Nothing to Lose (30 page)

Sherise looked down at him and placed her hand gently on his head, caressing it. She could see his turmoil. He really let Elena's awful words get to him.

“Do I need to remind you that you didn't do anything wrong?” she asked.

He nodded, reaching his hand out to touch her thigh. It was just a soft touch, just a call for contact.

Sherise bent down and got on her knees. She placed her hands on his lap and looked up at him. “What is it, baby?”

“I know that Elena had no right to do what she did,” he said, “but I don't want to destroy her life.”

“She wanted to destroy yours,” Sherise insisted.
“Ours.”

“I know,” he said, “but she suffered immense pain from something I created.”

“You were doing your job, Justin.”

“You know this isn't the first time something like this has happened,” he said. “I mean, nothing as drastic as someone accidentally killing herself, but—”

“If you could lobby for a bill that couldn't be abused, you would,” Sherise assured him. “You can't control how Congress words a bill.”

“I could have used my influence to make sure there weren't as many loopholes as there were.”

“If you had gotten rid of the loophole Okun used, they would have found another one.” She cupped his chin with her hand. “Justin, you know what you're doing is right. Others abuse lobbying power. You take the cases you believe in.”

“I never really believed in this one,” Justin said. “That's just it. I took this account because Dennis fucked it up. I didn't want it, and I think that's why I didn't give a second thought to how it could be used or abused.”

“So,” Sherise said, “from now on, you make sure that you only accept causes that you believe in. No more leftovers from assholes like Dennis.”

“I don't think you're hearing me,” Justin said.

“Then make it clear to me,” she said softly. “I'm listening.”

He looked at her with uncertain eyes for a moment before saying, “I don't know if I want to stay with the firm. They've made it clear they want me back, but this experience has changed me. Not just what Elena put me through, but their lack of faith in me. I don't have the passion, especially not for that firm.”

“Then you join another one,” Sherise said. “Or better yet, you open your own firm. You have so many clients and you have tons of clout on Capitol Hill.”

“You'd support that?” he asked.

“It's what you want, isn't it?” she asked.

“I think . . . I think it is, but I thought it would be impossible right now. Especially with the baby coming.”

“I'd support you, no matter what. We'll do great, as long as we're happy and doing what we want. Just because you support a family doesn't mean you don't get to be happy. We'll make it work. I'm here for you, baby.”

He took her cheeks in his hands and smiled proudly. “
This
girl.
This
is the girl I married—the one who made me feel invincible. I can't believe I almost lost her.”

“Never.” Sherise felt her eyes welling up with tears. She loved him so much. God, had she almost lost him? She shuddered at the thought. Never again.

 

Alex swung the front door to his mother's house open just as Erica reached the top step. Immediately she looked at his expression and saw a mixture of complete despair and anger.

“Get in,” he ordered as he stepped aside.

She stepped into the house, looking around. It didn't look like anyone else was there.

“What the hell is going on?” Erica asked. “You send me these frantic texts, with ten exclamation points, telling me I have to come over right now. What is so wrong?”

“You're not going to believe this shit.” His voice held a dark anger, with sadness coming through in flints.

“Is it Terrell?” she asked. “He got on a bus to Houston last night. I don't think Jonah is going to go—”

“No!” Alex yelled.

Erica jumped. “What's wrong with you?”

He pointed to the sofa against the wall with one hand as he ran the other through his hair.

Sitting down, Erica took him in and realized that he was still wearing the same clothes he'd worn when she'd left him from this very place yesterday. His eyes were bloodshot red. Had he not gotten any sleep? Had he been drinking?

“Were you crying?” she asked.

“I was.” He fell onto the sofa beside her.

Erica was deeply affected as she watched him lean over and place his face in his hands.

“Fuck,” he said. “Fuck. Fuck.”

She reached out and placed her hand on his back. “Alex, please tell me what's going on.”

He finally looked up. “Jonah didn't want us together. He told me a couple of times to stay clear of you. He told you as well, right?”

She nodded. “What Jonah wants doesn't matter. I quit, Alex. I'm not working for him anymore. I'm not going to have a relationship with him. I don't care if he is my—”

“After you and Terrell left,” he said, “my mother and I really got into it. I mean, she lost it. Terrell really told her too much, but it didn't matter.”

“She obviously doesn't like Jonah,” Erica said.

Alex let out a dark laugh. “No shit. This has been brewing between my mother and me ever since I went to work for him.”

Erica was searching hard for something comforting to say, even though she had no idea what was really going on.

“She used to work for his family,” she said. “Maybe he wasn't nice to her. He's kind of a snob. Or maybe you working for him just reminds her of her life as a maid. She might want to forget that. She's moved on, and—”

“She wrote the comment,” Alex said.

Erica was speechless.

“I can't believe I didn't even suspect it,” he added. “She's always talking about those local gossip sites.”

“Why would she . . . Oh, my . . . and she lives close to Terrell. So when they traced it, they just assumed it was from him.”

“He knows by now, I'm sure,” Alex said. “I haven't gone into work. He's been calling me nonstop. I'm sure he'll send someone over soon.”

Erica looked around the room.

“She's not here,” Alex said. “She's meeting with her lawyer.”

“Her lawyer?” Erica asked, doubtful that Jonah would try to sue his family's former maid. It didn't look good. “Why would she write that? How does she know about—”

“It's not about you,” Alex said. “She was talking about herself.”

“Oh, my God,” Erica said as she realized what Alex was saying. “Jonah had an affair with your mother?”

“Just after he was married,” he answered. “My . . . Her husband had just died and she was staying with his sister because being home just made her think of losing him.”

“Jonah took advantage of her.” Erica's anger was bubbling over. “How could he?”

“She said they slept together three times, tops,” Alex said. “But when she told him she was pregnant, he threatened her.”

“When she . . .”

Erica suddenly felt as if an elephant had stomped on her chest. The realization was so hard that she actually fell back against the sofa, letting out a huge gasp. Then she suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

“No,” she said. “No.”

“My mother was scared to death,” he said. “She knew how much money and power Jonah had, especially now that he was married to Juliet.”

“No,” she said again. “Alex, it can't be true.”

“He paid her one hundred thousand dollars,” Alex continued. “That's why my mother was able to stop being a maid and get an education. He paid her and he threatened her.”

“Alex!” Erica grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Focus! Are you telling me that you're . . . you're Jonah's son?”

He looked at her. His eyes were full of pain and regret. He nodded several times quickly.

Erica let him go and jumped up from the sofa. The first thing she saw was the garbage can at the edge of the kitchen island. She ran to it and bent over, just in time, and threw up.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.”

After a minute or so, she finally stood up and looked at him. He was right at her side and he handed her a paper towel to wipe her mouth.

“My God, Alex.”

“I know,” he said. “But it's okay. It's not like . . . Well, we only kissed.”

“Don't!” she yelled. “Don't even mention it. I'm gonna throw up again.”

Erica felt disoriented, in shock and utter disbelief. She was barely able to stand up straight. She reached out for the counter to steady herself. She was feeling dizzy.

“It's not easy for me either,” Alex said. “I was falling for you, Erica. I wanted to . . . Oh, my God, I can't even think about it.”

“This is why he didn't want us together!” Erica exclaimed. “That son of a bitch. Instead of telling the truth, he was willing to risk us—” She leaned over the garbage again, thinking she might throw up once more.

“I think he believed we would obey him,” Alex said. “Jonah thinks he's God, so he'd expect us to follow his rules.”

“This is disgusting,” she said. “He's disgusting.”

“We didn't do anything wrong,” Alex said.

She stood up straight, looking at him and seeing how tortured he was over this. “I know, Alex. It just seems like it.”

“I thought maybe . . . that maybe you suspected this?” Alex said as more of a question than a statement.

“How could I possibly?” she asked. “I mean, now, looking back, so many things make sense, but I never thought this.”

“You pushed away from me after we kissed,” Alex said. “I thought you sensed it was wrong.”

Erica reflected on her conflicted feelings to whatever extent she could without making herself sick again.

“It's possible,” she agreed. “But really, there's no way for me to sense that you're my . . . I can't even say it.”

“Half brother,” Alex offered. “There, I said it.”

She slowly, unsteadily walked back to the sofa. She needed to sit down. Alex stayed where he was, leaning against the counter.

“But maybe I was suspicious of the weirdness,” she said, “and my subconscious was telling me to slow my roll before I could figure it out.” She looked up at him. “Alex, this is awful. It's just—”

“How do you think I feel?” he asked. “I'm completely freaked out by lusting after my own half sister. Not to mention the fact that I found out that the man I thought was my father, who died while my mother was pregnant with me, isn't.”

Erica realized she'd been so focused on her own shock that she hadn't thought of how much worse this was for him. This was about more than just the two of them for Alex.

“I'm so sorry, Alex. You must be devastated.”

He was shaking his head in incredulity. “I can't believe all those times I saw him, met him. He knew and still treated me like just some other kid.”

“Now you know why your mother hates him so much.”

“And her,” Alex said. “How could she have an affair with a married man?”

“Alex, you can't be mad at her. She was in grief, and . . .” Erica stopped midsentence as she realized what Alex was saying. It clicked in her head. “It's her!”

“What?”

Erica hopped up from the sofa. “The woman Juliet was talking about when she was accusing my mother of sleeping with Jonah after they were married. She knew he was cheating, but she didn't know with whom.”

“Now you know all about it,” Alex said.

“Does your mother know about me?” she asked.

“No, I didn't think it was a good idea, considering her plans.”

Erica took a few steps closer to him, noticing the apprehensive look on his face. “What plans?”

“She's not here because she's . . .” Alex's brows highlighted his agonized expression. “She's with her lawyer. They're planning a press conference. They're gonna tell the press everything.”

“Oh . . . my . . . God.”

“Y
ou're looking good, Sherise,” Erica said as she sat across from her in the outdoor café on U Street. “You're . . . I don't know, glowing. It sounds so clichéd.”

Sherise smiled as she took a sip of her virgin daiquiri. “I'm coming into this pregnancy, girl. No more morning sickness and my stress is now so low that I sleep through the night. It's great.”

“Getting nice and . . . plump there too.” Erica laughed.

“Fuck you!” Sherise laughed too. “I'm still smaller than you, bitch, so—”

“Oh no, you didn't!” Erica clenched her hand in a fist and playfully directed it at her friend.

“Fact!” Sherise pointed to her. “And I'll tell you something else—”

Before she could finish, a car pulled up on the curb. It was a maroon BMW and Billie was inside. Both Sherise and Erica leaned over to get a look at the driver. Neither of them had still seen him in person.

“He's handsome,” Erica said.

“He's okay.” Sherise rolled her eyes. “I'll make my formal assessment after a real encounter, not a drop-off.”

The ladies watched as Billie leaned over and kissed Michael on the lips before hopping out of the car and waving good-bye as he sped off. She turned to walk toward the girls with a hop in her step.

“You're walking like a girl that's getting some,” Sherise said as soon as she reached them.

“That's because I am.” Billie sat down. “Long time, no see, ladies.”

“It's been weeks since we've been together,” Erica said. “I hate it. And now that you're spending more time with Michael, it's going to get worse, isn't it?”

“No,” Billie assured her. “We've all had or have husbands and boyfriends and we managed to keep our connection. We'll figure it out. This has been an insane few months for all of us.”

“What months aren't insane for us?” Erica asked. She could remember very few.

“So we're meeting him formally tomorrow night?” Sherise asked. “I have to give my blessing.”

“Yes,” Billie said. “You'll meet him at the fund-raiser for Northman tomorrow night. You have to be nice.”

“Of course,” Erica said. “You already have my blessing. I can tell you're happy.”

Billie smiled, feeling a sense of overwhelming joy, which she was starting to get very comfortable with again.

“He's great,” she said. “I mean, we've only been back together for a couple of weeks, but things are just picking up where they left off. It's weird how happy I am.”

“Why is that weird?” Sherise asked. “You deserve it.”

“I know,” Billie said, “but it's been so long. I just didn't think it was gonna happen. When I'm with him, I feel like I have a future, all over again. As if everything that happened in my past needed to occur in order to be here with him now.”

“Oh, girl,” Sherise said. “He got you sprung as hell.”

Billie laughed. “I'm being serious. My whole life is back in a flow now. I'm gliding with it. It's good.”

“I feel ya,” Sherise said. “Now that that bitch, Elena, is out of the picture and this pregnancy is settling in, Justin and I are in heaven. You just know it, when things are back on track. It makes you laugh at all those other times you tried to convince yourself it was, but it wasn't.”

“Is he still at the firm?” Billie asked.

Sherise nodded. “But he's shoring up his clients and his plans. Neither of you can tell anyone about his going off on his own.”

“My lips are sealed,” Erica said. “I wish him the best.”

“I'm going to be the wife of the CEO now,” Sherise said.

“Correction,” Billie said. “He's going to be the husband of the press secretary for the president of the United States.”

Sherise grabbed her phone from the table and held it up for the girls to see. “See this? The combination of polls has Northman up by five now. From being down seven, just a couple weeks ago.”

“You can thank Jonah for that,” Erica said. “Asshole. He got what was coming to him.”

Leeza Gonzales went public the afternoon Alex informed Erica of the shocking news. Things had been crazy ever since. The press everywhere wanted more answers about the affair with Leeza and how Jonah could have known about his love child and ignored him. When Jonah held a press conference to try and put out the fire, Juliet was conspicuously absent, which led to even more rumors that the two were headed for divorce. Proof of this affair brought mistresses out of the woodwork. In a matter of days, Jonah Nolan went from being the future of America to the whorish deadbeat dad of America.

He not only withdrew as Matthews's vice presidential nominee, but he also tendered his resignation at the Pentagon. Jonah Nolan's legacy was over; and all it took was a former maid who decided it was time to end the charade.

“Is he still trying to contact you?” Billie asked.

“Not in the last few days,” Erica said, grateful for that. “I'm never talking to him again. I just have to accept that I don't have a father. I survived without one.”

“You have us,” Sherise said. “You don't need him.”

Sherise reached out and placed her hand on Erica's, squeezing it.

“He deserved every bit of what has happened to him,” Sherise said. “With you, he has the excuse of not knowing until you were older. But with Alex, he knew all along.”

“I'm still afraid they'll find out about me,” Erica said.

“I don't think so,” Billie said. “It's starting to die down. He's out of the limelight. This new woman Matthews selected is all everyone is talking about. The press has moved on to her. I think the worst of Jonah is over.”

Erica only hoped so. She hadn't had as much as one call from a reporter during the weeks since this exploded. She was grateful to God for that.

“Are you okay?” Billie asked. “I mean, with . . . Alex and everything.”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Erica said.

“You have to,” Sherise urged. “You know that's what we're here for.”

“I still get sick thinking about it.” Erica's hands came to her temples as she felt a headache coming on. “I think I will for a long time.”

“You only kissed him,” Billie said. “It's not the end of the world. You have to get past it.”

“I know, and I will.” Erica rubbed at her temples, wondering whether one day, thinking about this wouldn't give her a headache. “It's just gonna take some time. I feel awful.”

“Why would you feel awful?” Billie asked. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“Not for me,” she said. “For Alex. Since this all came out, his life has been turned upside down. He had to go into hiding with his mom.”

Erica had wanted so often to reach out to him over the past weeks, but she couldn't. He'd texted her once, but she'd only told him that she needed time and wished him the best. He promised he'd never tell her secret and she thanked him. That was their last communication, over a week ago. Erica didn't know when she'd be able to look at Alex and not feel dirty, but she hoped the day would come. Alex was a good guy and needed as many real friends as he could use, now that his life was never going to be the same. She wanted to be that friend.

“They should be safe, though,” Sherise said. “I mean from Jonah at least.”

“Who knows?” Erica said. “He's gone underground for now. He's waiting until the fever dies down. But what happens when it does? He had plans for his future and they've been ruined.”

“He won't blame himself,” Sherise said. “He's not capable of that level of awareness. Before blaming himself, he'll blame Alex, Alex's mother, Erica, me, and anyone else.”

“He wanted to sit in the Oval Office,” Erica said. “He felt it was his birthright, and he'll never get there now. I refuse to believe he's just going to go away. I don't think we've heard the last of Jonah Nolan.”

“That can't be good.” Billie gestured for the waitress. “I need a drink.”