Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) (18 page)

"Don't defend her!"
Kellie
frowned.

"I have to
;
we were both part of that night
,
"
Cade
reflected.
"And I want you to know that despite everything, it was a beautiful night I'll never forget in all my life. And your mother wouldn't have had to go through it all alone, if I'd only known.
But it wasn't entirely a mistake. And you were born from the love we shared that night.
"

"Don't you hate her?"
Kellie
asked.

"No, I could never hate your mother,"
Cade
said quietly. "Just look at how well she's
taken care of you all this time, a
nd all alone doing it. That takes courage
Kellie
, whether you know it or not.
Someday
,
you'll be able to see all I
’
m telling you."

Kellie
looked at him
.
"Do…you think we look alike?
You and me?
"

Cade
smiled and pulled her over to a big mirror on the wall
.
"What do you think?"

"I think I look more like you than my mother
.
"
Kellie
sniffed.

"I took one look at you and knew you were part
Weston
." He chuckled.
"You don't even have the
McKay
eyes."

"Are you…sorry…about me
,
I mean?"

He shook his head
.
"No, I'm not a bit sorry. I'm proud."

"Can I stay in the bunkhouse with you?" she asked as she glanced about the place.

"No, you will stay at the big house, with your mother and aunts
,
"
Cade
insisted.

"B-but I want to be with you
,
"
s
he protested.

"We'll have plenty of time together, I'll see to that
.
"
Cade
smiled at her.

"You will?"
Kellie
smiled for the first time that evening.

"Of course I will
;
now, the first thing you need is
a hat. And I got one I think
will fit." Cade moved over to a western hat rack on the wall and looked at a few of the hats before pulling one from it and putting it on
Kellie
's head. "All cowgirls know you should wear a hat."

Kellie
smiled, and then she went into his arms and hugged him tight. "Can I call you dad?"

"I'd be offended if you didn't.
You hold your head high, and be proud.
"
Cade
smiled and hugged her back.
"The one thing I want you to remember is that you are my daughter, and I love you…very much."

"I've never had a daddy before
.
" Kellie smiled.

"You do now, and I hope I
’
m not a disappointment to you
.
"
Cade
watched her face light up.
"And oh yeah, if I make a few mistakes along the way,
can you manage to
just look over it."

Kellie
smiled and nodded, hugging him in the process.

Chapter
Ten

The just polished feel against
Julie
's fingertips had
Julie
looking about the ranch house with new eyes. She'd been raised here all her life, but the grandeur of the place still awed her a little. With nine bedrooms, seven bathrooms,
and
spacious living quarters,
Julie
never got used to the luxury of it.

Her bedroom had been all arranged for her and
Kellie
with matching twin beds and dual sinks in the bathroom
.
Julie
still couldn't take any of it for granted. Even the spacious balcony where it overlooked the vast countryside had
Julie
reeling. She'd never felt she deserved such luxury. She had wanted this moment to share with
Kellie
, but
Kellie
had left her as soon as they arrived. No doubt she was drilling Cade Weston with questions.
She wished she could ease-drop on their conversations, but that would only add to all her wrongs.

The pain of their conversation replayed in her head lending
Julie
almost incapable of actions.

She was quickly losing control of her pre-teen daughter.

They had been so close for so many years, and now to not have her at her side made
Julie
feel lost.

Julie
lay the last of their luggage on the bed and sighed aloud. Tears were close to falling as she went over her conversation with
Kellie
in her mind. Where had she gone wrong? She'd never seen
Kellie
act like that before, but then in the back of her mind, she had kept this from
Kellie
as long as she could.
It had to come out, and
Cade
deserved to know his daughter. She thought by telling
Kellie
herself,
Kellie
might understand easier.

That in itself was a mistake.
Kellie
didn't have the emotional equipment yet to begin to understand what had happened.

"
Whoa
…what's the long face for, troubles?" Letty stood in the doorway, staring at
Julie
.

Julie
looked up to see Letty, dressed in jeans and
a
red shirt
,
staring at her with empathy.

"Yes, but I guess I deserve it…"
Julie
cried, opening the cases and putting her things away
in the dresser drawers
.

"Want to talk about it?" Letty walked into the room and sat on the other bed.

"I had to tell
Kellie
about her father."
Julie
's voice almost failed her, the unshed tears shimmering in her eyes.

Letty's expression became serious
.
"Oh my…that had to be hard."

Julie
glanced at Letty, who was dressed casually and looked far more relaxed than she felt. "I wanted to tell her before Cade did."

"Cade?" Letty seemed shocked. "
Cade
is her father?
I'd have never guessed it.
"

Julie
stopped abruptly what she was doing and stared at Letty. She
had
forgotten that no one else knew it.

"Yeah…"

"Well, that will be news for everyone. I'll have to admit, we all wagered who it might be, but
Cade
wasn't even on the list." Letty watched her. "I thought you always had the hots for
Wade
?
In fact, I don't think anyone here ever imagined…
"

Julie
nodded
.
"It's complicated."

"Well, I want to hear every bit of it, myself
,
" Letty said
,
putting a pillow behind her and relaxing on the bed.
She curled her long beautiful body on the bed and stared at
Julie
with mixed emotions crossing her expressive eyes.

"Promise me you'll tell everyone else for me. I don't want to go through this a dozen times."
Julie
turned to her
with a
weak smile
.

"You got it." Letty nodded.
"And I don't blame you for that."

"You were right, I did think a little too much of
Wade
…"
Julie
began. "After all,
D
ad
sang
his praises for months after he hired him.
He was the big strong hero in my eyes. And I guess truth be known I let that hero worship stop on me too.
Wade
knew it and indulged me, but
believe
me, he didn't feel the same way.
He never took the advantages I offered.
I knew that too, but I was never one to give up that easily.
McKay
's just don't give up.
Not by a long shot.
I think at the time
Wade
was in love with himself.
Maybe he still is.
Anyway, I had made a fool of myself most of the summer that year, following him about like a
lovesick
puppy."

Letty nodded
.
"I remember.
But I didn't think it was that serious a case.
"

Julie
thought it odd that Letty had paid the least attention at the time, but she went on.

"I got the brilliant idea to have my way with
Wade
one day. I stopped off and asked
Brady
where
Wade
had gone.
Brady
being the blacksmith around here, he always knew where everyone was
and what they were doing
. He pointed me to the tack shed. So I went, intending to seduce
Wade
once and for all. Only problem was, I didn't check to see if I had the right twin.
I had the seduction on my mind so much, I never once stopped to make sure I had the right brother.
And by the time I realized it, it was far too late.
Cade
had me in a trance,
I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to, and I didn't want to.

"
But…later…
I was so ashamed, and lost, I didn't know what to do. Dad would have never understood it
, either
.
Ashamed of what I'd done, that's when I left the ranch
, and never came back
.
At the time, it didn't dawn on me that I could be pregnant. After all
,
it was the very first time I had done something like that.
I thought over time, if I never came back, no one would know the truth, not even Cade. But the truth has a way of catching up to you.
And
Cade
deserved to know.
"

Letty's mouth was hanging open
.
"You and Cade made love and you didn't have a clue it wasn't
Wade
?"

"
Well…not at first, no. By the time I realized, I didn't care. Cade was such a thoughtful and kind lover, I didn't want to stop.
Sounds pretty stupid
,
doesn't it? But I'd never made love before
,
Letty. I knew the kisses seemed different, but I lost myself in his love making.
Cade was much better at kissing than
Wade
.
I guess because there was some feeling there,
"
Julie
admitted.
"Cade was so gentle with me, so caring, so loving. I spent the night with him.
I couldn't have picked
a better first if I tried
.
"

"So you and
Wade
never even did it?" Letty gasped.

"That's right, never."

"Oh my God. And how did
W
ade
find out? Did you tell him?" Letty asked
,
concern growing in her voice.

"No, but I walked out of the shed that next day with hay all over me and a mess and he took one look and knew what had happened. I didn't have to say a thing, and since he never really loved me, he really didn't care.
He walked off as though it wasn't his business.
I finally realized it that morning. A little late.
I guess he figured he was finally shed of me."

"And
Cade
never knew about the pregnancy?"

"No…
and had I stayed away, he might never have known. But…
he took one look at
Kellie
and knew she was a
Weston
.
Unfortunately
,
she has his eyes.
But…he thought she was
Wade
's. When
Wade
told him we never did anything, he put it together and came storming at me. He planned to tell
Kellie
everything."