No Regrets (13 page)

By the time Annie came out of the bathroom, my stomach was in so many knots I thought those frozen waffles Mike had fed me might make a sudden reappearance. I needed to get out of the dorm room, and fast.

I scooped up my beach bag and towel, then turned to Annie. “Ryan didn't answer, but Mike is in. Want to go?”

“My head is killing me,” she said. “I think I'm just going to stay here and work on my paper.”

“Suit yourself,” I said. I was way too anxious to argue with her at that point. If she wanted to stay in the room all day with that demon-possessed notebook, that was her choice.

Liam didn't text or call me after Saturday night, and it surprised me how disappointed I was. I knew I needed to face him eventually if I wanted to try and pull off dating two guys at once, but I wasn't looking forward to a possible confrontation. Not that I thought I'd done something wrong, but I was a bit afraid of what he might think. He had seen me get in that cab with a stranger, after all.

Mike, on the other hand, did text me. We'd had a lot of fun at the beach, and the more time I spent with him, the more I realized he'd been telling me the truth. He was not a one-night stand kind of guy.

I didn't see Liam again until the following Wednesday. I was running late to Dr. Houseman's office—go figure—and almost ran right into Liam when I turned onto King Street. What are the odds?

“Shit! Liam, I'm sorry!” I came to a stop within inches of him, which, I'm not going to lie, was a really nice place to be.

He grabbed my arms to steady me, but dropped his hands the second he was certain I wasn't going to fall on my ass. “You okay?”

I nodded and glanced down the street. The office was only about ten feet away and I was really late, but there was no way in hell I could go in there with Liam right in front of me. I couldn't let him know I was in therapy. He'd think I was nuts. And not in an adorable way.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” I said, tearing my eyes away from the office and smiling up at Liam.

He tilted his head to the side like he was trying to figure me out, which was so cute my heart actually quivered. “You in a rush?”

I shook my head and tried not to let his blue eyes hypnotize me. It wasn't easy. “Just out for a walk. Trying to clear my head. You know how it is. There's so much going on in there I sometimes feel like I'm suffocating. The fresh air helps.”

He narrowed his eyes on my face and I squirmed uncomfortably. He didn't believe me and I couldn't blame him. It was still super hot out, and I'd complained about how much I hated being all sweaty too many times for him to buy my explanation.

“I'm sure you're in a hurry, though,” I said, hoping he'd take the hint and leave. Then I could make my appointment without giving away how messed up my brain really was.

Liam shook his head and his blond hair flopped over his ears. Thanks to the humidity, it had curled at the base of his neck, making him look even more adorable than usual. “Actually, I've nowhere to be. Fancy a walk? We could grab dinner after.”

I gnawed on my bottom lip while I thought the whole thing through. If I said no, he might leave and give me a chance to escape into Dr. Houseman's office. But he might not. There was always the possibility he'd stand there, waiting to see where I went. Then I'd lose out on my appointment and a free dinner. Plus, I'd missed talking to him the last couple of days.

It was okay to skip one week of therapy, right?

“Yeah,” I finally said, doing my best to ignore the way my stomach twisted with guilt. “Let's do it.”

Liam chuckled and slung his arm over my shoulders. “You just can't control yourself around me, can you?”

I pressed my lips together to try and hold back my smile, which didn't work at all. “What can I say? I'm a sucker for the accent.”

He laughed and spun me around, heading in the opposite direction. I snuck one final look at Dr. Houseman's office as we turned the corner, and my stomach clenched. Which was just dumb. It wasn't like Julie was going to start haunting me if I missed one week.

Liam dropped his arm after a few minutes and we walked side by side down Calhoun Street. We passed College Lodge, then Marion Square Park. Before long the bay came into view. It was late afternoon, but the sun was still pretty high. The rays reflected off the water, making it sparkle. The humidity was still just as stifling, but the breeze coming from the far-off ocean was nice. Cool, even.

When we had reached the South Carolina Aquarium, the silence between us had turned suffocating. I wasn't used to being with someone for so long without conversation, and I felt like Liam had something very specific on his mind. It probably had to do with the other night.

By the time we reached the bay, I couldn't stand the suspense any longer.

“Are you going to bring up Saturday night?” I blurted out.

Liam stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. His expression was pained, almost as if thinking about it hurt. “I'm not your boyfriend, so I don't have the right to tell you what to do. It's not like I've never picked somebody up at a pub.”

A sharp pain stabbed me in the heart at the thought of Liam taking some random girl back to his place. Was that what he'd done after I left the club with Mike? I couldn't even think about it, and I didn't want him doing it again. That was for sure. But it wasn't like I could tell him to stop.

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him the truth about what had happened, but the words stuck in my throat. I'd only be doing it to prove something to him, although I wasn't sure what that was quite yet. Like Liam said, he wasn't my boyfriend. I didn't have any more of a right to tell him what to do than he had to tell me what to do.

We were standing in the middle of the sidewalk just staring at each other. People had to walk around us, and a few even shot us dirty looks as they went by. I didn't care, though. I just needed to figure out what expectations Liam had for me so we could move on.

“I'm not looking for something serious, Liam, and I didn't think you were either,” I finally said. “It's just not something I can do. There are too many other things going on with me right now. I'm not whole enough.”

Liam flashed me a lopsided grin. “I may be turning over a new leaf, but I'm not ready to settle down.”

“So we're just having fun?” I asked, feeling somewhat relieved. The conversation had been a lot easier than I'd thought.

“Fun.” Liam grabbed my hand and started walking.

I let him lace his fingers through mine even though the gesture seemed more sweet than fun. In truth, I liked the feeling of his skin against mine. It was warm and inviting and reassuring. Just like he was.

 

I spent the next couple weeks dividing my time between Liam and Mike. Whether it was lunch or dinner, Liam took me out to a different place every time we got together; only I wasn't sure if he was doing it to avoid Ryan or to avoid being alone with me. Liam was insanely polite when we were together, which drove me wild whenever we did kiss.

Mike, on the other hand, always had me over to his place. We spent most of our time tangled together on the couch or in bed, half dressed. I felt like he was using me to rid his apartment of the ex-fiancée smell. Not that I was complaining. I couldn't get anywhere near home base with Liam, and Mike was a fun alternative. Sexy and sweet and a fantastic kisser.

I hadn't really mentioned to either one of the guys that I was seeing the other, though. Mike had flat-out told me this was a rebound thing for him, and Liam had insisted he wasn't interested in anything serious. Plus, I didn't really feel I owed it to either one of them to explain myself. It's not like I thought Liam was sitting at home on his couch whenever we weren't together, pining over me. That was just nuts. Of course, I knew they were going to find out about each other eventually. It was only a matter of time.

It was exactly two weeks after my conversation with Liam when things finally changed. I'd headed over to Mike's after my therapy session, and he and I had worked up quite an appetite on his couch. He didn't have any food in his place since he was getting ready to go on a mission, so we decided to head down the street to a little deli on the corner.

It was late evening and the sun had almost set, but the air was still warm and humid. Mike and I were in a good mood, teasing each other as we headed through the crowds. Being with him was nice and comfortable, but even I had to admit the heat was starting to wear off. I liked Mike a lot, but it could never be anything long-term. We just didn't have that kind of connection.

The deli was crowded, so we had to wait in line behind four other people. When Mike grinned down at me, I was able to get a really good look at him for the first time since we'd left his apartment. He looked like he'd just gone for a drive in a convertible with the top down.

I swiped my hand across his head and giggled. “You have sex hair!”

“No I don't,” he said, trying to smooth it down.

“You
so
do! Like major sex hair!” I was laughing so hard the people in front of us turned to stare, but I couldn't control myself.

Mike grinned back at me as he ran his hands across his head over and over again, but it didn't help. “Guess it's time for a haircut.” He wouldn't stop trying to flatten it.

The front door opened and a gust of warm air hit me in the back. Someone came in, then it swung shut, but I didn't bother looking their way. I was too busy giggling.

“I wouldn't talk.” Mike grabbed a handful of my hair and gave it a tug. “You have quite the sex hair going on yourself.”

“I do not! I brushed my hair before we left your place.”

I laughed and swatted Mike's hand away as I took a step back, bumping into the person behind me.

“Sorry,” I said, turning around and coming face to face with Liam. My laughter morphed into a noise that sounded like I was choking. “Liam? What are you doing here?”

“Getting something to eat,” he said flatly. His blue eyes were focused on Mike, not me.

“Hey, what's up?” Mike stepped forward and extended his hand toward Liam. “I'm Mike.”

Liam pressed his lips together and turned his gaze to me. He didn't take Mike's hand. For a long moment the three of us stood in an awkward circle, Mike with his hand out, Liam staring, looking back and forth between the two of us, me wishing I could turn back time and ignore my growling stomach.

“Okay.” Mike finally dropped his hand. He looked at me briefly before turning around so he could get back in line. Unlike Liam, he didn't look very upset by the situation.

Liam ripped his eyes away from Mike and they swept over me, as if he was checking to see if I really did have sex hair. As if he would know. We hadn't gotten anywhere near sex hair territory since the night of Annie's birthday party.

“What are you doing Saturday?” he said when his eyes were back on mine.

I blinked at least sixty times. “What?”

“Saturday. My frat's having a beach party.”

“Okay . . .” I couldn't quite figure out how we'd gotten from that weird stand-off to an invitation to a beach party, but I wasn't opposed to it. I loved the beach. Loved putting on a bikini. It sounded like fun.

“If you're not already occupied, that is.” Liam's eyes went behind me. To Mike.

I blew out a long breath. Why did relationships have to get so complicated? “I'm free, and it sounds like fun.”

Liam nodded and started to back away. “Good. See you then.”

“Wait! Aren't you eating?”

He shook his head, and finally grinned. “Naw. Saw you come in, so I thought I'd say hi.” He shrugged and seemed to relax. Almost like he'd talked himself out of being upset. The whole thing was weird. Like we were in
The Twilight Zone
.

Liam slipped out the door and I turned back to Mike. “Sorry. That was weird.”

“Let me guess. You're dating him.” Mike smiled like it was no big deal. Which it shouldn't have been.

My face scrunched up, and even though I tried to smooth it out because I knew the expression was totally hideous, I couldn't. “Yes? I don't know. I thought we were just having a good time, but I think he may actually want to date just me.”

Mike nodded, but before he could say anything, it was our turn to order. We got a couple sandwiches and ate them as we walked down the street. Chewing made it impossible to really talk, which for once was fine with me. I was too busy thinking about Liam and how he'd acted. And how horrible I'd felt when I realized he'd overheard my conversation with Mike. It was a pretty crappy way for him to find out I was seeing someone else, and after that whole mess, he had to think Mike and I were sleeping together. We weren't, though. I wasn't exactly positive why. He was willing, that's for sure, but I found myself holding back for some reason. After running into Liam, I had a suspicion the reason had blond hair and blue eyes and a dead sexy British accent.

Shit.

By the time my sandwich was gone, I'd pretty much made up my mind the whole thing with Mike had gotten too complicated. He was on the rebound and he couldn't be thrilled about wasting time with a girl who wouldn't give it up. After seeing the expression on Liam's face, there was no way I'd be able to do it now. Plus, I liked Liam. Mike had been a nice distraction, but I knew when it was time to move on.

“So, I think maybe we should part ways,” I said, not really looking at Mike, but trying to get a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye.

He nodded and let out a deep breath, but he didn't seem shocked. “Yeah. Seems like your friend might make all of this a waste of time for you.”