Protect and Serve (6 page)

“I’m sorry, Pen. It’ll be okay. Just let it out, baby. God, I’m so sorry…”

Even though he figured he was probably the last person she wanted to comfort her, he knew he had to try. To his surprise, she actually leaned into his arms and buried her head in his chest. She was still sobbing, but at least she’d stopped screaming.

Carla came running down the stairs, so fast she almost slid into them. “What are you doing? What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything…”
Not exactly the truth
. “I think Big Mama’s death finally hit her and she cracked.”

The incredulous look on Carla’s face spoke volumes. She walked over to them and pushed him away. For a small woman, she packed a lot of punch. Not enough to really move him, but enough to make him get the picture—she wanted him gone.

“Get out of here. Leave her alone.” Carla dropped to her knees and reached for Penny. She pulled her until Penny fell into her arms. “I’ve got her. You can leave now. Get out!”

Penny wrapped herself into Carla’s arms. The older woman folded herself around her child and shot daggers at Jason as she did.

Soft, shuddering sobs still heaved from Penny’s chest, but it appeared as if she might be all right.

No thanks to me
.

He turned slowly and let himself out. As he walked away, he heard Carla cooing and comforting Penny, and he wished it could have been him doing it.

“It’s okay, baby. I miss Mama, too. But it will be okay. We’ll be okay. We have each other. See, you need me, too.” Carla’s caressing hand patted Penny’s hair, and for several minutes she actually felt as if Big Mama was still there.

Penny’s tears had run dry, and she realized that she must have sat there on the floor sobbing for quite some time. Besides the fact the hard wood was starting to make her butt numb, the lack of feeling in her legs and the ache when she shifted her body clued her in that she and Carla had been there for more than a minute.

“I can come with you to California. Then I can take care…well…we can take care of each other this time, Br—Penny.”

What am I doing?
Penny scooted away from her mother and looked at the her. As best as she could see with her tear-swollen eyes, Carla was still the same petite and crazy woman. She contemplated telling Carla just how insane she was. But then the press of the doorbell jarred her and her heart started pounding.

Please don’t let it be Jason again
. She didn’t know how he’d managed to almost break her.
Almost? Girl, please! That man broke you all the way down. You better run
.

If she hadn’t been trying to be so strong and hold it all in, she might have been able to maintain everything. But he’d kept pushing, and she’d broken. She didn’t think she could take any more of him that evening.

“I’ll get it. And if it’s that ole high-and-mighty Hightower cop, I’m gonna cuss him out! I don’t know what you put on that boy, but he is just determined to continue sniffing around you. It’s probably best that we move to California instead of staying here the way he’s coming after you.” Carla just kept right on spouting her nonsense as she trotted off to the door.

Penny got up and followed her, just in case she needed some help turning Jason away.

The man acted as if he’d never heard the word no. He never did like not getting his own way. The baby Hightower boy had been a little spoiled in that regard.

“Oh, hell, no!” Carla’s high-pitched yell reached her from the entryway. “I said I’d call you. What part of I’ll call you can’t you understand? Why you showing up here now?”

Penny put more pep in her step and raced to the entryway. She figured it wasn’t Jason who had Carla yelling like that. When she got to the door, she saw an older man standing there she didn’t recognize.

He appeared to be in his mid-fifties. It was hard to tell. He looked as if he had had a rough life, but the only tellers were the eyes. His face was unusually smooth, and his lean, muscled body appeared to be in tip-top shape. His salt-and-pepper hair was cropped close to his scalp, with just a hint of a receding hairline.

He glanced up at Penny, and his eyes actually seemed to brighten. She frowned, because she could have sworn she had seen him someplace before.

Carla placed her hands on her hips and cemented herself between the man and the entrance.

“What’s going on, Carla? Who is this man?”

“He ain’t nobody important, and nobody for you to be worrying about.”

“Oh, now I’m nobody. I ain’t important? You just gonna hold a grudge for damn near thirty-something years?” The man took his eyes off of Penny and narrowed them on Carla.

“She don’t need to know you. She doing just fine without you.
We
don’t need you.
We
fixin’ to move to California.” Carla gripped the door and started shutting it in the man’s face.

“Why don’t you let her decide if she needs to know me or not?” He looked at Penny again.

His eyes. There was something about his eyes, the copper color. She had seen them before.

In the mirror.

Oh crap! You have got to be kidding me
. Penny raised her head toward the heavens.
Big Mama, are you up there yet? Can you stop whoever it is who seems to have it in for me up there?

The man pressed against the door. “Can I at least come in and talk to her?”

Penny knew Carla wouldn’t be able to hold off the strong, muscle-bound man for long. She was torn between helping her mother shove the door in his face and meeting the man so that they could get this little
ghettofied
family reunion out of the way. It would be one less thing to deal with.

“Carla, just let him in. Let’s get this over with.”

Carla glared at her and kept trying to close the door. “Uh-uh, Brat. Just like that other one brings out the worse in you and upsets you no end, this fool rubs me
all
the way wrong. I ain’t able to deal with him tonight. He gotta go.”

Penny walked over to the door.

“She calls you Carla? You’re her mother. Why don’t she call you Mama or Mom?” The man kept trying to make his way in.

Carla had gained strength of fortitude and mouth. “Same reason she don’t call you Daddy or Dad! We ain’t never did a thing for her to earn those titles. Now get away from here. I’ll call you if she wants to see you. You gave me the number.” Carla gave the door a hard shove.

Penny put her hand on the door and started to push with Carla.

“Oh, come on. I just want to meet her.” The man looked Penny in the eye. “I just want to meet you. Please. You the only child I have.”

“She the only child I have, too. And I’m the only parent she need. You just gonna go back to jail anyway, eventually. Can’t nobody depend on you.”

“Why can’t you just let her decide? She grown now. Let her decide.”

“Just ’cause she grown don’t mean she know what’s good for her. I know best in this regard. You ain’t worth getting to know.”

“At least I ain’t wasted my life as no junkie.”

“No. You just a criminal. You wasted yours in jail.” Carla gave the door a heaving push and managed to shut it. She wasted no time clicking the locks.

The man started banging and ringing the bell at the same time.

Penny just stared at Carla and then back at the door.

Carla stood there, breathing heavily, and finally leaned against the wall. When the man kept at his assault of the door, Carla yelled, “If you don’t leave here, I’m gonna call the cops on your ass. You hear me? The cops! You better run. With your criminal history, you ain’t got a strike to play with. Get from round here!”

“I just want to meet my daughter! Why are you being such a bitch?”

“Because I am one. And I’ll be the baddest one you ever met, if you don’t leave. I told you I’d talk to Brat, and if she wants to see you, I’d call you.”

The door actually started to shake then, and if Penny could have managed to move any part of her mouth, she would have said something. But it just hung open, refusing to close. She’d suspected who the man was, and it had been confirmed.

“Brat, stop standing there with your mouth hanging open!” Carla rolled her eyes. “Go and call the cops on this fool. Let them take his behind back to jail!” she screamed at the door.

Penny shook her head. “No.”

Squinting, Carla heaved herself from the wall. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Penny sighed, opened the door and let her father in.

Y
ep. This is my father. Can my little ghetto homecoming become any more stressful?

Peering into the tall stranger’s face, Penny sighed, stepped aside and let him in.

He took slightly hesitant steps forward, and soon they were both standing in the den.

“Have a—” Penny started.

“Hi, I’m—” The man edged forward and stuck out his hand before running it across his close-cropped salt-and-pepper hair and giving a nervous chuckle.

Penny found herself giggling, as well. “I’m sorry. Why don’t we have a seat? I think I know who you are. I’m just not sure why you’re here. Or rather, why you’re here
now.
”

Did that sound too harsh? She supposed it did. But really, what did one say to a father she couldn’t recall ever meeting and had no memory of?

Big Mama and Carla had never talked about the man. The times she remembered asking if she had a father, she’d never gotten any clear answers from either one of them.

Big Mama had only said, “Of course, baby. Everyone has a father…”

After Penny got older, she’d just figured if he was worth knowing, they would have mentioned him or told her something about him.

His tall, muscular frame seemed to shrink somewhat as his shoulders hunched and he sank down on the worn pleather sofa. He ran his hand across his head again and looked at her with those eyes, eyes just like her own.

The more she looked at him, the more she could see the other similarities between them. She had always thought she’d gotten her height from Big Mama somehow, because Carla was such a petite thing. But seeing how tall and sturdy her father was, she figured she must have gotten her own tall, shapely build from her father’s side of the family. She wondered what the women in his family looked like. It was hard to tell if her own toasted-cinnamon skin was a mix between his mocha complexion and Carla’s soft, honey skin tone.

“My name is Gerald McEarly, and I’m your father. You probably don’t remember me much ’cause I got sent away on that murder rap pretty soon after you was born. I—I was cleared of those charges. The DNA finally cleared me. That’s why I’m out,” he started.

Her eyes popped open.

Murder?

He must have sensed from the expression on her face that she was coming to some less-than-flattering conclusions. He ran his hand across his head again and sighed before finishing. “I might have been guilty of selling a little…hustling a little…but I didn’t kill anyone. I would have never killed that couple. But that’s not important, really.” The commanding, bass-filled tone of his voice didn’t seem to match the hesitant and rambling manner in which he spoke.

When Penny looked into his huge copper eyes to see if she could get a read on him, to figure out what he wanted, she saw that they had a pleading expression in them.

Pleading for what? What did he expect from her?

He got halfway up and reached into his back pocket.

Instinctively she jumped back, and a hurt expression crossed his face.

“You’re my daughter. The only child I have. I would never hurt you. I just wanted to show you something, show you what I kept.”

The tattered black leather wallet looked like it had seen better days. Penny noticed it bulked not with money, but with pictures. He had several small photos in the wallet, some wallet-size and some cut down to fit in the wallet.

“This is you.” He handed her a picture of her as a baby. “And this is you and your mama. She used to send me pictures of the two of you all the time for the first few years. Then she stopped.” His voice choked. He blinked and ran his hand over his eyes before continuing. “Of course, she was young. I shoulda known she wouldn’t have waited all this time…But that’s not important. I held on to what pictures I had the entire time. So I could keep focused. I never forgot about either of you.”

This is just too much. Or is it too little too late?

Even though her heart went out to him, based on the pain that radiated from him, she had no idea how to respond. Heck, even if Carla stopped writing him, why had he stopped? Why hadn’t he reached out to her sooner?

“I’m sorry, Gerald. But, I mean, well…you never wrote or anything. Or called. So I find it really hard to believe you thought of me all the time you were in prison.”

“I wrote you and your mama all the time. I kept writing for a while, even after she stopped writing to me and sending pictures. Even after she started sending the letters back unopened…I thought maybe she would get over her anger. At least bring you to see me or something…But she never did. Then I heard about her being hooked on that crack and seeing…” A pained expression crossed his face.

“What’re you doing in here?” Carla shot Penny a glare that screamed betrayal. “Brat! Why did you let him in here? Get out, Gerald! I’ve called the cops, and they’ll be here any minute. They gonna lock you up.
Again
.”

“I just wanted to meet my child, Carla. Damn. You act like I’m gonna hurt her or something. I just wanted to see her. To meet her.” Gerald heaved a sigh and ran his hand across his head before glaring at Carla. He placed his photos back in his wallet and put the wallet in his back pocket.

“How am I supposed to know you won’t hurt us? You’re a criminal. You
did
go to jail for murder.” Carla crossed her arms and gave Gerald a pointed look before turning to Penny. “You see what you did, Brat? You let a murderer in the house.”

“I was cleared. The DNA cleared me, and you know it, Carla. Why you deliberately trying to poison her mind toward me?”

Carla shrugged, twisted up her lips and slanted her eye before placing her hand on her hips.

If it weren’t her life, Penny might have found the entire display mildly amusing. The two deadbeat parents were trying to one-up one another. In her eyes, neither would be getting the parent of the year award anytime soon.

The doorbell rang and Carla shot off to answer it. She turned slightly. “Too late to leave now. That’s the cops. I told you to get out and leave us alone. Oh, well. Too bad, so sad.”

Gerald’s shoulders slumped, and Penny almost felt bad for him.

She had no idea what the man had hoped to accomplish with his visit. But she was pretty sure this wasn’t it. Seeing the way Carla’s treatment affected him made her cringe as she thought of how her own funky attitude might have made Jason feel. At least Carla had a reason to be so mean and bitter. She, on the other hand, had no right to treat Jason badly. She only hoped he would stay away so she could leave Paterson without having another confrontation that would only end up hurting him and, most of all, herself.

“I just wanted to see you, that’s all. I just wanted to see you before you went back off to California. I didn’t come to hurt anybody, just wanted to see you for myself.” Gerald’s sad voice pulled her out of her thoughts of Jason.

Carla came flouncing back into the sitting room, with Jason following right behind her.

Penny didn’t even bother looking toward the heavens. What was the point? Someone up there clearly wanted her to face her past.

Must be Big Mama…. I can’t do it, Big Mama. I don’t think I can do it
….

Carla’s smirk let Penny know her mother was relishing every minute of the ex-lovers’ tit for tat they were caught in.

“Well, looka, looka who P-Town’s finest saw fit to send over and help us get rid of this lowlife. The wonderful Hightower you can’t seem to get enough of, Brat. Ain’t that a blip? Huh? Ha!” Carla tilted her head haughtily before pointing to Gerald. “That’s him, Detective Hightower. That’s the criminal that tried to break down my door and who has been harassing me. I’d like him arrested.”

Penny glared at Carla, and then shot Jason an angry glare, as well.

Since when did police detectives come and check out random domestic disputes?

“I picked the call up on my scanner and told them I knew you all and I was in the neighborhood, so I could check it out.” Jason at least appeared a tad contrite, as if anyone so overbearing could be contrite.

“Well, I’m afraid you’ve wasted your time, Jason. This man is my father, and I invited him in so we could talk and get to know one another.”

Jason’s jaw dropped. He eyed Gerald, then looked at Carla. “Did you call in a false report?”

Carla’s honey skin seemed to take on red-hot tones as she glowered at Penny. Her shoulders arched, her chest poked out, and her tiny hands found their way to her hips.

Penny could have sworn she saw steam trailing from Carla’s nose and ears.

“I didn’t call in a false report. I didn’t invite this man into my home.” Carla pointed angrily at Gerald, and cut her eyes at Penny at the same time.

“No, you didn’t, but I did, Carla. So, Detective Hightower, I’m sorry we’ve wasted your time. I can see you out now, if you’d like. Things are really under control here.” Penny stood up from the sofa. She glanced at Carla, and the betrayed look in her mother’s eyes almost made her heart turn soft toward the woman.

Almost.

Penny sighed. “And, Gerald, perhaps you should leave, too. It’s getting late, and we’ve had a long day, with the funeral and the burial. If you leave me a number to reach you, I promise to try and meet with you again before I leave town.”

“And when will that be, Penny?” Jason seemed to have forgotten he was there on police business and not to get knee-deep in her life.

Penny squinted her eyes and contemplated telling him it was none of his business. She opted for the civil approach, even though her head throbbed and her heart ached. She didn’t want to be cruel or mean and evil to this man.

She didn’t want to hurt him anymore. Because for some reason it still broke her heart when she had to push him away. And since she didn’t want to finish the already emotionally draining day with yet another confrontation with Jason, she painted a pleasant smile on her face.

“I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be leaving,
Detective
Hightower. It depends on how long it takes me to settle up Big Mama’s affairs.” She kept her bright expression firm. “Now, if you gentlemen would be so kind…we’re really at the ends of our ropes….” She shot Carla an apologetic glance, but her mother turned away in a huff.

Penny walked off toward the door, fully expecting both men to follow her.

Gerald handed her a piece of paper. “This is my number at the boardinghouse where I’m staying. I, well…I hope you use it. I’d sure like to see you again and talk.”

Jason just narrowed his eyes at her and walked out.

She had the feeling she hadn’t seen the last of him by a long shot. In fact, given the way her forced trip home had been going, if she was certain of anything at all it was that she would be seeing much more of Jason Hightower. Whether she wanted to or not.

Jason stood in front of Big Mama’s house and watched as Penny’s father started walking off down the street. The man didn’t appear to have a car, and Jason felt an unreasonable urge to find out more about him. He didn’t like the recently-released-from-prison aura the man gave off. And he couldn’t shake the totally unrealistic desire he felt to protect and watch out for Penny.

“Hey, man, you need a lift or something? I can drop you off.” Jason knew there was an edge to his voice that probably didn’t sound particularly inviting to the man, especially if he really was an ex-con. But he was doing the best he could.

The man paused and gave him a once-over. “You, uh…You sure? I’m on the other side of town, down the hill…on Temple Street. It’s probably out of your way.”

“It’s cool. I’d like to talk to you for a minute, anyway.”

After a few seconds of contemplation, the older man nodded and then started walking back toward him. Jason opened the door to his SUV, and they got in.

“So, you’re Penny’s dad?”

“Yeah.” The man’s face seemed to light up at the mention of Penny’s name.

“You and Carla?”

A sad sigh escaped the man’s lips. “Carla was the love of my life, man. I mean, I was as much in love as a nineteen-year-old young hustler could be. And she was just a little high school freshman.”

“That’s statutory, man—” Jason began.

“I know. Trust me, her mama threatened to have me locked up when Carla ended up pregnant. I wanted to do the right thing. Even went and asked if I could marry her.” The man chuckled uneasily. “Her mama said hell no, and threatened me with a gun. She said she was gonna have me locked up for messing with her child. And I think she would have, if they hadn’t gotten me on that bum murder rap before she got the chance.”

“You did time for murder?” Jason started to get an uneasy feeling. Given Carla’s history, he would have pegged the man for a former drug dealer. But murder?

“Yes. But they just let me out after DNA testing proved I was innocent all along. I might just sue. Them damn cops should have looked harder for the real murderer.” He must have realized that he was riding with a cop. “I mean, I got nothing against cops and all. I just feel like the whole system did me dirty, you understand?”

Jason could have gone into a discussion on the merits of the Paterson Police Department. But he knew sometimes the wrong people got locked up. Just ask Rubin “Hurricane” Carter…So he nodded to encourage the man to keep talking.

He was beginning to think he knew who this man was—and that there might be a connection between this man’s recent release and the newest cold-case file to come across his desk. If there was, then there might be some clues to be gained that could lead him to figure out who the real murderer was.

“Anyway, I realize all cops ain’t bad. I mean, you seem like a cool dude. Maybe with some younger cats on there, some
brothers,
maybe the Paterson Police Department has changed some since I been gone.” The man glanced out the window as he spoke.

The tone of his voice and the fact that he wouldn’t look in Jason’s direction, let him know the man hardly believed what he’d just said.