Obsession: Loving An Alpha Male (9 page)

Paula watched him drive away, trying to reign in her anger. She’d never in her life been rejected the way Josh just did to her. And for a girl who probably hadn’t hit puberty yet. Paula hated to lose. She hated to lose against someone that couldn’t measure up to her even more.

“It seems Cooper needs a little more nudging my way,” she said out loud as his headlights disappeared from her view.

A smile crept on Paula’s face as she knew exactly what to do to get rid of Pollyanna.

Josh raced through the city with the burning need to get to Summer sooner rather than later. The past two months he’d spent almost every bit of his time surrounding himself with everything Summer Dean. Josh wasn’t exaggerating when he told Misty he was in hell. That’s exactly what it felt like for him being around Summer. He really thought he could bury his growing feelings for her and treat her as a friend, but he was losing his mind. While on their first date, Josh tried to give Summer space. He tried to act natural, staying in the friendship–building zone, but seeing her interact with Aaron and Michael only brought the possessiveness out of him. During the game, he went from aloof and nonchalant to grumpy and territorial, feeling his anger directed at every male around her. He didn’t like the way they watched her, how they made excuses to touch her.

The friend zone shit wasn’t working, he knew it. And when she looked him in his eyes right before she kissed him, he felt it. His need to have her was strong, and as he spent these last two months with her, it only intensified. He found himself wanting and needing to keep her close, so he made sure to see her almost every day for breakfast. They would run together in the morning, or even meet in the city for lunch at one of the many restaurants downtown had to offer, or they would meet in his office and eat in.

Having lunch turned to having dinner or walks in the park or going to see the latest action movie or horror movie. He started picking her up from work, or if he couldn’t, he would send Ivan to do it. He felt better when he knew she was home safe. But mostly he used any excuse he could think of to be with her. The need to be with her was growing stronger every day. He wanted, or better yet he needed, to see her, hear her laugh, watch her face light up when her eyes fell on him. The need to protect her, to possess her was starting to take over his senses.

Josh found himself in unchartered territory, and before he could stop it, he began to feel more for her than he’d ever felt for any woman he’d ever known.

He pulled up to her apartment and shut off the engine. He sat there a moment to calm himself. He was on edge, and in order to deal with whatever was going to greet him, he needed to be relaxed and focused. She seemed to still be awake, the light from her living room escaping through her blinds. He picked up his cell and tried to be as composed as he could.

She picked up on the third ring with a voice also trying to be composed. “Hey, you. I thought you’d be sleep by now.”

They spoke earlier that day on the phone, and he told her how much he’d not been able to sleep because of the case he was working on. He told her how he was close to solving the mysteries and questions pertaining to the case, but that it kept him up these past few days trying to wrap up everything. In no way was that the case. No, he was losing sleep because his mind was constantly on her.

Josh got out of his car.

“Yeah, it seems my body is getting accustomed to not sleeping. So I took a drive and decided to drive by your place.” Josh squeezed his eyes shut. He sounded like a fucking stalker.
Way to go, Cooper
. Summer just chuckled.

She replied softly, “Well, it must be my animal magnetism or something drawing you to me.”

He leaned against her front door, lowering his voice saying, “Yeah, it’s something.”

He closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing down. It never failed, every time he knew he was close to her or sensed her closeness, his heartbeat sped up. It was like that when she met him at the stadium for their first date, it happened every time she came to his office or they met somewhere for lunch. And it happened the first day he met her when she was laying on the track.

“What’s going on with you? Why are you up?” he asked her.

“Same as you, can’t sleep,” she replied back, again trying to be upbeat and airy.

Josh smiled. “Good, so why don’t you let me in then, and we can have insomnia together? I have your favorite cookies from Jenny’s Bakery.”

She chuckled. “How is that possible? They’re closed this time of the night. Do you have a stash in your car?”

Shit!

He answered quickly, hoping it would satisfy her, “Actually, I picked them up earlier today but kept them in the car to keep from eating them. Come on, what do you say? We can keep each other company.”

Summer was quiet on the line, a little too quiet. She replied just as Josh took in a deep relaxing breath, she was going to fight him.

“Actually, do you mind holding the cookies for tomorrow? I don’t want to indulge in that kind of sugar and be up any longer than I’ve already have been. Besides, don’t you have an early morning tomorrow?”

“Don’t worry about me, Sweets, I’ll be fine, and you know you can’t turn down these soft sweet decadence you call heavenly morsels.”

She laughed again. “I know but I–”

Josh wasn’t letting her get rid of him. “Sweets, I’m standing right outside your door. Let me in. You sound funny, and I just want to check on you.”

She sighed. “I’m fine, Josh.”

“Yeah, prove it. Open the door.”

She paused, and he saw the blinds from her living room window raise slightly.

“If you can see that I’m fine, you’ll let this go?”

“Yup,” he said. “If I’m satisfied you’re okay, then I’ll let it go.”

She sighed again, then agreed to let him in. He hung up, and the moment his eyes fell on her he was glad he pushed. It was worse than he thought.

“Shit, Sweets,” he said softly.

He touched her face lightly and looked heavily in her eyes. Bright and expressive eyes that would typically greet him were replaced with dull and lifeless ones. This woman before him wasn’t the woman he knew, no this was someone else. She tried to smile and move from him, but he wouldn’t let her.

“I’m fine,” she told him, just as he tried to walk inside the building. But Summer stood her ground, placing both her hands on his chest to stop him from moving any further.

“Baby, when’s the last time you slept?” he asked her.

“It’s not a big deal, Josh. I’ve just been busy, that’s all. Now you’ve seen that I’m fine, you can go home now.”

Josh shook his head. “Baby, you look like shit!”

“Thanks.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought you said if you saw I was fine, you would go home.”

“I said I would if I’m satisfied, and I’m far from satisfied. Are you going to let me in?”

Josh kept his eyes on hers. He could see she was battling, could see the tears starting to well in her eyes. He lightly caressed her cheek with his knuckles.

“Let me take care you, Sweets,” he said voice low but full of every emotion burning inside him.

Summer shook her head and finally rested her forehead against his chest.

“Please, don’t make me talk about it,” she replied softly, face still buried in his chest.

Josh put his arms around her, trying his best to surround her with all of his strength, so she could take whatever she needed from him. He didn’t say a word as she shook her head from side to side until he finally felt her arms snake around him.

“Okay, I won’t. Just let me be here for you. Come on, baby.”

He kissed the top of her head. She moved from his embrace, and he took her hand in his, locked her front doors and moved toward the door of her apartment.

“Oh my gosh, Josh, you did not do that to your brother?”

Josh smiled and leaned back against her couch nodding his head.

“Sweets, my brothers are assholes. Believe me when I tell you they deserved everything I did to them and more.”

Summer, who, as the time went by, seemed to have slowly come back to him, sat Indian style across from him on her couch. Ever since Josh walked in her apartment, they’d been talking. Actually, Josh was doing all the talking as Summer sat next to him. She shivered every now and again, still stuck in her head, but as Josh regaled her with stories of his family, she began to relax more, almost returning to her normal self. Josh could still see the sadness and despair all over her, but he also saw the life in her coming back.

“I still don’t believe they deserved the things you did.”

“Baby, let me tell you a story: There was this girl in my class in high school that I liked. Her name was Allison. I mean, I thought she was heaven walking on earth. She had this beautiful silky black hair and a banging body for her age. I mean, all the guys around the school were gunning for her. That’s how hot she was. And of all the boys in our grade, she liked me, Sweets.”

She smirked. “It was your animal magnetism.”

Josh laughed. “Yeah, that’s right, you know how it is. So anyway, I get the nerve to ask Allison to meet me by the bleachers after my football game.”

Summer frowned. “The bleachers?”

He nodded. “Yeah, Sweets, the bleachers. Hasn’t a boy asked you to meet him by the bleachers after a football game or basketball game?”

Summer shook her head. “Um, no they didn’t. I wouldn’t have gone anyway.”

Josh leaned into her. “You would’ve gone with me, Sweets. If I had known you in high school, I would have asked you to do a lot more than meet me at the bleachers.”

Josh winked his eye and looked at her struggle on his meaning. When she finally understood she tossed the pillow she had in her lap at him.

“You’re a pig, do you know that?”

“Yes, I do… anyway back to my story. So I ask the girl to meet me at the bleachers. Now everyone knows what it means to be asked to go to the bleachers. If you say yes, that means you are saying yes to getting kissed, groped, and God knows what else at a moment’s notice.”

“Whoa there, cowboy, are you telling me that you have had sex underneath bleachers in high school?”

“Sweets, stop concentrating on my lack of a moral fiber at sixteen and let me tell you my story. So of course being the guy I was in high school, Allison said yes. It was after my championship game mind you, so I was on a high. I showered, taking care of all the necessary parts of the body, you know, just in case she wanted to plant her face in my lap. When I got out of the shower, everyone pretty much left the locker room, so it was just me. So I got dressed, you know, thinking about what I was going to do to Allison first and not focusing on getting dressed. By the time I made it out to the field it was really dark. The field lights were out, and like I said, everyone was mostly gone except for Allison and me. So to make a long story short, we started instantly going at it, kissing and touching, and that’s when it happened.”

Summer’s eyes were wide. “What happened?”

He ignored her and added, “I didn’t think anything of it when I first felt it.”

“Felt what?” Summer asked, leaning closer to him.

Josh just shook his head.

“Then I didn’t know if it was the heat that was rising in me, but shit, when I got a boner, bam! It hit me.”

“What hit you?” She asked, more exacerbated with anticipation.

“Baby powder.”

Summer scrounged up her nose. “Baby powder? I don’t get it. How would baby powder affect your… you know… wait, unless you were…”

Just then, her eyes got wide, and she burst out laughing. Josh just nodded and leaned back against the couch.

“Yeah, now you get it. So it seems my brothers put baby powder in the crotch part of my underwear… and well, as you can guess, I’m extremely allergic to baby powder. I break out in hives, and wherever the powder touches I itch like crazy. And before you ask, I know it was them. They heard me bragging about what I was doing, and they are the only ones that know I’m allergic to baby powder. So as you can imagine, my crotch was on fire. Allison looked on in horror as blotches and rashes appeared on my face, my torso… my dick…” Summer was curled over laughing hysterically. Josh smiled and added, “Yeah, it’s funny now, but it wasn’t then. I stripped completely and tried my best to first get back in the school to shower, but the doors were locked. So I had to run to my car and speed home just to get that shit off my body.”

“Oh my goodness, Josh. That’s unbelievable.” Summer shook her head.

“Yeah, it may be unbelievable to you, but it happened to me, Sweets. Just imagine me running through the front door, parents sitting in the living room with a few of their friends, and I shoot by them butt ass naked. My brothers see me and fall out laughing hysterically, sort of what you just did. And me having to explain to my mother what I planned on doing tonight with a girl… yeah, that didn’t go over very well.”

Grinning she shook her head, “Yeah, I can only imagine.”

“So yeah, when I played the practical jokes on my brothers, I think it’s warranted. They deserve that shit.”

Summer put her hands up. “Okay I relent.”

Josh looked out the window and noticed the darkness was subsiding outside and in the apartment. His phone then started to vibrate on the table in front of them. Summer looked at it, then at him.

Josh reached for it, saying, “That’s my alarm.”

“I’m sorry–” Summer started.

Josh shook his head and said over her, “Don’t even say it. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m glad I decided to swing by your place when I did, and I’m glad I stayed.” Josh reached for her hand and kissed it lightly. “Anytime you need me, just call me, okay?” She nodded and kept her eyes glued to their union. Josh asked, “Why don’t you call off and get some sleep? I’m sure someone can cover for you today.”

Summer nodded absently, still looking at their hands. Josh squeezed her hand and stood bringing her with him. He grabbed his keys and phone and headed for her front door.

“I have nightmares about him choking me,” she said softly.

Josh stopped and turned to face her. Summer stood there seemingly frightened as if she was still in her nightmare.

“Sweets…” Josh started, and squeezed her hand, but Summer shook her head and closed her eyes.

She said, “That’s what he used to do to me. I would be asleep, and suddenly wake up to him on top of me, cutting off my air, watching me struggle to breathe. When I wake up from the dream, I can feel him in the room with me, I can feel his breath on my face, I can smell his cologne everywhere, on my pillows, my hands, on my sheets. I keep buying new pillows and sheets because no matter how many times I try, I can’t get his fucking smell off of me…” Summer gripped her shirt tight and backed away, breath quickening with each step.

Josh moved quickly to wrap his arms around her just before she collapsed to the floor. He scooped her up in his arms and walked into her room. Crying, Summer held on to him tight, and even when he sat down on her bed she didn’t let him go. He held her too, not wanting to let her go, caressing her back, letting her hold on to him as long as she wanted.

“I’m so fucked up, Josh,” she said in his neck.

“No, you’re not. You’re just a woman who clearly has been through some fucked up shit. But guess what? You’re not in it now. And best believe I will not let you get into it again.”

Summer leaned back from him, and he wiped the wetness from her face with his fingers. Summer just watched him as he fussed over her.

“I hate that you’re afraid, that you’re living your life in fear,” Josh admitted.

“There’s nothing you can do,” Summer told him.

Josh scoffed and shook his head. “That’s where you’re mistaken, Sweets, there are plenty of things I can do, and best believe I will do them.”

“Josh, as much as I would love for you to help, I don’t want to get you involved. Noah has connections. He could…” She paused and moved from his lap to put her back against her headboard. She closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Can you understand that?”

“Look at me, baby. Look at me, Sweets,” he said softly, turning his body to face hers. She opened her eyes, and they fell on Josh. “There is no way that son of a bitch will ever put his hands on you again. He won’t be in the same room with you, or even breathe the same air as you as long as I’m around. I want you to trust in that, Sweets. Trust in me that I will do everything I can to make you feel safe.”

“He’s dangerous, Josh,” she said softly.

Josh ran his hand through her hair and stopped at her neck. He said to her slowly, “So am I, Sweets, so am I.” His eyes instantly grew dark, something that she hadn’t seen from him before. It was different, more ominous. She shivered slightly as his eyes never wavered from hers.

“Sweets, listen,” Josh moved closer to her and placed both his hands along the sides of her face. “I know we are just getting to know each other, and I get that it’s hard to trust people, especially men. But, God, I give you my word I will do everything I can to protect you. You’re not alone in this, okay? There’s no way I will let him come near you.”

“Why would you want to help me? Put yourself in danger for me,” she managed to say, softly.

Josh shook his head. “I can’t begin to explain the connection and the pull you have over me. I can’t stop thinking about you, I’m completely drawn to you, I want to get to know you, but most of all I want to protect you. If you give me a chance, I promise to show you that you can trust me. Will you give me that chance? Let me help you stop running.”

God
, she thought to herself,
looking in his eyes I can see he means every word.
He was just a compliance officer, she knew, but the intensity in which he was looking in her eyes made him feel more than a pencil pusher. She could actually feel the same amount of danger, if not more, coming off him right this moment than she ever felt being with Noah.

The desire to tell him everything at that very moment washed over her like strong waves washing over the rocks swelling from an ocean or sea shore.

However, Josh took her hesitation to mean she was still contemplating it, and he kissed her then said, “You don’t have to say anything today. I just wanted to let you know I’m here if you need me, okay?”

Summer, finally, after a few minutes of just staring at him, nodded. Josh took his own soothing breath, feeling he finally broke through to her. Josh rubbed her stretch pants encased leg, just trying to gratify his own burning need to just touch her.

He said, “Listen, I have a meeting to go to in a few hours so I have to leave. However, I don’t have much to do in the office. How about I come back here in the afternoon, pick you up and we go see the city? We can get something to eat, catch a movie or something or just find a park and just hang out. What do you say?”

Smiling, Summer shook her head. “Don’t you have a case to wrap up?”

“Fuck that case right now. I’m more concerned about you. Where are your keys?” She told him, and he stood. “I’ll lock up so you don’t have to get up. Why don’t you go have a bath, then get some sleep? I’ll call you when I’m on my way to pick you up.”

Josh leaned into her and kissed her on her forehead then leaned down and risked touching his lips to hers. As the hunger started to rise in him, he backed away. He then walked out of her apartment, locked all her doors, then out of the building to his car. Once inside, he closed his eyes. He gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles drained of all color.

He was seething with rage, needing, wanting, to release this on only one person. It was that moment that the tension eased from his hands, and he smiled. He started thinking of all the wonderful things he was going to do to Noah the moment he got his hands on him. He reached for his phone and called up the number he wanted. He started his car while his phone rang and connected through his car Bluetooth.

“What can I do for you?” the caller answered.

“Tell me what he’s doing,” Josh said simply as he drove to his apartment.