RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (30 page)

***Raven***

He’s here. I don’t need to open my eyes to know it’s him.
He’s finally here, and I can’t look at him. How can I face him after what
happened? He’ll never look at me the same way again. I no longer have what he
wanted, what he’s waited so long for. I’m damaged goods.

His scent grows stronger and I feel him standing over me.
Tears gather behind my lids. I shut my eyes tighter to keep them there, but
that just makes it worse. He gently wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb.

“Raven, look at me.”

It’s like opening the floodgates. He’s blurry through my
teary-eyed vision, but I couldn’t bear to see his expression anyway. I couldn’t
bear to see disgust in his eyes. He hands me his bandana, slowly sliding his
fingers through my hair.

“It’s okay, doll. I’m here.”

He doesn’t sound disgusted. A little sad but… compassionate.
I brave his stare and his blue eyes glint at me. No judgment, no repulsion. I
breathe a sigh of relief. As he leans in, I grab his shirt and pull him down to
me, burying my face in his chest and taking a deep breath. His scent fills my
body, mind, and senses. I hold my breath for as long as I can then let it out
slowly. This is what I needed. Peace.

“My little puppy. That’s why I made sure I showered before I
came back here.”

I crack a small smile as he drops a tender kiss on my
forehead. He pulls up a chair, but I shake my head and pat the bed. I need him
next to me. He carefully moves me over and I struggle onto my side—the one with
the good shoulder. I lay my head on his chest as he settles in next to me and
just breathe him in. His strong, steady heartbeat calms and reassures me. He’s
here.

“I’m sorry, Raven.”

The pain in his voice grabs my heart. What does he have to
be sorry for?

“This is my fault. I’m the reason this happened to you.”

Before I can object, Ellen and Aunt Nita walk in, followed
by Millie, Chrissy, and Toni. They gather around us, each one appearing to be
fighting back tears. Millie cups my cheek and smiles weakly.

“How are you, sweetheart?”

I look around the room again. Chrissy and Toni have lost the
battle, sniffling as tears roll down their cheeks. Ellen looks to the ceiling,
still putting up a fight. I break down again, fisting my hand in Gage’s shirt.

“Oh, shit,” he mutters under his breath.

It can’t be easy for him, being surrounded by five crying
females. They move closer, each touching me in support.

“You’re not alone, Raven. We’re all here for you… anything
you need.”

I nod to Aunt Nita as she hands me a tissue. Gage strokes my
hair, trying to soothe me. In the midst of my sobbing, it hits me that I don’t
really know why I’m crying again. It was triggered by the others, their tears
and the looks in their eyes. I know what happened to me and I feel the effects
of it, but I guess it doesn’t seem real. Maybe it’s because I don’t remember
what happened, but I don’t
feel
it. I’m sad, upset, and a little scared,
but that true feeling of violation is just beyond my reach.

Chrissy holds up a bag then sets it on a chair. “I brought
you some stuff… my kindle and iPod. They won’t let us into your place.”

“I brought you some soup… the way my Mom makes it,” Toni
says as she places the container on the table next to the bed. I’m not really
hungry but if I could eat anything, it would be Mama Doreen’s soup.

“Thanks, guys.”

They visit with me for about an hour before the nurse from
earlier comes in and announces she has to check my bandages. The ladies leave
and Gage carefully climbs out of the bed.

The nurse looks pointedly at the door. “Sir.”

I grab his hand before he even acknowledges her. She presses
her lips together and narrows her eyes at him.

“What’s your name?” he asks her.

“Cindy.”

“Look, Cindy… we got off on the wrong foot, but you better
get used to seeing me. As long as she’s in here, I’ll be here, too.”

Sighing, she shakes her head in resignation. “Fine.”

She starts with my shoulder, and I flinch at her touch. I
don’t know why, but I don’t feel comfortable with her touching me. She moves to
the foot of the bed and lifts the sheet to inspect my legs. The moment her
fingers graze my skin, I freak the fuck out.

“Don’t touch me!”

Startled, she releases me and steps back. “It’s okay. I just
need—”

“Don’t touch me. Get away from me!” I turn to Gage in a
panic. “Please, don’t let her touch me. Get her away from me!”

“I got you, babe.”

He wraps his arms around me gently as I sob into his chest.
I vaguely hear him tell the nurse to get Dr. E, and then he whispers in my ear
that I’m okay. This is not the behavior of someone who’s okay.

What the fuck just happened?

***Gage***

She’s shaking in my arms and I don’t know what the fuck to
do. I do what I can—hold her and try to comfort her. By the time E gets here,
she’s calmed down enough to lie back on the bed.

I stroke her hair and kiss her forehead. “I’m going to talk
to E, okay?”

“Please, don’t leave me.”

The desperation in her voice almost breaks me. I squeeze her
fingers lightly and give her a reassuring look. “I’ll be right outside the
door, doll.”

She nods, but the frightened expression lingers on her face.
I close the door behind me and take a deep breath.

“What happened?” E asks.

“Nurse came in to check her bandages and Raven freaked out
the moment she touched her.”

“Well, it’s common for rape victims to not want to be
touched.”

“By anyone, right? But I’ve touched her… Ellen, Nita… her
friends have touched her and no problem.”

“So have I, but… she trusts us. We’re familiar.”

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem right.”

He nods and grips my shoulder. He’s been my best friend for
most of my life and knows me better than anyone. I know he’s worried about me;
I see it in his eyes. I know all my brothers care, but E is the only one who
would even think about my feelings right now. The others will know and
understand my anger and need for revenge. They’ll expect it. What they don’t
know is how much this is killing me inside. But I can’t show weakness, not even
to E. Who am I to feel sorry for myself? Raven’s the one who was attacked.

I glance over E’s shoulder and notice some of the guys are
here. Fuck. I take one last look at Raven’s door and head over to them. They
all stand as I approach.

“How is she?” Rico asks.

“Physically, she’ll be okay. She’s just a little messed up
right now.”

“That’s understandable.” Razor nods in agreement.

I turn to him. “You talked to Glenn?”

“He wasn’t there. Neighbor said he took off to visit his
sister in New Orleans about two days after his
accident
.”

Fuck. He was the only one on my list so far. “Shit. Call
everybody, call in every favor. I need information. I want this fucker found.”

“In what condition?”

“Nobody touches him. He’s
mine
.”

“Got it, Prez.”

“Uh… boss?” Ron approaches carefully.

“What is it?”

“There’s a guy here to see Raven. Says he’s her lawyer.”

He motions to a guy sitting in the corner and the man steps
forward, hand outstretched.

“Mr. Hunter, Drake Santini. I’m handling Mr. Alvarez’s
estate on Raven’s behalf.” I shake his hand and acknowledge him with a nod. “I
need to speak with you and Raven in private.”

“Sure. Come on.”

The panic drains from her face when I walk through the door.
Her gaze flicks to Santini momentarily but comes back to rest on me.

“You’re back.”

“Of course, babe. Mr. Santini here wants to talk to you.”

“Hi, Raven. It’s good to see you again. I’m sorry about the
circumstances.”

I watch her shake his hand without flinching. She raises her
good shoulder in a shrug then slides her hand back into mine.

“How are you feeling?” Santini asks.

“Not too good. But thanks for asking.”

“I stopped by your house and a neighbor told me what
happened. Do the police have any leads?”

“Not yet,” I answer.

“I see. Well… I have the papers, Raven, along with the ones
you asked for. Given the situation and the fact that no one can find your
sister, I think we should get on them right away.”

She nods and he removes the documents from his briefcase,
placing them on her overbed table.

“These are for your inheritance, to transfer everything over
to you. Lonnie already got the lump sum amount your father left her.”

She takes his pen, signs in all the designated places, and
then he presents her with more papers.

“These are for changing your beneficiary.” He glances at me
quickly then focuses on Raven once more. “And also putting Mr. Hunter in charge
of any decisions regarding your health and safety.”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupt. “What’s going on, Raven?”

She casts a pleading look at Santini.

“Raven and her sister don’t get along,” he explains. “She
has no other family. She’s named you as her beneficiary and is also basically
giving you next of kin rights.”

“Babe, you know I’d take care of you no matter what,” I say,
stroking her hair.

“I know. I just don’t want Lonnie making any decisions for
me.”

“I got you, doll. Always.”

She smiles and signs the papers then more appear out of the
briefcase.
What exactly does this estate entail?
Her dad was a cop.
Whatever it is, it sure involves a lot of paperwork.

“These are for the apartment. I don’t know—”

“She’s coming home with me. Forget the apartment,” I say
sternly.

We haven’t talked about it, but there’s no way I’m letting
her out of my sight. He waits for her consent then places them back in his
briefcase when she nods. However, another set of papers come out.

“These I’ll have to explain. Once you sign them, you’ll gain
control of a trust fund that was set up when you were a baby,” he tells her.

“Trust fund?” she asks in a confused tone.

“Yes… cash, property, stocks, and bonds. It was stipulated
that it be released to you on your eighteenth birthday.”

“Stipulated by whom?”

Santini pauses then squares his shoulders and meets her
stare. “Your mother.”

***Raven***

My mother? Bullshit. That bitch doesn’t give a fuck about
me.
“Are you kidding me?”

“No, Raven. This is something that both your parents have
been working on since before you were born. I know you think she gave you up
without a second thought, but that’s not true. Your father kept her updated,
sent pictures. She wants to meet you.”

My heart flutters. After all these years… she’s been
checking up on me? “Why now?”

“You’re an adult now. The agreement she signed doesn’t bind
her anymore. In fact, she’s here, in a hotel in Atlanta, waiting for me to call
her. She’s giving you the choice. If you say yes, she’ll come. If not, she’ll
leave.”

I don’t believe my ears. This woman, who I’ve hated my
entire life, is waiting on my say-so to come and meet me. The woman I thought
gave me up without a care could be here in a few hours if I wanted her to.
Tears threaten as I stand at a crossroads. Do I tell her to fuck off and run
back to Mommy and Daddy, or do I give her a chance? A chance to explain her
side… to try and mend what was shattered by her parents before I was even born?

Gage swipes a tear from my cheek and I look to him for
advice. He smiles down at me and nods.

“I think you should meet her.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you want to hear her side?”

“She left us. That’s all I need to know.”

“Don’t you want to know why?” he prods. “I know you have
questions.”

He’s right, as usual. I just don’t know if I can face her.
How can
she
face me after what she did?
She’s got some balls; I’ll
give her that. Maybe I should hear her out.

“You think it’s the right thing?” I ask.

“Give her a chance. You don’t like what she has to say, you
can always tell her to leave.”

Okay… okay. I nod to Mr. Santini. “Make the call.” He leaves
the room and I turn to Gage nervously. “Do you think she’ll like me?”

“Of course she will. She’s going to love you.”

“I don’t know… All these years… What if I can’t forgive her?
She didn’t have to give me up. Daddy would have taken care of us.”

“Stop thinking about it. Just keep an open mind. Listen to
what she has to say and then make a decision.”

Again, he’s right. I know he is, but… eighteen years’ worth
of pain and abandonment issues can’t be erased in a few minutes. I can’t even
begin to imagine what will be going through my mind when she shows up.

“Will you stay with me? When she’s here?”

“If you want me to, of course.”

“I want you.”

“Okay then. That’s settled.”

I give him a small smile, but something beyond his shoulder
catches my attention. “Where did those come from?”

He picks up the vase of beautiful lavender roses and brings
it closer.
How did I miss it until now?

“I brought them.”

“You?” I ask in disbelief.

“Yeah. Is that so hard to believe?”

“You picked them out?”

“Yeah. Closest to blue I could find.”

I can’t believe he bought me flowers. Roses. Mr.
I-Don’t-Do-Romance bought me roses. Granted, this isn’t really a romantic
situation, but the fact that he would even think of getting them might mean a
crack in that hard exterior. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The door opens and Mr. Santini walks back in, followed by
Sheriff Renley and one of his deputies. I squeeze Gage’s fingers.
Have they
come to arrest him again? Could they have found my attacker? Is it too soon?
Renley glances down at our joined hands and raises a questioning brow. Gage
moves closer to my bed and gives him a “yeah, so what?” look. Renley clears his
throat and removes a pen and notepad from his pocket.

“Miss Alvarez, we won’t take up much of your time. We just
need to ask you some questions.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s start with what you did yesterday. From the
beginning.”

“Not much. Gage and I had a late breakfast at Jenny’s, then
he dropped me off at the salon on Main Street. Ellen picked me up around three.
We had lunch at Millie’s and then she took me home.”

He scribbles on his notepad then asks, “What time was that?”

“Around five-thirty, I think.”

“And then what?”

“She left and I got into the shower to get ready for my
party.”

“Did you notice anyone watching or following you? Yesterday
or before?”

“No.” I shake my head. “No one.”

He taps the point of the pen on the pad, deep in thought.
“Take us through everything you did after Ellen dropped you off.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, going through
everything in my mind.

“We talked for a while. I was going on and on about how much
I loved the dress she got me. After she left, I went to my room… then the
bathroom. No… I went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water. I drank maybe
half, left the bottle in my room and
then
got in the shower.”

Slowly, I re-trace my steps, hoping to remember anything
that would help. But for the life of me, nothing’s coming back. “That’s it.”

“The water… Did it taste funny to you?”

“No, not really. Wait… Do you think that’s how I was
drugged?”

“Could be.” He nods to his partner, who acknowledges him
with a nod of his own, then leaves the room.

“Oh, God. That means—”

“He was already there,” Gage says, squeezing my fingers.

“Exactly,” Renley agrees. “Do you remember anything…
anything that could help us find him?”

“No. I didn’t see him. The last thing I remember is getting
into the shower.”

“Didn’t you find any prints? DNA?” Gage asks.

“We’re working on the prints we lifted from the house, but
so far, nothing. Whoever did this was very careful.”

I can’t remember shit, and they can’t find shit. They’re
never going to catch this guy. He’s going to be out there… watching, waiting.
What if he thinks I remember him? He’ll come back and finish the job.
Oh,
God. I can’t breathe.

“I got you, doll. I won’t let him near you. I’ll find him if
it’s the last thing I do.”