Phil Parham (12 page)

In the Parham household, we reserve Sundays to cook our meals. We find this day works best for us, but choose whatever day works for you. After we get home from church, we spend a couple of hours in the kitchen preparing our meals for the week. The time we spend together is also a great opportunity to share quality time as a family. We are all together, doing something good for our health, and having fun in the process. The most time-consuming part of this cooking-ahead project is the actual cooking. But once that's done, you'll see how easy meal and snack time really can be.

We also cut up raw fruit and vegetables and put them in individual plastic bags so that they are readily available for snacks and school lunches for our kids. Then we divvy up foods such as rice, pasta, quinoa, steamed veggies, and meats in individual plastic containers so that we have them ready to take with us during the week for lunch or save in the fridge for dinnertime.

We always have plenty of chicken prepared because it's one of the easiest ingredients to whip up a quick and healthy meal. You can make a chicken wrap or a chicken salad, for instance. You can also throw some veggies in with chicken and serve over whole-wheat pasta or you can make a chicken and rice casserole.

We also like to make what we call a “healthy snack” basket for our boys. If your kids are anything like ours, as soon as they come home from school, they head straight to the kitchen to grab whatever they can find to snack on. We like to make sure they have the healthiest options available to them. We take such items as protein bars, Kashi granola bars, blue corn tortilla chips, almonds, pistachios, popcorn, oranges, apples, bananas, and pears and put them in a basket in the pantry so our boys can choose a snack that is “legal.” We divide the basket into individual portions so our boys know how much they can eat. We also make sure we have plenty of snacks in the fridge, such as string cheese, grapes, and veggies.

Another way that helps me plan and balance my time demands is making my kids' lunches at a certain time. I found it works best for me to prepare their lunches while they're having their afternoon snack. Taking care of this task the day before eliminates the morning rush.

To save time, we have also come to rely on our slow cooker. We got three of them for our wedding over 20 years ago and didn't start using them until recently. They are a lifesaver! The slow cooker is great for making soups, sauces, and stews. You can throw your ingredients in the pot in the morning, and when you get home from work, voilà!—dinner is served. It's such a relief to come home after a long, hard day and not have to think about what you're going to have for dinner.

Getting Active

So how do we maintain balance in our homes when it comes to fitness? With the busy lives we lead, we have to squeeze in activity with our boys any time we can. They love playing sports, so we make sure to keep them involved through the year in a sports activity in the community or at school.

We make activity a part of our everyday lives. If we're going to the mall or the grocery store as a family, we park in a spot far from the entrance. If one of our boys has baseball or soccer practice, we take the other children and walk around the field with them.

We also plan weekend activities that are fun and physical. Our hometown of Greenville, North Carolina, has a beautiful downtown area that offers a multitude of family-oriented street festivals, races, outdoor markets, and other goings-on. We love taking our kids there and walking from one end of Main Street to the other. An old-fashioned toy store and a general store are at one end. At the other end, you'll find a huge suspension bridge over a river. Our kids enjoy wading in the water and climbing on the big rocks that line the riverbed. We have spent many weekends walking that area and exploring the river. Our boys love it, and Phillip and I do too! This is just one of the many ways we incorporate activity into our family life.

Just Say No

Sometimes (more times than not, I've found) balancing good health in family life means eliminating or saying no to activities or hobbies that promote unhealthy habits. Remember our beef with TV and video games in chapter 5? I'm sure you'll agree that most kids today spend too much time on media-driven technology. Video games, television, and computer games take up a lot of valuable time and prevent us from being as fit as we could be.

As I mentioned earlier, our family is constantly aware of our time budget. Through some of the tips we've shown you, we have saved a ton of time (and money) planning our meals. We also saved a ton of time—time that we use toward physical activity—when we limited how many hours a week our kids spent watching TV or playing video games.

I'm not naïve. I know that my kids could probably spend the whole day in front of the big screen if I let them. And if I didn't have responsibilities, I just might be tempted to sit on the couch and watch movies all day. But this is not what builds a healthy lifestyle for my kids or for me.

We need to monitor what our kids are doing and set boundaries at home for how they spend their time. It may seem like we're the bad guys policing their every move, but guess what? We're the parents. We get to make the decisions. We get to tell them what is best for them. And finding time to be active is better for them than turning into TV zombies.

I remember when my kids were toddlers and it came time to feed them, I would put them in their high chairs, plop some food on their tray, and turn on
Veggie Tales.
I was so exhausted (probably because of my poor diet and lack of exercise) that I wanted the television to babysit them for a little while. I didn't think it was that bad. Certainly there were worse things I could have done. I look back at that time and realize that I was establishing patterns that would be difficult for them to break in the future.

If you are the mother of a toddler (or two), don't fall prey to this temptation. By training your kids to be entertained by television while eating, they will continue to engage in that pattern as they get older. And while you can break the pattern when they grow up, it's much harder than if you had never set the pattern to begin with.

So many things in this world consume our time and do not benefit us. Think about your own lifestyle. How much time do you spend mindlessly surfing the Web? How much time do you spend talking on the phone with your girlfriends? How much time do you spend watching football? How much time do you spend on Facebook? Get the picture? We must hold ourselves accountable for how wisely we use our time in the same way we enforce that behavior with our children.

When you see your kids lounging around the TV on a Saturday afternoon, shut it off and tell them to play outside. Instead of seeing a movie as a family, go bowling or miniature golfing. Instead of socializing on the Internet while your kids play video games, get out of the house and go for a nature walk together in a nearby park.

Sadly, we have become a society that spends a great amount of time doing things that don't require us to exert ourselves physically. While we can't change that culturally, we can change it in our families. Give your kids a budgeted amount of time for certain activities, such as watching TV and playing video games. Set the same standards for yourself.

It is possible to maintain good health in your family even when your schedule looks crazy and your to-do list is a mile long. It just requires making sacrifices and substituting unhealthy activities with healthy ones. You have the choice to steward your time wisely or poorly. The choice is yours. Honor God, respect yourself, and build a healthy family by making good decisions that will give you lasting rewards.

Get Your ZZZZZZZZs

Make a good night's sleep a priority. Sleep is critical in so many ways. The Harvard Women's Health Watch reported in 2008 that sleep should not be shortchanged. Here are a few reasons why getting 7—8 hours of sleep (for adults) is so important.

• Sleep improves your memory and helps you learn better.

• Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain.

• Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime, which may cause preventable accidents, mishaps, and errors.

• Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness.

• Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress-hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.

• Sleep deprivation affects your immune system, including the activity of the body's killer cells.

We don't need a plethora of studies to back this up. You know what happens when you don't get enough sleep. You're groggy. You're cranky. You're moody. And you just don't feel good. When we don't get enough rest, there is no doubt that our performance at work, school, or even as a parent is affected negatively. If you don't get enough sleep, you are apt to be less motivated to influence positive health changes in your family.

Kids need sleep too! The average kid has a busy day. She goes to school, runs around with friends, goes to extracurricular events after school, and does homework. By the end of her day, she needs a chance to unwind and prepare for the next day of much the same.

Our kids can function best only if they get enough sleep. Most experts say that kids between the ages of 5 and 12 need about 10 or 11 hours of sleep per night. Does your child get that much? If not, it may be time to send them to bed earlier.

Don't feel overwhelmed at the task of finding balance. We all have days when nothing goes right. Our best laid plans get foiled sometimes. Don't worry. It's normal. Maybe you can't cook ahead because you have to work overtime, or you can't exercise for a week because you have the flu.

Stuff will happen sometimes that is outside of our control. Go with the flow as best as you can, and when things get back on track, get back on your structured routine. Don't give up simply because you get sidetracked for a bit. Pick up right where you left off.

It doesn't matter how excellent you are at following a routine once or twice; it matters most if you do it consistently. I've found that many people are extreme when it comes to changing their life habits. They go from 0 to 60 overnight. Though they never worked out a day in their life, they plan on working out two hours a day. Though they've had poor nutrition habits for many years, they vow to give up sugar, salt, and fat for the rest of their life.

The same applies to families. Don't throw your kids into a different (and revolutionary) routine and expect things to work smoothly at first. Ease them into eating better and being more active. Take this new adventure one step at a time. If you choose to use an extreme approach right off the bat, I guarantee you will run out of steam and quit the whole thing.

If you have to go to the drive-thru, choose the healthiest item on the menu (such as a chicken salad with low-fat dressing). If you get sick or hurt and can't take your kids exercising for a few days, take the time to recover, and as soon as you feel better, take them for a jog around the neighborhood. A balanced, healthy lifestyle is not a perfect one. It's merely consistent most of the time. That's all you can ask for.

At this point, you might be feeling bad for some of the unhealthy habits you've let creep into your home. Some of you may even be condemning yourself for your actions. You may think that you've let poor health infiltrate your family for so long, it seems impossible to get them on the right track. The first thing you must do is forgive yourself. I like what author Maya Angelou said:

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes—it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, “Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,” that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, “I'm sorry,” and then you say to yourself, “I'm sorry.” If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self.

I know that sometimes forgiving yourself can seem like an insurmountable mountain to climb. I want to encourage you that it is possible! Many times I have found it difficult to show myself some mercy and grace over the poor choices I made for myself and my family. At times, just thinking about making changes made me feel tired and confused. I was so overwhelmed, I didn't know where to start.

After we came home from the ranch and realized the obstacles we had to face to transform our family's lifestyle, we were initially discouraged. But we fought the battle one day at a time, one step at a time. And dear reader, I am filled with hope and confidence that you, too, can do the same for your family.

• Plan your meals ahead of time so you can avoid last-minute, unhealthy food choices.

• Fit active time into your daily routine wherever you can. Be creative. Any movement works!

• Eliminate or limit any household activity (such as watching TV or playing video games) that wastes time and doesn't provide long-term, healthy benefits.

• Get 7—8 hours of sleep (10—11 for kids) to function at your best.