Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) (19 page)

"So you told her first?" Letty put the rest together.

"I wasn't sure how he would handle it and how she would react to him telling her. So I wanted to be the one to tell her.
I thought maybe I could make her see. But she's simply too young to grasp it all.
She didn't take it well. She hates me…"

"Oh honey, she's young, maybe too young to grasp it all, but she'll come around, she loves you."

"
Kellie
is very upset, a
nd mostly at me
,
"
Julie
cried this time
,
not holding back the tears.
"We've always been so close.
If I lose her Letty, I don't know what I'll do.
"

Letty stood up and grabbed her. "Oh my God,
Julie
…this is so sad. But you get hold of yourself
,
girl. We'll handle this together. This is much too much to shoulder alone. I'll help you with
Kellie
. It might take a while, but surely as time goes by she will begin to understand.
Especially when she sees that her aunts don't blame you.
"

"Well you don't, evidently."
Julie
tried to smile at her.
"I don't know about the other two."

"Of course I don't.
And the others will come around.
Wendy
is young too and little judgemental at times
but she's a
McKay
and we stick together, you know that
.
Sandy
, well, I think she can handle it.
"

"
The timing just wasn't right.
She's too young, I realized that when I saw the expression on her face.
Besides, now that I look back, even I don't understand it.
It's so complicated an
yway, how can a kid understand?
"

Letty pulled away to look into her face
.
"
Hey
,
wait a minute, was
Cade
in love with you?"

"I don't know…he never said, but he was gentle.
And he made the strangest remark
;
he said it was raining in his heart.
"

"Well
,
for heaven
’
s sake, you don't fall out of love with someone you really love. That means
Cade
still cares…."

"I don't know…maybe."

"And you?"

Julie
shrugged
.
"I'm not sure…but there is something there…."

"
And this guy you were engaged to, what happened to him?"

"That's over…"
Julie
said quietly, drying her eyes.
"I told him I was moving home for a while and that did it. It seems our jobs brought us together more than our feelings.
Letty
,
you don't know how stupid I feel.
Jim
didn't love me and I almost married him.
Cade
may love me, although he's never said so
outright
, and I practically ignored him.
"

Letty nodded
.
"
Boy, you've had your share of problems
lately
and all this evolved since
D
ad died
.
I feel for you
,
kiddo. I really do. But maybe it's best, you have enough to contend with right here and now.
Did yo
u love this character you worked with
?
"

"
Jim
?"
Julie
asked.

"Yeah…"

"No,
I guess not. I mean
,
it didn't hurt to break it off, and it should have. B
ut it took all this to make me see it
,
"
Julie
admitted.
"Oh Letty, I should never have run away. I know that now. But it's too late.
Knowing
D
ad, I knew he
’d
make Cade marry me, and I didn't want to start off life like that
,
"
Julie
cried again.
"I was a coward. I couldn't face anyone.
And when I found out I was pregnant
,
I was mortified. I felt I couldn't honestly go to Cade and tell him. It wasn't his fault.
He deserved better.
"

Letty held her for a long while,
and
then they sat on the edge of the bed, talking about it.
Julie
found it strange that Letty had been her closest
ally
. Growing up
,
Letty and she had always quarreled over boys, school, and everything else.
Now
,
th
e sister
Julie
most feared judg
ment from was loving her and standing beside her. She looked into Letty's face and smiled sadly. "Thanks for being here for me, Letty. It means so much.
I've been so blind about so many things. It's like waking from a dream and realizing you had it all wrong.
"

Letty smiled
.
"Hey, there isn't that much difference in our ages, we were bound to catch up to each other, sooner or later. Besides, I've had a few complications in my life too."

"Oh
,
Letty
.
"
Julie
grabbed her again and hugged her.
After a long hug,
J
ulie
smiled sadly into her face.
"And I want you to feel you can share them with me."

"We're
McKay
's and we'll weather it together."

"I have one question for you
.
" Letty eyed her.

"What?"

"Do you have any feelings for Cade?" Letty watched her.

Julie
paused to consider the question,
and
then slowly shrugged.
"I-I don't know…I'm not sure…"
Julie
replied.
"I admire him so much, for the way he wants to be a father now to
Kellie
, for the way he didn't place all the blame on me. There is something there, and I'm just beginning to see that.
O
nly problem is…it may be
too late.
"

***

"Hey you little whipper-snapper, where'd you get off to yesterday?"
Caleb
cornered
Kellie
in the stall as she was currying one of the horses.

Kellie
smelled the chewing tobacco on him, but wondered where it was
;
he wasn't smoking. She glanced at his old clothes and wondered if he didn't have better to wear. Still
,
the kindness in his face made her like the old man and even in her confusion over her parents she still felt some odd
camaraderie
with the old man.

"I had to talk to my dad
.
"
Kellie
shrugged her shoulders negligently.

"Your dad
?
I thought you did
n't know your dad?"
Caleb
's eye
brows rose as he approached her, and eyed her
carefully
.
He patted the horse's rump.

"I didn't until we moved here."

"How'd you find out?"

Kellie
eyed the old man curiously
.
"My mom told me."

"So…who is he?"
Caleb
asked
,
his exasperation showing in the raised brows, the narrowing of his eyes.

"Cade
Weston
. I'm Cade Weston's daughter
,
"
s
he announced proudly with a smile.

"You mean
Wade
, don't you?"
Caleb
frowned.

"Nope, I mean Cade Weston."
Kellie
smiled arrogantly.

Caleb
scratched his chin and seemed to absorb the information.
Something in his eyes seemed to change, but
Kellie
wasn't sure what caused it.

"So…what do you think of him?"
Caleb
asked curiously.

"I love him…he's so cool. And he wants me to call him dad, and he's going to teach me to ride…I'm so excited."
Kellie
laughed. But after
a
moment she seemed to sober
.
"But why would you think
Wade
Weston
was my father?"

Caleb
straightened himself and leaned against the stall gate. "Well…I heard rumors that your mom had been sweet on him. Naturally
,
I figured that was the case."

"Well
,
s
he isn't
,
"
Kellie
corrected.
"She did have a crush on him. But that was kid stuff."

"I see."
Caleb
quickly
curb
ed
his curiosity and turned to help currying the horse.

After a long silence
,
Caleb
put the curry brushes up and turned to her again
.
"I guess that makes you pretty happy now that you have a father and a mother."

"It would if they were together, but that'll never happen.
I've seen how he looks at her, but I don't think she has a clue.
"

"Oh
,
why not?"

"Mom wasn't in love with my father when….when I came along."

"And now?"

Kellie
frowne
d at the old man
.
"Well, why would that change
?
You don't suddenly fall in love with someone
,
do ya?
"

"Are you sure about that?"
Caleb
asked. "I mean
,
having a child together does kind of change things, don't you think?"

Kellie
was silent a long time then she looked at
Caleb
for a moment
.
"I don't think my mom loves anyone…."

"Well
,
that's not a very nice thing to say about your mom. Why…why would you think that?"

"She thought she loved
Wade
a long time ago, but she didn't. Then she thought she loved
Jim
, the man she worked with, but she didn't. She never came home to visit her own
daddy, so she must not have loved him either. And my dad…well, he loved her, but she didn't love him. I'm not even sure she loves me…now. But that doesn't matter either…
'
cause I have a dad
."

Caleb
frowned and took
Kellie
's shoulders between his hands
.
"Child, you must never talk like that.
Of course your mother loves you. She took care of you all this time, didn't she
?
All alone too. That takes courage to do something like that.
You'd know that if you were grown.
Especially when she could have had some help with you. You are a wonderful young lady and I'm proud to know you, but I don't want to hear you speak of your mother like that…it's…disrespectful."

Kellie
turned on the old man
.
"What do you care
? Y
ou aren't my grandfather."

And then she slowly walked
away
as her bottom lip pulled downward
.

Chapter
Eleven

Wendy
announced at breakfast that she had devised a plan of chores for everyone so that no one stepped on any toes.
Julie
faced this news with surprise, as she turned to Letty.

Letty's brows rose
.
"Quite the little organizer aren't you,
Wendy
?"
S
he didn't slur her words.