were satin or lace. I couldn't look anywhere without getting a glimpse of cleavage. Not that I was any exception.

Annie's royal blue dress really stood out in the crowd. I was relieved I'd been able to talk her into going. She'd tried to back out at least a dozen times over the past couple weeks, but I'd been persistent. Mitch had somehow managed to convince her to go with him, which was weird. I would have been concerned or warned her to watch out for his snakelike tongue, but it was Annie. She was the last person I needed to worry about doing something crazy. And
doing
Mitch would have been crazy.

As soon as I was sure Annie was okay with Mitch, I grabbed Liam and pulled him through the crowd to the dance floor. As much as I wanted us to find our way back up to the bedroom, the beat of the music and thrill of the party were too much to resist. We had the whole night ahead of us to work our way to the bed.

Liam had his body pressed up against mine within seconds of stepping into the crowd. His hands on my hips were firm, and the way he pulled me against him felt possessive: like he really was afraid I might run off with some other guy. In the heat of the moment, it was so sexy it made me forget all the pain and guilt I'd been carrying around. I let all thoughts of Julie and the accident slip away, and leaned my whole body against his, moving with the music as I closed my eyes and breathed in Liam.

We stayed like that most of the night, pressed up against each other, dancing, only taking breaks so we could get a drink or enjoy the appetizers that had been set out. I didn't see Annie once the whole night, but I did notice Mitch hanging all over Amber. It almost made me laugh. If I liked her at all, I'd have given her a heads-up about what a horrible kisser he was. Too bad for her, I was kind of hoping she'd choke on his tongue.

As the night wore on, Liam barely left my side. He was always touching me. A hand on my hip or lower back, his lips moving their way down my neck while we danced. His fingers trailing their way up my spine. If I hadn't already realized how much I wanted him, I would have known it then. My heart pounded harder with every second we were near each other, and by the time Liam pulled me toward the stairs, I was pretty sure it was on the verge of exploding out of my chest.

He led me up to the same bedroom as last time, not saying a word until we were inside and the door was shut. Then he turned to me and smiled. “I remembered.”

He kissed me before I could ask what he was talking about. A firm kiss that took my breath away and made my knees wobble. I closed my eyes and practically collapsed against him. Luckily, his hands were on my hips so I didn't fall.

His tongue forced its way in my mouth as his hands roved my body. Down my back and ass. To my hips, then up my sides. He stopped when his hands were just over my ribs, splayed out just under my breasts. Occasionally, he moved his thumbs across my nipples. Heat moved through me, settling between my legs. I clenched my thighs as I moaned against Liam's mouth. If I had anything to say about it, we would not be stopping this time.

“Tell me you have a condom,” I whispered.

“Told you I remembered.”

His tongue delved deeper and his lips worked faster. We moved toward the bed, never breaking from the kiss. He slid his hand around to my back and unzipped my dress while I worked on the buttons of his shirt. My dress slipped away and he shrugged off his jacket. His shirt came next, which gave me the perfect opportunity to run my hands over his hard muscles. Just thinking about him being on top of me and feeling his firm body against my naked skin had me quivering in anticipation.

We reached the bed just as I undid his pants. He pulled his mouth away from mine and I whimpered.

“Shoes,” he said, grinning as he leaned down to pull off his shoes and socks.

His pants went next, and he kicked them aside before turning back to me. He touched his lips to my neck and kissed his way down as he reached around to undo my bra. It fell away, freeing my breasts, which Liam took full advantage of. His mouth covered my right nipple and he sucked it into his mouth, rolling it between his teeth. I gasped at the wonderful pain, squeezing my eyes shut and running my fingers through his soft hair while he nipped at my skin.

Then we were on the bed, kissing. Gasping for breath. His hot skin against mine was driving me wild. I couldn't wait another second to have him.

I squirmed out of my thong, then went for his boxer briefs. Liam kicked them aside while he reached for the nightstand, coming back with a condom. He ripped it open like it was the difference between life and death, and pulled away from me just long enough to roll it on.

He moved between my legs, and ran his fingers up my inner thigh. His eyes held mine as he touched me, teasing me until I couldn't hold still. I grabbed his back, digging my nails into his skin. Trying to pull him closer. To get what my body wanted. Which was Liam. Inside me.

“Liam,” I gasped, giving him a pleading look when no other words would come.

He grinned, then moved forward. His hardness brushed against my entrance and my eyes rolled back in my head. He moved his hands up my stomach to my breasts, staying just at my entrance. I bucked my hips forward, trying to move closer so he could slide inside, but he held back. Every time he brushed against me, it made my body tremble. I wanted to beg, but I couldn't make my mouth form words.

Finally, he gave me what I wanted, thrusting into me with one quick motion, making me cry out. His mouth covered mine as he began to move. In and out. Fast. So fast my head spun. Every nerve in my body moved to my center, tightening in the most amazing way. Coiling together until I was nothing but a ball of anticipation. I dug my nails into his back and raised my hips to meet his, wanting him deeper.

He pulled my right leg up, giving him better access, and moved faster still. I could hardly catch my breath as the coil inside me tightened until it was almost uncomfortable. Then Liam reached between us and rubbed that small bundle of nerves at my center, making the knot inside me unravel in an explosion that could have rivaled the big bang. I cried out as my back arched. The waves of pleasure sweeping over me were more intense than any I'd ever experienced.

Liam groaned and moved even deeper, thrusting into me a couple more times before his body jerked, then stilled. He was breathing hard, trying to catch his breath. I was just as winded when he rolled over and pulled me against him. I rested my head on his moist chest and closed my eyes as he moved his hand over my head, running his fingers through my hair.

Liam's lips brushed the top of my head, and I didn't feel terrified or smothered or guilty. All I felt was total contentment. Like I was supposed to be with him.

I turned my head and rested my chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes. They were so blue, so sexy it made my heart constrict. A strange feeling of want came over me that I didn't understand. It was like I wanted to be even closer to him, but we couldn't get any closer than we already were.

It was entirely possible the desire I felt had nothing to do with sex.

Liam smiled, flashing me his adorably crooked teeth. “Bloody glad I brought those condoms.”

I laughed and let out a deep breath. “Me too. Not going to lie, I was feeling pretty sexually frustrated.”

“Well, we can't have that, now can we?” He grinned and pulled me up so he could kiss me.

“Ready for round two?” I said against his lips, laughing a little.

“I did bring a whole box of condoms.”

He rolled me onto my back and kissed me. After a few seconds, round two was sounding pretty damn good. His lips went down my neck and I sighed.

“I wish I wasn't leaving tomorrow,” he whispered against my chest, his warm breath tickling my skin. “I don't know how I'm going to go a whole month without seeing this body.”

He kissed my nipple, then traced it with his tongue.

“Don't go, then,” I said, curling my fingers through his hair. His real sex hair. There was no imitation when it came to that adorable mess on top of his head.

“Will you miss me?” He looked up and held my gaze while he rolled my nipple between his thumb and finger.

I moaned and writhed under his touch. “Yes.”

Liam swallowed, and his eyes held mine. “Cami . . .”

My heart beat faster. So fast and so loud the whole world seemed lost. I nodded because I knew what he was saying. What he was asking, and I wanted to say yes. To tell him it would be just the two of us. That there would be no one else. It felt good and right.

Liam smiled and moved back up to cover my mouth with his.

The night went by in a blur of lips and hot skin and moans. Round two was better than round one had been, but three was the best by far. While the first two times had been rushed and bordering on rough, Liam took his time with round three, doing what could only be described as making love to me. I'd never had a guy take his time like that, put so much effort into pleasing me. I was dizzy by the end, but a good kind of dizzy. An amazing kind of dizzy that made me wonder why I had ever been stupid enough to think I couldn't commit myself to Liam.

I fell asleep in his arms sometime around four o'clock in the morning, totally exhausted but more satisfied than I'd ever been in my entire life. And happy.

 

We woke early thanks to the sun rising over the ocean. It shone through the huge windows and lit up the whole room.

Liam pulled me against him, kissing the top of my head. “Morning.”

I sighed, feeling more content than I had in over a year. I wasn't even thinking about Julie or my notebook or the promise I was breaking. Only thinking of Liam. I loved waking up next to him. Loved how warm and safe and protected he made me feel.

“The sun's coming up,” I whispered.

He pulled away from me and rolled out of bed. “Let's go watch it.”

“Outside?” I glanced toward the balcony and frowned.

It was December and probably forty degrees outside, but the little bit of sky I could see was breathtaking. Orange and pink and red. Brilliant. It did sound like a good idea, assuming we could keep warm. But we were both naked.

Liam jerked the blanket off me, and it took me a second to realize he was pulling it off the bed completely. He tucked it under his arm, then tilted his head toward the door, holding his hand out. “Come on.”

I took his hand and he pulled me out of bed, then led me toward the French doors. When he pushed them open, the air was so cold my body turned into one giant goose bump. I shivered, but didn't hesitate when Liam led me toward the chair. He draped the blanket around his shoulders then sat in the chair, and I climbed onto his lap. I sighed in contentment when he wrapped his arms around me, covering me with the blanket, engulfing me in his warm embrace.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and we sat in silence, watching the sun rise. Every time I exhaled, steam rose up in front of me, but I was warm and cozy.

Liam's lips brushed the top of my head, and I turned my face toward his. His mouth covered mine and I opened up to him, tracing his tongue with mine. His hand moved up my naked body, cupping my breast, and I twisted to straddle him.

He caressed my body while we kissed, and before long it didn't feel like December anymore. More like July. I was so hot I was panting, and all I could think about was getting a condom. But I didn't want to move away.

Luckily, Liam had come prepared. He pulled away long enough to rip open the foil packet he'd had the foresight to grab, and slipped the condom on. I lowered myself onto him, gasping when he grabbed my hips and thrust into me. I threw my head back when he moved faster. Harder. I couldn't even care that we were outside when I cried out.

When we were done, we stumbled back inside and took advantage of the large shower before getting dressed. The whole night was like a dream, made even more surreal by the fact that Liam was so happy. He grinned whenever our eyes met, acting like he'd won some long sought-after prize. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such admiration, but I knew I didn't want to walk away from it.

It wasn't until we went downstairs that I remembered the party. The house was a mess, with empty beer bottles and cans and red Solo cups everywhere. There were even a few people passed out on the floor in the living room. It looked like the apocalypse had taken place in the beach house, not a frat party.