One of the Guys (19 page)

Yeah I completely messed up. Now,
she was really mad at me and I couldn’t think of a way, except for
ambushing her at Bren’s, to get her to talk to me; let me explain
for my stupid behavior.

My phone started to ring, and I
quickly took it out of my pocket, hoping that it was
Chase.

It wasn’t, and my heart
dropped.

“
Hey, Lex.” I said when I
answered.

“
Hey, Logan. Where’d you go? Adam
said you took off like you had a firecracker up your
ass.”

I took a deep breath and closed my
eyes. The guys knew there was a reason I always had Chase with me;
always gave them shit if they said anything about her. I didn’t
want it to become an issue so I never told them the truth. It
didn’t matter anyway, because I suspected they had a good idea.
Especially after Lex had asked Chase to show them some gymnastics
right there in the hallway. Without thinking, I’d told him to stop
messing with her, and not to look at her. Yeah that gave the guys a
reason to mess with me too, saying that I had it bad for
Chase.

“
I, um… I went after
Chase.”

“
Yeah, I heard she left by herself.
What happened?”

“
She wasn’t feeling too good and I
said I’d take her home. She was waiting for me, and I took too
long. I was supposed to be five minutes, but I left her
there.”

“
Dude. That sucks.” He
said.

“
I couldn’t find her, so I called
her. She wouldn’t answer, and when I sent her a text, she said
‘fuck you’. I left straight away and went to her house. She told
her Dad to tell me to fuck off. She wouldn’t even speak to me, and
her Dad wouldn’t let me see her.” I blew out a breath after my
rant, and ran my hand through my hair. I hadn’t meant to tell Lex,
but I couldn’t help it.

“
What are you going to do? Do you
think she’ll talk to you when she calms down?”

I knew that wasn’t something worth
hoping for. Chase wouldn’t let me make up for this.

“
I doubt it, Lex. Any other time
I’ve been an ass, I’ve made it up to her. This is different,
though. She wouldn’t even talk to me.”

I had to swallow the lump in my
throat as I thought that Chase may not speak to me for a long time.
I had to try to get her to see me. Even if she doesn’t want to say
anything.

“
Look, give her a day or so to cool
off, she might come round. We’re going to the cages tomorrow
anyway. Take out some stress there. Maybe try calling her again
afterwards.”

Lex made sense. If Chase had a day
to think about things, maybe she’d agree to let me
explain.

“
Ok.” I said. “I’ll see you
there.”

After the call with Lex, I showered
and then turned on my TV. I sat in my bed watching some show about
detectives, and I didn’t even know what was happening. All I could
think about was Chase.

The amount of times I’d gotten
close to telling her. The times I’d gotten close to showing her.
Remembering when I’d massaged her back in the kitchen, and when
we’d played Marvel V’s Capcom 2 a few minutes later, and she’d
kicked my ass. What I did to put her off…

Being that close to her, touching
her, feeling her warm skin against mine…

The guys had interrupted what
could’ve been the beginning of something else. I didn’t know they
were coming over, and I knew right away that Matt had been the one
to let them in the house without telling me.

It was just like that asshole to
spoil things for me, again.

His constant comments to Chase
about being a cock block. I’d punched him a few times over that. It
never fazed him though, he just kept at it. He was purposely trying
to drive Chase away from me. I could see the anger behind his eyes
when she would dismiss him with an eye roll or a fake
yawn.

When he propositioned her in the
hallway, though. I could’ve killed him. He said he was just fucking
with her. I knew he was talking crap. He was trying to get her to
leave me because of him.

I knew I had to get her back. I had
to make her see just how much she means to me.

*****

I didn’t sleep
very well, and I was tired and grumpy as hell. I certainly wasn’t
in the mood to take any crap from my brother.

I walked downstairs to get my
breakfast, and I saw that he was still here, having breakfast of
his own.

“
Hey.” He said, looking up as I
walked in.

“
Hey.” I replied, grabbing a bowl
of cereal.

“
How are you feeling this morning?”
He asked.

My eyes snapped to Matt. This was
different of him. Since senior year, when Chase and I started
Freshman, he’d been an asshole.

“
Um… Ok, I guess.” I said, unsure
of what the hell was going on.

“
Look, Logan. I know I’ve been a
bit of a dick…”

“
A bit? How
about a huge fucking
boner
of a dick?”

“
Ok, I deserve that.” He said, his
hands up. “What I’m saying, is that maybe this is for the best.
Sure it’s going to hurt for while, but you’ll get over
it.”

“
Are you fucking kidding me?” I
said in disbelief. “Nothing has happened yet! You’re acting like
there’s nothing I can do about this.”

“
Maybe you shouldn’t do
anything.”

“
Excuse me? Why
shouldn’t I? Because
you
don’t like Chase? Newsflash, Matt. This isn’t
about you. It’s about Chase and
me
. It has
nothing
to do with you, and I wish
you’d just keep your fucking nose out of our business.”

“
It’s not that I don’t like her.
It’s just…” Matt looked like he was thinking about what to
say.

“
Please
enlighten me, oh
wise
big brother.” I said, sarcastically. “Because
obviously I have no fucking clue about anything.”

“
Come on Logan. What do you think’s
going to happen with Chase? You’re going to be BFF’s and stay happy
forever, and shit? What happens when Chase gets a boyfriend and
leaves you behind?”

“
What?” I had no idea where that
came from, or why Matt sounded as though he was talking from
experience.

“
Do you think she’s going to want
you around when she has a guy that gives her attention?”

Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry anymore.
Thoughts of Chase with somebody else making me feel nauseated. I
didn’t want to imagine her like that.

“
I give her attention.” I almost
growled.

“
You’re ‘friends’.” He said,
holding up his fingers in emphasis. “What kind of attention do you
think she’s going to want in the future, huh? I’m guessing it’s not
going to be the ‘just friends’ kind. Logan, she’s going to want a
relationship at some point. Would you be ok watching
that?”

I hated to admit it, but Matt made
complete sense. There’s no fucking way I wanted to watch Chase with
another guy. That wasn’t going to happen.

“
Like I said,
Matt. Nothing has happened yet, and I
am
going to fix this.”

Matt didn’t say anything. He just
shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.

I forced myself to have breakfast
before going back to my room, and the things Matt had said were
running through my mind.

Did Chase want somebody else? Did
she want somebody else to have a relationship with? Sometimes I
wondered if she’d felt anything more for me, but there were also
times were I would get a little closer to her and she would move
away. Surely, if she
did
want something more, she would’ve stayed
put?

I’d almost believed that, when we
were playing the game, before we were interrupted. However, she
hadn’t wanted me to get rid of the guys when I suggested it. It was
possible that it was because she didn’t want to make me choose
-that was so like her- but it might have been that she was grateful
to get out of the situation I had put us in.

Fuck! Why didn’t I just tell her
from the beginning?
I thought to
myself.

I could’ve saved us all of this
trouble, and she’d be with me right now. However, it could’ve gone
in the complete opposite direction and I might have been watching
her with somebody else for all this time.

There was no point in beating
myself up before I had a chance to fix things, so I got ready to go
to the batting cages with the guys. I wasn’t in the mood to go, but
I needed to get out.

I opened the trunk of my car and
got out my bat.

Walking over to the cages, I saw
the guys all waiting for me. They were watching me as I approached,
and I knew, instantly that Lex had opened his fucking mouth to
them.

Great. Just… great.

“
Hey,
Logan!” The guys chorused, and I could see Carl trying to hide his
smirk.

God
I
wanted to hurt him so bad. It was obvious he was happy about my
situation; he never wanted Chase with us. It wasn’t just curbing
what we said around her, which Chase never had a problem with, it
was that he thought Chase being there, stopped other girls from
coming over. As if we’d only speak to girls who dressed like Chase.
That was bullshit, and he knew it.

He was jealous.

“
Hey.” I replied, and entered the
cage.

I rolled out my neck and shoulders.
They felt stiff from not sleeping well.

I started the machine that pitched
the balls, and I couldn’t focus. The balls I managed to hit were
terrible.

“
Focus Logan.” Lex said from the
cage next to me. “Don’t think about anything but the
ball.”

That was easy for him to say; he
had Sian, sort of. He didn’t have to worry about losing her.
Not after the last time, when she’d asked him to
take her back. I knew something about Sian, but I didn’t want to
bring it up. I wasn’t sure if Lex had any idea.

I hit a few balls, but I didn’t get
anything more than a sixty.

“
It’s going to be fine.” Pike said,
and I stopped the machine.

Taking a breath, I left the cage
for a break.

“
Get over it, Logan.” Carl said
with spite in his tone. “The game’s more important that
Chase.”

I snapped.

I grabbed Carl buy his shirt and
pushed him against the side of the cage. Pulling my hand back, I
let my fist connect with his face.

“
Logan!” The guys shouted and began
to pull me off of him.

“
It’s your
fault!” I shouted. “If you hadn't had been such a prick, she would
only be a
little
mad at me.”

“
My fault?” Carl yelled, holding
his jaw. He spat blood on the floor. “I wasn’t the one who left her
by herself. I wasn’t the one who let her walk home
alone.”

“
You’ve been an ass to her all
along, Carl. If you’d have fucking understood it wasn’t her that
was your problem, then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“
Seriously? No matter what I said,
she was there. It made no difference, Logan. You did this to
yourself.”

“
Fuck
you
, Carl.” I snarled, shrugging the guys
off me.

I knew he was right, to a point. It
was me that left Chase alone. She’d stood by me, even with his
comments. After the last punch I gave him, I thought he’d learned
his lesson. Obviously not.

The reason I didn’t do more to him
was the fact that he knew, before the others, what was going
on.

*****

Four months
ago.

“
Jesus, Logan. Does Chase really
have to hang with us? I mean, how are we supposed to get chicks if
she’s around?” Carl whined.

I’d told the guys that I shouldn’t
have to split my time between them and Chase and that she should be
able to hang with all of us. The other guys were a little hesitant,
but had agreed. All but Carl. He’d kicked up a fuss.

“
There’s nothing stopping you from
getting girls, Carl. If you want a girl, go right ahead.” I
said.

I didn’t know what his problem
was. He was Ok with Chase beforehand, but now he was being an ass
about her.

“
That’s the thing, Logan. No girls
will want to know us, because they’ll think we want girls like
Chase.”

“
You should be so lucky.” I
mumbled.

By the expression on Carl’s face,
when he smiled, I knew he’d heard me. I hadn’t intended to say that
loud enough for him to hear.