No Regrets (23 page)

I focused on Ryan as a tear rolled down my cheek.
Great, Cami. Mess up your makeup before you even go on your big date.
“I shouldn't have let her get in that car. We both know that. We both know I'm at least partially responsible for what happened.”

Ryan shook his head like he was trying to make sense of something, and Annie came over to sit next to him. She looked as concerned as Ryan did.

“What does Julie have to do with any of this?” Ryan asked.

“She missed out on so much. She couldn't wait for college. She was wild and had so many plans, so many things she wanted to do. I feel like I robbed her of all that. Like I owe her.”

Ryan exhaled and glanced toward Annie. When he looked back at me he said, “Wait a minute. Are you saying you've been doing all this crazy stuff for Julie?”

“I just wanted to make sure I was living for both of us.”

Ryan swore and scooted forward. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it until the knuckles in my fingers were grinding together. I winced, but he didn't ease up.

“Cami, we both know she wouldn't have listened to you. Yes, you should have tried to stop her, but you aren't the one who drove that car and you aren't the one who told her to get in it. Julie is responsible for her own actions. I know that sounds harsh considering what happened, but that's reality.”

It sounded exactly like what Jamie had said to me, only somehow it made more sense coming from Ryan. I guess I'd felt like Jamie was trying to relieve some of her own guilt when she'd said it. Like she blamed herself for the accident too. But maybe that wasn't it. Maybe she really felt that way and she was trying to help me understand.

Ryan squeezed my hand tighter and moved closer to me. Like if he got close enough, his words would have more meaning. “It sucks that it happened and I don't expect you to stop missing her or to forget about it, but you have to at least forgive yourself. And you can't go around putting yourself in crazy situations like you somehow owe it to Julie. Don't do something you'll regret just to fulfill some debt you think you owe to your dead friend. How is that any different from what I did with Chris?”

“I know,” I said. “I've already decided I have to stop all that stuff.”

“You promise, Cami?” Ryan asked.

“I promise,” I whispered. “I'm going to try to get over this, Ryan. I'm going to make choices for myself. Not be so reckless.”

“Good.” Ryan got to his feet and pulled me up, then wrapped his arms around me. “I'm sorry. I should have paid better attention.”

I laughed as a few tears flooded my eyes. “You're not the only one.”

Annie stood when I broke away from my cousin's hug, taking me in her arms as well. I had a strong suspicion she was going to be in my life for a long time, and it made me happy. There were very few people in the world good enough for Ryan, but Annie was one of them. They were made for each other.

Liam finally came out of the bedroom, looking amazing in a blue shirt and black leather jacket. He grinned when he saw me, showing off those adorably crooked teeth.

I returned his smile, not even caring that my mascara was probably smeared. “What took you so long? Was your imitation sex hair not cooperating today?”

“No. It's just that I couldn't stop staring at myself in the mirror.”

He stopped in front of me and put his hands on my hips, then pulled me against him. When Liam leaned down to kiss me, Ryan groaned, but I didn't care. Not when Liam's mouth covered mine or when his tongue slid into my mouth. He could kiss me in front of anyone and I would be okay with it. Because he liked me. Crazy, messed-up brain and all.

Kate L. Mary is a stay-at-home mother of four and an Air Force wife. She grew up in a small town just north of Dayton, Ohio, where she and her husband met at the age of twelve. Since their marriage in 2002, they have lived in Georgia, Mississippi, South Carolina, and California.

Kate enjoys any post-apocalyptic story—especially if zombies are involved—as long as there is a romantic twist to give the story hope. Kate prefers nerdy, non-traditional heroes who can make you laugh to hunky pieces of man-meat, and her love of wine and chocolate is legendary among her friends and family. She currently resides in Oklahoma with her husband and children.

 

You can visit her at
www.KateLynnMary.com
.

To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.

 

 

LYRICAL SHINE BOOKS are published by

 

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Copyright © 2015 by Kate L. Mary

 

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ISBN: 978-1-6165-0805-0

 

ISBN-13: 978-1-60183-806-7
ISBN-10: 1-60183-806-X