On the Edge (17 page)

“Well, Miss. Wilkinson, you have some trauma to your cervix.  Were you having sexual intercourse prior to the bleeding?”

“Yes,” I respond, sheepishly.  Jason doesn’t say a word but I can hear what he is thinking based on his body language.  He’s thinking that he would not have used the word ‘sex’ but that rape was the word he would have used to describe what Tommy did to me.

“Well, your cervix is bruised.  Let’s check on these babies and see how they’re doing.  I’m confident that they are alright, but we will do an ultrasound to put your mind at ease.  Since you have cervical trauma, I will perform an ultrasound over your belly.”

I breathe a sigh of relief.  I really don’t think I could handle a transvaginal ultrasound tonight.  He puts the gel over my belly, “It shouldn’t be cold.  I had it in the warmer.”  He wasn’t lying.  The gel is very warm.  He put the wand over my belly and we see two little babies.  They are only slightly bigger than they were last week.

“Hmm,” Dr. Hubert mumbles.

“What’s wrong, doctor?”

“Well, the babies are
fine.  They are growing well, but we will have to keep a very close eye on you throughout the pregnancy.”

I look at Jason and see complete concern on his face as he is staring at the image on the ultrasound machine and then looking between me and the doctor. 

“Why?” Jason finally asks.  It seems that I have lost my voice and couldn’t form the word needed to get some answers from the doctor.

“Well, it seems that
Miss. Wilkinson is carrying identical twins.  The way I know this is because the babies have their own outer membrane, this is the sac around the baby, but they seem to be sharing a placenta.  About two thirds of identical twins share a placenta; however, this can be dangerous because their cords can become entangled and prevent flow of blood and nutrients to one or both babies.  Right now, I’m not concerned but I would like to put her on bed rest for the next four weeks.  Also, I will be performing ultrasounds with every visit to monitor their growth.  It’s ideal to keep babies in-utero for thirty-seven weeks, but most times, monochorionic diamniotic twins, which are the twins you’re carrying, are usually delivered earlier than that,” Dr. Hubert explains.

“Are they going to be alright, doctor?  I’m quite a
ttached to these buggers,” I ask looking at the image of my little ones on the monitor.

“I’ll monitor you very closely and we will do everything we can to keep them thriving in the womb for as long as we can.  So long as you rest the next four weeks and eat properly and take your prenatal vitamins, I don’t foresee any issues with the pregnancy.
  Now, I’m going to work on your discharge papers.  Feel free to go ahead and redress yourself.”

He removes his gloves and washes his hands before reminding me to keep to bed rest for the next four weeks and to schedule a follow-up with him then. 
Jason helps me off the exam table and reaches for my clothes and places them on the table that I just occupied.  Jason kisses my cheek as he pulls the privacy curtain closed to allow me to dress.

The doctor was very reassuring but I am still concerned for my baby beans that are growing within me.  Why do they have to be sharing a placenta?
  As I finish getting dressed, I open the privacy curtain and I see a single tear fall from Jason’s eye.  Oh my God, what did I say to make him cry?  “Jason, what’s wrong?” I say as I go to stand next to him.

He stands to allow me to sit, “Nothing.  I’m just g
lad you’re alright.  Seeing your babies on the monitor made all this real.  Abigail, there is more to you than just the woman standing in front of me.  There are two more little beings that are half of you.  I know you don’t love me like I love you but you have to understand that the love I have for you, and now those babies growing within you, is real and no matter the circumstances, I have a strong desire to keep all three of you safe and protected.”

“Jason, I never said I didn’t love you and that your feelings weren’t reciprocated.  It’s just that I’m in a love triangle of sorts.  Tommy will always be a part of my life since we created these two lives together and I have to give him the opportunity to adjust and change into what the babies and I need.  I can’t just walk out on him.”

Jason looks up at me.  “Abigail, are you saying that you feel the same toward me as I feel toward you?”

I nod my head, “Yes, I am Jason.  I love that you are sweet and caring and that you love my babies.  However, I think you failed to hear that I also love Tommy and these babies are his and I need to give him a chance to change into what we need.”

Jason gives me a hug and whispers, “But I’m already what you and those babies need.  I’ve accepted these babies that aren’t biologically mine more so than their father has.”

Our conversation ends when t
he nurse comes in with my discharge papers and a wheel chair.  I sign and climb in as she pushes me to the front entrance.  Jason left as soon as the nurse came in to get Mike’s car.

  We ride home in silence.  The
only sound is from the radio.  ‘Catch My Breath’ by Kelly Clarkson is playing through the speakers and I can’t help but start to sing the lyrics.  Jason glances at me and I catch a glimpse of a smile form on his face.  I ignore the embarrassment building inside me and continue to sing until we pull in the driveway.  Mike and dad pull in behind us in my car.  “Abigail, baby are you alright?” I hear my dad call.

“Yes Daddy, I’m fine.  I just need to be on bed rest for a month and the babies need to be monitored closely until I deliver.”

“Mike and I got your stuff.  Tommy wasn’t home when we got there but he arrived as we were leaving.”

“Did you say anything to him?”
I ask out of curiosity.  I know how pissed my brother was when he left and if he told Dad all the things that happened between Tommy and I, I’m sure the confrontation would not have been a nice one.

“No, we just kept going.  I’ll deal with him later.  I don’t want you going back to him, not anytime soon at least.  I want you to recover here and take things slow with him.  You barely know him and I think it’s too soon to move in together.”

Dad gives me a kiss and heads to the front door carrying my bag.  Jason is standing next to me with his hand out offering me help, which I take.  I look over at Mike and he’s angry.  “Mike, did you tell Dad that Tommy slapped me?”

“I should have, Abigail.  I really should have, but no, I didn’t tell Dad.  I’m telling you, if he lays a hand on you again, it will be the last time because I’ll kill him myself!”

“Hey, your sister just had a scare.  Let’s give her a day or two to rest before we rush off and start killing people, man.  Do you want to carry her in or should I?”

“Hey, I can walk ya know?!”

“Shush, you heard the doctor, bed rest for you and those babies,” Jason reminds me.

“I’ll carry her in, Jason.  She’s my sister and I should be the one to make sure she gets to bed in one piece.”

I love these two men.  No matter how stupid I am or what I’ve been through, they can always put a smile on my face and make the bad seem not so bad after all.

I’m lying in bed with all my loved ones around me.  I’m so sleepy that my eyelids begin to droop down on their own.  I’m able to mutter, “The babies are identical twins,” before the sandman takes me and I’m asleep.

Chapter Fourteen

The sunlight feels warm against my face as I wake late the next morning.  It feels wonderful to wake in my childhood room.  The past week has been hell with Tommy and I finally feel a sense of safety and normalcy.  I stretch my hands above my head and realize that I desperately need to use the restroom.  I get up as my mother is walking in.
 
“Darling you have to stay on bed rest.”

“Does that mean I have to wet the bed?” I ask as I chuckle.

“Oh, yea, you can use the restroom.  Jason is making you some breakfast.  Would you like to eat it in your room or on the couch?”

“I would like to eat in the living room, please.  I don’t want to stay in my room all day.”

“Ok darling, when you’re done using the bathroom meet me in the living room and I’ll get you all settled.”

After using the restroom I make my way to the living room.  My mom has taken my pillows and placed them on the couch along with a throw blanket.  My mom is far too good to me.  I hope that I’m as good of a mother to my babies as mine is to me.

I’m just getting comfortable when Jason comes in with a breakfast tray.  He places the tray over my legs and shoots me a smile before sitting at the end of the couch and putting my feet in his lap. 

“I tried to make sure you had everything from the food pyramid.  You have 12-grain toast with some peanut butter and honey, a bowl of fresh fruit, and a glass of whole milk. I also got your vitamin for you and your nausea pill.  Is there anything I’m forgetting?” He asks.

“No, Jason.  This is wonderful.  Thank you so much.  I usually make breakfast so not having to do that feels great.”

“Well, you won’t be cooking for at least four weeks, so I hope you enjoy being waited on hand and foot.”

“I could get used to this for sure,” I smile at him.  “Where’s Mike at?”

“Your brother is visiting with Katherine.  We’re moving into a three bedroom house a few blocks over today so he’s visiting with her before we head back to Bayford to load up the rental truck.”

“Oh, do you guys need any help?” I ask before I realize that I am no help to anyone right now.

He arches his eyebrow, “And what do you think you could do besides lay on our cou
ch and supervise?” he questions with a smile on his face.

“Never mind, I forgot that I’m worthless to everyone right now.  I’m just a blob that has to be waited on,” I say as I pout.  I really do feel awful and worthless.  I hate being a burden to people and that’s exactly what I am right now.

“Abigail knock that shit off, right now!” Jason orders.  “You are not worthless.  You are growing two babies and they need you to stay off your feet and take it easy so they have a chance at life.  That’s not worthless.  That’s the most amazing thing anyone can do.  Now eat your breakfast while enjoying a foot massage.”

Oh, I could totally get used to this.  I eat and watch television as Jason massages my feet.  Will my toes turn into sausages by the end of this pregnancy?  I’ve heard women complain of that.  Boy, I hope that doesn’t happen to me.

Dad walks in as Jason is taking my empty tray back to the kitchen.  He was supposed to return back to work today.  What the heck is he doing home?  “Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

“I’m doing good, dad.  Why aren’t you at work?”

“Well, I decided to take another week off to take care of you.  Your mom needs to be with Mike and Jason to make sure they pack stuff right. She will also be helping them clean the apartment so they get their deposit back.  We don’t want you being left alone.”

“Well, I could have called Katherine to sit with me.  I hate that you have to take time off of work for me.”

“Abigail, you’re not the problem.  Someone needs to be here in case Tommy comes by or calls.  I know Katherine loves you but that girl couldn’t fight her way out of a wet paper bag and we need to keep you and those babies safe.  Jason told us about your pregnancy being high risk since my grandkids decided to start sharing in the womb.  It’s still my job to keep you and those babies safe.”

Tears begin to fall as I listen to my father.  He loves me
and
my babies.  My dad is determined to help this pregnancy make it to term.  Why is it that the father of these little beings wanted me to murder them but my father is determined to see them make their entry into this world as safely as possible?  I will never understand it.  “Why are you crying?” Dad asks.

“I’m just so blessed to have such a great family.  Everyone has been so accepting and loving.  Tommy wanted me to have an abortion when he heard about the babies and you never even suggested it.  I just don’t understand how the father of these precious babies could want to end their lives before they had a chance to live.”

“Honey, Tommy bringing that up wasn’t right but I’ll be honest with you.  When you told me you were pregnant, abortion crossed my mind too.  I know what it’s like to raise children and, if you’re not ready for parenthood, I’ve seen what happens to unwanted children after birth.  That’s far more gruesome.  See, the difference between me and Tommy is simple.  I am established and knowledgeable.  I know that you need support now and not someone ordering you around.  So, after a few days, I was able to calm down and be what you needed.”

Dad comes over and kneels down and places a kiss on my forehead.  I’m trying not to get worked up but it’s hard with all these hormones.
  “Don’t cry princess.  No reason to cry.  Look at all the love you have right here,” he says as he bends next to my ear.  “And, if you ask me, you have a fantastic young man in the other room that loves you.  Everyone can see it.  You are loved more than you think you are.”

With that, he gives me one more kiss and walks back to his room.  Dad loves to be in control of the television so he’ll probably spend most of his time watching the boob tube in his room while I control the one in the living room. 

             
            
 
*   *   *

A couple of hours have passed before my mom and Jason come back in the living room.  Mom has her purse and Jason is carrying some water.  “Honey, we’re heading out now.  Mike and Katherine have already headed to Bayford.”

That’s right, the guys are moving home today.  “Oh ok, Mom.  Be safe.”

“I brought you some water and your dad will bring your lunch when you’re hungry.  I made you an egg salad sandwich.  All he has to do is plate it and you’re ready to eat,” Jason explains as he places the water on the coffee table and gives me a peck on my cheek and they turn to head out.

I’m watching some mystery movie that I found while channel surfing when my cell phone rings.  I reach over and check the caller ID and see that it’s Tommy.  I really don’t want to fight with him but I know that he’ll get mad if I don’t answer the phone.
  “Hello,” I say, as I answer the phone.

“Where the hell are you?”  He asks angrily.

“I’m at my parents’ house.”

“So, you decide to leave me in the middle of the fucking night?  That’s real mature Abigail.”

“I didn’t decide to leave you.  I was having complications with the pregnancy and you were nowhere to be found.  I had to call my brother to come get me and take me to the hospital.  And, if anyone left anyone, it was you who left me.  You got what you wanted and then you left me alone.  So, do
not
start judging me unless you want to be judged, Tommy!” I exclaim to him as I feel my heart beating faster within my chest.

“So, your brother was able to drive both his car and yours?” He growls at me.

“Why is it any concern to you?  You hurt me and then left me when I needed you the most.”

“I didn’t know you were hurt.  I left because I needed to get away from you just as you needed the weekend away from me.  And what, they couldn’t bring you home to me after you were discharged?”

“No they couldn’t.  I need bed rest and I won’t get that staying with you!  And furthermore, I don’t want to stay with you anymore.  You have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality and I can’t keep wondering which one I’m going to encounter each day.” I scream into the receiver.

My dad must have heard me because, before I know it, he’s at my side grabbing the phone from my hand.
  “Tommy, you need to calm down.”

I can only hear my dad’s side of the conversation.  I don’t know what Tommy is saying but I’m sure he’s probably not very happy.
  “I understand you’re not happy, Tommy, but screaming and yelling isn’t going to rectify the situation.  Why don’t you calm down and think about things for a few days.”

Tommy is speaking now since my dad is quiet.
  After some time, Dad starts talking again.  “I understand Tommy.  Why don’t you come over Friday, let’s say six o’clock, and we can all sit down and talk like reasonable adults.”  There is another pause before my dad ends the conversation with, “See you then Tommy,” then he hangs up and hands the phone back to me.

“Tommy is going to take the rest of the week to calm down and wrap his head around some things before we all sit down and talk.  You don’t need that stress Abby.  If he calls again or text messages you, holler for me and I’ll deal with it again, princess.”

“Thank you daddy, he was really upset with me and I couldn’t get him to calm down.”

“Well, we will be talking to him on Friday and I’ll make sure that Mike and Jason are here just in case he gets out of line.  Abby, I don’t know a lot about Tommy but something isn’t right.  I don’t think this is stress.”

“I don’t know him that well either, Dad.  Maybe he doesn’t handle stress well because of his upbringing in the foster system?”

Dad shrugs as he makes his way to the kitchen.  I hear him fumbling in drawers and cabinets before I hear something fall.  It sounds as if whatever it was broke.  A few choice words escape his mouth before he reappears with my lunch on a paper plate.  I guess the sound I heard was a glass plate breaking.  I chuckle a little as I accept the plate from my dad and begin to eat my lunch while continuing to watch the movie on television.

             
            
 
*   *   *

The week drags by.  Every day is the same routine.  I get up late, eat breakfast on the couch, watch television or read, eat lunch, work on a crossword puzzle or two, take a nap, eat dinner, watch more television but this time in the company of my family or Jason and then go to bed.  My routine is a bit different today, however.  Tommy is supposed to be here tonight.  I decide that I want to get dressed in street clothes and do my hair and make-up. 

Mike and Jason are over for dinner an hour before Tommy is supposed to arrive.  Mom lets me eat at the table with the rest of the family instead of in lying position on the couch.  This feels so good.  Mike wanted to sit next to Mom tonight so I am between my dad and Jason.  Mom made her homemade chili with cornbread.  It’s so good that I have seconds and thirds.  I almost out eat the guys, but they have four helpings.  My belly couldn’t handle another bowl.

Before I know it, the mess is cleaned up and the doorbell sounds.  It’s a few minutes after six and Tommy has arrived.  I have to admit, I’m a bit nervous about this meeting.  I probably shouldn’t have eaten so much.  Mike and Jason put their hands on my shoulder before exiting to Mike’s old room.  Dad doesn’t want them around to agitate Tommy but he does want them within calling distance in case we have an issue.  My dad has gone a little more overboard than I think he needs to.  He has his service weapon in its holster with his shirt covering it.  “Good evening, Tommy.  Come in,” my dad says as he opens the door for Tommy to enter.  “Please, make your way to the dining table.”

I’m sitting at the table facing the kitchen so I can see Tommy enter.  He looks better today.  He reminds me of the man that I met at the mall the last week of February.  We have been through so much in less than four months than most couples go through in a decade.  I am glad my parents are here because they are going to lay the rules down with Tommy so that I can recover and the babies stay safe.  The end goal is for me to move in sometime after summer so we can adjust before the babies make their arrival at the end of December or the beginning of January.  Mom is sure I won’t make it to my due date since I’m carrying multiple babies.
  “Take a seat Tommy.  Anywhere you like is fine by me,” my dad says.

Tommy takes a seat next to me.  I see the worry in my dad’s eyes but he doesn’t say anything and takes his place at the head of the table.  Mom sits across from me with a warm smile on her face. 

“Tommy, we asked you here to talk about the situation that you and Abby are in,” Dad starts the conversation.  “We understand that an unexpected pregnancy is a scary thing to be faced with but we also know that what is done can’t be undone.  We have all accepted that these babies will be making their appearance after Christmas but it seems as if you have not come to terms with their pending arrival.”

“Sir, I am under a great amount of stress.  You can only imagine how shocked I was when I heard that I was going to be a father and I received a double shock when we discovered that there were two babies.  Yes, I didn’t take the news well.  I am the only one with a job and I fear that I will not be able to provide the necessities for my children and, since I grew up in foster care with nothing, I want to be able to give my children what they need.”