Our Chance (29 page)

I nodded and walked to the front door. “Take care of yourself,” I said.

She smiled and then kissed my cheek, knowing that we were done now and sex for us was off the menu. “You too, Damon.”

My phone started to ring behind me. I gave Emma one last nod of the head, closed the door and went to answer.

I took a breath before I picked up. “Hey, Logan.”

“Hey,” he replied, sounding stressed. “Look I know you and Nell aren’t seeing each other anymore but I think she needs you.”

My heart started to race. Why? “What’s going on? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, physically anyway. Her mum died today, at the hands of her dad. She’s at the hospital still. Chloe’s going up there now.”

I swallowed hard. “Her mum. Shit! Okay, I’m leaving now. Do you know where in the hospital?”

“Her mum was taken to A&E, so I assume there.”

“Okay, thanks for letting me know, man.”

“No worries, I’m glad you’re going to her.”

I loved her, so I would always go to her, no matter how much she’d hurt me.

“Of course. Speak later.”

“Bye,” he said and hung up.

For a second I was frozen. How would Nell be? I didn’t even know if she’d want me there but there was no way I wouldn’t go. Even if she told me to turn around when she saw me, I was still going to try.

My muscles finally unlocked and I grabbed my clothes up, dashing to the bedroom. I chucked the old ones to the side and threw on and a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Guilt burned me from the inside out. While I was fucking someone else she was at the hospital dealing with her mum’s death.

I would never forgive myself. She needed me and I was having it away with a girl I’d met a week earlier. My chest felt tight as I dressed as quickly as I could and ran my hands through my hair. Thankfully it didn’t show that I’d just been fucked the way Emma did. But I could smell her still.

There was no time for a shower so I sprayed deodorant and aftershave and hoped for the best.

It took me twenty minutes to get to the hospital and on the way I called Chloe, who was also just arriving. “Damon!” She called, running towards me from the opposite side of the car park. “I’m so glad you came too.”

“Have you heard from her?”

Chloe nodded with tears in her eyes. “She text me and I spoke to her nan. I was on my way back from a venue viewing with a bride so I’ve just got here. I can’t believe it.”

Neither could I. Logan only knew the basics, nothing in depth that told us what went down there.

“What happened?” I asked as we walked through the sliding doors into the building, both heading towards the desk halfway down the large reception and waiting room.

“I’m not sure. Her Nan just said that her parents had an argument that resulted in her mum falling down the stairs. Apparently she died instantly but was brought here. I don’t know if we should be here or at the morgue so we need to find someone.”

“Jesus.” That was rough.

We were almost at the desk when I heard my name being called. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was her voice but it was so low and broken.

“Nell,” Chloe said, spinning around and darting back the way we came. I looked over and Nell was sitting down to the left of the entrance, staring up at us. She looked so devastated it took my breath away.

Chloe dropped to her knees in front of her and whispered Nell’s name.

All I could do was watch for a second. I was so completely in love with her, it physically hurt to see her in pain. Unable to stand back any longer and just needing to try to make things better, I walked towards her and prepared to be whatever she needed me to be.

Nell

I don’t know how long I sat in the hospital but it’d turned dark outside. That was also around the time Chloe and Damon turned up. If I’d known Chloe was so far away I… I would’ve waited here anyway. I was fine to be alone but I wasn’t ready to be alone all by myself.

I’d sensed Damon before I saw him, as stupid and ridiculous as that sounded. I just knew he was there. I croaked his name out, half expecting him to be a figment of my imagination.

Then Chloe was rushing over. “Nell,” she said from the floor in front of me, lifting my chin. “Are you okay?”

Damon knelt beside her, in front of me too. He put his hand on my knee, and I wanted to collapse in his arms.

He’s here. He’s here. He’s
here
.

I shook my head. “No.”

“What happened?” Damon asked, squeezing my leg.

“He finally killed her,” I replied, not meeting either of their eye.

“What?” Chloe whispered, pushing herself up and sitting down beside me. “Nelly, what exactly does that mean?”

“It was always going to happen.”

“What was? You’re scaring me, Nell,” She said.

Chlo didn’t know the truth. She knew that my parents argued and growing up with that was hard but she had no idea how volatile it got. The violence between them was horrendous, I don’t remember there ever being even a week of peace. They bruised, broke and bled each other but nothing changed. Every few years mum would leave and tell me everything was going to be fine. Then they’d get back together and it would start again.

“They didn’t just fight verbally, Chloe. This was always going to be how it ended.”

“Oh, Nell,” she said, “why didn’t you tell me things were that bad?”

I felt a big fat tear run down my cheek. “I didn’t tell anyone. I was ashamed. You know, I knew this would be where we’d all end up. When they’d finished fighting I would plead with them both to either just end it or get help, because one of them would kill the other. Apparently I was being dramatic but looks what’s–” I took a big, rugged breath and wiped my eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m surprised. I’m not surprised.”

“Hey,” she said, sitting closer and wrapping an arm around my back. I lent my head against hers, grateful to have my best friend here for support.

Damon hadn’t said a word, he hadn’t even moved. I didn’t know what that meant but right now I didn’t have room to worry about it.

“Can you tell me what happened?” She asked. “Only if you want to.”

“They were fighting, the neighbours called the police but by the time they arrived, Mum was at the bottom of the stairs. She died instantly. Dad’s been arrested and I’m not allowed to see him but Nan is trying. That’s all I know right now,” I said, telling her everything Nan had told me.

She stroked my arm. “Do you want to see him?”

“I don’t know.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “Okay, whatever you want. Should I take you home now?”

“I will,” Damon said, talking for the first time since he’d turned to stone. I stared at him for a second. The green in his hazel eyes was more prominent as he watched me with a mixture of pain and worry.

Chloe looked up surprised and then arched her eyebrow at me, silently asking what I wanted.

I wanted him. Of course I did. “It’s fine, Chlo, go home to Logan and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

“Are you sure? I don’t like leaving you like this, not after…”

“Not after my mum died,” I said, filling in her blank.

Wincing, she looked down. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. Honestly, I’ll be fine with Damon. I just want to sleep now anyway. Come by tomorrow when it’s all sunk in and I’m a total mess.”

Smiling sadly with tears in her eyes, she kissed my cheek. “I’ll be over first thing. You call me if you need anything, I don’t care what time it is or what you need.”

“I will, thank you.”

She stood up and gave Damon a stern look. “Take care of her.”

He rose to his feet too. “I will.”

Chloe gave me another unsure look before leaving. Damon held his hand out. “Let me get you out of here, Nell.”

I stared at his hand on the verge of spilling more tears. The sound of his voice was like coming home. This was the worst day of my life to date but he made it that tiny bit easier. I didn’t think I’d see him again, not with him willingly coming to me anyway.

I placed my hand in his, stood up and almost fell into him. He caught me. “I don’t want to go home,” I whispered.

“I know you don’t. I was going to take you to mine.”

God, he was standing so close I could smell his aftershave and feel the warmth from his body. It was so much more comforting than I could have ever imagined. “Damon,” I whispered.

“It’s okay,” he replied, pulling my body flush with his. “I’ve got you now. Is there anyone you need to tell you’re leaving?”

I shook my head.

“Your nan? Where is she?”

“She is at the police station trying to see my dad.” She was his mum after all; she was more concerned with her son than her dead daughter-in-law or granddaughter.

He clenched his jaw. “Right, let’s get you out of here then.”

We walked out of the hospital slowly and Damon practically put me in his car. I was useless.

“Do you want to call your nan and find out what’s going on with your dad?” He asked as he backed out of the parking space.

“Not tonight. Do you think he’ll go to her funeral?”
Funeral.
That hit me like a ton of bricks and I wrapped my arms around my chest as if I was stopping something from falling out. I was going to have to bury my mother.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I let the tears fall freely. It was so unfair. Why couldn’t they just get help? Why couldn’t they be normal? Why wasn’t I enough for them to get straight for?

It was getting late so there wasn’t a lot of traffic on the road so it wouldn’t be long until I could curl up in his bed. I was so grateful he didn’t try to take me to my place. I couldn’t face it right now. I didn’t want to be somewhere my mum’s picture was on a wall.

Damon reached across and squeezed my hand. I gripped back, holding tight. “I don’t know. Don’t think of that now, let’s just get you back to my place so I can look after you.”

“I don’t expect you to look after me.”

“Have you ever expected anyone to look after you?”

I licked my lips. “They looked after me. I had food and clothes and toys. But when the violence started it was like they were consumed with anger. Any little thing set them off once they’d opened the dam. I quickly learnt to do things for myself, get my own breakfast and lunch as they often overlooked it when they were fighting. They were there but never really there. The only time they really wanted much to do with me was when they’d split and I had to pick a side.”

“How old were you when it started?”

“Four.”

One hand gripped mine harder and his other tightened around the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. I knew that I was too young to have to take care of myself but so were a lot of kids out there.

“Why didn’t anyone help you?”

“I wasn’t about to tell anyone. I think they were ashamed of what they were doing. Whenever they saw me getting my own cereal or making a sandwich they’d be so apologetic. Then they’d each blame the other one for overlooking feeding their child and it would start all over.” Telling him this felt like cutting myself open. Just a few words exhausted me. “I need to sleep,” I said, rubbing my eyes with my free hand. Even just a few short hours where I was at peace would be welcomed.

“We’ll be home soon.”

Being around Damon again felt right. He was the only person I wanted to be with when I was so lost and afraid. I’d accidentally made him everything.

What I felt for Damon I had never felt before. It was so pure and so real. I loved him with all my heart. If he never wanted to see me again after tonight that would be alright because he’d given me something that I never thought I could have. I cried harder for my mum, for the situation, for Damon. He let me love selflessly.

“Did Chloe call you?” I asked between unattractive sobbing.

“No, Logan did. She called him and was frantic trying to get to you as soon as possible. I guess she called Logan and one of them decided he should call me.”

“Chloe decided. Definitely Chloe.” My meddling best friend would have been the one to tell her husband that her best friend needed the guy she loved. And for the first time in forever, I loved her for being right.

“Yeah, probably.”

“What were you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing, just having a drink with a friend.”

The fact that he started that sentence with the word ‘nothing’ meant he was with a girl. I already felt like I was holding on by a thread, adding Damon with someone else to the mix would have me falling.

“Okay,” I replied, looking out of the window. His hand became stiffer as he realised I knew what he’d been doing. Seeing other people was his right.

He sighed. “Nell…”

“Don’t,” I replied, loosening my grip. He didn’t let me get away, clamping his hand around mine, so I couldn’t move away. The journey back to his was taking far too long. I closed my eyes and prayed I could get through this.