Notes from the Life of a Total Genius (3 page)

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: September 14, 14:41

Dear Kennedy,

I’m glad that the carnival went pretty well. I didn’t really get a chance to see any of it, since I was the only person working my booth the whole time. And your “secret source” is right. I did eat the last Rice Krispie square without paying for it. I never got a chance to eat dinner, and it was the last one and the carnival had already closed, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. I was so hungry! I didn’t know that you had spies watching! You must know EVERYTHING that happens in the school hahaha!

Did you want me to pay for the Rice Krispie square? Do you want help writing your article?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: September 14, 16:20

Hi Arthur!

OF COURSE NOT! You don’t have to pay for it! I just wanted to check up!

I DO have spies everywhere! So you better watch your step LOL! One false move, and you’re OFF the friend list LOL!

I already wrote the article today! I wanted to get it done because Jerry’s having an awesome birthday party tonight! It’s Disney themed LOL! Can’t wait to go!!

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

Sent: September 17, 11:43

Dear Robbie,

How did the football tryouts go? When will you find out? I still can’t believe you want to be on the football team. I thought you were going to focus on art this year! Speaking of which, I can get you a spot doing a comic strip for the
Marathon
. I called it “The Out of Towners” so that you can draw it, but no one will know it was you. It will be brilliant. I can tell you all the gossip around the school and then you can make fun of it in your comic.

This week we got a ton of Math homework. I’m going to be doing it all weekend. But the new Drama teacher, Hark, started a playwright club AND it’s only open to grade nines and a few grade eights. It’s really serious. We’re going to put on our own plays this year! If you were here, we could have totally made Zombie School into a play (it would be better as a play than Von’s dumb movie anyway), but I don’t want to “steal your ideas” (as you like to remind me), so I’m going to do something else. I really thought Kennedy was going to join the group too, but she didn’t. Not that I care, I just thought it was weird. It’s probably for the best. I don’t really want to have to see her all the time anyway. She’s being so bossy at the newspaper meetings. It’s like she thinks she has the final say on everything.

Are you coming back to spend Thanksgiving with your dad? I hope so.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: September 17, 15:04

i find out about the team next week, but i think i made it!

playrites sounds cool. my acting career ended with romeo and juliett. i was a child star whose star faded. HA! besides, my school is putting on a musicall and i am def NOT a singer.

i def dont want to do ur comic strip. if i do any art, it wont be as boring as that sounds. im going to be an art and football star. watch out marshawn lynch! im more talented than u! HA!

im back a round thanksgiving. see u then 4 sure.

Rob

Dear Hark,

Here’s my poem for the performance poetry assignment. What do you think? I wanted to go with something classic at first, but I didn’t know what to do and it all sounded so boring. I thought about using a Jay Z rap song, but Von told me he was doing that. Instead I wrote this over the weekend. Is it OK? I don’t want to sound stupid, especially if everyone else is doing a famous poem and mine is the only one that isn’t famous. Maybe it’s not even all that good. I bet you’ll be honest with me. You seem like the type of guy who would be honest with his students. Anyway, I made sure it didn’t rhyme because I didn’t want it to sound too childish and I looked through all your poetry books and just used their style of free verse.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

I’m No Detective

By Arthur Bean

I’m no detective,

but

I can’t help but notice that you’re around.

Maybe it’s by accident

That you’re close by

That your seat is next to mine

More than it isn’t next to mine

It could just be a coincidence

That I saw you near my house

In the rain

In the nighttime

Under an umbrella

Under a tree

Looking around

Looking lost

It could be a lucky shot

That you were at the restaurant that night

We all know the pizza coupons

Are only good on Thursdays

So of course everyone is there

Everyone who is anyone is there

But maybe

These are clues to something more

Something exciting

Something true

But who am I to say?

I’m no detective.

Hi, Arthur!

First off, I love your poem. It’s fantastic! It’s mysterious and a little creepy, in a really good way. It’s hard to say if your narrator is telling the truth or not. Is he the stalker, or is he being stalked? This is great work. Has anyone ever told you you’re a great writer? This is going to be just perfect; we’ll work on staging it in a way that adds to the mystery of the piece on Thursday in class. This year is going to be great, isn’t it? I really appreciate getting your reflection on the piece too. Let’s keep that up! I like knowing what you’re thinking about when you’re writing. It helps me to understand your intention and help you achieve what you want.

I’m so pleased to have a gang of students who are serious about theatre. This is what teaching is all about. You guys inspire me, you really do!

Hark

Assignment: Reviewing Personification

Imbuing non-living objects with human-like characteristics adds effect and a unique voice to your work. This is called personification, and can be an excellent descriptive technique. Create ten sentences personifying objects you find in your house.

Due: September 23

By Arthur Bean

1. The ice cream in the freezer was calling my name. It cried out in despair, “Eat me, Arthur! Eat me!”

2. The computer stared back at me, blankly.

3. The books on my bookcase squeezed into line to make room for one more.

4. The blanket was snuggled deep into the couch cushions.

5. Even the kitchen held its nose at the smell coming off the garbage can.

6. The kitty litter box begged to be emptied.

7. The lemon puckered its lips in distaste.

8. The corn perked up its ears at the sound of the water boiling.

9. The potato eyed the tinfoil, knowing that it spelled the end of the potato’s life.

10. The cherry felt sad in the pit of his stomach.

Arthur,

You started off very strong, but the last three examples descend into puns rather than personification. You have a keen sense of description, and I’d like to see you challenge yourself this year to use different literary devices to bring your work to a higher level.

Ms Whitehead

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: September 23, 19:50

Hi Arthur!

I was looking over the list of “hot topics” that you brought to the
Marathon
meeting and I want the student body (as much as I HATE that term :)) to feel like it’s really about them. I LOVE your idea of having a creative corner where students can submit their own work in the paper to share it, but do you think they would go for it? Most kids aren’t going to do more writing OUTSIDE of class than they have to.

It’s really about making this the best year ever for the
Marathon
! And it’s so important to me because, don’t tell anyone, but I’m trying to win the school leadership award! They only give one out if there’s a student who REALLY deserves it! So I’m working like Supergirl to win it! It means a lot to me to be recognized as a leader, which sounds SO lame to say, but it’s true! It’s so much work though! I feel like I need to make clones of myself to do all the things I’ve signed up for LOL!

I guess what I want to get across is that the
Marathon
is a REALLY big part of my plan to win!

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: September 23, 21:43

Dear Kennedy,

I didn’t even know there was a leadership award. I think you’d be a great choice for it! I’m happy to help you out on anything that you need. That’s what friends are for, right? Do you want to hang out after school sometime this week? I can help you plan your strategy, and then we can catch up with other people. I can never keep track of stuff happening, I’m invited to so many things!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: September 23, 22:02