Out of the Ashes (12 page)

“Right
, Ms. Brooks.  Well, let me know if there is anything you need.”

As the intercom click
s off, I hear George giving instructions to the deliveryman as to what apartment to go to.  I wait in the living room a few more minutes before hearing a knock on the door.  Opening the door, I gasp, “Connor?  When George said deliveryman, I assumed… Oh never mind.  Though how he could mistake you for a delivery man is beyond me.”  I frantically try to smooth my hair and wipe at my face knowing the black lines from the run mascara that are surely there as evidence of my breakdown from the evening before.

“Well,
it’s probably because I have all of this for you.”  He holds up the bags from MJ Designs which I assume contain the things I left at the office yesterday.

“Thank you, Connor.  See you Monday.”
  I try to smile hoping he will be able to look past my appearance, hoping that he won’t mention the fact that I slept in my gown to Ian.  Then again why would Ian care?  This decision rested on his shoulders just as much as it did mine.  If he wanted something more, he should have said something last night.

As I
’m about to close the door, Connor sticks his hand out. “Ms. Brooks, Celeste.  I shouldn’t get involved and you can tell me to mind my own business if you like, but Mr. Jacobs, he’s had a rough time.  So if you can be patient, I think in time you’ll see what a good man he is.”  With that he pulls the door closed and is gone.

The first week
back in the office with Ian is awkward to say the least.  After our charity ball, I spent the whole weekend thinking about everything that had happened between us.  There is a definite attraction between us but Ian has also made it clear that he does not have those kinds of feelings for me.  It was simply a lapse in judgment on both our parts and I won’t let it ruin everything I’ve worked for to get here. 

Part of me wonder
s if I should fight harder for him, if I should tell him about my feelings for him.  However, I’ve been so closed off for so long that by the time I realized I felt something for him; our short ride was already over.  I will cherish these memories but am looking forward to moving on as his assistant.  At least I’m still able to be with him most of the time, and share in his victories even if it can’t be in the capacity I want.

Ian i
s cool and collected in the office and treats me as if nothing happened during those first few meetings so I feel it’s best to mimic his attitude.  The next few months fly by in a blur of activity.  I barely have time to eat, let alone dwell on all that happened between Ian and me in those first days.  Though if I’m really honest with myself, I’m still nursing my broken heart even all these months later and just don’t have the energy to take proper care of myself.

Ian wrap
s up the build in northern California and we attend the ribbon cutting and after party.  Of course, Rebecca feels the need to attend as well but at least there are no bathroom incidents this time; well not that I was privileged to anyway.  I didn’t ever mention what I overhead in the bathroom that Friday night to Ian.  It just no longer seems important but she’s always there like she’s trying to rub my nose in her prize.  Sometimes it seems as if Ian genuinely returns her affections but mostly he seems to get more and more annoyed with her advances, which are growing bolder by the day.  I’m surprised that she can’t read his mood. Being around him longer than I’ve been, I would think it’d be second nature to her by now as it’s becoming that way for me.   But I brush it off as, after all, it’s none of my business.

The afte
r party to the ribbon cutting is spectacular though Ian seems somewhat pre-occupied all night and kept cutting glances at me.  Every once in a while I even catch him staring at me.  I really have no idea what’s going on and a couple of times went over to see if there is something he needs from me.  He only dismissed me with a shake of his head and went to find someone else to talk with.  It seemed a little rude but who was I to question it?  I just wish if he didn’t need anything he would quit staring at me.  My stomach’s fluttering with feelings that I’ve been trying to repress and every time I’m near him I feel the daggers Rebecca is throwing my way.

The trip to the west coast did make me uneasy as I had
n’t planned to return after Lauren’s death but I did my best not to dwell on it.  Plus it was difficult to say if my unease was due to my past or to my ever-growing jealousy of Ian and Rebecca.  I couldn’t tell if their relationship was progressing but I knew what her desires were regarding Ian.  Ian is a man, after all and Rebecca is a gorgeous woman.  It seems only natural that her pursuits will turn into something even if all she gets is one night as well.  I can’t bear the thought of him with anyone else let alone Rebecca.  Most days I’m not sure why he even keeps her around.  Yes, she is good at her job but she always seems to be overstepping her bounds.

Eventually, Ian and I
fall into a comfortable routine at work.  We remain completely professional toward one another as agreed.  And while I wouldn’t call us friendly, at least things are no longer tense between us.  I think the sheer amount of work that needs to be done makes it necessary for us to put those couple nights behind us.  We haven’t been overseas at all during my first three months at Jacobs’ Enterprises even though the contract stipulated for it.  Business is too busy here right now and the only project Ian’s working on overseas is the development in England.  We need to focus on all the work at hand as he said.  Watching Ian work is something I will never grow tired of.  He is so passionate about each of his projects. That passion seems to be rubbing off on me and I find myself very comfortable around him; it’s only when I’m alone and I allow my thoughts to wander back to the moments that we shared that the pain reaches out and takes hold of me. 

He really i
s a great man to work for and very flexible.  If I have to stay late at the office one night and there are no meetings in the morning, he tells me to take my time coming in.  If he’s out around lunch, he will often pick something up for me and bring it back.  He says it’s because he’s tired of seeing me eat those yogurts, as he called them but I’m fine with my lunch of Chiboni.             

I
’m learning a lot about the workings of the company too.  Things I never would have learned down in accounting.  I see first-hand all the hoops he has to jump through first with the architects and designers.  Then once the details are settled, he has the clients that will eventually occupy the space or the realtors that would sell the units to deal with.  He is amazing to watch at work.  He’s charming, passionate and charismatic which only draws me closer to him though I need to keep a very close tab on my heart.  After all he has already broken it once even though he had no idea. 

Ian
saw real estate development as a way to make his mark in the company and the world and it was a mark not left in the shadow of his father and his grandfather.  I know that is really important to him.  He loved both of those men dearly and misses them greatly but he wants to be his own man too.  Listening to Ian talk about his family and his growing company leaves me to drift back to my own memories.

Above all else
I loved my father; he was the center of my universe.  Daddy was truly a self made man; though by the time I was born, I never had to experience any of the struggles that he had when he was starting out.  He started as a small rancher but knew that he wanted to expand and do something different.  He bought his first retail store at 23 with the dream of owning a chain of high-end retail stores.  For many years that’s where he focused all his attention and eventually made his dream a reality, which is why he had me a little later in life.  After meeting my mother, when he was 40 though she was only 20, she finally convinced him to settle down.  1 year later they had me and I became his focus in this world.  A truly doting father, I remember all the business trips he would take me on with him; I knew he had to work but he always made time for me.  My last trip with him to New York was one that would stay with me forever.

I
was 18 and had just graduated from high school a few weeks earlier in June.  So this was partially a graduation gift and partially a birthday present since my birthday was also in June.  I would be starting college in the fall, though with the credits that I earned while still in high school, I would be finished in just over 3 years.  Daddy wanted to spend a few days just the two of us before I jumped into that next chapter of my life. 

Daddy
had to travel back east to meet with the stores’ ad agency.  He was working on a new campaign with the new store that would be opening in LA in a few months.  Being a boutique, this was a little different concept than his previous stores so he was nervous about the launch but he knew that Jacobs Enterprises was the perfect partner to get his new brand out.

I
waited in the lobby while my father met with Robert Jacobs.  I enjoyed the time reading and listening to my iPod.  After about an hour, Daddy and Robert came out of the conference room with another man to inform me it was time for lunch.  I was immediately struck by this man.  Finally Robert turned toward me, apologizing for not making proper introductions, and said, “This is my son, Ian.  He has just finished his undergrad at Yale and is going to be joining the firm while working on his MBA.”  I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks.  I couldn’t help it; I had never seen such a beautiful man before.  Ian’s eyes met mine and I could immediately feel the heat between us. He was supremely gorgeous and though I had just met him, I knew it would be very easy to fall for this man.  Even at my young age, he kindled desires in me that I had not experienced before.

Throughout lunch, Ian smiled politely and being at least a little closer to
me in age, made some small talk.  Mostly he talked while I listened.  He talked about finishing school and asked me about my high school graduation.  Then as if remembering himself, he told me about his fiancé, how they had just gotten engaged two months before and were planning a wedding for next spring.  While I was saddened by that news and felt the flair of jealousy grow in the pit of my stomach, I knew that I would never forget that meeting.

My memories only make me sadder.  I’m not sure if it is a good thing or bad thing that he doesn’t remember me.  I suppose it’s a good thing as then there would be a lot more explaining to do.

~

As th
e trip to England approaches, Ian’s demeanor becomes tense and more distant.  I can’t tell if he’s worried about the condition of the property or the time lines, as both of those have been his main concern on the project since he bought the property.  I guess only seeing it first hand will help him gauge what he has really gotten himself into there.  I try to brush it off hoping once we arrive and he begins with his development ideas, he will be more at ease.  Plus there is the fact that this trip has been delayed several times over last couple of months so that can only be further contributing to his anxiety.  But we are finally getting to leave tomorrow, and there are many details that need attending to.  I think I have everything in place until Ian returns from his late afternoon meeting.  “Celeste, I’m sorry to spring this on you at the last minute but I need the return portion of our tickets cancelled.  I no longer know how long we will need to be there.  It could be a month or more rather than the two weeks I had originally thought.  With all the delays, well, I just can’t say how long we will be there.”  Crap! A month or more.  Shit! 

“Okay, Mr. Jacobs, Ian, I
’ll get it taken care of right now.  Is there anything else you need?  Otherwise when that’s done I’m going to go home and let my roommate know and throw a few extra things in my suitcase.” 

“No
, that should do it.  I have the itinerary you left for me.  Thank you for the directions to the airport.  I’m sure Connor knows how to get there but thank you the same.”  He teases me; this is the first playfulness I’ve seen from him in weeks. 

“Just trying to be thorough,
” I grin as I pick up the phone to call the travel agency. 

Who knew cancelling
the return on a ticket could be so time consuming?  “The cost is not important; we just need to get the tickets changed tonight.  Our flight is in the morning.” I finally tell the agent on the other end of the phone.  “Just cancel the return.”  I hear her typing for a few more minutes.  “Okay,” she says, “I have it taken care of.  I’m sending over the new papers now.  You should have them in your email in the next few minutes.”  I wait for my email to ping then print the revised pages, placing one copy in my bag and taking the other over to Ian.  He’s so engrossed in the plans he’s looking at that I don’t think he even saw me put the new itinerary and ticket information on his papers.  “Ian,” I regret that I have to pull him from his thoughts.  “I left the new paperwork with your stack.  I have copies of everything so if you forget something, don’t worry.  Also I have your passport so don’t go looking for it.  What time should I expect Connor in the morning?  Our flight is at 10:00 a.m.”

“Hmm, we
’ll be there at 6:00 a.m. to pick you up.  With traffic and check in, that should give us plenty of time.”  I give him a smile and nod then start toward the elevator.  “Celeste,” he calls to me as I am heading to the elevator, “I never told you that night at the gala but you looked incredible.  I just wanted you to know.”  With that he lowers his head back to the proposal in front of him.  The elevator doors close on me with my mouth hanging open wondering where in the hell that came from.