On the Edge (13 page)

Two hours later, there’s a knock on my room door. Through the peephole, I see Bruce with one of his guards. I unlock the door.

Bruce follows the guard into the room. He takes one look around and says, “You won’t be staying here anymore.”

“I figured. My bag is already packed.” I point over at the bed.

“Tom, get her bag.”

“Where are you taking me?” I ask as I follow the men from the room.

“You’re coming home.”

“But–” I start to protest.

“Cole has been banned from my home.”

“What? Why would you ban your son from your home?” I ask perplexed.

“That little shit completely disrespected you in public last night. That is not the way you treat the woman you’ve declared as The One. I never whored around on his mom, and I expect him to have the same respect for the woman who he claims.”

“Um, I’m not sure what to say to that.”

“Don’t worry. He’s been ordered to stay away from you. He knows that he can only talk to you if you want to talk to him. You’re now under my protection, not my son’s.”

Well, all right then
. I’m not sure what to do with that. I sit quietly in the back of the car with Bruce, twisting and turning my hands around each other. This is becoming a habit since I’ve been with the Knights. I yank my hands apart and sit on them, refusing to become some girl who acts stupid over a guy.

“We need to talk about some things, as well, Kat.”

I turn to face Bruce. “Like what?”

“Well, I have some paperwork in my office from UCLA that you need to look over.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s simple. You have scholarships paying for tuition and books. I’ll provide the rest. I’ll cover your room, food, and whatever else you need while you go to school.”

“Why?” I can’t help but ask Bruce.

“I like you, girl. Whether you’re with my son or not, you’re family. I think you’ll go far in life and I’m willing to support you in it.”

Tears pool in my eyes at Bruce’s words. I can’t believe this man is still willing to take care of me. I thought for sure I was on my own when I lost Cole but maybe I’m wrong. The rest of the ride back to the Knight mansion is silent. Bruce is giving me time to digest and process what he’s told me. I will never be able to thank Bruce enough for what he’s doing for me. I’m stunned that I won’t have to struggle through college. Basically, Bruce is doing everything to make sure I can focus on my studies and I won’t disappoint him. I will do everything in my power to make sure that Bruce is proud of me.

As I walk through the front door of the house, I take in my surroundings and admit to myself that I’m glad to be back here. I feel safe and loved here, Cole or no Cole.

A little voice interrupts my musings.

“Kat you’re back.” Seth comes barreling out of the family room. I stoop down and he runs straight into my arms. I wrap him in a hug. I’m so thankful that I have this now. How will I survive without this family now that I know what it’s like to be with them?

“Did I hear someone say Kat?” Justin saunters out of the family room and props against the doorframe. I admit he looks good standing there, not as good as Cole, but still one hot piece of man candy. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks,” I say quietly, still holding Seth close to me.

“Next time, don’t take off.” Then he turns and walks back into the family room. I carry Seth up to my room. I’m thankful to be back, no matter how much I shouldn’t be. Seth sits on my bed playing with a pillow and talking my head off while I unpack my bag, but I can’t keep the smile from my face. I love this little boy to death.

“Daddy said you just went to spend the night at a friend’s. Did you have fun?”

“It was okay, but I missed you terribly.”

At four, he doesn’t need to know what a douche his older brother is.

“Cole was mean to you. I heard Daddy yelling at him this morning in the office. Daddy told Cole he can’t come back until you aren’t mad at him anymore.”

Okay, so maybe the little bugger knows more than he should. I turn to look at Seth and he is watching me much like his brother or father would.

“Yes, Cole and I had a fight, but don’t you worry about it. I’m back here, and hopefully, Cole and I can be friends again.”

“I want to kick his ass,” Seth says, anger coming out in voice.

“Seth, you can’t say that,” I say sternly while fighting back the laughter. As I study his little face, my door is thrown open.

“Bitch, what the fuck?” Julie yells as she comes in the room.

“Oh, Julie said bad words too, Kat,” Seth says.

“Yes, she did. Julie, you can’t say words like that,” I say, barely containing my laughter.

“Sorry,” she says while looking at her little brother. “Hey Seth, can I talk to Kat alone?”

“Yes, but Kat, come get me from my room when Julie’s done with you.”

“Deal, lil man,” I say as he scoots off the bed and runs out the door, slamming it behind him.

“If you ever fucking leave like that again, I will hunt you down and cut you,” she yells at me as soon as we’re alone. I can’t help but start laughing. This is priceless, her threatening to cut me.

“I think I might do it just to see you cut me,” I say, still laughing.

“Shut up,” she says while throwing a pillow at me that I catch before it hits the floor.

“I’m glad you called Daddy and came back.” Julie finally says.

“Me, too. I would have missed you so much.”

“I’m sorry my broth–”

“Don’t,” I interrupt. “I don’t want to talk about him. I can’t deal with him right now.”

“Okay, sorry, I won’t bring the jerk up until you do.”

“Thanks. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to take a good shower that’s not in a dingy hotel bathroom with real shampoo and conditioner and not that cheap shit.”

“Sure.” She hugs me, squeezing me tight to her.

“I missed you, too, Julie,” I whisper.

When she walks out, I lock the door, press my back up against it, and slide down to the floor. Sobs overtake me. That thing is, I’m not sure exactly why I’m crying. Is it because this family still wants me? Is it because I’m in love with Cole and he hurt me? I don’t know but I sit there on the floor and let it out. When I finally feel cried out, I pull myself off the floor, make my way to the bathroom, and start the water.

After taking a good, hot shower, I dry off and slip on clean clothes. I set out to find Seth like I’ve promised but before I reach his room, the door to Justin’s room opens. And before I know what’s happening, he reaches out, grabs my arm, and yanks me into his room.

“Are you okay?” Concern laces his voice, but the underlying tenderness surprises me.

“I’m fine, Justin. You know I can take care of myself.”

“Kat, I heard you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I came upstairs and heard you crying.”

I look around his room, taking in all the posters of naked and half-naked women.
Typical boy.
It makes me want to smile.

“I’m fine. I just had to get it out of my system I guess. I’ll make it. I can fall out of love just like I fell into it,” I blurt out. This is the first time I have admitted out loud that I love Cole. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

“Let me know how that works for you. I want to learn the secret on how to do that,” he says, a little tense.

I realize right then that Julie’s right. I feel slightly uncomfortable with knowing that Justin has some type of feelings for me. I don’t know how to deal with that, especially right now, with what’s going on with Cole. Justin makes me realize that it won’t be as easy to get over Cole as it has been with other guys in the past. This is going to be a constant struggle for me. I need to get away from Justin and put some distance between any drama and myself.

“I need to go get Seth before he thinks I forgot him,” I say.

“Sure, Kat, but if you need anything, even if it’s for me to hit my asshole brother, let me know,” he says. I know his offer is sincere.

“It’s okay, Justin. If and when I decide to do something about Cole, I’ll be the one taking care of it. Including punching him in the face,” I say, feeling a little more like my old self than I have in a while. I make my way down the hall to Seth’s room. When I walk in, Seth looks up from his Legos

“Kat, you came,” he screams while jumping up and grabbing my hand. He attempts to drag me across the room, but doesn’t realize that it’s only because I’m willing to go with him that I’m actually moving. He takes me to the overstuffed, blue loveseat in the corner of his room where the TV and game system are.

“I want us to watch a movie, Kat,” he says.

“All right. Pick out what you want to watch and I’ll set it up for us.”

After looking through hundreds of cases, he brings
Transformers
to me, and I put in the player. We settle on the loveseat and he snuggles into my side. We’re not even thirty minutes into the movie when I realize that Seth has fallen asleep on me. I continue to watch the action on the screen, allowing it to numb my mind. I’m so caught up in the movie that I’m not thinking about any of the crap going on. It’s not long before I drift off myself.

I’m not sure how long Seth and I sleep, but when I wake up, Julie is standing over us.

“Y’all look cute,” she says.

“Ha.” I snort as she lifts Seth up, carries him over to his racecar bed, and places him in it.

“My dad wants to talk to you in his office.”

“Okay. Thanks Julie.”

I go down to Bruce’s office, unsure of what he wants to talk about, but with a feeling it’s about college and Cole. One, I’m excited to talk about, but the other, not so much. I’m not rushing, but I’m not dragging, either. I need to talk to Bruce, but I dread having this conversation. I scan the paintings as if I really am interested in them. It’s just a way to distract me. I’m so confused and unsure about life right now.

I knock on the office door and hear, “Come in,” muffled by the thick door. I turn the handle and step into the office.

“Katarina, come. Sit!” Bruce orders.

As I sit across the desk from the man who has become a father to me in these last couple of months, my palms dampen and my heart races. I’m not scared of Bruce, but nervous about what he’s going to say to me. The stack of papers he pushes towards me are concerning UCLA.

“Thank you for helping me,” I say, wanting Bruce to understand fully how thankful I am for the opportunity he’s giving me.

“I’m happy to do this, and I’m sure you won’t let me down.”

“No, I’ve always wanted nothing more than to get out of this hell hole and make something of myself. I promised Drew a couple years ago that I would.”

“What about Cole?”

I knew this question was coming. There are so many ways to answer this.

“I don’t know. The angry part of me wants to say fuck him! The part of me that loves him wants to stay with him forever. But the thing with the chick last night crossed the line for me.”

“You know when you left, he threw her off and went after you.”

“It doesn’t matter, and you know it. Isn’t that why he’s banned from the house now?”

“I just thought you should know. He started after you, and Drew and Justin stopped him. They knew you needed to get away.”

“I did need to get away,” I say as I flip through the admissions and financial paperwork I need to take UCLA from a dream to reality. “I will get through this paperwork and get it back to you in a couple of days. Is that good?”

“Yes, now what about my son?” he asks. His eyes bore into me to attempt to assess my feelings.

“I’ll have to deal with him eventually, but I can’t not right now.” I stand up, clutching the papers to my chest. “I’m going to head to my room and start going through this stuff.”

Even though I just have to go up the stairs and down a short hallway, the trip back to my room seems to take forever. By the time I get there, my heart is pounding, my pulse is racing, and my breathing is labored. I toss the stack of papers on my desk, throw myself on my bed, and let the pressing tears overtake me.

Two weeks have passed since I’ve spoken to or seen Cole. Every night, I cry myself to sleep. I don’t want to be this girl. I’m determined not to be this girl. The only way I can get over him, one way or the other, is to talk to him. Even though it’s after one in the morning, I pull my phone off the bedside table and send the text. I’m not sure what reply I’ll get, but I have to try.