No Regrets (No Regrets #1) (22 page)

I don’t know how long I
stood in that spot but at some point Jimmy has crossed the room and he whispers, “Grey, time’s up. We have to leave.”

My eyes open
, squinting into the cage, willing images to come to me. I want this more than anything. Even more than
her
, I realize. But I need to put a halt to the thoughts so it doesn’t ruin this.

I step
off the platform, joining Jimmy and Jackson. Jackson looks between us. “This is it. All three of us have a stake in this, Greylan more than any of us, though. Jimmy, we need to make sure we do everything we can to make this happen.”

Jimmy nods as if a silent message passes between them.

Jackson turns to me. “Go and take care of what you need. We’ll see you in the morning.”

That’s all I need to propel my feet forward. I catch a taxi outside and give
the driver the location. My hand absently moves to the folded up piece of paper in my pocket. My eyes close, picturing her and everything we did together the one day we spent in each other’s arms. My nerves are on edge, anticipating what tonight could bring.

Chapter 26

The elevator ride up to the top floor of the hot
el seems to pass in seconds. My chest is tight in anticipation of seeing her again. When the doors slide open, a maître'd welcomes me to the restaurant and asks if I have a reservation. I feel as if I’m under water. Everything is muffled as the blood surges through me and my heart speeds up. I manage the words to tell the man that I’m meeting Mollie Andrews here.
What the fuck? This is all wrong.
How can I feel like this about someone I know very little about?
But the list of all of the things I do know fills my head and my feet trudge on.

The man smiles
, acknowledging that Ms. Andrews is waiting for me. I follow him through the crush of tables and spot her across the room. She’s sipping from her wine glass, looking out the window over the expanse of the city. My heart lurches into my throat, causing me to take a deeper breath. The saying,
she takes my breath away
, is more than true for me in that moment. Her red locks hang messily, framing her creamy skin. When I approach the table, the maître'd announces me. Slowly she turns her head, those eyes catching me once again, making any words I might have spoken float away. A mixture of emotions passes over her features in that instant. She looks happy to see me but it turns quickly to sadness and something else, I’m not sure of. She pushes a smile up as I take the seat offered to me across from her.

The man stands for a few beats
before she averts her stare from mine and tells him, her tone all business, “Max, I think we’ll need a few moments. Will you bring Mr. Pace a double tall Jack?”

“Very good, madam.”
He scurries away, leaving me still staring at her. I can’t seem to tear my gaze away. She meets my stare with the same intensity but seems resigned as she looks at her hands in her lap after a few beats of my heart. I have a thousand things to say to her, to ask her, but nothing comes to me. I’m lost as if drowning, unable to reach for the air beyond the waves.

She seems torn and I want
to soothe her. It comes natural for me but so many other things tumble over that thought. Why did she ask me to meet her? And why the fuck is she messing with my head so much? But that’s all me, I realize. Her words from before ring through my head,
it was nice
. I’m not here for that if that’s what she’s looking for. As these thoughts float through me, regret starts to lodge itself into my chest, the only thing that will make me walk away. As I take in her light, delicate features, the way the silky cream sweater clings to her, I feel more and more that this was a mistake. I want more than anything to be here with her but not with so many things unspoken between us. There are so many things I want to know but I’m afraid the answers will mess with me.
No, this is not happening.

My
legs move, propelling me up from the chair. Worry crosses her face when she looks up. She opens her mouth to speak but snaps it closed again. The gold flitting through her eyes glints in the subdued flicker of the candle at the center of the table.

“Mollie, I
- I don’t think this is a good idea.” Trying like hell not to sink back into the chair, I force myself to leave, but her voice stops me before I can take another step.

“Grey, Greylan, I need to talk to you. Please don’t go.”

My eyes narrow, taking in her pleading tone. I wrestle with myself, knowing already that there never really was a choice. My body leans back down into the chair just as the drink appears before me. I clasp it, taking a gulp of the wet liquid. I know this is against my no alcohol promise, but so is sitting across from the one woman I now admit could break me if I allow it.

My
hand lingers on the glass, tightening when I look back up into her eyes.

“This is not what I was expecting.”
Great Grey, some lead in. What the fuck?

“I know.” Her voice grows stronger as she speaks
. “I had to see you.”

I throw
back the rest of the contents of the glass, squinting. Her hold over me is still so prominent, but that familiar anger I’m accustomed to starts to rear its ugly head.

“Okay, you saw me
, so now what? More sex, is that what you want?”

A look of shock crosses her features
, my words stinging exactly as I had intended. I’m here for one reason and that’s to fight. I can’t let her take that away. But I regret the words, seeing how they affect her. Our time together meant so much and it hurts that she left without a backwards glance.

The strength
is gone from her words. “Grey, I’m - I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. That was never what I intended…”

I want to tell her I’m sorry but I’m not. How can I be? I
didn’t do anything to this woman. Somehow she wiggled her way in and twisted until she was lodged so deeply that I couldn’t take a deep breath. I can’t let that happen again, not now just before the fight.

Standing
, I tell her, “Actually, Mollie, I don’t think there’s anything you can say to me at this point that I need to hear.” My chest tightens as the words leave.

I turn
before she can say anything else to make me stay. As I head for the door, Trinity’s words flash through my head, no regrets. I’m sure this isn’t what she meant by them, but this is what I need them to mean. One look at Mollie Andrews and I want to give it all up. That’s no good because fighting is all I know for sure.

Chapter 27

My
hand moves faster than I’ve ever seen it connecting with soft skin. A loud crack shakes me to the core
. I wake up panting and disoriented. A glance around the darkened room lit only by the undying lights outside slipping between the curtains reminds me where I am. I roll over, picturing the shocked look on Mollie’s face as I returned her words back to her.

Guilt lod
ges itself but that’s okay, I’m used to guilt. It’s the other things swirling around that I can’t deal with. As much as I’ve tried, regret does make an appearance but maybe it can be transformed into something useful in the cage. I need to turn it into something else. As my eyelids lower, I doze back to sleep and Mollie’s apology repeats through my head. She’s sorry, but really, does she have anything to be sorry about? No, she did nothing. She asked for nothing. This was all me.

A banging sound wakes me
hours later. A rough voice sounds on the other side. Jimmy.

“Grey, get up
, buddy. It’s D-day and you need to get outta there and ready.”

“Okay, I’m up.”

“See ya downstairs in thirty.”

What the hell?

I pull my body up and stand in the scalding shower for almost the full thirty minutes. My opponent today, David Pontas, is pretty skilled. I’ve been watching his fights for a week, ever since we found out who I’d be fighting. It’s going to be tough but not impossible.

As I make
my way to the lobby in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt I spot my sister standing with Jimmy and Jackson. They’re waiting at the entrance to the hotel restaurant. When I walk up, another figure is just walking up behind Trinity. First I notice Trinity’s uneasy stance, her hands fidgeting and her mouth in a nervous line. My eyes slide to the reason. Parker Harris is a foot behind her, seeming to wait and see what I am going to do. My glare moves from Parker to Jimmy and Jackson, both smirking at the whole situation.

“Fuck no
, Trin, he’s not eating with us.” The air leaves me in a rush.

Her arms move to her
chest, crossing in defiance. “Grey, get over it. Parker
is
eating with us because I have something to tell you.”

I look
from her determined face to Parker. His is a blank slate, revealing nothing.

With a surge I move
into the restaurant, my anger surfacing, unsure I’ll be able to control my fist.

A hostess seats us
. Jimmy and Jackson each take a seat on either side of me as if I might be a threat. I’d like nothing more than to leap across the table and knock Parker out. I restrain myself though, knowing a time in the future will come when I’ll get a chance. All thoughts about how it will affect Trinity are out the door now. The tool deserves an ass beating.

“Greylan, did you hear me?”

“What, Trinity?” I bark at her.

She looks taken aback but recovers quickly
. “I had dinner with Parker last night and we talked about stuff.” She grabs Parker’s hand. A tilt of a smile forms on Parker’s lip, causing me to shift in the chair. Jackson places his hand on my arm, readying to restrain me.

“What the hell, Jax? I’m not gonna beat his ass
right
now
. I can control myself, believe it or not. But,”—I lean in, staring only at Parker—“there will come a time, and you can bet that I’ll make him regret any of this shit he put Trinity through.”

Trinity’s voice cuts through
. “Greylan, just chill. Parker and I decided that we’re going to move here. It just makes sense now that I let him explain it all. I jumped to conclusions before and acted ridiculous and childish.”

“Are those your words or his
, Trin?” I hiss at her.

A breath huffs out as I rest my chin on my hand and order
a whiskey when the waitress approaches the table. Jackson interjects, “Ah, not today, Champ, it’s fight day.”

I throw my
hands in the air, frustrated by everything. I spend the entire breakfast either glaring at Parker or pissed off at the whole Mollie situation. When we leave the table, Trinity pulls me aside and whispers, “Hey, I thought you were going to get your head straight.”

“I never promised that
, Trin, and anyway, it’s better this way.”

“Are you sure about that? You’ve always used the anger
, but what if something else creeps in when you’re in there? What if you don’t know how to deal with it?”

I glance
over at Parker and back to Trinity. “I think today is a day that you don’t have to worry about the anger going away.” I walk away before she can talk me out of it. I need to hold onto all of this rage.

As five
o’clock approaches I leave for the venue with Trinity. Parker made some lame excuse about needing to take care of something. I’m fine with that.

“Greylan, I know this has been a tough year. I mean
, actually the past six have been rough, but please let all of that go tonight. Do what you came here to do. I know you can. And please know that I am so proud to be your sister.” Trinity says.

I squeeze her into my side and kiss
her head. No words are necessary to tell her how much those words mean to me. I would do anything for this kid.

The room is filling quickly with a
different crowd than I’m accustomed to. Many of the people sitting in the chairs around the cage are dressed up. The chatter is more subdued, not screaming expletives like back in Jersey. I move with Trinity to a row of five chairs at the threshold of the cage. A reserved sign stretches the length and Parker is sitting comfortably on one end, his arm draped across the chair beside him. He stands when we approach. His hand darts out in a gesture of a handshake. I ignore it and lean in to Trinity’s ear, “Are you sure you want to watch from here?”

She nods her head v
igorously and doubt forms in my middle. But Parker takes her hand and she seems to relax. I turn to find the locker rooms or holding rooms as they’re called here, and she calls out, “Grey, kick his ass.”

My lips move in a smirk
.

When I
enter, I’m shocked to find that I have a room designated only for me and my team. Jackson and Jimmy are already there, both as serious as I’ve ever seen them. I walk over and begin changing into my shorts. I lift the shirt over my head as Jackson runs his hands together in anticipation.

“I saw Pon
tas before we came in here, he’s smaller than he makes out on screen,” Jackson informs me.

My feet shift as I look back over my shoulder
, my brows rising up in surprise. The tenor of Jackson’s voice gives away his fear.

“Hey
, Jax, it’s all good. I’m ready for this.”

Jimmy
, who’s been quiet with his legs crossed sitting in the corner, pipes up, “Yeah, Jax, take a load off, our boy has this.”

Jackson sha
kes his head. “I’m out, see you at the cage.” He looks at me, squinting to make sure I’m in. More than anything, I am. I’ve waited to get to this point my whole life.

When Jackson is gone
, Jimmy stands and grabs my arm to make sure he has my full attention.

“Hey, I spoke to Meyer.”

“Shit, Jimmy, can this wait?’

He shakes his head, a warning glance running through his face.

I relent. “Fine.”

“It’s
a little more complicated than I had originally thought. We accepted this fight so we have our hands tied a little.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means Meyer is still involved and I can’t do anything about that at the moment.”

I nod
, not really caring. Meyer being involved isn’t the end of the world. But it means that he’s possibly here and
she
might be as well. Fuck. I move a hand over my rough chin.

The announcer breaks through my
thoughts, introducing Pontas. Jimmy walks across the room, leading me out. My heart speeds, balling up all of the energy flowing through my body. My name echoes through the room as I step up to the opened cage door. A referee is standing in the middle of the mat, all dressed in black. I glance at Pontas across the cage. He’s moving back and forth on the toes of his feet. His build is smaller as Jackson pointed out. The scowl on his face is real, though. My head moves, glancing to the side, meeting Jackson’s stare He smiles reassuringly and nods. As my eyes move back around, I meet Trinity’s eyes in the front row. She looks scared, but she squares her shoulders for my benefit. My glance moves along the other chairs, which are full. A greying older man dressed in a suit is sitting next to Trinity. Further down I see Meyer and Mollie. My heart falters when our eyes meet. Quickly I look away.

Ja
ckson’s voice floats over to me. “Use it, Grey. Get angry.”

The whistle sounds an
d Pontas is on me. His hands are on my biceps, squeezing. Angling forward, I push into Pontas. His footing gives, allowing me to press him into the side of the cage. It shakes with the impact. Pontas uses it as leverage, lowering his body, forcing his shoulder into my stomach. My hands move up to his shoulders, which gives him the chance to slam me backward. I hit the mat with my back, knocking the wind out of my lungs. I hear my sister’s scream as my body hits. Quickly I move to the side, avoiding the pin Pontas is aiming for. I come up on my knees and he moves around me. His arms come up, trying to get me in a choke hold, but my legs scoot and I land on my feet. I use the moment to land a rounded kick to Pontas’ side, causing him to double over as my body moves behind him. My arms dart out along his jaw. Pontas’ arm flashes up and over his head, trying to get out of the hold. I know at this moment that it’s more than likely a tap out won’t happen. This is going to be decision or time limit. I pull the other man into my lap as he hits the mat and wrap my legs around him from the back, clenching his arms tighter. Pontas’ chest heaves for air but he refuses to tap out. A minute later the whistle rings, ending the round. I release the other man, allowing him to scurry away, breathing heavily and trying to regain his bearings. He glares at me and spits into the air. I move over to Jackson for a drink of water. My eyes meet Trinity’s and I smile to assure her but I can tell her nerves are shot already. I doubt she’ll make it the whole fight. I smirk, scanning the rest of them. Red is looking directly at me, almost pleading with her eyes. I shake my head and shift, looking across the mat again. The referee announces the decision, I am the winner of the round.

The whistle blows and I surge
forward. I attempt a rounded kick but Pontas blocks it. He crouches lower, aiming for my stomach again. This time I’m ready. I move, avoiding much of the impact, and follow with a rounded punch to his side. He turns, coming at me with a flourish of punching. A few get through, hitting my ribs in the wrong spot. I wince at the contact and turn away, regretting that one tiny move. Pontas’ arm wraps around me from the back, pushing me down onto the mat. I land on my side and attempt to roll but Pontas pins me. I twist in the other man’s grip but know it’s futile. Most likely I won’t come out of this pin. A whistle signals that time’s up and the decision is in Pontas’ favor.
Fuck.

This time I
tromp to my corner as Jackson delivers an onslaught of curses.
Dammit, I know.
My lips tighten in anger.

This is the one
…the signal rings. I’m on Pontas in an instant. My fist balls, delivering successive blows to his side. I can tell it has my desired effect. I place a hand at his neck, pushing him while he’s trying to recover. He attempts to land a kick on me but I deflect the impact and pull Pontas down to the mat. I mount him, hitting the favored spot once again. A moment later as I’m ready to hold the pin, Pontas taps the mat. I jump to my feet, looking at the judges. They deliberate a moment before delivering their decision to the referee. He announces, “Greylan Pace gets the decision.”

Air rushes to my lungs as I collapse to the mat. My hands brace in front of me
, feeling for the first time in a long while the rush only this can bring me. When I look up, Red is staring with a smile. She mouths, “Congratulations.”

I look
at Jackson as I stand and my trainer comes onto the mat, holding my hand up to more applause. My head bows as I turn to my sister. She waves in complete excitement. I was wrong after all, she made it.
No regrets.