Raunchy (30 page)
If Ramsey wasn’t so fucking stingy, I wouldn’t have to resort to stealing his shit. Usually the best time to hit him up was after he’d had a long night of drinking. But lately he had been getting drunk outside of the house and when he came home, I’d be sleep. Between both of our alcoholic habits, it was tough keeping money around the house.
I walked into the twins’ bedroom and took the bill out of Jayden’s hands. I could smell the stench of their pissy mattresses because they never went to the bathroom at the right time and I got tired of cleaning behind them. If they wanted to live nasty then I decided to let them do that.
“How much you get?” I said opening the bill.
“He had two big two dollar bills.” He said referring to a twenty.
“Do you mean a Twenty Dollar Bill?” I asked.
“I guess.”
I shook my head and said, “Why the fuck you ain’t take all the money?”
“’Cause last time I took all the money, you got mad because you said if we took too much, he’d know some was missing.”
“Are you getting smart, bitch?” I asked.
“Naw, ma. He ain’t getting smart. He just remindin’ you of what you said.”
I smacked the hell out of Jayden and then walked up to Madjesty and stared him down. I was sick of his rebellion when I was disciplining Jayden. Whenever I disciplined Jayden, Madjesty had to get involved.
“You know, I’m sick of you talkin’ back to me.”
“I’m not trying to talk back to you, ma. But you asked my brother to do something, and he did it. So why you got to hit him?”
I was just about to gut punch him when Ramsey walked into the room.
“You asked him to do what?” Ramsey said drinking out of a bottle of vodka he hid from me. Bastard! Where the fuck did he get that from? And when did he start hiding liquor from me?
“Nothing, baby.” I said walking up to him. He put the bottle of liquor to my lips and poured it down my throat. “And why you hiding out on me? Where you get the bottle from?”
“You can’t know all my secrets.” He smirked.
“What you want for breakfast?” I asked tucking the money further into my pocket Jayden had just stolen. He liked to grope me a lot and I didn’t want him to find his own money.
“Whatever you making.” He said slapping me on my ass. “And hurry up. I’m hungry.”
When he was gone I walked up to Madjesty and said, “You betta be lucky he didn’t hear your ass. If you fuck this up for me, I’ma kill you. We live here rent-free and he pays for everything. The last thing I need is a loud mouth kid talkin’ back.” I continued. “I wished they never found your ass when they cut you out of my body.”
He stepped back a little and then looked up at me. I wasn’t sure, but something told me before it was all said and done, he would try to kill me.
“Ma, I’m not gonna be the one who fucks it up for you here. If anything, you are.”
That was it! I had enough of him! Looking around the room, I saw an iron on the dresser. I grabbed it, plugged it up and Jayden started crying.
“Go close the door, Jayden.”
“No, mama!”
“Close that fuckin’ door!”
When he did I directed my attention back to Madjesty as I waited for the iron to heat up. Jayden’s whimpers were getting louder.
“Shut the fuck up before I put it on his face instead of his thigh.” When it was hot I knocked Madjesty to the floor and took the edge of the iron and placed it on his inner thigh. He normally screamed and tried to run but this time he didn’t. Instead of screaming, a tear fell down his face as I pressed it harder against his leg. He wiped the tear away and smiled.
“You can’t hurt me no more!” He said. Then he lifted the pants on his other leg and showed me burns I didn’t place on his body. That meant he’d been burning himself.
I backed away from him and stared in amazement. If I couldn’t keep him in fear, how could I control him? And then it dawned on me. I couldn’t hurt him but I
could
hurt Jayden.
“Maybe it’ll hurt more if I burn your brother instead.”
The smile was wiped off his face and he said, “No! Don’t…Don’t do it. I’ll do whatever you ask me to.”
“Good. Then start by listening to me. I’m sick of your back talk, and I’m not gonna take too much more of it either. Do I make myself clear, Madjesty?”
“Yes.”
I was losing control of Madjesty, and I knew it was just a matter of time, before shit hit the fan.
Cuter than You
Harmony
Ramsey was always up under my ass. I couldn’t go too many places without him. If I went to the store he took me. When I came home and cooked dinner he helped me. I couldn’t get a break. But over the past month or so, things had changed. We weren’t even fucking no more and I had to find a better alternative to fit my needs. That’s where his son Dooway came in.
Dooway was two years older than me and a great fuck. The only thing about him was his temper. Unlike his father, he flew off the handle most of the time and it reminded me of Kali. When he got like that I left him alone. Dooway sold dope and had moved out of the house recently to stay in an apartment with his girlfriend in Houston Texas. So we couldn’t see each other like we use to. I couldn’t count the nights we’d sneak off in the basement, when everyone was asleep to get our nightly fuck on. After missing that good dick, he finally called and told me he wanted to see me tonight and that he had something to tell me. I wondered what it could be.
I walked into the bedroom to see Ramsey getting dressed. He pulled out his good cologne, his socks without the holes in them, new jeans and a new shirt. I was so excited about him leaving without me, so that I could fuck Dooway, that I didn’t bother thinking about where he might be going. And at the moment he didn’t bother telling me either.
“Where the boys?” He asked me.
“Over Renee’s house. I think they might be spending a night.” I said brushing his hair and dusting invisible dust particles off his shoulders. I stood behind him and looked at him through the mirror.
“You got me confused, Harmony. I mean do you like Renee or not?”
“Not. But she serves her purpose as far as the boys are concerned.”
“I don’t know why you even bother. Especially after the rumors that the boys are nasty started.”
“It don’t mean that it’s her.”
“Do you really feel that way, or is it just that you just don’t care?”
“So what, you saying I don’t care about my kids?”
“I’m not saying that, Harmony. I’m just saying you could be a little better mother if you tried.”
“So wait, you turning all this on me?”
“I’m not turning anything on you. But what I am saying is that you could do a little better job as far as they’re concerned. They be over there more than they be at home. You sure that’s good?”
“Ramsey, you drink just like me all day every day. So please don’t talk about parenting.”
“You’re right…And at the end of the day they aren’t my kids are they?”
Silence.
“I’m not gonna let you bother me none.” I smiled. He turned around and put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him.
“You know I love you right?”
“I know.” I smiled.
“How come you never tell me you love me back?”
“Because it’s better to show a person love than it is to tell them.” Truth was, I didn’t know what it was to feel
real
love. I was damaged. But again, I can say the closest thing I felt to love was when I was with Monkey. “Where you going?”
“Out with a few of my dudes. We getting some drinks. You wanna go?”
“Naw. I’m good.”
“Okay. Well let me get out of here,” he said grabbing his wallet. “I’ll call you before I come home, to see if you need anything.” He paused and said, “Hey, did you see an extra twenty dollar bill around here somewhere?”
“Naw.”
“Okay. Well I’ll call you later.”
When he left I called Dooway again trying to figure out where he was. It didn’t matter if he came when his father was there or not because after all, he was still his son. But when I called Dooway and he didn’t answer the phone, I figured he was on his way.
Waiting impatiently, I went to the liquor cabinet and downed a whole lot of vodka. The warm feeling going down my throat felt good and relaxed me instantly. I was about to swallow some more when someone banged at the front door.
I quickly opened the door to see Renee, but my kids were not with her. Renee was short and brown skin with medium size breasts and a tiny waist. She wore a low haircut like a boy and had a cute face. Her boyfriend sold dope and he kept her fly and she loved showing me her new purses. Little did she know but I gave up chasing labels and stuck to chasing the bottle. It worked better for me.
“What is wrong with you banging on my door like that? Are the boys ok?” I asked looking behind her.
She bombarded her way inside and sat on the sofa. A sly look covered her face.
“I know.” She said evenly. “I know everything.”
I closed the door and sat on the chair across from her. “You know what?”
“You know what I’m talking about, Harmony. And the question is, what are you going to give me, to keep your secret? And I don’t want to hear that broke shit either because history shows that when a nigga is caught in a bind, he always rises to the occasion.”
When I thought about it long and hard, I knew what she was talking about but I wondered how she knew. My boys didn’t even know so how did she?
“What are you talking about, Renee? You smoking or something? ‘Cause you coming over here acting real crazy.”
“Do you really want to play this game, Harmony? Or do you want to tell me what you are going to give me to keep quiet? And please don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about because I know you do. Unless you’re hiding more secrets than a little bit.”
Silence.
“My kids couldn’t tell you? Because they don’t even know.”
“They didn’t tell me anything. Now I’m done answering your questions. What do you want to do? Pay me to be quiet? Or do you want me to tell Ramsey and everybody else who will listen?”
Silence.
“How much do you want?”
“Two thousand should be enough.”
“TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS?!” I yelled. “I don’t have that kind of money. If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“I know how you can get it.” She smirked. “But you gotta be up to trying a little something different though.”
“How?”
“Get Ramsey to put you on his life insurance policy.”
“And then?”
“And then you kill him.”
“What?” I said, not thinking I heard her correctly.
“Look, it’s not even that hard.” She said standing up. “I’ve done it before. All you have to do is convince him to put you on his life insurance policy, and when he does, you wait a few months before you kill him.”
“You done this before?”
“Sure have, and if you tell somebody I’ll deny that shit. Anyway, you don’t know who I’m talking about.” She paused. “Just know that killing somebody is easier than people think. If I realized it earlier, I would’ve done it more times than not.”
“You a crazy bitch.”
“Yeah…But I’m a rich bitch, too. Look how you live, Harmony. You gotta a slashed up face because you can’t even afford a good plastic surgeon…Your kids smell like piss and you hiding a big secret. You tell me. Who’s life is better?”
I guess I know who started the pissy rumor now.
“Even if I was thinking about doing something like that, the murder that is…How would I go about killing him? Unlike you I ain’t never done no shit like that before.”
“There’s plenty of ways to make a murder look like an accident.” She paused. “You cook his meals?”
“Yeah.”
“Well does he have any desserts he like? Anything real sweet?”
“Yeah. Jell-O. Sweet Potato Pie…Shit like that.”
She smiled and said, “What you do is go to the auto body store, buy some antifreeze and mix it in his deserts. Antifreeze is sweet and he won’t taste it in his food.” She continued. “Give it to him a little bit over a time and before you know it, he will get sick and die.”
I couldn’t believe what she was saying but what I couldn’t believe even more was that I was considering murder. I walked over to the cabinet, grabbed some vodka and thought about what she was saying again. She had just given me an idea I never thought of, although I doubted she would benefit off my consideration. After all, I knew she would blackmail me forever if I went along with her plan, and Ramsey showed up missing. Naw, me and the kids had to move away from this bitch all together.
After she left, Dooway came over a hour later. He looked so sexy that I kissed him the moment he came in. I needed to cum after learning that Renee knew my secret because it was the only thing that made me feel better when I was upset. She really knew…A secret I had kept to myself for nine years.