On Becoming His (15 page)

However, Luke’s amusement at Jessie’s dramatics was short-lived. The tone of her voice and her disrespectful choice of words triggered a simmering rage that rose up inside him. She must have recognized the look of displeasure on his face because she put the down the glass and bowed her head.  She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

"Jezebel, don't say another word," he cautioned in a voice laced with ice. 

As the disappointment in his voice washed over her, Luke noted the change in her demeanor.   A delayed reaction seemed to set-in at the realization she’d just broken her promise to never be disrespectful toward him.  Her shoulders drooped and the petulant look on her face was replaced with a look of – surprise. 

Damn, she surprised herself with that outburst.
“Jezebel, your behavior this past week had been totally unacceptable.  Yes, I know willful is your middle name, but this goes beyond your normal antics.  Raise you head and look at me. What is the problem?” 

Her eyes shimmered with tears but no tears fell.  “Luke, I’m – I’m sorry.  I lost a big account for the firm today because of a stupid mistake I made and the traffic home was worse than usual.  In truth, it was a bad day all the way around.  I’m just frustrated”

Luke growled low in his throat and his eyes bore into hers. “And because you’re frustrated, that makes it ok for you to snap at me?”

She blinked rapidly and flinched at the sharp edge of his voice. “Luke, what I meant …” He didn’t let her finish.

“Jezebel, hint – this is one of those times when it would be good for you to address me as Sir.”

She gulped. “Yes Sir, I’m sorry Sir. You’re
right,
I don’t have an excuse for my behavior. Should I go get the hairbrush or your belt?” She dropped her head again and stared at the floor, her entire posture one of submission.

His eyes raked her body from head to toe.  Outwardly, she appeared to have slipped into her submissive role, but Luke still sensed she was in turmoil. He knew from having read her journal, she worried that he doubted if he was Dom enough to tame her or if she was tamable at all.  He suppressed a laugh at the notion anyone could tame Jessie, she was too wild for any man to tame and that’s why he loved her. He didn’t want a slave. He wanted a passionate woman with an edge, even a degree of willfulness, but with the good sense to know when to back down and to know who owned her. He owned Jessie, but he didn’t want to break her will. He’d learned that mistake the hard way.  A submissive doesn’t have to be broken to become devoted to her Sir, she just needs to be accepted and loved unconditionally.

  Luke moved toward her, his steps measured, careful, as if he was approaching a wild animal and stopped just inches from her. Their bodies not quite touching, no more than a hair’s breadth separated them.  He leaned in close and swallowed her scent. She smelled faintly of her expensive perfume and desire. She was in need. But what, what did she need? 

He reached up cradled her cheeks with his palms and her chin sank against the heel of his hands. She titled her head to look at him and Luke held her gaze. He wanted her to see the look of disappointment on his face.  He knew her well, hunger, sorrow and lust shined in her eyes. 

“Sir, I accept whatever punishment you want to give me. Or if you want me to drop to my knees and suck your cock right now, just say the word.  Anything, please - just don’t look at me that way. It hurts me to disappoint you.”

He leaned down and gently traced the edge of her lips with his tongue. “Jessie, I’ve come to learn that administering some form of punishment is not always the best way to teach you a lesson.  Yes, there are many lessons you still must learn to become the kind of submissive I need you to be. However, there are better ways for me to teach you some of those lessons than for me to paddle your ass every time you break a rule.”

She looked at him incredulously.  “Sir, I don’t understand. I clearly broke one of our agreed upon rules, I deserve to be punished.  If you don’t punish me, what are you going to do?”

Luke smiled at her, the first time he’d smiled since she stormed into the house.  He wrapped his arms around her and she melted against him. She laid her head on his shoulder and squirmed against the growing erection in his pants.

“Well, for starters. I want you to fix me a drink. I need one.  Then we’re going to have dinner, it’s almost ready. I made a pot roast. I bet you didn’t realize you were getting a cook too with me. Then I’m going to run you a nice bubble bath and we’re going to sit in the tub together and talk.  I suspect at some point before the evening is over, you will have my cock in your mouth.  How does that sound to you?” 

She purred. “Sir, that sounds just fine to me. Especially the part about your cock in my mouth.”

“That’s my Jessie. Now make me that drink and let’s go have dinner,” he swatted her ass for emphasis.  Then he released her from his grasp and left her standing there with her mouth open. 

The rest of the evening was as enjoyable as any they’d had in a long time. When Luke told her to about the
Submissive’s
mantra, while they “played” in the tub, Jessie was delighted. They made love with her collar on and now she still held the chain as if it were her security blanket.  Perhaps last night she’d learned she didn’t need to act out to get Luke’s attention. He was more than just her Dom. He was also her friend.

Luke stole one last look at her before going downstairs to brew a pot of coffee. Jezebel needed her caffeine in the morning.  A smile caressed her face and her soft voice echoed in his mind as he turned to leave.
“I am comfortable in my collar. In my collar, I am free. I am His.”
 

****

Luke wa
s truly amazed at the way Jessie
was embracing not only the lifestyle but also the woman awakening inside. Every day she
was opening up like a precious flower
, eager and almost desperate to please him
. His love for his beautiful Jezebel
was changing as well. No longer did he
only
hope
and pray
she could learn to give herself to him completely. She simply did. Her every action and even in the way her eyes darted back and forth across his face was telling.
Laughter and joy filled their house and there were days he was left completely stilled by the woman he loved deeply. While she was still opinionated and damn willful, she was learning to obey him.
Slowly.
Grinning, he had to smile as he thought about the last spanking he’d given her, barely two nights before.

The moment of discipline had been more about her sass
y
mouth and the tension she’d been feeling at work, but when she’d raised her voice
, spouting a series of expletives,
he’d been surprised.
No, he’d been angry and had to try not to show her. His control was being tested day after day and he’d been on his own journey to corral the darker side of the man inside.
All he had to do was give her a look of surprise and Jessie had brought her hairbrush to him without another word.
When he’d taken her over his knee he sensed
her
blissful relief.
She was a handful yet he loved everything about her.
Whew.

Luke was almost desperate to get inside her head and while she attempted to talk to him more, they sometimes had trouble communicating on the same plane. She thought in colors and he was completely analytical. The contrast certain made for some rather interesting and very heated conversations.
He’d taken to reading her journal now every other day. While she’d been rather inhibited in the beginning, realizing he was going to read every word, now she wrote wit
h passion a
nd total abandonment. In her passages, and perhaps without realizing what she was doing, Jezebel was
telling dark secrets about herself and so many things she wanted to experiment with. Luke had learned more about her in
those
pages than from any of their conversations. And some of what he’d learned tickled him at times. Jezebel was a complicated and multi-layered woman.

Chuckling, he sipped his coffee as he flipped through the morning paper. Jessie’s writing style was very much like the woman he adored, wild and free. She spoke her mind
, often from
her inner soul and he was delighted she was so very telling. Her soul searching had brought out her
complete
submissive side and in turn
,
a woman much more adept at understanding her burning needs. Luke could clearly see her desires were changing, growing ever more enamored with trying kinky acts, clearly BDSM related. She penned thoughts about flogging and hungering for harsher methods of discipline. In her continuous search to find website
s
containing more information about the lifestyle, she’s stumbled on the darker cravings.
Every once in awhile she broached a subject or two and then pulled back. That’s when he told her clearly she was going to write in the journal every day.

Sitting back in his chair
,
he thought about the passage she’d written from her desk at work merely the day before.
Subconsciously, h
is eyes were drawn to her journal. She’d left the leather bound book on the kitchen table the night before
, intending on writing more
,
but after three glasses of wine she’d fallen asleep in his arms
. As he reached for it
and opened
the pages, he glanced at the clock. She’d be asleep for at least another hour. Her one luxury was sleeping in on the weekends, something he
of course allowed her. The thought of her beautiful body nestled under the covers stirred his cock.
Dear God lust boiled inside of him like a teakettle about ready to erupt, spewing forth a torrent of
molten
cream.
Perhaps he would take her this morning.
YES
, he was going to fuck her hard this morning. Period.
God, they were both insatiable in their hungers.

Adjusting
the
swelling bulge,
Luke pressed his fingers down the length of the page
and pushed back his raging hunger, concentrating on
the passage in question. Jezebel
insisted on writing in long hand inst
ead of
entering into
the computer. She’d told him t
here was something freeing about being able to write down a thought or two in the middle of a grocery store or while she was at her desk in her office. Her colloquialisms sometimes cryptic, he’d learned to read between the lines in understanding what he called Jessie-speak. Her passage from the day before was
particularly
haunting for some reason.

I want more.
I crave more. I need to give my Sir more, m
ore
of me and more of my devotion
.
I love him so much and I don’t know if he realizes what he’s done to me and for me. And
I need to give him more sex. God, I want more too.
We make love all the time yet I want more. I hunger every day.
Is that wrong of me? Is that bad? I read something t
he other day about the correct method
to hogtie a woman right here at my office while my assistant was combing through files and the thing is, I was turned on as hell.
I could barely keep from stro
king my pussy right there as Amanda
was looking through the Thompson file. If the girl in a way too tight hair bun only knew about her boss
,
I think she’d run screaming to the hills or call the cops.
How in the hell could I explain myself out of that one?

Hell, I’m beginning not to care what others think about me or if they find out. Now I’m sweating and it’s not time to leave yet. Damn it.
I can see Luke tying me up, blindfolding me in a way I have no idea what’s going to happen. I can see him taking me in every hole, filling and fucking me. Yeah, it’s crude but I want him to simply take me and use me when he wants more than he does now.
You know what bothers me? My Sir is
holding something back and I think its because I’m not good enough. I’m not the kinky girl he longs for. I don’t know. I want to ask him more about what’s wrong
,
but I’m afraid of what he’ll tell me.

So I
kinda
figured I was going to learn more and offer Sir something maybe he’s afraid to ask me. I realized something the other day and I’m curious about why. I really want to try more pain. The spankings he’s given me for discipline have been
sometimes directed and
they hurt like hell
,
but yet not
nearly
harsh enough. I know I’ve been pushing him lately. I didn’t realize what I was doing until the other day when
I saw the look on his face. UGH. The look made me want to cry. He was so disappointed in me. That was the first time he walked away from me in anger. I expected a severe spanking
and he gave me a solid one
,
but only after I brought him the brush
.
E
ven then
,
I thought
the punishment should have been
more harsh
. H
e hasn’t so much as mentioned the incident again. Only later
,
I realized I was subconsciously acting out. Or was it? Was I really consciously trying to push him so hard to see what he was going to do?