Promise Me Darkness (11 page)

I scooted into a booth and was surprised when Ryder slid in next to me. Any other day, I wouldn’t think much of it, but now, I was so confused by his actions and words that I just wanted to scream in frustration.

Feeling nervous, I tried to look anywhere but at him. My eyes landed on the flat screen TV on the opposite wall. Multiple scenes played out, leaving me stunned. A newscaster looked frazzled as he read the news. A clip of soldiers moving through a desert played on a loop along with a shot of fighter jets taking off for parts unknown. And in big red letters, the words "Threat Risk Rising" blinked across the bottom of the screen.

For a moment, my relationship with Ryder was forgotten. Not only did I feel as if I was falling apart, but it seemed the world was falling apart too.

Eva noticed me watching TV and turned to look at it over her shoulder. She let out a loud sigh. “I hope this doesn’t put us in another world war.”

“Chemical warheads, nuclear bombs, death threats — its war,” Ryder mumbled, looking over the menu.

I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye. Strands of hair fell over his forehead and curled around his ears. I couldn’t hold back the blush that traveled up my neck when I remembered grabbing his hair while he was deep inside of me, taking my innocence.

I took a deep, cleansing breath, determined to act normal and ignore my raging hormones.

“Is your dad worried?” I asked him.

Ryder’s dad was ex–military. Special Forces to be exact. He kept up on all current affairs, both military and political. When he wasn’t running a ranch, he was a survival expert. For as long as I could remember, Robert Delaney believed in stockpiling supplies in preparation for a national catastrophe. Most people thought he was crazy. I just thought that the things he saw while serving in the military made him realize how vulnerable we were in an emergency.

Ryder’s father also insisted that everyone in his family learn how to survive. Ryder never took his dad too seriously. He had always been more interested in girls and parties than in worrying about the end of the world.

His ice blue eyes turned to look at me. “My dad is always worried.” He glanced at the TV and shrugged. “I’m sure he’s watching the news around the clock and driving my mom crazy with all his end–of–the–world talk. They’re going to shit a brick when I tell them I’m enlisting.”

I chewed on my lower lip, worried. I knew that sex with me wouldn’t stop him from enlisting. It might make him more in a hurry to leave. There was nothing holding him here, including me, but I had to try.

“You can’t enlist, Ryder,” I said. The words came tumbling out faster. “You just can’t. You would be sent overseas immediately. I don’t want you to go. Stay, please.”

He looked over at me, hiding his emotions. “Maddie, you don’t understand. I can’t be here. I have to go.”

“No, you don’t,” I said with conviction. “I’ll forget everything if it means you won’t enlist.”

Ryder’s eyes slowly moved to my mouth. Leaning toward me, his voice dropped, sending vibrations through me. "Could you really forget last night, Maddie? Because I won’t."

A now familiar flush ran over me. I couldn’t help but wiggle in my seat, feeling need flood my body. I wanted to crawl into his lap and kiss him, beg him to stay. His eyes alone were setting me on fire. A blush warmed my face as pictures flashed in my mind — him touching me, nudging my legs apart, and taking me hard. No, I would never forget.

“What you kids want?”

The Texas drawl of the waitress snapped our attention away from each other, bringing us back to reality. She waited impatiently for us to place our orders, the pen in her hand tapping on her pad of paper.

Ryder turned to her with a friendly smile. The woman seemed to melt under his gaze. I understood the feeling.

After she took our orders and left, Eva started talking nonstop about her date with Brody. I tried to listen. I nodded when I was supposed to and I commented when she expected me to but it was hard to focus on the conversation while trying not to focus on Ryder.

What was I going to do? How did you stay friends with someone you had sex with?
He was right — I couldn’t forget last night. The memory would always be lingering between us, waiting to bring me to my knees without warning.
How were we going to get past that?

Maybe he was right. Maybe it had been a mistake. I loved him and that frightened me. But not having him as a friend frightened me more.

~~~~

Back at the apartment, I walked out of my bedroom ready to go for a run. I needed a few miles of mindless running to clear my mind. Looking down at my Ipod, searching for the perfect song to run to, I almost bumped into Ryder. He was standing in the hallway, talking on his phone. His expression was grave as he held the phone to his ear and glanced down at me.

I skirted around him, putting my earplugs in and heading for the front door. Halfway there, my phone chirped in my hand.

Ben’s face lit up the screen. I really didn’t want to answer but I knew he would call over and over until I did.

“Hello, sweetheart,” his voice said, sounding genuine and happy.

“Hey, Ben.”

Why was he calling me sweetheart?
It seemed so endearing before but now it graded on my nerves. And
why was he calling me anyway?

When he heard Ben’s name, Ryder’s head whipped around, looking at me sharply. Eva also glanced up from her magazine to watch me warily from the couch. I was uncomfortable with the stares but I refused to be intimidated. Ryder had no right to be jealous. He made that very clear when he said there was nothing between us.

“So I know we broke up but I wanted to see you tonight,” Ben said.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ben. We’re over,” I said, glancing at Ryder. His eyes never left mine as he said goodbye to whoever he was on the phone with and walked further into the living room.

“At least tell me where you will be tonight,” Ben said.

Before I could give him a vague answer, the call dropped, leaving only silence. I hung up, thankful for the bad reception. It saved me from trying to explain again that it was over between us.

Ryder’s eyes were cold as they watched me. I could practically see the rage rolling off of him in waves. He didn’t say anything but turned and walked to the kitchen, slapping the door open a little too hard.

“Someone’s jealous,” Eva said as she went back to flipping through her magazine. "Interesting."

This time, I didn’t disagree with her.

I leaned closer to the mirror and applied some “Pink Afterglow” lip–gloss. The name was appropriate for the way I felt but I tried not to dwell on it as I smoothed down the hem of my dress. Hitting me mid–thigh, the material felt like silk next to my skin. The back dipped low, leaving my spine bare while the front covered me completely. After slipping on a pair of strappy high heels, I took one more glance in the mirror before leaving my bedroom.

When I walked into the living room, Ryder’s eyes slowly ran over me, from my heels to my perfectly straight hair. The heat in his eyes disappeared, replaced by anger.

“You can’t wear that,” he said, rising from the couch slowly.

“She can wear whatever she wants, Ryder. Leave her alone,” Eva said, walking into the room and looking great in a short skirt and a pale pink blouse that enhanced her tanned skin and blonde hair.

“Go change, Maddie,” he demanded.

“She’s not going to change! You aren’t her boyfriend, so back off!” Eva lashed out.

It was obvious that Eva was trying to get him to own up to his feelings but I knew Ryder better than she did — he wouldn’t break that easily.

“I’ll have to fight guys off of you all night,” Ryder said hoarsely as his gaze dropped down to my legs.

My heart rate took off for the millionth time in less than a day. As always, he took my breath away. The well–worn jeans looked impeccable on him, sexy despite the frayed edges and faded color. A black shirt clearly defined his well–muscled torso and couldn’t hide the ink on his arm. The way he looked, I would be the one fighting women off of him all night.

“Who says I want you to fight guys off me?” I retorted, feeling like a child sticking my tongue out at him.

Ryder took a step closer and opened his mouth to argue but I stood my ground, one eyebrow raised, daring him to continue.

We held each other’s gaze for a moment, neither of us willing to back down. Finally, Eva had enough.

“Let’s go! We’re late and Brody will be waiting.”

~~~~

The late evening heat was torturous and I could feel it sucking all the evening’s excitement out of me. We stood impatiently in front of the club, sweating and hot as we waited for the bouncers to check everyone’s ID.

Ryder kept close behind me. I could feel him inches away as I listened to Eva. I tried to focus on what she was saying but it was impossible with Ryder standing guard over me. By the time we made our way to the front of the line, I was hot and irritated. I handed the bouncer my ID and tried to ignore Ryder.

The big, beefy guy glanced at the card quickly before looking me up and down.

“You’re too pretty to be hanging out in this club,” he said with a grin.

The guy seemed harmless so I smiled back. A little flirting never hurt anyone. But Ryder had a different theory on that.

I sucked in a breath as his warm fingers slid onto the bare skin of my back. Fire raced along my nerve endings, making my body betray the promise I made to ignore him.

The bouncer’s smile disappeared when he saw Ryder’s death–dealing stare. Handing my ID back, he motioned us into the club. No one messed with Ryder when he was mad, even a big bouncer. It irked me. But what really got me fired up was when Ryder guided me away, keeping his hand on my back.
Possessively.

“What are you doing?” I hissed, giving him my best ‘how–dare–you’ glare. He had no right to be possessive. Men that only wanted one thing didn’t get that luxury with me.

“Jerk was flirting with you.”

“Why do you care? We’re just friends remember?” I said, sarcastically.

Before he could answer, I hurried to catch up with Eva. I needed some distance between us before I screamed at him in frustration.

The music grew louder as I followed Eva deeper into the club. The place was dark and packed. Half of the people were on the dance floor, bodies pulsing and grinding to the thumping music.

Eva spotted Brody by the bar. They were hugging when I walked up.

“Hey, stranger!” I said with a smile.

Brody was tall and cute. He had cropped off brown hair, light green eyes, and a face that every girl loved. He had the trim body of an athlete and the personality of a good ol’ boy.

“Hey, Maddie! Wow, you look good!” Brody exclaimed, letting go of Eva to hug me tightly. “I’ve missed seeing your gorgeous face.” His smile slipped then disappeared when he glanced behind me.

I turned around and found Ryder behind me, looking furious. His cold eyes glowered at Brody and his stance spoke volumes — he was ready to pounce and kill.

“Ryder, this is Brody, Eva’s ex,” I said, stressing the word ex. I wasn’t sure I could defuse the hostility rolling off of him but I wasn’t afraid to try.

Looking a little nervous, Brody stuck out his hand for Ryder to shake. “Hey, man.”

Ryder still looked ready to injure someone but he leaned around me to take Brody’s outstretched hand and shake it.

“Wait a minute! Are you ‘the Ryder’? As in Maddie’s Ryder?” Brody asked with awe.

Redness rose in my cheeks.

“The one and only,” Ryder said deeply.

“Well hell, dude! I’ve heard all about you! You’re a legend at home. There are rumors…Is it true you beat the living daylights out of Peter Jacobson in an underground fight ring when you were a senior? You won five hundred big ones in less than five minutes.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Ryder answered.

“And is it true that you nailed Miss Roland after class one day? On a desk?” Brody asked.

“Disgusting,” Eva muttered.

I couldn’t help but stare at Ryder with disbelief. Miss Roland had been my high school chemistry teacher. She had been nice and sweet. Also, blonde and young. Just his type.

“That one’s not true.”

I let out a relieved breath.

“You going to school here?” Brody asked, taking a drink of his beer.

“No. I’m here with Maddie.”

Wow. He made that sound so intimate.

"Cool. So are ya’ll…?" Brody asked, motioning between the two of us.

“Let’s dance!” Eva cut in, grabbing Brody’s hand and tugging him to the dance floor, saving us from answering his question.

Ryder and I stood in awkward silence. A few inches separated us but it might as well have been a mile.

“I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?” he asked, looking down at me cooly.

I shook my head and watched as he walked away. In a moment of self–pity, I felt out of place. Alone. I was here for Eva but I didn’t belong here, pretending Ryder and I were just friends, trying to mask what I really wanted.

I glanced over at the bar. Ryder was leaning casually against the glossy wooden counter, looking right at home as he waited for his drink. A smile was spread across his face, lighting up his eyes and making him appear mischievous. But his smile wasn’t for me. It was for the redhead standing near him. She was tall and gorgeous. And looked perfect next to him.

Tears stung my eyes as he laughed at something she said, his eyes crinkling in the corners. It was now more than obvious that last night meant nothing to him. Nothing except a good time.

I brushed away the tears, refusing to cry.
I was such a fool!
I should have known better. He played me just like he did every other girl.

I had to let him go.

“There you are! Let’s dance!” Eva shouted, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the dance floor.

The crowd surrounded us as we pushed our way to the middle of the oak floor. People danced and laughed around me. Happy. Carefree. Not stupid for giving their hearts away.