Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages (19 page)

“I really, really thought you’d freak out,” I admitted, pulling my legs up on the sofa.

“Why?”

“Because of everything that’s happened recently. I mean eight weeks ago you thought you were a year off having a baby with your wife. Then you thought she was having your baby only to find out it’s the man’s that she cheated on you with. Now this.”

His frown deepened. “Thank you for that lovely summary. And for making me sound like a prick.”

Okay, that was a lot. Jasper had crammed about a year’s worth of ups and downs, heartbreaks, one-night stands and drama into about seventy days.

“That’s not what I meant to do. Your marriage breakdown was Abby’s fault. She wrongfully made you believe you were one hundred per cent the father.”

“Still, doesn’t look that great, does it?”

Well, no.

“It doesn’t matter, Jasper. I’d just like to concentrate on the future, not the past.”

“This future,” he said, biting his lip and running his fingertips over my stomach. I stopped breathing. Why did his touch make me feel like I was floating? He was the wrong person for me. I didn’t go for cocky, womanising older guys. He was seven years my senior but sometimes seemed five years my junior!

It was the eyes. Those smouldering, grey eyes that pulled me in. He was painfully good-looking and cheeky too. No wonder he’d had so many women. Would that continue? There was no reason why not; he was single and just because he was a dad that didn’t mean he couldn’t still have a social life.

I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

“What’re you thinking?” he asked. “Your eyes have glazed over.”

“Nothing,” I replied a little too quickly. “Just trying to get my head around the fact that I’m going to be a mum.”

“You’re gonna be a great mum.”

“I hope so. Me and Brad had a great childhood, and I really want our child to have the same.”

“She will. I’ll make sure of it,” he replied.

His eyes filled with a passionate determination that broke my heart. He would give our child what he had taken away from him. I couldn’t imagine finding out someone I loved so much was a monster and had hurt someone else I loved.

Jasper’s relationship with Oakley was so touching. I thought I was fairly close to Brad before I met them. I’d do anything for my brother but actually we weren’t really that close at all. So much of Jasper’s happiness was directly linked to Oakley’s, and I know he’d do anything for her. They had the relationship I hoped my child would have with a sibling – way, way, way into the future.

“This still seems like a dream. Actually, the last two and a half months of my life has.”

“I’m sorry, Jasper. I know things have been hard for you recently, and with the divorce still hanging over you, there’s a lot you still have to deal with. Guess this isn’t helping,” I said, placing my hand over our growing baby.

“Hey, this is the one thing keeping me together. I’d planned on getting smashed again tonight. For the past few weeks, I’ve been drifting from one bottle to the next, one woman to the next just trying to forget. My life was quickly going down the toilet, and I didn’t even care.”

He placed his hand over mine.

“This is my reason to get my life together. I don’t want to be a mess anymore. I want you and the baby to be able to rely on me. I promise you I’ll be that man, Holly. I won’t let either of you down.”
The way your dad let you down.

“I know you won’t,” I replied. He was going to be great; I knew that already. He’d be there for us both and do whatever was needed to provide for his baby. I wish we were doing this properly. I wish we were together.

In a very short space of time, he’d made me want a life with him, and I didn’t jump into relationships. I was always the careful one that thought things through. My brain seemed to have switched itself off the first time Jasper kissed me, but I didn’t ever want it to turn back on because he made me feel complete.

“What about uni? Seriously?”

“What do you mean, seriously? I said I was going to take a year out.”

“I know but is that the best idea? I have no experience with these things, but I think if I took a year out I wouldn’t want to go back; I didn’t want to go back after the Christmas break at school. You’re different to me. I get that. You’re smart and know what you want, but that doesn’t mean you’ll want to finish, especially with a baby, and I don’t want you to regret that in the future.”

Okay, I could understand that, but he really didn’t know me at all if he honestly thought I wouldn’t finish my degree.

“Jasper, I’ll go back. I just have all this,” I gestured to my stomach, “stuff going on and I’m afraid that if I take on too much it’ll stress me out.”

He frowned, and I knew I’d won him over.

“I don’t want you stressed.”

“Me neither.”

“But we’d make sure you weren’t. I’ll do whatever I can. Don’t let this slip away from you because we’re having a surprise baby.”

“A surprise baby.”

“Well yeah. No offence, but I didn’t exactly expect this.”

“No,” I said and shook my head. “That’s not what I meant. Believe me, I didn’t expect this either. I mean that you said surprise and not mistake.”

“Our baby isn’t a mistake.”

“The time and mother is?”

“No. The time and mother is sort of a surprise too, but a good one.”

Something hit me like a truck.

“Jasper, do you mean the mother is a surprise because there could be more out there?”

He laughed and completely inappropriately, I did too. He had a great laugh, deep and sexy. “No, Holly. You’re the only one I went bareback with. The others I had more… self-control with. Sorry about that. I shouldn’t have put you in this position to begin with. Not that I regret it, or the outcome.”

“It’s fine. Takes two. I could have refused unless you put a condom on. I guess I didn’t have much self-control either.”

He flashed me a grin.

“Especially not when you got going.”

“Okay, that conversation is over,” I said as I felt my cheeks heat. Even after everything we’d done and the confidence he’d given me, I still felt embarrassed when talking about it. I thought that would disappear, but it seemed to be a trait that was sticking.

“Of course it is. Whatever you want I’ll support, just let me know, okay?”

“Sure. Thanks, Jasper.”

He held his arms out. “Come here.”

I climbed on his lap and curled up, closing my eyes. His arms circled my body, and he held me close.  I smiled, breathing in his perfect, unique scent.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jasper

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Oakley snapped, pushing past me. “I know that Abby hurt you and the divorce is hard, and I’m sorry for that, but that doesn’t excuse you sleeping with our twenty-year-old employee! And not to mention your friend’s sister. What were you thinking?”

“Come on in,” I said, with an irony-laden welcome gesture.

She glared.

“I wasn’t thinking, okay! That night I was a bit of a mess, and she was upset about that Harry dick. We ended up sleeping together, no big deal.” I wasn’t going to tell her it had been more than once.

“No big deal,” she replied flatly.

“Well okay, now it’s a big deal, but you’re making it out like I planned it. Believe me, I was a shocked as you are now when I woke up next to her!”

Holly was gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, but she wasn’t my type. I didn’t go for the shy ones or the dark eye make-up – it just wasn’t my thing. Past tense. I wanted her now, badly.

“Well that’s lovely. Bet she felt really special! Nice one, Jasper.”

Shit, now I’ve upset my sister.
Sex could just be sex, but not to Oakley, not after what she went through and if she thought anyone was being taken advantage of, she freaked.

“I didn’t mean it like that, just that neither of us knew what was going to happen. Holly actually jumped when she woke up and saw me. She was just as surprised. I’m not exactly who she goes for either.”

Her type was quiet bookish guys. I think the last thing I read was the back of a pizza box to see how long to cook it for.

“What’re you going to do now?”

“We’ve not got that far yet.” I walked into the living room and sat down. “I’ve gotta get a house. I can’t believe this is happening.”

She sat beside me. “You’re going to be okay, both of you. Is Holly planning to move back when the baby arrives?”

“Yeah, her parents have already marked out a room for the baby. I feel like it’s a dream.”

“Well, it’s not, so you’d better get yourself sorted out, and I don’t just mean buying a house.”

She meant the alcohol and my promiscuous behaviour.

“I know. I don’t want my kid hating me.”

Oakley bit her bottom lip, and I knew what she was thinking:
the way I hate our sorry excuse of a dad
. That was the bottom line, as much as I felt like running until I got my head around the news; I would never let my child down like that. I would never put myself before my baby.

“You’re going to be a great dad.”

Shit. I’d gone from no kid to losing one to another man, to having one again. My head was spinning, and even now I was half waiting for Holly to say there was a mistake, and it wasn’t mine.

“I hope so. I’m fucking terrified.”

She laughed. “I remember that feeling. You both have a lot of support though.”

I didn’t want to tell her I was terrified of someone hurting the baby. I didn’t stop her getting hurt. Who’s to say I’d even know if anything was going on again? I trusted my friends and family, but I’d trusted my father at one point too.

“Does Brad know?”

“Do I look dead?” Holly wanted to wait a while. I liked the idea, but the longer we left it the harder it’d be.

“Make sure you tell him. He’ll be even angrier if he finds out from someone else. I’m sure he’ll be fine about it eventually; you and Holly are both adults.”

She stood up.

“Lecture over?” I asked.

“Yes. I just come here to shout at you before meeting Cole and Everleigh at the diner.”

“Lucky me.”

“Are you going out tonight?”

“No, I have Everleigh tomorrow morning. That kid plus a hangover…” I shuddered. “And I guess I should start that sorting-myself-out thing now.”

“Yes, you should. Call if you need me. Love you.”

“You too,” I replied as she left.

“Hey,” I said as Holly walked in the door to work.

She stopped in her tracks and checked her watch. “You’re early.”

“Funny,” I replied dryly. “How’re you feeling? Had any morning sickness?”

“Not really. I feel a little more tired than usual but apart from that I don’t feel any different.”

“Okay, good. You want a coffee? I picked up decaf on the way.”

She smiled and put her handbag down on the desk.

“That was sweet. Coffee would be nice, thanks.”

At that moment, Oakley walked through the door and did the exact same thing as Holly had, only she looked at the clock on the wall rather than her watch.

“I’m not always late,” I said defensively and walked away.

The kitchen being beside reception meant I could hear their conversation. It helped that I poked my head around the door.

“How are you?” Oakley asked Holly.

“Good, thanks. You?”

“I’m good. Jasper told me.”

Holly blew out a big breath. “Thank God! I hate keeping things in, but I wasn’t sure, and he should be the one to tell you. I’m sorry.”

Oakley laughed. “You don’t have to be sorry.” She suddenly hugged a surprised Holly. “You’re having my niece or nephew! Welcome to the family.”

My eyes widened, mirroring Holly’s, but I suppose she was now part of the family. She was the mother of my child, Oakley’s niece and Mum’s grandchild. Holly was going to be in our lives forever. I didn’t mind that. In fact, a part of me liked it. Me and Holly got along – out of bed too – and if I had to be ‘stuck’ to someone else for the rest of my life then I was glad it was her. There was something about her that I trusted. Perhaps it was just because she was having my baby and that meant we had to get along and not piss each other off.

“Thank you,” Holly replied, smiling shyly as they broke the hug. “It’s all kind of sudden but Jasper’s been great. He makes me worry less.”

“Good! And if you need anything, just ask, okay?”

“Well, I have an appointment.”

Oakley nodded. “Put your appointments in my diary, so I know when you’ll be out and that’ll save you asking every time.”

Holly visibly relaxed. “Thank you. I’ll try to schedule them when I’m not here, but I think Jasper wants to come too.”

“Stop worrying. Go whenever you have to. I remember all the appointments I had, but luckily I was here so I could take off when I needed.”

“Think you’ll be doing that again one day?”

“If Cole has his own way, definitely.”

“You don’t want more.”

“No, I do. Not yet though.”

She was still dealing with the stress of worrying about something happening to Everleigh. I could relate to that. I felt it every day too.

“Jasper, less earwigging and more kettle boiling,” Oakley said and turned her head.

Damn. Busted. I smiled too wide. “Coming up!”

Ducking back in the kitchen, I made our drinks, listening to Oakley and Holly laugh at Marcus chatting about Everleigh’s latest gymnastic mishap. The kid just did her own thing.

Marcus adored her and her I’ll-jump-off-whatever-the-hell-I-like attitude, even more now he’d given up hoping she’d follow in Oakley’s footsteps and be Olympic material. Oakley was very disciplined, but now I knew it was because she’d needed something else to focus on through the abuse.

I carried our coffees through to the reception.

“Hey, man,” I said to Marcus. “Want a drink?”

“No thanks. I’ve got a class in five.”

Holly hadn’t told him. He definitely would have said something.

I put the drinks down on the desk and wrapped my arm around Holly’s shoulders.