Nobody Likes Fairytale Pirates (39 page)

The wiry man used the distraction
to deliver a spin kick to Uriah’s face, cutting his cheek and staggering him
back.  The man tried the same move again, but Uriah swept his support leg out
from under him, sending him to the ground.  Before the man could rise, Uriah
delivered a kick to his face, knocking him to the salt again.

The huge man arrived on the scene, pressing
forward and swinging at Uriah again.  Uriah ducked under it and punched the man
in the gut, but it was like punching a mountain and had little effect other
than hurting Uriah’s hand.

The man simply laughed, backhanding
Uriah and sending him sprawling.  The blow knocked the wind out of him and it
took him a moment to recover.

The wiry man jumped forward,
intending to drive his knee into Uriah’s prone form, but instead Uriah kicked
as the man came in for a landing, catching him between the legs and causing the
man to howl with pain.  Uriah sprang back up and decked him, breaking the man’s
nose.

He turned to check on his partner.

She had apparently remembered more
of the Adithian school of combat, which consisted of elbows, knees and elegant
but devastating kicks.  It was like watching a dancer take someone apart, one
move flowing into the next, keeping the man forever on the defensive.  At the
extreme close quarters required by her disability, there wasn’t much the heavyset
man could do but try to block the worst of it and attempt to keep his distance.

Ransom punched her opponent in the
stomach and the men brought his hands down to protect his midsection, at which
point she punched him in the throat.  He made a gasping sound and struggled to
breath.  She used the distraction to jump up and smash her elbow downward into
his face, stunning him.  She repeated the blow several more times, swearing
fluently in Adithian.  The man staggered backwards from the attack, finally
bringing his arms up to shield himself and block her blows.  The move required
him to brace his legs though and she knew it.  She stomped downward on the side
of his knee as he turned to move away from her, breaking his leg with a
sickening snap.

The man screamed in rage and pain. 
He grabbed for her with his unbroken arm, his fingers wrapping around her delicate
throat in an effort to choke her.  Which was a very serious mistake.  Ransom’s only
weakness was that she couldn’t see him.  And he’d just let her know right where
he was.  She grabbed his wrist and forearm, and twisted his arm the side, using
his own momentum against him.  She stepped up onto his one good leg and used it
to climb onto his shoulders.

Uriah’s gaze cut back to his own
opponent and the small blade at his waist.  He grabbed for it as the man stood
up, then whistled twice, tossing it underhand to his partner.  She caught it in
one hand and slammed it into the heavyset man’s chest from her position on his
shoulders.  She kept stabbing him as the man fell and she neatly stepped off of
him as he collapsed into a bloody heap at her feet.

It was now two against two.  And
Uriah liked those odds.  Only one person had even beaten him when the odds were
even and she was currently on his team.

This was going to be a
real
fight.

And Uriah didn’t lose fights.

Uriah kicked the wiry man in the
ribs, knocking him down, just as the huge man barreled in to backhand Uriah
again, causing him to see stars.

He spat out a mouthful of blood
onto the salt, cursing to himself.

He wasn’t going to be able to make
too many more blows like that.

Right on schedule, the wiry acrobat
fellow arrived, kicking Uriah several times as he tried to get to his feet. 
Uriah grabbed a handful of salt and tossed it into his opponent’s face, and the
man stumbled back, momentarily blinded.  Uriah used the distraction and his
position to elbow him in the side of the knee, followed by an immediate elbow
in the face as Uriah jumped back to his feet.  Uriah ducked out of the way as
Ransom swung her opponent’s club a split-second later from behind Uriah,
shielded from the man’s view by Uriah’s body until it was too late for the man
to dodge.  She missed Uriah’s head by inches, but connected hard enough with
the wiry man to take the top of his skull off and splatter gore several feet
away.

Uriah wasn’t entirely sure how he’d
known she was behind him or how she’d known he would duck out of the way in
time, but he didn’t question what worked.

The wiry chap fell and wouldn’t be
getting up again.  Ever.

It was now two against one.  And
Uriah liked those odds even
more
.

Their attention turned in unison to
the huge man, who looked furious.  He charged forward and Uriah tried hitting
him again, but the man was still far too large for his blows to have much
effect.  All he managed to do was split the Wastelander’s lip, which only made
him madder. 

Ransom swung the club, but the man
simply caught it and effortlessly yanked it from her hands.

Uriah hit the man’s wrist, getting
him to drop the weapon, then put everything he had into his follow-up punch,
smashing the man’s face and knocking out one of his teeth.

The large man hit him in the
stomach with one huge fist, and Uriah doubled over, falling to his knees. 
“Up!”  He shouted to his partner.

Ransom dashed forward, using
Uriah’s back as a springboard to launch herself into the air and knee the man
in the face, breaking his jaw.  She hit the ground and ducked to the side, as
Uriah connected with an uppercut a second later from behind her, dislocating
the man’s jaw completely.

Ransom flipped open the jackknife
she carried, twirling it in her hand and striking at the man.  The man blocked
each of her half-dozen moves with his forearm, keeping the blade from
connecting.  She moved to strike again, but as her hand moved towards her foe,
she simply dropped the knife so that Uriah caught it an instant later, while
she feigned an attack.  The man had not been expecting that and was caught
complete off-guard.  Uriah caught the blade and slammed it upwards into the
man’s chest in one motion, twisting it and trying to use it as a handhold to
bring the man down.

But their huge opponent just shook
it off, and kicked Uriah in the stomach, sending him tumbling head over heels. 
When Uriah finally landed, it felt like he was about to cough up his own guts
and the stitches on his chest had all popped open.  Blood was now oozing from
his chest rapidly and the wound was filling with salt.  The pain was
excruciating, but Uriah ignored it.

He hadn’t been hit that hard in a
long, long time.

The man pulled back his fist to
finish Ransom off.

“Left!”  Uriah shouted in warning,
trying to stand.

His partner dodged the blow, doing
a graceful backflip which somehow kicked the man in the face.

All in all, it was a pretty
impressive move, really.  Uriah sure as hell couldn’t have pulled it off.  Unfortunately,
it had even less effect than Uriah’s attacks had and the man swung at her
again.

“Right!”  Uriah called out.

But there wasn’t time for his
partner to both land and to dodge this time, and the man absolutely leveled
her, knocking her aside with his huge fist.  She slid face first across the
salt, obviously hurt.  Bad.

She tried to get back up onto her
hands and knees, then collapsed. 

The man kicked her in the ribs hard
enough to knock her across the ground again.

Uriah swore and raced towards the
man, too angry to think of a plan.

The man heard him coming and turned
to hit him, but Uriah didn’t give him the chance.  He delivered a drop kick,
jumping up to slam both of his feet into the center of the man’s chest.  The
man staggered back and Ransom hit the back of his legs from her position on the
ground, toppling their huge opponent to the salt.

Uriah was on him before he could
recover, striking at the man’s face with punch after punch.  The attack was
proving more effective than Uriah’s previous efforts, but the man was still
struggling to stand.

Uriah grabbed him in a headlock,
using his full weight in an effort to keep the man bent down, while continuing
to pummel his head.  If the man straightened, the fight was over.  He’d kill
them both.  There was nothing Uriah and Ransom could do against someone that
size.  It was like fighting a goddamn ogre!

“Wrap him up!”  Uriah cried to his
partner, straining against the man’s incredible strength to hold him in place.

Uriah ducked as Ransom’s leg gracefully
passed over his head to wrap around their opponent’s throat, so that she was
essentially sitting on the man’s shoulders while he was bent down.  Uriah let
go of the man and kicked him in the side to knock him over, while Ransom
continued to turn so that her body pulled the man over with her as she fell
onto the ground, both of them looking up at the sky.  She locked her muscular
legs around the man’s neck, keeping him pinned in a chokehold with the triangle
created by her thighs and calf. 

Short of cutting off her legs, the
man wasn’t getting out of that from his current position.

The man struggled futilely to free
himself, clawing at her legs, but once she arched her back on the salt, the
leverage was all hers and there wasn’t much he could do but flail like a fish
in a net.  Unless he got to his feet, he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Break it!”  Uriah punched the man
in the groin as hard as he could in an effort to keep the huge man from getting
up, then grabbed his legs, trying to hold them still as the man struggled to
find traction in the loose salt.  He wouldn’t be able to keep him in place for
long.  The man was simply too strong.  “You break it! 
Break his fucking
neck!
”

Ransom began cursing as she
strained her muscles to their limit, then twisted to the side, snapping the
man’s neck between her legs.

The struggling ceased.

Uriah let out a sigh of relief and
straightened, his hands shaking with adrenaline and exhaustion.

His partner pushed the man’s corpse
away, then got back to her feet, running a hand through her hair.  “We in
trouble?”

He looked around to check on their
opponents.  “We’re clear.  Three down.”

“Hat trick.”  She smiled, obviously
pleased.  “Now steal yourself a new boot from one of their corpses.”  She
teased.  “I know you want to.”

He held out his palm without
looking and his partner slapped it in a celebratory high five.  He wasn’t
certain how she knew he was holding up his hand or how she managed to hit it
dead on, but that merely added to their feeling of self-satisfaction.  When
they were on the same page, they could achieve anything.

“First rule of piracy…”

“…
don’t
fuck with pirates.” 
She finished for him.  “Blood and fucking Treasure, Captain!”

“Damn straight.”  He turned to look
at the two remaining Wastelanders.  “Gentlemen.”  He calmly gestured to the grisly
scene.  “In case you weren’t keeping score…”

“…or considering the audience, that
you can’t count that high…”  Ransom added.

“…so far, the ‘swamprat’ and the
‘blind whore’ are four-for-four.”

“Go team.”

Uriah shook his head, taking on a
pitying tone.  “Your numbers are dwindling…”

“…poor showing, really…”

“…while two-thirds of
our
party hasn’t even joined the fight yet.”  He pointed at Ryle and their clients. 
“So, I think the question becomes…”

“…
who’s fucking next!?!
” 
Ransom shouted, spreading out her arms in challenge.

The Wastelanders were silent.

“Anyone?  Hands?”  He looked down
at her.  “Odd.  A minute ago, they were talking
all kinds
of tough,
weren’t they, Dove?”

“Prancing around like they were the
ultimate badasses.”

“But now they’re strangely quiet,
have you noticed?”

“Yep.”  She nodded.

“Funny how that works.”

“Isn’t it though?”

He took on a thoughtful
expression.  “But on the other hand, it
does
explain why we had never
heard of them.”

“No one remembers halfway crooks.” 
She said, her tone filled with derision, believing the men to be frauds and
having vastly overstated their abilities as fighters. 

“Indeed, I’m told that ‘it’s all or
nothing.’”  He nodded.  “Now who was it that told me that again?”

“I don’t remember them.”

“Still… looks like we’re the
Meanest.”  They said in unison.  “Yes.”  They pointed at each other, drawing
the Wastelanders’ attention to the other’s statement and claiming it as their
own.  “Yes.  Precisely that.”

“The weird ‘hive mind’ thing you two
have going on sometimes is starting to scare the shit out of me.”  Ryle told no
one in particular.  “I’m legit afraid right now.  Truly.”

Uriah ignored that, stepping
forward even closer to the remaining Wastelanders.  “Now, like I was saying
before that unpleasantness with your newly departed companions… I’ve had a
real
bad week.”  His gaze burned into theirs.  “
Take us to The Lord of Salt
.”

Ransom put her cheek in her hand,
trying to tune out Dory’s ramblings.  She’d never been particularly close to
the woman, but since Ransom’s memories had returned, she found her more
annoying than ever.

“I named my cat ‘Sara’ after my
sister.”  The woman continued babbling.  “She has a family up in Tougia.  She’s
a doctor.”

“She sounds like a very accomplished
cat.”  Ransom deadpanned, then raised her voice so that Uriah could hear her. 
“Can we go yet?  Please?”

Dory fell into silence.

Ransom frowned, recognizing that
she’d gone too far.  She silently cursed herself.  It wasn’t like the girl had
that great a life.  Everyone she knew was short with her and treated her like
dirt.  The last thing she needed was Ransom being mean to her too.

Plus, Uriah had just almost gotten
them all killed to protect the girl.  He wouldn’t like it if she made the girl
cry or whatever.

More than that though… it was
another example of Ransom becoming someone she didn’t want to be.

The memories were making her slip
away.  She could feel it.

She cleared her throat.  “That…
that was a joke.”  She told the woman, smiling slightly.  “You know?  A cat
that’s a doctor?”

Dory was quiet for another beat
then broke out in loud nervous laughter, obviously both relieved and thrilled
with the explanation.  “Ha!  A cat that’s a doctor!”  She repeated, finding the
concept hilarious.  Or probably just so happy that someone wasn’t making fun of
her that she’d laugh at anything.  “That’s a good one!”

“Yeeeeah…”  Ransom drew out,
uncertain how to go about ending their conversation.  “I need to go talk to my
partner for a minute, okay?”

“He’s such a nice man.”  Dory told
her conversationally.  “I know my mother doesn’t like him, but I think he’s
wonderful
.”

“Uh-huh.”  Ransom’s smile faded,
remembering why she disliked the woman.

Uriah had said Dory was
attractive.  And Ransom could tell her voice was as soft and gentle as a cloud.

Ransom
didn’t
like the
thought of such a woman thinking Uriah was “wonderful.”

“And he obviously cares for you
so.”  Dory cooed, apparently imagining all sorts of romantic nonsense in her
empty head.  “I think it’s just so beautifully romantic.”

“Yeah.”  Ransom started off to look
for Uriah.  “We’re something alright.”

She made her way out of the tent,
using her hand to follow the fabric wall towards where she knew the door was. 
The interior of the shelter smelled of leather treated with some kind of biological
process Ransom couldn’t identify, but it wasn’t an altogether pleasant smell. 
It was heavy and stale, and as it mixed with the smoke from the large fire, it
made the tent very uncomfortable for her.

She found her partner standing outside,
either guarding the entrance or just trying to put more space between himself
and their clients.  Knowing him, he could have also been planning to start his
stupid “How many wooden poles can I fight?” test, which he still engaged in
compulsively.

But at least she was outside.  Ransom
very much preferred the open air to the tent.  Yes, it was cold and the air was
thin, but she found it much more comfortable outside, both because she could
escape the smell of the tent and because that’s where Uriah was.  She was
always more comfortable when he was around.

“That was nice of you.”  He said
softly, not turning to face her, his voice sounding like he was looking at
something on the horizon.

“Well, the kid has enough problems
with her family.”  She shrugged, crossing her arms to keep warm as a cold
breeze whipped across the salt.  “She’s flighty, but seems okay.”  She was
silent for a moment.  “I just… I got short with her.”

“I noticed.  But don’t worry. 
She’s tougher than she looks.”

“And to be fair, I’ve never really
liked dealing with people, you know that.”  She defended, cutting off his
observation about her recent behavior before he lodged it.

“I know that.”

“And she is
really
annoying.”

He didn’t reply.

She frowned slightly.  “Are you mad
at me about something?”

“I’m just waiting until we can get
underway again.  I want to get to Nar Ta’Tel.”

“If it’s even there.”  She
scoffed.  “I’ve never seen you so dead-set on treasure before, ‘Rai.  You’re
usually all ‘life is a journey’ and whatever.”

“I have plans for that treasure.” 
He said cryptically.

“And will I be made privy to these
plans at some point?”

“Depends on whether they work out
or not.”

“How about you tell me now.”  She
put her hands on her hips to show she was serious.  “Because you’re risking our
lives for this.”

“You know what?”  His voice sounded
annoyed, and his feet shuffled as he turned to face her.  “I carried you
barefoot for thirty miles, through a desert of salt.  I’ve killed four men
today.” 

“Technically, you only killed one
of them, I was…”  She began but he didn’t give her the chance to finish.

“I haven’t slept for four days.” 
He continued, talking over her.  “Haven’t eaten in three and the last time I
had a drink of water was on Thursday.  To top it off, I’m about to go threaten
a barbarian king so I can get back to searching for a lost city made of solid
silver.”  He stepped closer to her.  “Like I told those guys… I’ve had a bad
week.  And I’m getting sick of evasions from you about what happened to you. 
I’ve never asked you for
anything
, Ransom.” 

“Well…”  She began, about to make a
correction.

“Okay,” he admitted, “I asked for
you to show me when you…”

“Yep, I remember.”  She
interrupted, remembering what it felt like to climax in his arms.  “I don’t
want to talk about it right now.”  Thinking about sex with him just made the
trip unbearable.  She didn’t want to be here, in the middle of a desert, in
some smelly tent.  She wanted to be off somewhere, alone with him.  His hands
on her…

Not even her confusion over her
memories was enough to change that.  Her past might make it more awkward and
difficult to begin, but nothing could make her not want him.

“I’ve always trusted that you have
reasons for everything you do and I’ve let you have your space.  But I’m asking
now.”  He leaned down to her, his voice tight.  “Please.  I want to know what’s
going on.”

“With what?”  She breathed, trying
to stall.

He didn’t reply, seeing right
through her.

She cleared her throat, trying to
garner her courage.  “I’m… I’m her daughter.”  She croaked out, her voice
wavering.

“Whose?  The Empress?  You’re a
princess?”  He sounded amazed.

“Apparently.”  She shrugged.

“For real?”

“So I’m told.”

“If you’re just fucking with me
right now…”

“I’m not.”  She shook her head.  “God,
I wish I were.”

“Hold on…”  A new thought evidently
occurred to him.  “Are you really that saintly dead princess everyone on the
island is obsessed with?”  He snapped his fingers, trying to think of the name. 
“What’s her name… what’s her name… ‘
Karen’
?”

She didn’t reply.

“That’s it, isn’t it?”  He pressed. 
“You’re that girl and that’s why they want you dead.  Because you tried to stop
them from being the evil shits that they are.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 
She sniffed.  “Can’t we please talk about something else?”

“No.”  He sounded definite.  “I
think we need to talk about this.”

“Do I press you for all the details
of
your
life, ‘Rai?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, I do not!”  She swatted at
him.  “You’re such a liar!”

“Please tell me.”  He said softly. 
“It’ll be okay.”

She really didn’t want to tell him.

“It’ll change things.”  She tried
to explain, her voice on the verge of panic.  “You don’t understand.  It won’t
be the same anymore.”

He was silent for a long moment. 
“Are you married?” 

“No, that’s not…”  She began.

“Oh, thank God.”  He let out a long
breath, as if he’d been holding it for a while.  He literally staggered back in
relief.  “That’s really the only thing I’d care about.  Killing your
hypothetical husband would be so awkward.”

“Yeah, poor you.”  She said
sarcastically, swatting at him again.  “You don’t… you don’t understand.  You
don’t want to know this, Uriah.  You really don’t.” 

“No,
you
don’t want to know
this.”  He corrected.  “I’m fine with anything, just so long as you stay with
me.”  He snorted in dismissal.  “I honestly don’t care that you were some
perfect little airhead princess, trying to bring freedom to her crazy fucking
island and its band of lunatic Gardeners.  Those people are psychotic.”

She swallowed, trying not to cry.  “Jinshu.” 
She whispered. 

“What?”

“It’s a name.”  She told him.

“What kind of name is that?” 

“It… it used to be mine.”

“Oh.”  He straightened.  “Do… do
you want me to start…”

“No.”  She said immediately,
recognizing what his question was going to be.  She
didn’t
want him to
start calling her that.

“Good.  Because that’d take some
getting used to.” 

“I like ‘Ransom.’”  She agreed. 
“Please don’t ever call me anything else.  That girl isn’t me anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”  She sat down on a log
by the door.  “I-I remember who I was, Uriah.  And I don’t really like her.” 
She shook her head.  “I wasn’t a good person.” 

“That can’t be true.”  He assured
her.  “You’re the kindest and most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“I forced my sister to wear red hot
iron shoes and dance in them until she died.”  She told him flatly.

He was utterly silent for a moment…
then broke out laughing.  He put his head back and positively cackled in
delight.

“This is serious!”  She yelled at
him, slapping at his shoulder in annoyance.

“If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be so
funny!”  He snorted in amusement, trying to keep from losing it again.  “One
quick question though…”

“
Don’t
.”

“Just tell me what song you made
her dance to and...”

She swatted at him again.  “Dammit,
‘Rai!”  She lowered her face.  “I’m serious here.  Please…”  She trailed off,
her voice tight.  “Just…”

He softly swore at himself, obviously
recognizing the fact that she was really upset.  “I’m an asshole, Dove.”  He
put his arm around her.  “And I find amusement in terrible things.  But I’ll
always be on your side, you know that.”  He made a genuine effort to hide his
delight, but failed.  “Even if you’re killing off your siblings in cruel but
unintentionally
hilarious
ways.” 

“I’m not Karen, the perfect
princess fighting to free my people.”  She shook her head.  “I’m the bloodthirsty
monster who trained the Gardeners to
kill
her.  And then did it myself,
in the cruelest way I could think of.  Because that’s who I am.”

He made a dismissive sound, utterly
unconcerned about her nightmarish identity for some reason.  “Meh.”

“I’m not a good person.”

“Good people do bad things
sometimes.”  He still sounded completely blasé about the whole thing. 
“Besides, you had a bad upbringing.  It was probably on the orders of your
wonderful mother.”

“Nope.”  She shook her head. 
“Quite the opposite.  She told me not to.  It was just about… Karen pissed me
off.  Always acting so perfect and whiney and annoying.  And everyone loved
her.  That hurt my pride.  So I hurt
her
.  And my mother wasn’t happy
about it.  She said that Karen was hers to deal with as she saw fit.  She
thought it was an attempt to usurp her authority, which to be fair, it kind of
was.  She wasn’t very happy with me anyway because she thought that people were
beginning to think of me as the ‘pretty one,’ so she…”

“…decided to eat your heart.”  He
finished for her.  “And she used her connections in the pirate world to get the
job done so her hands would remain clean.”

“I’ve been hunting pirates and
thieves my whole life.  It comes with the job as Captain of the Gardeners.” 
She swallowed, trying to keep her voice steady.  “But she sold me out.  Paid
most of my crew to turn against me.  Told the pirates where I’d be so that they
could plan an ambush.”

“And you
still
almost beat
us.”  Uriah said with obvious pride.  “Have I mentioned lately how impressed I
am with you?”

“I didn’t ‘almost’ win.”  She shook
her head.  “I came nowhere close.”

“I didn’t either.”

“Yeah, you did.  And you were
fighting more of them.  Alone.”

“I think…”  He began.

“I don’t care.”  She cut him off. 
“I’m… I’m glad it happened.  I’m glad I didn’t win that fight.”  She let out a
long breath, her voice breaking.  “I don’t like who I was.  I don’t want her
life.  She wasn’t a good person.  If I’d won that fight, I wouldn’t have met
you and I’d still be her.”  She put her face in her hands.  “Please don’t let
me turn into that, Uriah.  I don’t want to be like her and I can feel it
happening.  I can feel myself returning to her way of thinking and…”  She
swallowed.  “If… if it looks to you like I’m forgetting who I am and becoming
her… please just…”

He snorted in complete dismissal
again.  “Yeah, I’m not doing that.”

“
Promise me
, you won’t let
me become her, Uriah.”

“That’s not going to happen.”  He
insisted.  “I don’t give a shit what you’re doing, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I don’t want to be her.  I want to
be me.”

“Then be you.”  He sat down on the
log beside her. 

“My entire life, you’re the only
person I could ever really talk to.”  She admitted.  “Be… be myself with.  Do
you have any idea what that’s like?  Spending your whole life on guard around
everyone?  Always afraid they’ll attack when your back is turned or use
something you tell them against you?  Never… never feeling safe?”