On Becoming His (11 page)

Luke shrugged. “Love comes in many forms. Did I love them? Yes. Was I in love with them? Not in the understanding that I know love to be today. When I decided to leave my last wife, things were tedious at best with her always arguing with me about everything and the conversations just never ended. Every time I was
filled with dread when some difficult
situation ensued, knowing I would finally get to a disgusted point and walk away. That’s not how I wanted to live.”

“How did you find the D/s scenario?” Taking a step back, Jezebel
smiled, as if encouraging him to continue.

Luke could see such love in her eyes. “By reading a book
about the lifestyle
one day. I was surfing on line and ran across something an
d for some reason I purchased this very poignant piece
.
He truly went into detail about why and how many fallacies there are out there and
about
his personal journey, drifting in and out of the lifestyle for years. When he finally found the right sub he was a very happy man and from what I understand they are still together.
After I read the entire book, I found the author’s website. He had been a practicing Dom for years and almost every provided a blog about why and how and basic information. I found myself looking forward to reading more and through several months of my own exploration realized I had always felt exactly the same way and was too terrified society would label me a bad man.” Oddly enough, saying the words out loud reminded him of the days of soul searching until he finally had accepted that not only was he not strange in his needs
,
but also that there were thousands of men who felt the same way.

“As if it was meant to be from the past. Man in charge of woman and then society forced us to believe otherwise.”

Seeing the twinkle in her eye gave him more than a smile. “You have been reading.”

“As my Sir asked me to do,” Jezebel cooed.

Rubbing the side of her cheek, Luke inhaled the sweet scent of her and sighed. “I’m glad. I’m a large man and I think for many men and women they fear the pain I might inflict which is why it’s so important for me to be consistent.
I promise you I can and will be.
” For some reason he needed to say the words to her, but he could easily tell she already understood.

“I know, which is one of the
many
reasons I trust you so completely.
I really do. This isn’t some fairy tale I’ve just thought about. I know what I want.
”

“I believe you
. Without trust we wouldn’t be moving forward.”

Swallowing hard, Jezebel glanced over at the table. “
I…I want to
go ahead and
…the contract?
I mean…
”

Placing his finger over her mouth, Luke shook his head. “Not yet. I have what I need.”

****

The club was packed as usual with people enjoying everything from dancing, drinking and simply people watching. Luke held her tightly in his arms, studying the way she commanded the room without moving. Demur in her actions, she took her place beside him as he’d anticipated and as she’d been taught. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind she was with him. As he sipped his drink, he watched the eyes of several men drinking in her beauty, the essence of the woman, his woman, and sighed.
He could tell
being in the same club as the incident with the blond man bothered her
and this was certainly pushing the boundaries
,
but he had to know and she had to forgive herself.
This was important for both of them. In order for them to even consider moving to another level and share either a man or woman in their bed, they both had to be completely comfortable, free to discuss worries. While he would decide, and Jezebel knew and accepted, he certainly wanted her to be able to enjoy.
“Tell me, a
re you enjoying yourself, Jezebel?”

“Yes, sir. I enjoy being with you.” Nuzzling closer into his chest, Jezebel tilted her head back and smiled, her body trembling.

“But?”

Clucking her jaw, Jezebel shook her head.

Patting her on the ass, the tap
was merely a reminder of her place. “Jezebel.”

“Um…” Turning slightly, she glanced into his eyes and sighed. “Why here? There are hundreds of other clubs.”

“You know why, don’t you?”
             
“Yes, I do but…”

“But nothing. We are here because I brought us here and that’s final.” Luke knew his words sounded harsh. When she nodded he patted her ass again. “Better.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good
,” he purred as he stroked her arm absently.
He could feel her tension remaining and knew this was indeed the right decision, no matter the outcome. Inhaling deeply, Luke smiled.
He loved the subtle and yet very exotic fragrance she always wore when she was with him. From the dresses she selected to the soft silks she wore to bed at night, she’d grown accustomed to his tastes and there was never a question of what he wanted. He’d never attempted to control certain aspects of her life. Luke didn’t want to break her spirit or corral her fire.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Not yet. I have a call to make for business. When I return we’ll do just that.” As he stepped away from her, he could see her questioning look, yet she nodded and moved against the bar. As he walked away he eyed the blond man hovering next to a table and nodded.
He’d tested her over the course of their months together from discussions to scenarios played out. He made no bones about the fact he hungered to have a third in their bed at times. He also knew her penchant for dominating men and the heated conversations about why another commanding presence simply wouldn’t be beneficial had been the single sore point remaining. Jezebel insisted she understood why he wanted a submissive male.
Given what had transpired,
Luke simply needed his own level of reassurance.
He needed to know she was prepared to belong.

There was no doubt she was prepared for him to test her tonight. After all, she could read his moods, his thoughts almost perfectly every time. He had a feeling she was thinking her final test was about sharing a bed tonight. In his mind, tonight was far too special to introduce another presence in their life, if even for one night. Chuckling, he moved into the shadows to wait and watch. The plain truth was he wanted to own her and enjoy every part of their new beginning together completely by himself. He was a man after all
. And one who was very ready for more.

Moving into the shadows, Luke
stood next to a wall and coul
d see her scanning the room. She
drew attention wherever she went and watching the way men lusted after her thrilled him. There was something so very powerful and all consuming about being a Dom and certainly he was well aware the majority of women would scoff at Jezebel’s decision, considering her actions thoroughly against what women had been trying to achieve for a full century, but few understood what she was agreeing to and what she craved.

There were so many things he wanted to share with her and show her. There were so many aspects that would change as they entered into this stage of their relationship but he knew the closeness would only grow stronger. When he’d finally accepted the fact he was a Dom
,
he had to really go inside his psyche to fully understand why and his personal journey had taken almost two years. Two years of reading and talking with other
Doms
, two years of hearing stories from other submissives and why the D/s lifestyle was the only relationship that had ever made them happy. Two years of accepting the fact he could control and discipline without harming. It had been a heady journey and one where he’d learned more about himself than he ever could have admitted before. And now Jezebel had agreed to become his. What an incredible moment.

As the blond approached her, Luke could see her surprise and curiosity at the same time. Of course the man had been hand picked to tempt her into another level of submission. Kevin was a good friend and one she’d never met and while Luke would consider something intimate between the three, not as anything permanent. After all, Kevin was far too dominating. Shaking his head, Luke folded his arms and waited.
For some reason he was apprehensive.

After a few minutes of discussion between the two, Luke rais
ed his eyebrow when Kevin passed
a note into her hand. Not surprised she accepted
,
he could see her eyes flash even across the dimly lit room. Jezebel was intrigued. What would she do?
When he watched her place the paper in her purse, he eased into the light and moved toward her. It took barely two seconds for her to see his approach.

Jezebel’s hand fluttered across her lips before she brushed a strand of hair from her face, her eyes never leaving his. When he drew closer she stood tall.

And he could see a nervous tick in the corner of her mouth. “Have you been a good girl?” Taking her hand, he instantly led her to the dance floor.

“Yes, sir.” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she swayed with the music as he held her, her lower lip quivering.

“
Tell me, Jezebel, w
hat do you anticipate will happen tonight?”

“
Happen? I…well I’m not…” Her voice trailing off, she nibbled her bottom lip
, her one nervous habit
. “The contract?”

“Yes. What else?” As they danced, Luke studied her eyes and the look on her face. She was going through yet another round of emotions and with every passing phase it was like she was reliving her admission, her acceptance and her submission to him.
She remained on edge being in the same club but eve that stage of apprehension was waning.
When she tipped her head and forced them to stop moving, he knew what she was going to say but the words were much more powerful.

“I’m going to give you my life. Forever.”

Sighing, he pulled her into his chest and slid his hand down to the small of her back. They danced quietly together, enjoying the closeness until he grew too hungry to wait. “I think it’s time to go home.”

“Yes, sir.”

When they were back in her house, Luke was more than curious to see what she was going to do and say. Jezebel had remained quiet during the ride but he’d been able to read her thoughts easily. She was debating what, if anything, to tell him about her chance meeting with a stranger. For most people, the mere thought would be nothing, a passing interest. But to him this was something he had to know about her. Her flirtations in the past had bothered him, but he’d know her teasing side was a part of her and of course one that had drawn him to her months before.
In the very same dark bar.
As she continued to wrap her mind around the fact he’d taken her to the same bar on purpose, she stole
fleeting looks in his direction
, her face flushed
.

The single night he knew she was thinking about remained a sore spot between them and one
they
hadn’t talked about since the ugly occasion.
On the few occasions he’d disciplined her
, she’d accepted without question, lowering her body over his knees, but the punishment had never been harsh. On the night in the bar, the situation erupted, involving too many
flirtations and
heavy
inebriation. While he’d put her to bed without saying a word, their discussion the next day had proven to be enlightening for both of them.
The day had been the second
time she’d
actually
asked to be punished
and seeing the anguish on her face on that day had truly driven him further into his commitment of becoming the Dom she not only wanted but also needed
.
Yes, he’d been hurt and hadn’t been able to admit to her how much
,
but she knew and
had been almost destroyed because of her behavior
.
And after that everything with regards to their relationship had changed.
It was time to put the event to rest.

Jezebel stood quietly next to the dining room table, her finger absently rubbing back and forth across the seam of her mouth.

“What’s wrong, Jezebe
l
?”

Darting her eyes toward him, she
was visibly trembling. She opened and closed her mouth before turning away.

“What is it? You can tell me anything. In truth, you need to tell me always what’s troubling you in order for me to be able to help and advise. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Jezebel’s voice was barely audible.

He waited as she clenched her fist. “Don’t you trust me, Jezebel?”

“Yes, sir!” Jerking her head up, her eyes remained wide open. “Of course I do
with everything I have inside of me. The apprehension you’re sensing isn’t about
you
or about my decision
.
”