On Becoming His (4 page)

My eyes clench closed tightly as I wrap my fingers around your shaft, drawing you closer to my wet heat, begging for more

My hands thrust
you just inside
, my actions reminding you
I am very much yours and that you leave me in a state that is utterly breathless

As you slip inside you lower your head and whisper…be mine forever

DELICIOUS

Delicious

Like a fresh dollop of sweet yet sultry honey butter

Rich and sinful

I crave as only the man can give

Breathless

From the gentle touch of his hand

Warm and inviting

Shivers trickle down my spine

Passionate

Our love becomes with each passing day

Enraptured and insatiable

He leaves me panting, wanting all of him

Quivering

Each time our mouths crush together, the dream so alive

Body and soul

I hunger for his lips trailing across my skin

Seducing

With each taste by the heat of the fire

Wicked and wild

The shameless dance of lust begins

Taking

From the power of the strength, the shimmer in his eyes

Beckoning and requiring

And in those lost moments I want nothing more

Acquiescence

To the man that wills me his, forever in time

Succumbing and needing

Desperate to fill me during long winter nights

Rapture

Like nothing else I have never known

Domination and deliverance

Of all of me, given to his very realm

Silence

From the moment we become lovers, soul mates

Whimpers and ecstasy

As he wraps his body around mine

Love

That spills from my heart and I am forever his

Spellbinding and stilling

Because of the man who
has stolen my heart

And now I belong

HE

He walked in

I shivered from His presence alone

A mere look

A silent glance

And my heart raced with need

He inched forward

I bit my lip knowing what was to come

A slight sigh

A touch of His hand

And my body hungered from desire

He took my arm

I felt a
slice of fear trickling inside

A brush of His lips

A whisper of what would be

And my blood sizzled with hunger

He kissed my lips

I realized what He was, what we were

A pinch of my nipple

A finger slipped inside

And my soul melded with His

He removed my gown

I waited with breathless anticipation

A slap across my ass

A rope in His hand

And my will became His alone

He tied me down

I winced from the rapture of pain

A whip that was wielded

A promise of trust

And my belief became real

He slid inside

I moaned from the blissful ecstasy

A moment of pleasure

A becoming of myself

And my trust was complete

He came deep within

I succumbed to the man, my Master

A new beginning

A final release

And my body became His

Acceptance

Friday
morning dawned stormy and somehow the ugly clouds did little to dampen her mood. Sighing, Jessie was already on her second cup of coffee and knew the last thing she needed was more caffeine. She hadn’t slept well at all from excitement surging through her.
Thank God she’d taken a few days off
of work
to be by herself, to adjust to what might…no
was
going to happen. Groaning, she bit her lower lip and shook her head over and over again as she tried to rationalize
every thought
, every dream, every conversation she’d had with Luke over the last weeks
and months
. Long nights they’d talked on the phone or shared a bottle of wine and intellectual
and very frank
conversations. The sharing had been the best part, the learning and the growing together as a couple.
Correction, as a very unconventional couple.
Oh well. She loved where they were going and last night’s discussion was par for the course.

Laughing softly, she slid the tip of her finger back and forth across her mouth remembering their very heated conversation late into the night. Swallowing hard, she eased her hand into the bodice of her dress, flicking her finger back and forth across her nipple.
Then she remembered what he’d told her about self pleasuring – not unless she asked permission. Shivering, Jessie
pulled her hand out
and sat staring at her fingers. “Whew.”
There was no doubt he’d tested her with little things to understand her level of commitment. So far she’d passed them, or at least she thought. He was at times a tough task master but very fair and more than loving. He was also a romantic at heart and wanted her
to
want him.
They would no doubt bring a third into their bed at some point, given what they both enjoyed, but he was to be her man period. Luke was more than man enough.
Somehow Jessie knew the ugly incident the night in the club was still between them
,
as if he hadn’t quite forgiven her. How could he? She couldn’t forgive herself.

Just thinking about him coming over
the next
night
was enough to make her head spin. There was so much to do from getting the house ready to figuring out what she was going to make for dinner. Not that food was going to matter, at least to her.
Eyeing the journal, she sighe
d as she re
read the last few entries. One in particular caught
her eye and
seemed particularly telling.

I’ve never met a man who reminded me in such simple ways what kind of a woman I am and in truth what kind of a woman I could be. He has no need for harsh words or false truths.
I find myself needing to learn more, wanting more and yet he continues to tell me I’m not ready yet, that my journey is only in mid-process. While I understand what he’s saying, I want so much more already.

Every discussion, every desire building in me is something so unexpected and yet I cringe when he sighs in disappointment and shiver when he praises me.
When I told him I loved him I was surprised how emotional the moment was. I always told myself I couldn’t love anyone, not completely and without reservation
,
but I was wrong. I know they’re just words but for some reason they’re very important to both of us. When he said them back to me I was in awe. Isn’t that silly? I don’t know. At my age you’d think I knew better. I like being a little bit girlie around him. I
kinda
think he likes that too.

There are so many special qualities in him and they show in subtle ways.
He reminds me every day to take care or myself, be true to myself and the
very basic idea
is something I’ve found very difficult to do. I’ve always been the one who took care of everyone and everything, forgetting my own needs, no matter how little or perhaps subtle. As I look back on my life, my loves
,
I wonder what possessed me or when I lost sight of the woman I know now existed inside
even then
.

The sequestered woman
was always strong but perhaps in a sense too strong?
I don’t know all the answer
s or know everything I need
but I do understand what I thought I knew about me existed only in a façade, a side of me I allowed the world to see. Some say I might be hiding now or trying anything simply to avoid my real life
,
but I know the truth in my heart. This is the woman I always wanted to be.

Her legs trembling
, Jessie nodded over and over again as she closed her eyes. The words were so true and so telling. Gettin
g up to re-fill her coffee
, a clap of thunder forced her to jump. Why the hell was she so edgy? Of course her rationality told her there were way too many reasons to be able to talk about with anyone, perhaps including Luke. He was kind and patient with her continuous questions
,
yet she knew what he was requiring of her. She needed to go down this path herself to truly know if this was what she wanted. For as he said, once decided, he hoped she wouldn’t feel the need to go back on her word, on the contract.

Contract
. She knew of course what that meant given her status in her profession
,
but a contract between two
people
entering into a complete D/s relationship
was more than just daunting.
This was a lifestyle change and one meant for two consenting adults. The thought gave her a chuckle. They were consenting all right. Hell, the man was a powerhouse in bed.
Whew.
Giggling like a girl, she grabbed the cream out of the fridge and as she poured a hefty amount
into her coffee cup
, she couldn’t help
but think about his hot body, preferably naked
.
Whew.
Their sex life was… Fabulous. There was no other word. He’d allowed her to open up, be completely uninhibited and she wasn’t initially certain why.

From the way he licked her and filled her pussy to the taking of her anally, every moment had been blissful. Her favorite command to date was simply the first time he
’d
told her to drop to her knees and suck his cock. There had been no hesitation on her part. She’d knelt
in front of him, taken his shaft
into her hands and spent a full thirty minutes bringing him to the point of orgasm more than once. Then he’d pushed her down on the bed, lifted her legs over his shoulders and taken her hard in the ass – just the way she loved it. “Sweet Lord.” Jessie had to grip the counter to keep from stumbling. He made her wet every day.
The sad truth was she’d never felt so free with a man and there were all the reasons why
,
including the fact she was like every other woman concerned about her body
,
but there was more.

At forty-five years old she’d never had an orgasm with a man being inside of her. She’d also never had a man who truly enjoyed what she craved, being taken in the ass. The thought surprised the heck out of her initially given everything she’d read but the truth was right there. After how many men shying away from just about everything kinky, she finally resigned herself to vanilla sex. Boring. Sighing, she had to remind herself being with Luke wasn’t entirely about sex. This was about c
ontrol and trust and… “Shit.” Her continued questioning
seemed
like
she was trying to convince herself again this was right
,
but that wasn’t it at all.

As she sat back down at the table, Jessie thought about their heated conversation the night before and couldn’
t help but smile and then dropped her head as a series of tremors skated down her back
. The last words he’d said were something to the effect of the list of her indiscretions were growing.
Lordy
, he was
intense in his desires, his hungers and there were times she completely forgot he was the one in charge. Swallowing hard, she sighed as she thought about him, about his voice
, his mannerisms
. Every time they talked he sent tremors coursing through her body. The man just did it for her.
Still, the word
“
willful
”
eased from
his lips over and over again. While she’d never thought of herself in such a way, perhaps he was right.