Passing as Elias (13 page)

Elizabeth woke an hour later to someone banging on the front door. With a start, she sat up and stared around, confused. The banging continued. Who could it be at this hour?

Elizabeth quickly put a robe over her naked body and raced down the flight of stairs.

Bang, bang, bang.

Elizabeth became wary. She inched towards the door and picked up an umbrella that leaned against the wall in case she needed to protect herself. She opened the door a fraction and peered out. She was shocked to see Merrill on her doorstep, and opened the door completely without thinking.

“Uh … hello Miss. Oh dear, I have not got the wrong house, have I? I was looking for Mister Searson? Are you his wife?”

Elizabeth blanched, “Oh, no. I – I am Elizabeth, h-his sister. Half-sister.”

“Oh yes, I see the resemblance,” she said, looking around nervously. “Is Mister Searson home? I am sorry about calling so late, Miss, really. I just needed to speak to him, is all.”

“He is not home. M-Merrill Freegard is it?”

“Yes, Miss.” Merrill gave a small curtsey, “Do you know where I can find him?”

Elizabeth’s heart raced. Why on earth did Merrill want to see Elias in the middle of the night? Was something the matter? She could not reveal to Merrill that
she
was Elias for fear that Merrill might let slip the true nature of who was running the apothecary.

“No … I … I think he had an appointment to keep in the town over. He shall not be back until Monday morning. He often leaves on the weekend,” Elizabeth invented hurriedly.

“Oh dear.” Merrill wrung her hands together nervously.

“Can
I
help you with anything?” Elizabeth asked.

Merrill seemed distressed. She kept looking over her shoulder nervously, as though she expected someone to attack her at any moment.

“May I come in Miss?” she asked in a hurried whisper.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes upon Merrill’s face. She was frightened. It was not in Elizabeth’s nature to leave a young girl, terrified, standing on her doorstep.

“Of course,” Elizabeth decided, opening the door to its full extent and allowing Merrill past her.

Luckily for Elizabeth she had not left any of her disguise lying around the house. Merrill entered the sitting room and looked around nervously. She peeked out of the curtains and looked up and down the street.

“Is something the matter?” Elizabeth asked, following Merrill in.

“It is nothing, really,” Merrill said, her eyes as round as dinner plates.

“You seem distressed,” Elizabeth said with a frown. She indicated to Merrill that she should take a seat, which she did, but her posture was still straight-backed and alert as she perched herself upon the edge of the sofa.

Elizabeth tightened the robe around her and stood nervously in the middle of the room.

“Um,” she bit her lip, “so … it is nice to meet you,” Elizabeth said, “Elias has talked about you.”

“He is very kind,” Merrill said modestly, “a very good man. I am very lucky to have been chosen for the position.”

“I am sure you were the best candidate,” Elizabeth insisted, fidgeting nervously on the spot.

Merrill seemed on the verge of replying, but stopped when voices could be heard outside. Two men were walking down the street, illuminated through the curtains by the streetlamps. They were talking in agitated voices, and Merrill shrank back into the sofa at the sound of them. Elizabeth caught a few snippets of what they were saying as they passed, talking loudly.

“-Cannot have gone far,” one of them was saying.

“Complete overreaction if you ask me.”

“I thought she would be glad.”

They passed the house and continued wandering up the street, and their voices died away.

Elizabeth stared at Merrill, who had a look of shame upon her pretty face.

“Are they looking for you?” Elizabeth asked.

Merrill fidgeted, “My Pa,” she said finally.

“What did he do?” Elizabeth asked.

Merrill waved a hand dismissively, “Oh, Miss, he is a good father, and would never lay a hand upon me,” she assured.

“Then what?” Elizabeth said.

Merrill looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and stood abruptly, “It is late,” she said apologetically, “I must go.”

She peered out of the curtains one last time before hurrying to the front door.

“Miss Freegard,” Elizabeth said, rather agitated, “you can tell me what is wrong.”

“Sorry Miss, we only just met.” And without another word, Merrill had slipped through the door, and run in the opposite direction from her father.

Elizabeth stared at the closed door. She had a funny feeling that Merrill would have disclosed her worries if Elias had been there.

Chapter Seven

Merrill’s Problem

On the Monday, Merrill was perfectly normal once again. She did not indicate that she had had any encounter with the
female
Elizabeth. Though she did seem a little bit sad throughout the day. Elizabeth did not know when to bring the subject up. She liked Merrill a lot, and wanted to make sure everything was all right, but did not want to appear nosy. She also worried that Merrill might find Elizabeth’s resemblance to Elias a bit too uncanny.

Finally, at six o’clock, when the door was locked, Elizabeth announced that she would be staying in the laboratory for another few hours to work on some commissions for their clients.

“I shall stay too,” Merrill insisted.

“There is no need,” Elizabeth waved a hand as they ventured into the back room.

“I would be interested to see you working, sir. You are most clever. I do not understand these things at all.”

Elizabeth frowned, “You will be extremely bored, Merrill.”

“Maybe I can help?” she had an anxious look upon her face.

Elizabeth sighed, and sat down at her desk, “Merrill, my
sister
told me that you came to the house on Saturday night.” The words felt odd as they left her lips.

“I thought she might, sir. She was ever so kind.”

“She said you were distressed-”

“Oh. Just a rough night, I guess.”

“-And mentioned you were looking for me?”

Merrill did not respond to this. Instead she looked at her feet.

“If there is something wrong, you can tell me. As your employer, your safety is in my best interest.”

“I did not know who else to go to, Mister Searson,” Merrill said, her voice suddenly breaking with emotion, “I was so confused, running down the street, until I realized I was only a minute from your house. I thought I might hide inside until …”  she broke off.

“You were hiding from your father.”

“Aye, sir.” She covered her face with her hands, and seemed quite distressed.

“You can tell me,” Elizabeth said, thirsty for the knowledge of what had upset Merrill.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Merrill said, “I got home on Saturday evening, and I walked into the sitting room. My Ma and Pa were there, talking with an older couple who I had never met before. Pa introduced me, and said he worked with the gentleman and his son. Their son was there too, standing by the window. He looked perhaps thirty. I was polite, of course, as I did not know what they had been talking about. Then Pa told me they had been discussing arrangements regarding my marriage to this … this man. Said they had been working on a deal with this couple to see me betrothed to their son.”

Elizabeth felt a strange burning sensation in the pit of her stomach, not unlike that of immense hatred and jealousy. Yet how could she hate an entire family without ever meeting them?

“Their son, John I think his name was, he walked over and kissed my hand. He was dark, tall, broad shouldered, and smelled stale,” she frowned.

Elizabeth felt immense dislike for this John character.

“My Pa,” Merrill said, suddenly angry, “he has betrothed me to this stranger out of convenience for our family. He said I would do him proud to marry John Blanc for he was a successful businessman, and I would put our family in a better position for it.”

Merrill’s fury subsided, and she avoided Elizabeth’s gaze, “I thought I might be able to seek your counsel. I ran from the house, and sought your residence.”

Merrill’s shoulders trembled as she broke down into tears, and Elizabeth was so utterly shocked that she did not know what to do. Here was a seventeen-year-old girl, sobbing before her, because her father had bargained with a wealthy family over the liberty of his daughter.

Elizabeth took an almost clean handkerchief from her sleeve and handed it to Merrill, who accepted it with a sniff, and dabbed her eyes.

Elizabeth was not quite sure what to do, so she rubbed Merrill’s arm in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

“It is all right, Merrill,” Elizabeth cooed, “I will help you in any way that I can.”

Merrill broke down into fresh sobs and launched herself at Elizabeth, crying into her chest. Elizabeth, completely taken-aback by this fresh wave of emotion, patted Merrill’s hair awkwardly. She did indeed feel quite protective of Merrill, despite the fact that she had only known her a week. In many ways Merrill was a lot like Elizabeth had been at seventeen. However, she could not explain the immense jealousy that had taken over when she had heard of this John person. Perhaps, she did not like the idea of losing her first employee to a man.

“I am sorry, sir,’ Merrill said once she had gained control over herself, “I am not usually this mad, I promise.”

“I do not think you are mad,” Elizabeth gave a small smile as Merrill relinquished her hold upon her.

“You are
so
kind,” Merrill said, “I know I keep saying it sir, but I have never met a man like you.”

Elizabeth’s mouth twitched. No, Merrill had not met a man like Elizabeth before. How many men had breasts that were strapped down with linen, and socks packed into their breeches?

“I believe women deserve to have every right a man does,” Elizabeth said, “my
sister
… she has had some troubles because of her gender.”

“Has she, sir?”

“Oh yes. Our mother wanted her to marry very badly,” Elizabeth said, “but she is a very clever woman, my sister, and wanted a career. She did not wish to be a house-wife.”

“What did she do?” Merrill whispered.

Elizabeth could not tell the truth, “She … she met a man. They got married not two months ago.”

Merrill’s face fell, and Elizabeth knew she had been expecting a story of a woman’s successful battle against repression. Yet, Elizabeth could not reveal the true story, for it would lead to this very apothecary, and Merrill would know the true nature of who stood before her.

“But that is not important,” Elizabeth waved a hand impatiently, “what
is
important is that you do
not
do as you are told. You are your own boss, and you must make your own decisions in life, otherwise you will regret it forever. Could you really imagine yourself laying with this man on your wedding night … a complete stranger?” Elizabeth did not know why, but she wanted to steer Merrill far away from this betrothal.

Merrill gave a shudder, “No, sir. I do not wish to think of it.”

“Then you shall not marry.”

“I think I would like to get married one day, sir,” Merrill gave a small shrug, but I would like to decide when, and to whom.”

“And, so you shall,” Elizabeth insisted, making Merrill smile.

“Thank you, sir, but what shall I tell my father? His colleagues would be so displeased to hear the news. I fear it might shame him if I refused.”

Elizabeth did not know the answer to this question. Her mother had never forced marriage upon her – only nagged about it. Elizabeth had ultimately decided to marry in order to reopen the apothecary.

“I do not know what is best for you, Merrill,” Elizabeth said putting her hands into her pockets, “that is for you to decide.”

“With the coin you pay me sir, I think I might be able to afford to live on my own,” she smiled.

“I should hope so.”

Merrill paused, “I was right in assuming you to be a modern thinker, sir.”

“It is only natural for me to think of women as equal to men, Merrill. I hope you shall look for that trait in the man you wish to marry.”

“I think I shall.”

~

Elizabeth decided that she should frequent the Upper Baggot Street Inn at least once a week to observe the behavior of the men there. She watched carefully how the men stood, how they talked, and carried themselves. More than once, an older woman approached Elizabeth with sexual propositions, but she kindly turned them down. The barmaid came to recognise Elizabeth after a few visits, and accepted the fact that “he” was a little bit odd. The truth was though, Elizabeth was learning a lot from the men at the Inn. She learnt how to stand, and how to talk, and thought that she was becoming more convincing every day.  She was also beginning to enjoy the mead quite a lot.