Of Body And Soul (12 page)

Kurt extended his hand
. “Pleasure to meet you, sir.” Kurt smiled and wasn't surprised by the grip of this six foot three, full bearded, Paul Bunyan. When the grip was released, Kurt stretched his hand and flexed his fingers. They all laughed, changing the mood.

"Where's Mrs. Belson?" Andrea asked.

"Oh, she's gone to the market. You remember how particular she was? Well, she's gotten worse with age," he bellowed. She'll be shocked when she sees you."

Andrea nodded her head in agreement.

"Is your luggage still in the car?"

"Yes," Kurt answered.

"Let's go out and get it so the two of you can get settled in. You may be able to take a walk before dinner is served."

"That'll be great.
             

The evening was like
every fairy tale should be. There were five other couples staying at the Inn. After dinner they all retreated to the living room to a blazing fire, cordials, and dessert. Andrea played some Mozart and Chopin, while one of the other guests played show tunes and sang. Eventually, everyone joined in.  No one seemed to want the night to end, but one by one the couples retreated to their rooms.

"You seemed to have enjoyed yourself, Darling."
Kurt said after the closed the door to their room.

“
Enjoy? It was magical, Andrea. The other guests fell in love with you," Kurt  said, as he undressed her.

“I
also loved every minute of it," she said, and smiled with remembered pleasure, recalling the marvelous days, the marvelous evenings, she and her parents shared at the Inn. 

As he pulled her dress down around her ankles, her heart reacted immediately to his touch. With a shuddering sigh, she let him lead her to bed, and to happiness.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

An intriguing combination of a brisk wind and a warm sun greeted them as they brought their second cup of coffee to the rockers on the front porch.

"Kurt, would you like to do some fishing this morning?"

"Yes, I would."             

"I'd like to do some sketching,
and after lunch we could go back with my easel and paints."

He nodded. "I haven't been fishing since we got ma
rried. Do you think the Belsons would like some trout for dinner?"

"I'm sure they would. They loved it when my Dad brought in his catch."

Andrea and Kurt had enjoyed the hospitality of the region and their precious time together. On two of the mornings, they were able to have breakfast on the porch.

Flocks of blue jays, cardinals, and sparrows presented a sonata of their own. Deer grazed in a field not twenty feet away. It was hard to pull away from the scene before them.

Andrea's sketchpad had become an appendage, as she was never without it.

"I could stay here all day and watch nature unfold its beauty, but you won't get any fishing done, and I won't get any painting done."

Kurt stood and pulled her up from the rocker and into his
arm
s
.
“
Let's go fishing."

She let herself be pulled into his arms and his love.

Kurt found a spot along the lake to set up Andrea's easel.  Magnificent shimmering gray, black, and russet boulders controlled the shoreline. Trees of every color spewed their leaves, covering the ground like a giant quilt.

Along the lake, colors reflected mirror images into the crystal clear water, while the scent of fall
permeated the air forcing him to breathe in the freshness.

Kurt baited his hook and cast his line as far as the weight would take it. He sat and waited for something to bite and watched Andrea as her hands brushed over the canvas. Every stroke was i
ntense, forceful, and had a purpose. She attacked her canvas like a tennis player attacked his first volley. She was strong of mind and body, and he thought maybe now he'd be able to discuss his problem.

She stopped a moment and saw him watching her
, intently, quietly. Her body danced with excitement when she met his eyes.

"What are you thinking, darling?" she asked
, as she laid her brush down and walked to him. She tenderly stroked his back and nuzzled her chin in the crook of his neck.

"Oh, how I wish times like this would last forever," he said, instead o
f what he truly wanted to say.

"But, my love, they wi
ll last forever. It's our des . . . ."

His arm wrapped around her fast and hard. She had time to draw in a shocked breath before his mouth came down on hers. Harsh and demanding, it sent her brain into a
paroxysm of wanton desire.

He threw his fishing
pole aside, and pulled her down to a bed of rough dried leaves and twigs. She began to shiver.

"Kurt
. . . ."

He was on top of her before she knew what was happening. His hands were everywhere.
“I need you. I need you right now.”

Her eyes were huge and the gold dust in them gli
stened in the sun. Her heart pounded against his hand as he kneaded her breast.

His greed for her became overwhelming, and his caresses wild and hungry. He heard her strained cry muffled against his aggressive mouth.
Passion poured from him. His lips blazed a trail of liquid fire across her lips.

She opened her mouth with a small whimper, allowing herself to be caught by the rapid and experienced assault of his tongue.
             

His hands roamed over her body sending molten shafts of sensation down her stomach to her legs.

He pulled her jeans off and ripped at her sweater and shirt. His dominance was crushing. Part of her was horrified, but the other part of her felt excited and wanton. She met the full force of his primal passion with an equal force of her own.

When their passion was spent
, he shuddered at what he had done. He heard the singing of the birds and the rustle of the leaves as the squirrels ran from tree limb to tree limb. He heard people in the distance, laughing and joking as they trekked through the woods. And he heard Andrea's heavy breathing.

"Oh, God." He sighed deeply.

"Kurt?"

They'd
been married for five months, and she had never seen this side of him. His hunger for her had always been boundless, but this primal passion had been overwhelming.

"Kurt," she said again, and would have wrapped her arms around him if he hadn't stood up.

"I'm sorry. I . . . ."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I wanted you as much as you wanted me."

He bent over and with extreme care, helped her pull on her jeans. He plucked dried leaves and twigs from her disheveled hair, and brushed the earth from her back before she pulled on her shirt. He looked at her and couldn’t believe what he had just done. At this moment, he hated everything that lived inside him.

"Darling. What is it? Please, talk to me?

He stared at the ground where they had just lain. A sick pounding began in his head. "No, not now. It's getting late. We'd better get back.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
             

During the next few days, he tried to talk to her about his behavior by the lake and his feelings of having a family, but he couldn't. The days of hiking, fishing
, and painting flew by into wonderful nights of lovemaking.

Neither one of them had the courage to break the magic of their time together. They drove home in silence; silence with no resolve, with no solution. 

Fall and its glory lasted another few weeks. Andrea took day excursions over the Rip Van Winkle Bridge and set her easel up in the valley’s morning mist. She didn't wait for the landscape to appear before the mist lifted, but painted the landscape on the canvas, making it fit what was in mind’s eye.

Th
e days were long and exhausting but she had to make every minute count in order to capture this God-given picture.

She
had just pulled into the garage after one of her excursions when she heard the phone ringing. She dropped her easel and paint case in a heap and ran to answer it.

"You're finally home," said a cheery voice.

"Grayson. It must be ESP. I just got back from the mountains and I promised myself I'd give you a buzz tonight. I have something to discuss with you."

"What's the problem, dear? You seem anxious."

"I had hoped you'd be here by now, but I guess it's impossible now that your season has started. Your B & B must be in full swing."

"It is my dear. I never dreamed it would do so well. By the way, you have never asked me what I named it."

"Well?" she said with a snicker, "what did you name it?"

"Le Wyndemere del Sol."

Goose bumps ran across Andrea's arms. "Why Wyndemere? she whispered.

"I knew you loved to go to
Windham as much as I did, and I thought it would be nice for you and me to have something from our past."

"You won't believe this, but Kurt and I spent a long weekend at the Wyndemere Inn, just two weeks ago.
”

"Then you're pleased?"

"Oh, yes, Grayson, I am. I can't wait to see it."

"Now, what's troubling, you dear?"

"You know how desperately I want children. And, do you remember me telling you how upset Kurt got  every time I mention it?"

"Yes."

"Well, I don't know what to do about it."

"Try talking to him again. You can't harbor this much longer. You must bring your feelings out in the open."

"I know, but he walks away from me when I bring it up."

“
Have you talked to Emily about it?"

"Yes, I have."

"And?"

"Well, she finally told me their parents were
abusive, especially to Kurt. Emily remembers Kurt saying, he would never have children. Even when he was a small child he’d say it. Emily thought he'd get over it.”

"Oh, the poor man. Has Kurt gotten any professional help?"

"He did as a boy, but none as an adult."

"Why don't you talk to him about
seeing a doctor?"

"Emily said she
tried to talk with him before our marriage, but he wouldn't listen to anything she had to say.  He told her he'd never have children, and that was that."

"Had you know
n this before you married him?"

"No, I didn't. He told me he'd like to wait a few years. 
He never said he didn’t want children."

“
Do you love him, Andrea?"

"More than anything in the world."

"Then forget about having children. Take my advice if you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him."

"I know once I become pregnant, he'll come around."

"Andrea, listen to yourself. You sound like an immature schoolgirl. You know as well as I do, if this is not settled before you get pregnant, you'll be creating grief for yourself, grief for the child, and grief for Kurt. Stop and think."

"I have given this a lot of thought and I know, deep down I know he'll come around. He loves me, Grayson. His eyes tell me every day; his body every night."

"Then why jeopardize what you both have?"

"Because I
definitely want a family," she said.

"Please, dear, talk to him again."

"I’ll try."

"In the meantime, be careful, Andrea. Don't lose control and forget."

"I won't."

"Is that a promise?"

"As much of a promise as I can make. I love you, Grayson. Thanks for listening."

"Remember, dear, I'm always here for you. In my heart I know whatever decision you make will be the right one."

"Thank you for the confidence. I'm going to need it. Goodnight, Grayson."

"Goodnight, my dear, and God bless you."

CHAPTER NINETEEN
                                        

Andrea’s trips
to the valley stopped when a colorful autumn turned into a gray winter of snow and ice. She hadn't faced Kurt with their problem and Kurt hadn't talked to her about it either. Right after Christmas, she thought.  

Kurt stood at the window, watching a dazzling white blur of snow
fall heavily from the sky. "Darling, do you want to go skiing in Vail for the holidays?" he asked, walking over to where she sat in front of the blazing fireplace thumbing through Vogue.

"No, I don't think so. I
can’t seem to shake this flu bug. I don't want to get there and be sick all the time we’re there."

"That's fine with me. I would just as soon stay home
and have a family Christmas with Em and Michael and a few of our close friends. Do you think you'll be up to it?"

“
For sure. I only wish Grayson could be with us. December is my favorite month. I love all the excitement around the holidays. And this will be our first Christmas as a married couple." She kissed him and pulled him down to the floor to lie beside her. "Make love to me now," she said in a husky voice.

The month of December proved to be as exciting as she had predicted. They shopped t
ogether for Christmas presents and they decorated the house.

"When are we going to get the tree?" she asked, as she wrapped pine garland around the ba
nister.

“
How about next weekend?" he answered, helping her finish the banister. "That looks great. Are we putting lights around the greens?"

"Yes, and white lace bows and baby's breath."

"We bought enough decorations to decorate two houses," he said, stepping around boxes and bags.

"That's what you think. Wait until it's all done. It will look like a page from Hans Christian Anderson."

He looked at her and saw a childish sparkle in her eyes.

"I've never had this much fun preparing for the holiday," he said to himself.

"Did you say something to me, darling?"

"No, I was just thinking out loud."
My earliest memory of my father was when he came home from the office and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. It was his nightly ritual. He'd down a few before dinner and then come to the dinner table with a glass in his hand. The damn thing was never empty. After dinner he'd get down to some serious drinking and then the demon appeared. 

I’d grab
Em. We’d run and hide. Hide anywhere we could find. Mom would scream profanities at my father and then lock herself in the bedroom.

My
father would bang on the bedroom door and shout obscenities at our mother until she opened the door to him.
Then you'd hear the crack of a slap, the rocking of their bed and groans of satisfaction. The damnable thing about it all was no one ever mentioned anything ever happened. It was like a normal family activity. Something every family did. I must stop thinking about the past. I need to think of the present
.

He looked around the room; it
had an ethereal quality which gave him an instant sense of peace.

"Andrea, aren't you tired yet? You've been going non
-stop since early this morning."

"I know, but I want to get everything done so we can enjoy
it sooner."

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a little green around the gills." He laughed as he pulled her close to him and gave her a huge hug.

"I feel fine now, but this morning I didn't feel well at all. I must still have that bug."

"If you're not feeling better tomorrow, please call the doctor."

"I will. You know these flu bugs just seem to hang on forever."

The next morning, tension gripped her as she left the bathroom for the third time. "What in God's name is wrong with me?" she
said to the empty room. “Kurt is right. I'll call Doctor Mitchell and she'll give me an antibiotic or something.”

"How long have you felt like this?" Doctor Mitchell
asked her voice quiet and tranquil. 

"Oh, I don't know, a month, maybe two." 

"You mean to tell me you've been ill for two months and haven't sought treatment?" she asked checking Andrea's blood pressure and pulse.

"Well, with the holidays coming up, I just didn't want to take the time. Anyway, flu bugs take forever to leave you."

"Oh, I didn't realize you had a Ph.D. in medicine. What makes you think it's a flu bug?"

“
I'm totally exhausted and I'm nauseated."

"And you say this has been going on for about two months now?"

"Yes. It isn't anything serious, is it, Doctor Mitchell? It's only the flu bug, right?"

Doctor Mitchell looked at Andrea in total surprise. "Andrea, how old are you now?" she asked.

"Thirty-five. Why? What does my age have to do with it?

"Well, I think congratulations are in order. Let me do
a test to confirm my diagnosis, but I think you're going to have a baby. Merry Christmas."

She reached over to Andrea and hugged her.

Andrea looked at the doctor and took in a quick breath of utter astonishment. She was wholly taken aback. A great exultation filled her chest to bursting, "How can this be?" she asked. "We've been extremely careful."

"Not careful enough, by the looks of things. What's the matter, Andrea? Don't you want this child?"

"I want this baby with my whole heart and soul. I couldn't be happier."

"Then why do your eyes tell me something different?"  

"I don't know if Kurt will welcome the news."

“
What do you mean? When I met Kurt at the Fourth of July celebration, I thought he was very personable and very attentive to you. We talked for almost an hour.” Dr. Mitchell paused. “He loves you. I saw him with you.” Again she paused. "What's the problem? Doesn't he want children?"

"He said he does, but he wanted to wait a few years be
fore we started our family. But I guess now is as good a time as any." Andrea smiled. "I couldn't be happier and I know, once Kurt finds out he's going to be a Daddy, he'll be happy also."

"I have a wonderful obstetrician I'd like you to see. Doctor Kalic specializes in pregna
ncies of women your age. You’ll have to get on an exercise program. Although by the looks of you, you must already be on one."

"Yes, I am."

"Well, you'll need pre-natal vitamins and something to help you with your morning sick-ness. Do you have time to see her today, if she has an opening?"

"Yes, that would be great
while I'm already in the city.  Morning sickness." She smiled smugly.
Doesn't that sound wonderful,
she thought, as she watched her physician place the call.

CHAPTER TWENTY

When Andrea
entered Doctor Kalic's office, she immediately noticed the time someone had taken to make the office festive and warm. Christmas lights and garlands had been draped around all the door frames. In one corner of the room stood a mid-sized tree, decorated with rattles, bibs, pink and blue bows, wooden soldiers, and Disney characters.
What a great idea!
she thought.