RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (31 page)

***Gage***

I watch Renley leave as Raven clutches to me. Her nails are
digging into my back, but I feel nothing. My thoughts are consumed with what
I’m going to do to this fucker when I find him. I’m going to come up with
something special just for him. I am going to put him through so much pain,
he’s going to wish he was never born let alone put his hands on my woman.

“Gage... who would do this?”

“I don’t know. But I’ll find him. I promise I’ll find him.”

“Uh, Raven,” Santini interjects. “If you want to do this
some other time, I can call your mother back—”

“No. I want to get this over with.”

“Of course. I’ll come back once she’s arrived.”

“Thank you.”

I give him my number and tell him to call when they’re on
the way. He programs it into his phone, nods at me, and then leaves. Raven
settles back into her pillows and stares up at me.

“How are you going to find him?” she asks.

“I’ve got all the guys chasing down information. If there’s
anyone who knows something, we’ll find them.”

“And then what?”

“Let me worry about that,” I say as I stroke her hair. She
nods, accepting my words without argument. Yawning, she moves over and taps the
bed for me to get in. As I climb in carefully, I watch her fight to keep her
eyes open. “Tired?”

She doesn’t even answer. She’s out like a light by the time
her head hits my chest. I stare up at the ceiling, my mind going in a million
directions. I need to put a list of suspects together. Shit. It could be
anybody with a grudge against me. It’s going be a long fucking list. I better
talk to Tek, make sure Glenn really is out of town. It could be the guys from
The Muscle. Maybe I didn’t get all of them. Then there were those scum bags
from the Snakes.

I should give Ace a call. I haven’t had any problems with
the Mexicans since I helped with their shipment, but it wouldn’t hurt to reach
out to
Jefe
. Oh, shit. It could have been the fuckers who were jacking
the guns from the Mexicans. Then again, it could be some random motherfucker
who just couldn’t keep his hands off her. No. This was me. She was hurt because
some idiot thought it was the best way to get to me. Well, now they have my
full attention. I’m going to rain down the wrath of Lucifer himself on these
fools.

Raven shifts, trying to get comfortable and I think about
her bound to her bed, helpless and screaming. My poor bird. I told her I’d
protect her and I failed. I promised to keep her safe and I fucking
failed
.
I knew this would happen. I should have stayed away from her. Instead, I
pursued her for my own selfish needs and ended up getting her hurt. This is on
me and once she realizes it, I know I’ll lose her. Forever.

Fuck that. She’s mine. There’s no way I’m losing her. No
fucking way.

E sticks his head through the door and I wave him inside.

“How is she?” he asks in a quiet voice.

“Not good, E. I need to find this motherfucker. Fast.”

“I know. The guys haven’t dug up anything yet, but they’re
not giving up.”

I fill him in on all the ideas I have, and he promises to
take care of everything so I can stay with Raven. I also tell him to get with
Chad, our guy at the lab, and about Rambo’s visit.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“It was the only way to get Renley off my back,” I reply.

“And you trust him? You think he’ll back off?”

“No, but we’ll see.”

He nods and jerks his chin toward Raven. “How long has she
been out?”

“A while,” I answer.

“Her meds must have kicked in.” He pulls up a chair and
stares at the wall in quiet contemplation. “I don’t understand, Gage. Who could
have done this? If it’s a message, as you say, why haven’t we heard anything?
Why didn’t they leave any clues?”

“I don’t know and I hate
not
knowing. How soon can I
get her out of here? At least if I have her at the clubhouse, I’ll know she’s
safe and I can concentrate on finding the fucker.”

“At least a few days. They’ll bring in a rape counsellor
first.”

Fuck. I didn’t even think of that. I’ve been focusing on her
physical injuries, but she’ll be messed up in the head for God knows how long.

“You know anyone she could talk to? After?”

“I know a few psychiatrists I can recommend,” he replies.
“I’ll make some calls, see who can take her.”

“Thanks, man.”

“No problem, brother,” he says while rising. “I’ll go talk
to the guys and start making those calls.”

“Okay. Keep me updated.”

“Got it.”

“Anything on her sister?”

“Still not answering her phone, but Tek tracked her credit
card. Last purchase in Georgia was at a gas station a few days ago. Next was a
motel in Jacksonville. Everything else is in Miami. Looks like she went home.”

“Tell him to stop wasting time on her. We don’t need her
anymore.”

He nods. “Sure thing.”

He leaves and it’s just me and my thoughts once again. There
are too many unknown variables, too many questions with no answers. Someone has
them. I just need to find him. Therein lies another question—how? If all our
information channels are dry then this guy is either really good or he’s new
around here. Or maybe he’s
not
from around here. He could be from
another fucking country for all I know.

Raven groans and shifts in her sleep again. I hold her as
tightly as I can without hurting her and she settles. I close my eyes and try
to quiet my thoughts. Overthinking the situation never works.

I’ll get it. Trust I will. On my life and everything I own,
I’ll figure it out.

***Raven***

I take a deep breath before I even open my eyes. There’s
just something reassuring about his scent. Funny, before today, the hint of his
cologne would set my heart racing and arouse me to no end. Now, it’s calming.
It’s my anchor in this stormy sea of hurt and confusion. I guess that makes him
my ship...
and
my captain. He’s the only one who can help me navigate
the waters. He’s the only one who can save me.

I can’t hug him because of my bandages. Hell, I can’t even
move my arm. A dislocated shoulder. I guess I put up quite a fight, for all the
good it did me. I was still raped.

The word sounds so foreign. It still doesn’t feel real. How
could this have happened? How could there have been someone in the house with
me and I didn’t know? I couldn’t have been that distracted. Who the hell is
this guy? How long was he there? God, how long has he been watching me? This
must have been going on for a while because he obviously had a well-thought-out
plan. How in the hell is Gage going to find him? He could be a million miles
away right now. Or not. He could be waiting in the wings to finish the job.

I burrow impossibly close into Gage’s side and feel his
chest expand with a deep breath.

“Babe?” he says in a sleepy voice.

“I woke you. Sorry.”

“Baby girl, I’m here for
you
. I’ll stay up all night
if you want me to.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, even though those words will never
be enough to express my gratitude.

“You don’t need to thank me, either. This is where I should
be. I feel helpless as fuck right now. If all I can do is hold and console you
then that’s what I’ll do.”

“You’re not helpless.”

“Yeah? You got hurt on my watch, and I can’t even find the
motherfucker who did it.”

“It’s only been a day.”

“Too fucking long,” he says. “He should have been fish food
already.”

“You’ll find him.”

With all my heart, I believe he will. He’s the type of man
who achieves whatever he sets his mind to. When he does, I want to be there. I
want to watch the light in the man’s eyes go out as Gage drains every drop of
blood from his body.

Jesus. What am I thinking?
I can’t let this loser
drag me down to his level. I can’t let him do it to Gage, either.

“Gage—”

Cindy, the nurse, walks in and interrupts what I was about
to say. She gives me a bright smile and places a tray of food on the table.

“Lunch time,” she chirps.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Raven, you need to eat,” Gage tells me.

“He’s right,” Cindy agrees. “You have to try, sweetie.”

“Fine, but I don’t want that.” I jerk my chin at the tray.
“Could you re-heat the soup my friend brought?”

“Sure thing. I’ll be right back.”

She takes the tray and my soup and leaves. Gage climbs out
of the bed and stretches, placing both hands at the small of his back.

“Sorry,” I mutter. “This can’t be comfortable for you.”

“I’m fine. You need anything?”

“Can you help me out of bed?”

“Why?”

“Bathroom.”

He carefully picks me up and takes me to the bathroom
instead. With even more care, he places me on my feet.

“You need help?” he asks.

“No. I can handle it.”

“Okay. Just call out for me when you’re done,” he says as he
closes the door.

After he leaves, I take a look at all the stuff the doctor
gave me that will be bathroom staples for me for the next couple of weeks—a
peri bottle for squirting warm water over “the area,” gauze pads, and paper
wipes.
Fuck my life. All this just to pee.
I sit gingerly on the toilet
and do my best to follow the doctor’s instructions. It still burns like hell. I
bite my lip and suffer silently through it. All this pain and soreness...
God,
please let it be over soon.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I try to make
my way back to the bed but only manage to get as far as the doorway. Gage
rushes to me, picking me up before I fall flat on my ass.
That would have
been great.

“I told you to call me,” he chastises.

“I thought I could make it. I didn’t realize it would hurt
just to walk.”

“Next time, you call me.”

“I will.”

Trust me, I will.
My legs felt like jelly after just
one step.

He places me back on the bed then sits on the edge, reaching
for a bowl on the table. I watch him with a small smile as he scoops up some of
the soup and blows on the spoon gently. I let him feed me, not only because I
think it’s cute but also because I probably wouldn’t eat it otherwise. His
phone rings just as I have the last spoonful. He answers it but doesn’t say
much. When he hangs up, he takes a deep breath.

“That was Santini. He’s on his way here... with your
mother.”

Shit. I can’t believe she’s actually coming. What was I
thinking? Why didn’t I postpone it?
The first time I meet my mother, I’ll
be in a hospital bed, recovering from a rape.
Great
.
That should
leave a lasting impression.

It’s not too late. I can have Gage call Santini and tell him
to wait until I’m better.

“You’ll be fine, Raven. If anything, you need her now more
than ever. I’ll be right here with you.”

I need her. I
need
her? I never needed her before,
and I certainly don’t need her now. She can run back to Mommy and Daddy, for
all I care. When she gave me up, she gave up any chance of being in my life.
That’s exactly what I’m going to tell her when she walks through that door.

***Raven***

Gage emerges from the bathroom with neatly combed hair and a
clean-shaven face. In his biker gear, he’s the picture of the man your mother
would warn you to stay away from. Right now, he looks like the kind of man your
dad would be proud to have as a son-in-law.

“So, this is what it takes to get you to comb your hair?”

“Hey,” he shrugs. “It’s not every day you meet your
girlfriend’s estranged mother.”

Girlfriend. It sounds so strange coming from him. Strange
but wonderful. “Yeah. Don’t get too attached.”

“Promise me you’ll at least give her a chance.”

“Why?” I ask. “Why do you want me to play nice with her?”

He takes my hand as he sits on the edge of the bed. “She’s
alive, Raven. She’s here, and she’s trying to connect with you. I’d give
anything to have my mom here.” He drops a gentle kiss on my knuckles as he
continues, “You have a second chance. Don’t waste it.”

His mother. He lost her at such a young age. At least I
didn’t know what I was missing; I never had that mother-daughter bond. He had
years with her before she was taken from him.

“What was she like?”

“Mom?” He smiles wistfully. “She was beautiful. The kindest,
most caring woman you’d ever meet. I don’t know what she saw in Chopper.” He
chuckles then trails his index finger down my cheek and under my chin. “She
would have loved you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Now, promise me.”

“Fine. I promise.”

“Good.”

He walks to the corner of the room where the bag Chrissy
brought me is sitting. After rummaging through it, he comes back with a
hairbrush. I reach for it but instead of handing it to me, he proceeds to brush
my hair.

“Okay. Who are you and what have you done with the real
Gage?”

“Get used to it, doll. I’m going to be doing stuff like this
until you can do it yourself.”

The day we met comes creeping back into my mind. Me falling
as I climbed off his bike, and him picking me up and carrying me to the door.
He’d said basically the same thing. Even then, he was looking out for me,
taking care of me. I was such a bitch to him back then. I’m glad he didn’t take
no for an answer.

“There. As gorgeous as ever.”

He presses his lips to my forehead and I take a deep breath,
not only to get a whiff of his scent but to calm my nerves.
She’ll be here
any minute now. What do I do… say? What on Earth could she have to say to me
after all this time?
I start chewing on my thumbnail anxiously. I wonder
what she looks like. Daddy never talked about her. It was Lonnie who overheard
a conversation between Daddy and his partner then happily relayed the story to
me. When I asked him about it, he didn’t deny it. He just asked me where I
heard it and then told me to never ask about her again. It seems strange to
hear now that he’d been in contact with her, sending her pictures and updates.
It just doesn’t add up.

There’s a knock on the door and when Gage opens it, Mr.
Santini steps in.
Oh, God. She’s here.
My breathing becomes rapid and my
heart begins to beat a crazy rhythm. Gage comes back to me, taking my hand in
his.

“Are you ready?” Santini inquires.

“No.” I look to Gage then back to him and nod. “Let’s get
this over with.”

Gage’s fingers tighten around mine as Santini opens the
door. I watch the doorway, holding my breath, waiting for her to appear. A
woman steps into the space apprehensively. She gasps at the sight of me then
quickly hides whatever emotion it evoked—surprise, disappointment? Maybe it was
pity. I
am
in a hospital bed, after all. I take in every detail—brunette,
hair in a fancy side chignon, nice figure. She’s beautiful... elegant, from her
preppy clothes to her diamond earrings. This is my mother?

She does the same to me but while my gaze is evaluative,
hers is filled with wonderment. She steps inside and gives me a nervous smile.

“Raven,” Santini says. “This is Laurelyn Marchand.” He waves
her forward and smiles at me. “Laurelyn, this is Raven.”

I watch her move closer, curiosity taking hold of me.
Who
is this woman? Why is she here? After all this time, what does she want?
She looks briefly at Gage and then back to me.

“Hello, Raven.”

Her voice is just like the rest of her—beautiful. I stare
into her eyes and see a mirror image of my own. Those are my eyes. I have her
eyes. It’s her. It’s
her
. My... mother.

I break the fuck down.

She reaches for me and I shrink from her touch, leaning in
to Gage. He wraps his arms around me, holding me as I sob uncontrollably.
I
can’t do this. I don’t know why I thought I could, especially today.

“I got you, doll.”

I bury my face in his chest, unable to stop the flow of
tears. All my life, this woman was nothing but an idea. Now she’s here, flesh
and blood, standing before me. I thought I’d be angry, that I’d tell her to
fuck off. Instead, I’m flooded with unwanted emotions—hurt, fear, uncertainty.
I always told myself Daddy was more than enough, that I didn’t need her, but I
did. I needed my mother, and she was never there. What if she does it again?
She can decide I’m not what she expected and disappear just as suddenly as she
appeared. Then what? I’ll be left in the same situation, only knowing she
wasn’t forced to leave me this time. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.
I couldn’t.

I let out my frustrations the only way I can right now—by
crying a river. Hell, an entire ocean. Gage just holds me, rocking me gently.
The solidity of his presence calms me. He’s the only certainty in my life, the
one person I can count on. If this woman, Laurelyn Marchand, decides she wants
to run off again, I know I have him.

I try to pull myself together, wiping at my tears with the
backs of my hands. Gage hands me his bandana and I use that instead. When I
look back to her,
Laurelyn
, she’s doing the same, only with a dainty
hanky. Why the hell is
she
crying? I watch her and wait for her to say
or do something. I’m definitely not going to be the one to break the ice.

“You’re even more beautiful than your pictures,” she chokes
out.

I resist the urge to break down again because I can’t show
any more weakness than I already have. I have to make her see I’ve managed
without her so far and I’ll be just fine when she leaves again. She clears her
throat and reaches into her giant purse, pulling out a photo album. Taking a
tentative step forward, she offers it to me. I take it, keeping my eyes on her
as I place it on my lap. When I open it, I see it’s actually a scrapbook. The
first page has my full name and date of birth in decorative letters. The next
has various baby pictures. I flip through the book, seeing pictures from every
major “first” from my childhood—first time crawling, first step, first word,
first day of school, first tooth I lost. Then the pictures become less
frequent.

“Your father sent me a picture of you on your birthday every
year.”

So that’s why he always insisted I get dressed up for a
birthday picture.
The last one is from my seventeenth birthday. I snap the
book shut. What’s the point of treasuring pictures when she could have had the
real thing?

“Why?” I ask as I stare into her eyes.

“I couldn’t be with you—”

“Why are you here?” I cut her off impatiently.

Gage squeezes my shoulder. Probably a gentle reminder that I
promised to give her a chance. Her bottom lip trembles and tears pool in her
eyes once more. I steel myself against her waterworks. I can’t let them affect
me.

“I never wanted to give you up,” she sobs.

“Then why did you? How
could
you?”

“I was young. I thought I had no other choice. My parents
brainwashed me into thinking I was doing the right thing.”

“Did it feel right?”

“No,” she admits. “I felt horrible. There wasn’t a day that
went by and I didn’t think of you. I’ve been waiting for this day since the
moment your father took you from my arms and walked out of the hospital.”

“So, what? You come here and give me some sob story and
we’re supposed to kiss and make up?”

“Raven,” Gage says sternly next to me.

I roll my eyes. I have a stranger trying to act like my
mother and a boyfriend trying to scold me like a father. Laurelyn gives him a
curious stare and he extends his hand to her.

“Gage Hunter.”

She takes his hand gingerly.
Stuck-up bitch
.

“Mr. Hunter. You are...?” She raises a perfectly arched
eyebrow.

“He’s my boyfriend,” I snap before he can answer. He clears
his throat awkwardly, and pulls his hand away. She gives him a weak smile then
turns back to me. If she’s going to judge him, she can turn around and leave
right now.

“I see. I’m glad you have someone. Your father told me you
and your sister aren’t close.”

“How often did you two talk?”

I can’t believe Daddy had that much contact with her and
never said anything to me. He could have at least let me know she was checking
up on me. Then again, I know I would have wanted to talk to her, see her.
That’s probably why he didn’t.

“Rarely. I wasn’t supposed to have any contact with him
either, so we had to be very careful.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry… about what happened to him. I wanted to be there
but…” she trails off, looking to the side.

I stare down at my hand in my lap and absentmindedly pick at
the white sheet. I don’t really know what to say to her.

“Raven, I didn’t expect this to be easy. I know it will take
time, but... I’m here. I want to be a part of your life. I
need
you to
be a part of mine.”

“Why?”

Tears begin to stream down her cheeks and she blinks rapidly
to try and chase them away. When Gage’s arm tightens around my shoulder, I
realize I’m doing the same.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I found out I was pregnant.
Giving you up was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my entire life.
Staying
away from you was the second hardest.”

She reaches out to me again and this time, I let her touch
me. She gently strokes my hair and then cups my cheek. I close my eyes, leaning
into her touch as her sweet, floral scent fills my nostrils. I feel Gage slowly
pull away and soft, delicate arms replace his.

“My baby girl,” she croons.

I don’t know how long she held me while we both cried our
eyes out but when I pull away from her, I feel raw. My nose is stuffy and my
eyes feel like they’re almost swollen shut. She’s all red and puffy and
desperately trying to compose herself. I hope she doesn’t think that hug meant
everything’s all good. We’re
so
far from good. But maybe, just maybe,
I’m more willing to give her a chance.

“How do you feel?” she asks. “Drake told me what happened.”

“I don’t know. Okay, I guess.”

“I want you to know I’ll do anything I can to help. Whatever
you need, you let me know. I’m heading to the sheriff’s office after this.
We’re offering a reward for information.”

“We? Who’s ‘we’?”

“Me and Daniel... my husband.”

“You’re married?”

“Yes,” she replies. “We’ve been married eight years.”

“And he knows about me?”

“I told him about you on our first date. He’s here with me
and wants to meet you.”

“He wants to meet me?” I can’t believe this. I not only get
a mother but a shiny, new stepdad all in the same day.

“Yes. We have a six-year-old, Dani. She’s here, too. Excited
to meet her big sister.”

Sister? I have a little sister?
I take a deep breath,
and as if he senses I’m about to overload, Gage takes my hand. I look to him
for guidance and he kisses my forehead.

“One thing at a time, baby doll. You set the pace.”

He’s right. This is my show. I get to decide who, what,
where, and when. I think I’ve had enough for one day.

“Not today. Please.”

“Of course. He’ll be here for a few days then he has to go
back to work. Dani and I will be here... for a while.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll… uh... I’ll come back tomorrow.”

Her statement sounded more like a question, so I nod. She
looks like she wants to hug me again but thinks better of it. Picking up her
purse from the floor—I didn’t even realize she’d dropped it—she heads for the
door. She stops in the doorway and turns back to me.

“Thank you, Raven.”

And then she’s gone. Mr. Santini nods to us and follows her
out. Gage sits on the edge of the bed and stares at me intently.

“Well?”

“Well...” I shrug. “At least it’s taken my mind off
everything else.”

“And?” he prods.

“And... maybe you were right. I’ll give her a chance, but
she only gets one.”

“What I saw of the woman who walked in here... I’m pretty
sure one is all she needs, Raven.”

“I hope so.”

God, I hope so.