On Becoming His (8 page)

“To answer your question I haven’t had a sub in almost ten years. I’ve had two in my life and one was long term while the other was only a few months. I cared for them both but we simply didn’t work out.” Luke brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face.
“Some people think they’re very ready for the life and in truth, they merely thought they’d enjoy some play time. What I want isn’t about play time.”

“Oh. Okay.” Dear God what a stupid thing to say.
While she knew what he meant, the thought remained daunting. No wonder he was allowing her time to explore.
She thought about his answer. Luke was over ten years older and could certainly have had a
long term
sub relationship. She knew about his ex wives but there had been no real reason to go through their respective dirty laundry lists other than to acknowledge they both had a past.

“What else, Jezebel? To an
swer what you might be asking. D
o I long to enter into another relationship of this nature? More than anything but when I do this will be the right person and I hope one who will be my partner for the rest of my life.
Do I want to explore other options perhaps including aspects of traditional BDSM? Yes, but again with the right partner and over time.
” Luke took the wine glasses from their hands and eased them onto the hearth before turning back to her. “Go on.”

The rest of his life?
This sounded very permanent. She turned her head before rolling her eyes. Of course this wasn’t something simple or easy or frivolous. That she knew. Could Luke possible want her this way? The thought gave her a series of quivers.
“
Okay.
And would you…I mean… Could I? I… Oh hell, I don’t know what I mean.” Her body shaking, Jessie wasn’t entirely certain he’d understand what
she was trying to say or what she wanted. Her instinct to shut down grabbed her hard, stealing her breath. As she struggled in his arms, she heard his soft whispers and squeezed her eyes, allowing tears to slip from her eyes.
As she pushed hard against him, she
could no longer hold back her emotions.

“It’s okay.”

“
Aaahhh
!” But was it? Tipping her head back, a
strangled moan
escape
d her lips
as she continued to fight but the tighter he held her, drawing him into his chest and rubbing her back, the more she lost it. Weeping, she finally gave up and fell into his arms. As he cradled her, kissing the top of her head and whispering such sweet and very loving words, she knew she was right about the man, about their connection and about what she wanted.

She would belong to him.

Shivering, Jessie blinked over and over again as she fanned her face. He’d said little after that, simply picked her up and slowly took her into her bedroom where he made love to her slowly and with more passion than they had before
. W
hile he was always the aggressor in bed, commanding and wanting more and more of her, on that night he was simply her lover. She’d never forget the way he reacted as long as she lived. And since that beautiful night of awakening she’d
never
turned back. While questions remained, she knew then as she did now, Luke Brennan was her Dom and she would submit to him fully and completely in body, heart, soul and will. She was becoming his.

Jessie sighed and glanced at her watch. Shocked she’d been daydreaming for almost two hours
,
she had no doubt getting the report done she needed was going to mean concentrating completely. She worked fast and furiously and as she hit sent she groaned. The report was thirty minutes late. Oh hell, she was Vice President for God’s sake. They could wait for her for a little while.

About to get up from the computer, she noticed a new email.
When she
looked at the tagline
she inhaled, her pulse skipping,
seeing it was from Luke. Her entire body quivering like a kid in a c
andy store, she opened his
email
and sighed. A
s anticipated, a
contract
or contracts
appeared in front of her
, waiting
. Exhaling slowly, she licked her dry lips and took a moment before reading his note.

Jezebel,

If you have decided,
here are some terms of our agreement and one from both parties. Of course we can discuss several of them and you may feel free to add to the rules I will impose and in fact I encourage you to add those you feel you need. There are a few that I will take zero exception to and I need you to fully understand them prior to my entrance tonight. If you don’t understand,
please send me an email. Here is the list of what I require without question.

Now Jessie was shivering from head to toe. Shit. Require? Of course they’d talked about rules but now this was real, completely real. Okay, she needed a glass of wine to read this. No, she needed a stronger drink before she read the rules. One drink, maybe two tops and she’d take it easy. Convincing herself, she had to laugh all the way into the kitchen. She made a screwdriver, a very strong screwdriver, and eased back into the living room, selecting
Nickelbac
k
as her music of choice for the afternoon
.

Taking a huge gulp of her drink, she eased down into the chair and nodded several times as she hummed to the music before she had the guts to
open Luke’s
first
attachment
and could tell there were two contracts
. She scanned the first few lines and
had to take another sip
.
“Oh God.” This was serious. This was… Shaking away her fears, she continued reading.
The first one was
the
contract
he was
prepared to enter into with
her and for some reason she sighed seeing all the promises of commitment and caring, making sure she was safe and unharmed. He also
stated very clearly in the passage
that he would be consistent in methods of punishment and in ways of helping her question her needs, her concerns.
There would be a safe word but in time he hoped she wouldn’t feel the need to use it for any aspect of what they were sharing. Safe word. She knew about them in the traditional sense of BDSM but for this? Well, Luke certainly wanted her to feel like she had options.

When she finally read through his contract to her more than once, she realized she was stalling. Jessie sighed and op
ened the
second one
as she fingered the screen and exhaled slowly. The first few
rules
were simply about her taking better care of herself and about her needing to learn more patience. The last three were the ones he stated very clearly would not be challenged. Swallowing hard, she brushed her finger across the seam of her mouth as she read the three passages and then read them again and again.

1.) No open, public displays of disrespect or willfulness.

2.)
Never
force me to say 'Stop' more than once. The punishment for breaking this rule is extreme if it happens in public.

3.)
There will be times when I "ask" you to do something, you may question or challenge a mere request. However, when I tell you to do something, my direct orders are not to be challenged. If you aren't sure if it's a request or an order, you may inquire. If you are fearful that my order may cause you or us harm, physically, emotionally or in some other way, you may use the safe word to let me know that you are troubled by my order. In the end, if I still tell you to do something and you refuse - the consequences will be harsh.

“Fuck!” It wasn’t about the rules but about the knowledge he was right about so many things. Hell, she was so damn willful still. The thought gave her a series of shivers. “Whew.”
Swaying back and forth, she re
read them again before hitting print.
Jessie tipped
her head back
,
laughing and then cringing and
slapped her hand over her mouth as she felt her pussy muscles clench. Hell yeah she was turned on as hell. This was only part of her being
, her wants
and yet every aspect of her mind and soul wrapped around his words, drawing them in.

She
sat quietly for several minutes, sipping her drink and continuing to admit to herself aspects about her needs. From the way he placed his hand on the back of her neck when the were out in public, possessive yet loving, to the way he whispered in her hair when she was close to
disappointing him, she had to smile. Luke was certainly formidable in his wants and needs. There was no question about her obeying him and as she finally was ready to face so many aspects of her new life, she rose to her feet and threw her head back in near defiance.

Jessie spent a full hour in the kitchen getting every aspect of dinner as ready as possible including setting the table. As she made her second drink she turned on another
Nickelback
CD and danced around the living room in her bare feet for a few minutes simply calming her nerves. The alcohol in this sense was very good for her system.

Walking into the bathroom, she
flipped
on the light and glanced at the shower. No, this afternoon she was going to take a long bath and get ready for her new life. Turning on the faucet, she made sure the water temperature was just right before going into her bedroom. She laid out the dress carefully
, scrutinizing every detail
. Smiling, she tilt
ed her head as she smoothed her hand down the soft material. This and her heels was the only thing she’d be wearing. He never wanted her to wear panties in the house and the majority of the time when they were out together.
Nibbling her bottom lip, she thought about her recent purchase, weighing the odds of being a bad girl. The no panty rule seemed to be the one she was leaning toward, no matter how much she continued to want to tease him.
There was no doubt she honestly hoped this rule would remain. Was it on the list? Chuckling softly, she couldn’t remember.

Grabbing her favorite bottle of bath beads, she poured a capful and then added another before nodding slowly.
Slipping off her clothes, she tested the water before dipping
in her foot
. Hot but also invigorating, she eyed the razor on the edge of the tub and rubbed her hand between her legs. Luke liked her
clean shaven
and she had been lacking in her duties for a few days while he remained out of town.

Sitting on the side of the tub, she lathered her pussy and eased the razor between her legs. As she began shaving, she thought of Luke’s gorgeous face and sighed. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. How in the world could she start? What else could she tell them she hadn’t shared? Spreading her legs, Jessie simply continued shaving and when she was finally satisfied she smiled and rubbed her hand up and down until she was far too excited. Dipping her finger just inside her cunt, she shivered as her muscles gripped around the invasion instantly. For several seconds she allowed herself a moment of pleasure until she realized this was as close to completely disobeying as she’d
gotten. Luke’s term, willful. Sighing, she stopped
completely, dropped her head
and slipped into the tub. It was time to finish getting ready.

Thirty minutes later she stood in front of the mirror surveying the look.
Her look.
The look of seduction.
No, that wasn’t right. Fingering the bodice of her dress, Jessie could feel her hear
t
thumping raggedly. This was so much more than a night of seduction
and certainly not one of her control
.
“Argh!” Growling, the word brought another round of emotions thrashin
g through her entire system. Now
she had to get control. She shook her head and growled again and thought of one of his last teasing emails.
You’re quota
of growls have been met for the day.
Was that possible?
Spritzing perfume, she was ready. “Ready?” She
made a funny face
and looked at the woman in the mirror, scrutinizing. Sizing up. Not the same woman as five months before, this woman was somehow more confident and assured. This woman was the one she’d always wanted to be and yet never could find a reason to even consider. This woman was Jezebel Waters, no longer just Jessie. This woman was without a doubt the strongest woman she’d ever known.

And this woman knew what she wanted. Nodding to herself, she stepped back and smiled before heading out of her bedroom. Hearing her cell phone go off in texting mode, she swallowed hard, her nerves remaining on edge and willed herself to walk forward. Reaching down slowly, she
stroked
the plastic and metal piece before picking it up.

Fifteen minutes. Have a drink ready. Place the rules on
the kitchen table. Be prepared t
o
do
what I ask
of you
.
Be prepared to tell me the truth about what you desire. Be prepared to become mine.
Jezebel, I hunger.