Queen (70 page)

    Lizzie might do to Queen. She thought that this was how her own mother

    must have felt when she learned that she was to

    MERGING 421

be sold away from her only child, and she wept for herself, and the mother

she Could scarcely remember.

    Jass saw the tears, and tried to kiss them away, and put a positive face

    on the prospects for Queen. In the end, Easter had to agree. She had no

    choice. He was the Massa.

    And he was her love. His comforting caresses changed to intimate

    endearments, and she gave herself to him, as she always would, and gave

    him the most dear thing that was hers to give.

    She put a brave face on it, and told her daughter the good news, and was

    surprised by Queen's reaction. It seemed to come as no surprise to the

    girl. She listened gravely to her mother, and was silent for a little

    while afterward, and then asked if Miss Lizzie would beat her.

    She looked so lost and frightened, and so very tiny at that moment, far

    too small to be setting off on so great an adventure, that all Easter

    wanted to do was hold her close and run away somewhere with her, and keep

    her safe from Miss Lizzie and all the nasty things that might happen to

    her in life, r-un away even from Jass.

    She didn't run away. She couldn't: She had nowhere to go, nor the genuine

    desire to leave. She held her daughter close and whispered to her that

    the Massa and Miss Sally wouldn't let anyone hurt her. Queen stared into

    her eyes, as if looking to see if she was telling the truth, and seemed

    convinced, and almost smiled. Easter knew that something else was

    troubling her, and asked what it was.

    A tear moistened Queen's eye. "I don't have any nice dresses to wear,"

    she said, miserably.

    Easter's heart almost broke, and she spent the next few days making a

    couple of pretty dresses for Queen, and a smart little pinafore to wear

    over them, to keep them clean.

    Cap'n Jack was all in favor of the idea. To him, it was not similar to

    the situation with Annie, because Queen would still be with them. What

    was paramount in his mind was that Queen would now have the advantage of

    real learning, for undoubtedly she would go to school with Uzzie's

    children, and she would learn to dance, and how to conduct herself in

    social situations. She would learn how to become a lady, which was Capn

    Jack's immediate dream for her, and she

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would be raised in her father's household, which, to him, was her true

station. Tempered by the reality of a slave's existence, he saw Queen taking

her first steps on the path to her true ascendancy, to her true place as her

father's daughter.

    So it was that on a warm summer day, Easter took Queen to the main entrance

    of the big house. She knew she should have used the back door, but if her

    daughter was to be taken in by this family, then it 'would be done

    properly. Queen was neatly dressed and was wearing her new pinafore. Easter

    carried a small bag with the girl's other few belongings. She rang the

    bell.

    Still, Easter had a heavy heart, and she wondered what Queen was thinking.

    Queen had been excited all morning, and very nervous, but hadn't said very

    much. As they waited for a response to the bell, Queen seemed to be mulling

    something over in her mind, and then she looked at her mother.

"Why the Massa come see you all the time?" she asked. Like he was my pappy."

    Easter knew that Queen must learn the truth of her parentage one day, that

    the other slaves would make sure of it, if they hadn't hinted at it

    already. Even so, it was difficult territory. For both of them.

    " Hush up 'bout yo' pappy, yo' hear, or I take a switch to you," she said,

    and the words were fiercer than her tone. "Yo' pappy ain't here, an' that's

    all there is about it!"

    Then she relented, for at that moment she didn't want Queen to have a

    pappy, not even Jass. She wanted her all for herself. She hugged her

    daughter.

    .' Jus' remember yo' got a mammy that love yo," she said tenderly. But she

    had to prepare her for the future.

"And a Massa that love yo'. Jus' like he was yo' pappy."

    Parson Dick opened the door and was surprised to see them, but understood

    why Easter had not gone round the back. He almost smiled in sympathy, and

    led them into the hall, telling them to wait while he fetched the Missy.

    They were an odd couple, the two of them, and looked shabby, the

    half-caste, dowdily dressed woman and her tiny daughter, standing nervously

    in the grand hall with its chandeliers and sweeping staircase and somber

    portraits of all the Jackson family. The sheer magnificence frightened

    Queen and

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brought home the truth of her situation to her. She would never be able

to imagine this as her "new home" as Mammy had told her it would be. She'd

never be able to run laughing down those stairs, or pad across that

polished floor in bare, muddy feet, as she did at her old home. She

clutched her mammy's hand tightly. -

    Lizzie came down the stairs, almost as nervous as they. She was

    especially irritated that Easter had used the front door, but had few

    ways of venting her displeasure, for who knew what the woman would tell

    Jass, and Jass was so adamant about this whole wretched business that

    Lizzie was not prepared to cross him. Nor was she about to lose the

    confrontation.

"You should have used the back door," she said sharply.

    She stared at her rival, never having studied her before. Easter had

    always been a vague and shadowy figure to her before she learned the

    truth of Jass's affections, and since then Lizzie had scarcely been able

    to look at her.

    Now she did, because she had to, and because she could. She could not

    imagine what Jass saw in her. The woman had a certain thick-lipped

    prettiness about her but almost went out of her way to make the worst of

    herself, in that plain dress and dreadful scarf. "Mammy," Lizzie thought,

    "a regular nigra mammy," and wondered what it was that made her so

    desirable to her husband. Easter's disregard of her own beauty was almost

    painful to Lizzie, who took such care about her appearance, and her

    careless physical grace made even Lizzie understand something of the

    processes of physical desire. To save herself, she mentally dismissed

    Easter as an immoral slut who had some secret, sexual hold over Jass that

    Lizzie would never understand.

    Then there was the child. A scrawny midget of a thing, with no

    personality, staring at the floor and trying to hide in the folds of her

    mammy's dress.

And white as cotton.

"You may go," Lizzie said to Easter.

Easter didn't go. She put her arm around Queen.

    "I still see her, Missy?" she begged in a plaintive voice that gave

    Lizzie, for the moment at least, all the power over this woman for which

    she longed.

"Of course you will. This is another house, not another

424 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

country," Lizzie said, without any trace of kindness. "But you should know-"

    She could not resist. She had to turn the situation to her advantage.

    --this is the Massa's decision. I do not approve of it." She would show

    this woman who was Mistress. "But since it is to be, the child will be

    given every advantage. She will be trained as a lady's maid, with all the

    necessary etiquette. So be careful when you see her. I do not want her

    learning your nigra ways."

    It had a different effect from that which Lizzie intended. The slave seemed

    to draw comfort from Lizzie's words. It was the Massa's decision, about the

    Massa's child, and it was Easter who had power over the Massa. Obviously,

    Lizzie did not want it to happen, but there was nothing she could do to

    stop it.

    " I only wants the best for her," she said, and Lizzie, to her horror,

    thought Easter was smiling.

    "What you want has nothing to do with it," she snapped. "We own her!"

    She let that sink in for a moment, and was then tired of it all. "Say

    good-bye to her and go."

    Easter knelt, hugged Queen to her, and whispered in the child's ear.

    " Yo' be a good girl, like I teached yo', and do what you tole, allus. Jus'

    like yo' had a new mammy-"

    Lizzie turned on her in fury. "I am her Mistress," she said. "Not her

    marnmy! "

It frightened Queen, who clung close to Easter.

"Come along, Queen."

    Queen didn't want to go, she didn't like Miss Lizzie, but her mammy kissed

    her, gave her the little bag, and pushed her forward.

'Queen!" Lizzie commanded again.

'Go with her," Easter whispered.

    Reluctantly, Queen moved forward. Lizzie was already climbing the enormous

    staircase. Head down, Queen followed her up, her tiny legs only able to

    take one step at a time. She looked up a couple of times to see where she

    was going, and all those grim people in all the pictures on the wall stared

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down at her, ready, Queen was sure, to have her whipped if she did

anything wrong.

    Once, she looked back. Her mammy was still standing in the hall, and

    Queen knew she was crying. She wanted with all her heart to run back down

    and hug her mammy, tell her not to cry, and go home with her to the

    weaving house, and wake up from this nightmare.

    But she had to do what her mammy and the Massa and her gran'pappy and

    everyone she knew told her she must.

"Queen!" she heard Miss Lizzie shout, angrily.

"Queen," she heard her mammy whisper.

Queen was determined not to cry.

    PART THREE

    QUEEN

Not they who soar, but they who plod Their rugged way, unhelped, to God

Are heroes; they who higherfare, And,flying,fan the upper air, Miss all

the toil that hugs the sod. 'Tis they whose backs haveftit the rod, Whose

fiet have pressed the path unshod, May smile upon def~ated care, Not they

who soar.

    -PAUL LAURFNCE DUNBAR

    51

d . iQueen!"

    She heard William calling her again, but didn't respond, because he'd

    called several times, and she couldn't decide which bonnet to wear. She

    had only two, her dark-gray one for best and Sundays, and a blue one for

    other times. Today was not Sunday, but she was wearing her Sunday best

    dress and should have worn her gray bonnet, but she wanted to wear her

    blue one because it looked nicer. It was a little shabby, however, from

    constant use, and she hemmed and hawed and changed her mind, and her

    bonnet, a dozen times, while William, who had been ready half an hour

    earlier, had gone on ahead. Queen knew they were all waiting for her, but

    today was a big day. They were going to visit Missy Becky at The Sinks,

    which was a frequent event, and then they were going into town, which was

    not, and she wanted to look really pretty.

    She settled on the blue bonnet, grabbed her gloves and almost empty

    reticule, and rushed from the room.

William was at the bottom of the stairs.

    "I thought you'd never be ready," he called, as Queen came clattering

    down the stairs, a pretty sixteen and vibrant with youth.

    "Sorry, Massa Bill," she cried. "I couldn't decide which bonnet to wear."

    William was never very cross with her, and was laughing. "You've only got

    two, and Papa's going wild!"

    Queen reached the bottom of the stairs and she and William were moving

    quickly outside when Parson Dick appeared in the hallway.

    "Massa William! Miss Queen!" He was always telling them off. A tubby,

    gray-haired grizzly bear, William called him. "Young ladies and gentlemen

    do not run."

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430 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    They only laughed, and continued running. Parson Dick was used to being

    ignored by them, and went to the kitchen. The family would be away for the

    afternoon, and Missy Sally was having a nap, so he could relax until Massa

    Henderson came to tea with his new bride.

Jass saw them first.

    " There you are at last," he cried. It was a crisp winter day, and they'd

    been waiting twenty minutes. Lizzie, pregnant, rugged up and impatient, was

    in the landau with Mary, William's younger sister, and Poppy, a slave nurse

    who was tending the babies, Little Sally, who was five, and Eleanor, who

    was two.

    "Sorry, Papa," William said happily, to cover for Queen, as they climbed

    into the carriage. "I couldn't decide which cap to wear. "

    "But you only have one," said Lizzie, who was feeling the cold.

    "I know!" William laughed again, smiled sweetly at his mother, and grinned