RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (35 page)

***Gage***

My heart leaps into my throat when I walk into the bar and
see her sitting on the couch with the prospects. Why? One, she’s out of the
bedroom; two, she’s smiling. It’s been way too long since I saw her gorgeous
smile. It grows even wider when she sees me.

“Gage!” she shouts in excitement.

She jumps to her feet and potato chips go flying everywhere.
She almost trips trying to get to me but I catch her, wrapping an arm around
her waist. When she looks up at me, she can barely keep her eyes open. They’re
bloodshot and she stinks of reefer. That explains all the junk food scattered
on the table. My baby has the munchies.

“You’ve been smoking?”

“I may have had a joint… or two… or three.” She covers her
mouth and giggles.

I glare at Ron and he has the sense to look sorry. “You gave
her weed?”

“Don’t… don’t blame him,” she says, petting my chest. “He
didn’t force me. I just needed to… get away.”

Fuck. She’s worse than I thought if she thinks she needs
drugs to cope. I take her hand and lead her to my room. She flings herself onto
the bed, turning over to watch me while I undress down to my boxers. Her eyes
follow my every movement, but she says nothing. There’s a knock at the door and
I know it’s Crow come to collect my clothes for disposal. I bring them to him and
turn back around to see her still staring.

“See something you like?”

“You’re hot.”

I chuckle and shake my head. “That’s the weed talking.”

“No, it’s not.” She slinks off the bed and stands before me.

I watch with interest as she traces the tattoo on my sternum
with her index finger. My body becomes alert at her soft touch. I know I should
stop her, but I don’t. Maybe I’m selfish, but I miss her. I miss her hands on
me. If I can have her back for even a few minutes, I’ll take it.

She flattens her palms and slowly slides them down my chest,
my stomach. Resting her hands on my hips, she peeks up at me.

“Kiss me, Gage.”

I take a deep breath, trying to control myself as her arms
go around my waist.

“Please. I need to see… to
feel
something.”

She stares up at me with beseeching eyes, and I just can’t
turn her down. I cradle her face in my hands, brushing her cheek with my thumb.
As I lean in, she closes her eyes. My lips touch hers and I hear a moan. At
first, I think it’s her, then I realize it’s me. My body’s response to her is
immediate.
Jesus.

I take it slow, gently moving my lips against hers. She
steps closer, urging me to be more forceful, but I keep myself in check. I lick
her bottom lip. She opens for me the way she usually does, and I slip my tongue
inside. As I tease her tongue with mine, she grabs my hand and places it on her
breast. This time, I know it’s me groaning. I find her nipple through her shirt
and circle it with my thumb. Trailing my other hand down her body, I grab her
ass, and pull her to me. Everything in me is screaming at me to stop. I know
she’s nowhere near ready, physically or emotionally. I know it’s the high she’s
on, but I want her to feel how hard I am for her. She pulls back and I
instantly think I’ve scared her off, done too much too soon, but she just
stares at me with dead eyes.

“Nothing,” she whispers distractedly. “Still nothing.”

I release her and raise a questioning brow. “Babe?”

She grabs the front of her shirt, brings it to her nose, and
sniffs it. “I stink. I’m gonna take a shower.”

I watch in confusion as she walks to the bathroom.
What
the fuck just happened?
That must have been some strong weed. I sit on the
bed with my head in my hands as I think about the events of the night. I know
it’s a long shot trying to trace the drug from the source, but it’s one I have
to take. Somebody, somewhere along the line must have heard something. Once we
find the distributor in ATL, I’m hoping we can shorten the list of suspects.
There aren’t a lot of dealers around here, and it’s not a common drug.

She walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around
her hair and another around her body. My still-hard dick throbs at the sight of
her. I grab fresh boxers and head to the shower, leaving her to get dressed. As
I stand under the water, I look down at my dick, wondering if I should rub one
out. Shit. I haven’t choked the chicken since… I don’t know when.

I shower quickly and climb into bed next to her. She rolls
over to face me, and I curl my arm around her.

“Gage?” She stares up at me with wide eyes.

“Hmm?”

“Do you still like me?”

“Of course I do,” I answer without hesitation. “You’re my
baby doll.”

She places her hand on my jaw and gives me a weak smile. “I
still like you, too. I promise.”

“That’s it? You’re not going to tell me I’m your
monster-dick
papi chulo
?”

She throws her head back and laughs, and I have to take a
moment to watch her. I haven’t heard it in so long I almost forgot what it was
like. Her body shakes against me as it flows through her. I’m the reason it
disappeared, and I feel a small victory for bringing it back. I pull her closer
as she brings her gaze back to mine.

“
Sí
,” she whispers. “
Eres mi papi chulo con una grandísima
verga
.”

“Good.” I kiss her forehead. “Go to sleep, doll.”

***

A scream drags me out of slumber. I turn on the lamp only to
see Raven thrashing next to me, fighting off someone who’s not there.
Fuck.

I straddle her, grabbing her arms. “Raven, wake up!”

Her eyes snap open, but they may as well have been closed
because the only thing I see is fear. She struggles against my hold, breathing
heavily, and screaming for me to let her go.

“Raven.” I give her a little shake. “It’s me… Gage.”

E comes rushing into the room, a few of the guys close on
his heels. “What’s going on?”

“She’s having a nightmare. Won’t snap out of it.”

He hurries over, snapping his fingers in front of her eyes.
She doesn’t respond. Whatever’s happening to her in this dream, she’s begging
for it to stop. I know she’s dreaming about the rape and just like I couldn’t
help her then, I can’t help her now. I didn’t even see E move but he’s back now
with a needle. He sticks it into her arm and after a few seconds, she calms
down. She goes still and her eyes flutter closed. I comb my fingers through my
hair and drop down next to her.

How the fuck do I fix this?

How do I fix
her
?

***Raven***

I wake up to Gage sitting in a chair by the bed, just
watching me. Yawning, I rub the sleep from my eyes. I feel so rested. Better
than I’ve felt in a long time. Parts of last night start coming back to me. Me
and the prospects, all that weed… no wonder I was knocked out. But then, I
remember the dream. It was clearer this time. I saw my room, the rope that kept
me bound to my bed. I saw
him
. He was standing by my door, holding a
knife, his face hidden by a ski mask. I saw myself struggling as he moved
toward me menacingly.

I jump out of bed and rush to my artist’s table.

“Babe?”

I ignore Gage as I grab a pencil and begin to sketch the
images from my dream. I feel him standing over me but I’m not aware of anything
else, just my pencil moving over the paper. When I’m done, I drop the pencil
and bring my trembling fingers to my lips. There it is, in black and white.
There’s no denying it now. Now, it feels real. This man broke into my house,
violated, tortured, and brutalized me. He took something from me that I can
never get back, something that was not his to take. And it makes me mad. It
pisses me the fuck off.

I spring to my feet, grab the side of the table and fling it
to the floor. Gage reaches for me but I march to his punching bag, needing to
release some of this anger bubbling inside me. As soon as I throw a punch, he
grabs me and wraps his arms around me so he’s keeping mine at my sides.

“You’ll mess up your shoulder.”

“I don’t care!” I scream. “Let me go!”

“Calm down.”

I struggle against him but he’s too strong. I’m helpless,
just like I was that night. I start sobbing and go lax in his arms. He slides
down to the floor along with me and holds me while I cry.

Why? Why did this have to happen to me? Is God punishing
me? What did I do to deserve this?

Gage whispers in my ear that he’ll make it right, that he’s
doing everything he can to find the people responsible. I hope he does. No, I
know
he will. When he does, I want him to handle it. I want him to make the
motherfucker suffer. Fuck letting the police handle it.

I turn to face him and look him in the eyes so he knows I’m
serious.

“Find him, Gage. You find him and you hurt him the way he
hurt me. Find him and
kill
him.”

He nods, taking my face in his hands. “Even if I’d never
killed anyone before, that fucker is a dead man. For you, Raven, I’d pick a
motherfucker up and drop him on the sun.”

I climb up and straddle him, wrapping my arms around his
shoulders. His are reassuring as they tighten around me.

“It was so real,” I whisper into his neck.

“I got you, Raven. I
got
you.”

“I know.” I pull back and stare into his eyes. “You’re a
good man, Gage. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

I leave him there and head to the bathroom. When I return,
he’s sitting on the bed, studying the picture I drew. He curls his arm around
my shoulder, pulling me into his side as I sit next to him.

“Why were you watching me sleep?”

“Your nightmare. You were screaming, fighting… wouldn’t wake
up. E had to give you something to calm you down.”

“How long were you watching me? Did you even get any sleep?”

“Some.” He kisses my forehead and moves to the closet.
“Don’t worry about me.”

Easier said than done. How can I not worry? He hasn’t been
sleeping much already, and now I’m fighting him in my sleep.
Great
. I
notice he’s pulling out all black clothes again, so I know he’s heading out on
another mission.

“What happened last night?” I ask him.

He gives me that look of his that’s supposed to tell me he
can’t say anything, but I’m not having it today. “This isn’t club business.
This is about me, so you can tell me.
What
happened last night?”

He sighs and shakes his head in resignation. “Fine, but the
only thing I’m telling you is that we found the guy responsible for the drug
that was used on you.”

“And?”

“And he won’t be a problem for anyone anymore.”

Good. It’s good, right? I mean, at least we’re getting
somewhere now. Plus, he’s saved countless other women who would have gone
through what I did. Now, I need to know what the next step is.

“And today?”

“Today, I’m heading to Atlanta. I’ll be gone all day, so
maybe you should call Chrissy. She misses you.”

“I miss her, too, but why are you going to Atlanta?”

“Following a lead.” He grabs the black duffel bag again and
it makes me curious as to exactly what is in it. “I’ll tell you about it
tomorrow.”

“Take me with you.”

“What? No, I’m not taking you with me.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” he says. “I need you here where I know you’re
safe. What we’re doing is dangerous. It’s no place for you.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts’,” he states with finality. “You’re staying here.”

“Fine.” I roll my eyes and reach for the phone he bought me.
This is the first time I’m even looking at it. I turn it on and within seconds,
notifications start coming in. I go to the contacts and see he’s programmed in
a few numbers—Chrissy, Ellen, himself, Laurelyn, Nita, Ron, and Toni. I send a
text to Chrissy asking her to come over, and another to Toni saying I’ll call
later.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” I answer as I read Chrissy’s reply. “Chrissy’s on
her way.”

He crouches in front of me and takes my hand, his expression
worrisome. “Raven, I think it’s time to give the therapist a call. You need to
talk to someone who can help you work through your emotions.”

“Okay.” I nod.

“I’ll have E make the call.”

He kisses my forehead, grabs his bag, and heads for the
door. I decide to follow him out because I’ve been cooped up in this room for
far too long. The bar is like a beehive. I’ve never seen so many people in here
before, and they’re all moving around with purpose. The guys are getting ready
to leave, but the Hounds look busy, too.

“What’s going on?”

“Chopper,” Gage answers. “He’s preparing for Thanksgiving
tomorrow.”

Thanksgiving? That would mean it’s November. Not only that
but the
end
of November.
Holy shit.
What have I been doing for
a whole month?
I missed Halloween,
Dia
de
los
Muertos
…
I didn’t even light a candle for Daddy.

Chopper comes out of the kitchen, giving out directions left
and right. The moment he spots me, he comes right over and pulls me into his
arms.

“Oh, lil darlin’. It’s good to see you.”

“You, too, Chopper.”

“Come.” He ushers me away. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

He doesn’t even spare Gage a glance. I turn my head to look
back at him, but he just shakes his head and moves toward the door. In the
kitchen, Chopper chases everyone out and lifts me onto the counter. I’m a
little surprised but I say nothing.

“What do you want?” he asks. “Pancakes, eggs, bacon?
Anything you want.”

“I’m not really hungry.” I return his smile. “Toast would be
fine.”

“Nonsense.” He grabs a tray of eggs from the fridge. “I’ll
make you an omelet.”

I watch him, wondering if he knows how alike he and his son
are. They each have their own brand of “sweet,” but I would bet Chopper was as
much of a player as Gage is. Hell, he probably still is.

He pours me a glass of orange juice then gets started on the
eggs.

“How do you feel, darlin’?”

I raise both shoulders in a shrug. “Okay, I guess. I just
want it all to be over.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” He turns to
face me with a determined stare. “If Gage can’t get to the bottom of this then
I will. You have my word on that.”

Overcome with emotion, I hop off the counter and wrap my
arms around him. He curls one arm around me and kisses the top of my head.

“It’ll be over soon, baby girl.”

“Thanks, Chopper.”

Gage walks in, brows drawn together. I detach myself from
his dad and transfer to his arms.

“You okay?” he asks.

I nod into his chest. “Are you leaving now?”

“Yeah. Just came in to let you know.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

He takes my hand and I follow him outside, ignoring the
curious stares of the other women. I really don’t know any of them except for
Deena and the blonde. I guess they all want to know what’s going on with the
girl who was raped. I keep my head down and let Gage lead the way. Out in the
courtyard, the guys are propped on their bikes waiting. They all smile when they
see me approaching; except Tek, who’s off by himself, immersed in something on
a laptop. I release Gage’s hand and stand in the middle of what’s supposed to
be a group of big, scary bikers.

“I just want to say thank you. I know you guys are out there
doing whatever it is you’re doing for me. I really appreciate it.”

Allah is closest to me, so I hug him first. “Ain’t nothin’
to it, shawty,” he says in a low voice.

I give each of them a hug and they all echo the sentiment in
their own words. When I get to Razor, he picks me up in a bear hug and gives me
a squeeze. He places me back on my feet and I make my way over to Gage. He’s
sitting on his bike, observing me. Draping his arm around my waist, he pulls me
close. His right hand is resting on the handlebar and I cringe at the cuts and
bruises on his knuckles.

“Be careful.”

“Always, doll. I’ll see you later.”

With a jerk of his head, he motions toward the gates and I
turn to see Chrissy walking in. I wave to her and she takes off running. Gage
releases me and I meet her halfway. I don’t think anyone has ever hugged me so
tightly. She might just cut off my air supply.

“Ray! God, I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

She pulls back and looks me up and down. “You look good. How
do you feel?”

“Better.”

“I’m so glad you texted. I was worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I just—”

“You don’t have to explain. Come on, I need to get you
inside.”

“Why?”

“Because,” she says. “You’re half-nekkid and barefoot.”

I look down and see she’s right. Gage’s T-shirt pretty much
covers me up but other than panties, I’m not wearing anything else. I’m
surprised he didn’t say something. Walking back to the clubhouse, the guys pass
us on their way out. I wave to Gage and he smiles at me. I hope he has good
news when he returns.

After I have my breakfast Chopper made me, Chrissy and I
lock ourselves in Gage’s room. We catch up and call Toni. I appreciate the fact
that she hasn’t dwelled on the reason we haven’t seen each other. In fact, she
hasn’t even mentioned the rape or asked what I’ve been doing—only
how
I’ve been doing. Toni was the same. I realize I have two of the best friends
anyone could ever ask for. Instead of locking myself away from everyone, maybe
I should have been doing the opposite.

“Have you spoken to your mother?”

“No. I should probably call her. I’ve missed Dani.”

“Do it,” she encourages me. “Skype them.”

With a deep breath, I grab my phone, download Skype, and
sign in. When Laurelyn answers, I can see she’s both surprised and happy.

“Raven! It’s so good to see you. How are you?”

“I’m okay. Sorry it took me so long.”

“I’ve missed you, but I understand.”

“How are you?” I ask.

“Oh, I’m fine. Just making dinner.”

“Dani?”

“She’s in her playroom. Let me get her.”

The little girl lets out an excited scream when Laurelyn
tells her I’m on the phone. She puts a smile on my face the moment I see her
toothless grin.

“Raven!” she shrieks.

“Hey, pumpkin.”

“I missed you. Mommy said you weren’t feeling well because
of your accident. Are you better now?”

“I am. I promise I won’t stay away so long anymore.”

“Do you want to see my dolls?”

She chatters away for a while before Laurelyn takes the
phone from her. She goes back to the kitchen, telling me she wants to talk to
me about something.

“Raven, I was wondering… if you’d like to come out for a
visit.”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Please. If you like it, maybe you’d consider… moving in?”

“You want me to live with you?” I ask, astonished.

“I do. I was planning on asking you when I came to Georgia
but with everything that happened, I decided to give you some time.”

“I mean… I love Miami and I miss it sometimes, but my life
is here now.”

Or maybe it isn’t such a bad idea. I could have a fresh
start, remove myself and my drama out of Gage’s life. I could give him a fresh
start, too.
Could I do it? Could I leave him?

“Just think about it,” Laurelyn urges.

“I will.”

She gives me an optimistic smile before I say my goodbyes
and end the call.

“Would you go back?”

“I don’t know,” I answer Chrissy’s question. “Maybe.”

“Do you think Gage would let you leave?”

“Honestly, I think he’d try to stop me. But it’s my
decision.”

“Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Even if you managed to
leave, he’d probably drag your ass back.”

“You’re right. It can’t hurt to visit, though. Besides, if I
wanted to move back, I have Daddy’s house. That way, I can be close to them but
still have my own space.”

“True.” She looks around the room then back at me with a
deep frown. “Is that your stuff?” She points to my two suitcases leaning on the
wall.

Gage said he was leaving the unpacking to me, but I never
got past underwear. Chrissy jumps up and starts going through the cases.

“I’ll unpack, you make space in the closet.”

“I don’t know. Gage has a lot of clothes. I have two drawers
that are pretty empty. We could put some stuff in those.”