Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) (22 page)

"Where's
Kellie
?"
Julie
asked when
Cade
stared too long.

"
Brushing down one of the horses we used today.
She really seemed to enjoy helping me out today. And the kids all loved her.
She's helping old
Caleb
now
;
they sure seem to g
et along well. He enjoys
her company
as much as I do
,
"
Cade
answered
,
glancing toward the barn.

"I'm not sure I've met him
.
"
Julie
's brows furrowed.

"He's been with us a while. He's older than most of the cowboys around here, but he's very good with horses
,
"
Cade
informed her.
"Your dad hired him himself."

"Really, that's kind of unusual, isn't it?"

"I thought so
, at the time, but the old man had a soft spot for old cowboys
,
"
Cade
added.

"
It seems so strange coming home and him not here. I keep thinking I'll see him walk out of the barn one day and smile at me. But I guess that will never happen again."

"You're missing him. That's natural."

"
I do miss him, but I've no right to complain."

"You
r
dad knew how you felt."
Cade
smiled down at her as he leaned toward her.

"
And
you're very good at making others feel better
about their mistakes
,
" she blurted
, changing the subject
.

"Am I?
"
Cade
remarked as he pulled the gate closed and came to her side of the corral.

"You like being a father?" she asked.

He nodded,
and
then
he
reached
over
to touch her chin and pull it around so he could look into her eyes. "Among other things, yes, I do."

His fingers burned into her chin.
The moment seemed to stretch forever, there were no words between them, but the look in his eyes said volumes.

Julie
swallowed hard. "I guess I better be getting back to the house…"

"That might be a good idea…"
H
e smiled temptingly at her.

"What do you mean…?" she asked breathlessly.

"Because if you don't, I might do this…" he whispered just as his head bent and his lips feather
-
touched hers.

Julie
felt herself melting into him, but he didn't allow the kiss to go on, just to tempt and tease her into a false submission.
She got a whiff of
light
cologne, a taste of
remembrance
and a sense of hope and joy that filled her
with awe. She wanted to explore those feelings, but he was having none of that.

"Goodnight
,
Julie
,
"
h
e whispered as he pulled away and looked directly into her eyes.

The look on his face told her he wasn't any more satisfied than she.

She walked back to the house on shaky feet. Coming home had reminded her of many things, but she suddenly realized she hadn't forgotten one moment she'd spent with Cade.

Kellie
watched her out of the corner of her eye that night. She didn't smile, didn't talk,
and just
watched.

Julie
could
n't explain all the mixed emotions running through her, and especially to
Kellie
.

Chapter
Twelve

"Cade, I wanted to let you know I'm enrolling
Kellie
in school here
,
"
Julie
said as she walked up to him in the coral
a few days later
.

"That's great. I'd be glad to help see she gets to school every day. As long as I'm not imposing
,
"
Cade
informed her, busy letting a heifer up that he tagged.

"I don't mind at all, and
you're not imposing. T
hank you
.
"
Julie
smiled down at him.

As the calf ra
n away,
Cade
stood up, bringing
himself closer to her.

"I want you to understand that I
don't intend you doing it all for
Kellie
any longer,
Julie
. I'm her father and I want to take an interest in her schoolwork and life. I don't want you feeling as though you are alone in this. You aren't.
Not anymore.
"

Julie
stared at him a little longer than she should have if his face was any measure
.
"That is kind of you…"

"No, it isn't kind, honey. She's mine too. I love her
,
"
Cade
said softly.

"I never dreamed you'd have room for her in your heart, Cade. It makes me very happy, for her sake as well as yours."
Julie
tried to smile.

"I guess it's too soon to ask what you're going to do when you leave here,"
Cade
asked
,
looking away.

"I haven't given it a thought
,
"
Julie
admitted. "
Wendy
has kept us so busy with chores I haven't had any thoughts about that.
I've got months to figure that out.
"

"Yeah,
Wendy
takes after
Wade
, always
busy. She reminds me of someone else I used to know.
"

"Really, only I only had a crush. I think
Wendy
has real feelings. She's had to sort of grow up a lot when most of us took off. I respect her for who she is, a woman."

"You are probably very right about that. I wouldn't know."
Cade
smiled indulgently."I want you to
know I plan on providing for
Kellie
as best I can…" he began.

"Cade, I doubt that will be necessary, although I appreciate you feeling that way."
Julie
shrugged.
"But the reason I'm here will take care of
Kellie
's future."

"Yeah…."
h
e barely uttered and left her.

Had she hurt his pride in suggesting she wouldn't need his money?
She wished she could tell him just how much she thought of him for offering though. How did you tell a father thank you for being so great?

She stared after him a long time, not liking what looking at him did to her.

Kellie
came out of the barn and saw her and turned up her nose as she walked toward her dad.

Julie
sighed heavily
;
would she ever forgive her?

***

After a few weeks, the routine around the ranch got easier and they switched chores regularly. No one complained.

Letty unloaded on
Julie
one night though and
Julie
couldn't contain her surprise.

"I'm seriously thinking of not going back to school," Letty admitted.
Julie
noted the jeans and t-shirt Letty wore, not as stylish as the Letty she expected, but more relaxed and in
-
her
-
own
-
element Letty.
Julie
realized suddenly that coming home had been good for Letty, maybe even herself.

"Really,
why?"
Julie
asked as she quit folding laundry and sat down to listen.

"I'll have ample money, and I gotta admit, I like being home for a change.
I never thought I'd say that."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."
Julie
nearly laughed.
"I've relaxed a lot since I've been here. I feel like I don't have to rush out to meet the day."

"
I guess all I really wanted was to get away and see some of the world. Now that I've been out there, I don't think I want to go back to the rat race
,
" Letty admitted.
Letty's make-up was impeccable, her hair down and flowing about her shoulder, she looked comfortable
, and beauti
ful
. Letty had always set the style for all the girls and this style said she was at home and loving it.

"But Letty, law is a career. Are you willing to forget it
so easily
?"
Julie
asked.

"I don't know.
Like you
,
I'm considering the rat race.
I guess I've got time to decide what I really want. At least now I have choices though and that's nice. I never realized once I left that I'd miss anything around here except you guys. But I'm enjoying all of this.
Since I've been home
,
I've never felt freer. And I hate to say this, but part of that is that
D
ad's not here to object to my behavior swings.
Like he used to do on a regular basis
,
" Letty admitted.
"I feel as though I'm settling in and I like it.
Kinda free to do what I want, I like that.
"

"I hadn't taken the time to think about it before you mentioned it, but I'm more relaxed coming home this time and with all the secrets out
.
I feel sort of renewed, as though I have a second chance
,
"
Julie
spoke
, her brows knitting together in a frown.

"In some ways I'm glad
D
ad isn't here.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I loved him as much as anyone, b
ut on the other hand,
there are no more wars. However,
I wish
D
ad were around so I could tell him
how happy I am being here for once
.
Does that make sense?
"

"Yeah, I find myself waiting to see if he'll come out of the barn or something. I catch myself staring, but he never shows up. There are so many things I wish I had talked to him about now
,
"
Julie
admitted.

"If he were alive he'd tell me to go back to school, but I've watched you and
Kellie
and having a family is
becoming more and more appealing
." Letty smiled at her.
"Even though I don't have a candidate in mind…"

"Well, it isn't always fun and games.
Kellie
still hasn't talked to me since I told her about her father. She practically ignores me."
Julie
sighed.
"And I'm not married so it's not a regular kind of family if you know what I mean."

"She'll come around…" Letty encouraged.
"Give her some time
,
honey." Letty grabbed her hand and held it.

"Will she? It's been weeks. We've never gone this long without forgiving each other. I'm worried. And
Cade
asked me what I was going to do when the time was up. I honestly didn't know what to tell him.
It's just too soon.
"

"He's not filing for custody
,
I hope." Letty got off the edge of the bed and looked at her.

Julie
laid the last of the laundry aside and shook her head
.
"No…not yet. But I feel as though it's coming. He's falling in love with being a father. I can see that.
He's going to want visitation rights and I can't blame him.
"

"And how do you feel about it?"

"Scared.
He
's
certainly off to a good start with her.
She loves him. If he asked for custody, he might get it.
He's already so proud of her. He beams when she's around.
"

Letty hugged her
.
"It's all going to work out,
Julie
. Give it time."