Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend (15 page)

Reason
20
:
If eyes can be hot, yours are smokin’

Mom
and Dad are gone. Whole week
to myself
,
and I have nothin’ planned till Saturday. I’m a Class A loser.

And speakin’ of Saturday, I’m gettin’ Hayles’ list ready. I’m goin’ to memorize it too because I’m not makin’ more than one copy. My hand still hurts like hell
,
and I’m not going to type it ‘cause, well, girls probably don’t want that. They like the handwritten junk.

The list is easier now. After seein’ her on Monday and the way she was just so, I dunno, strong but still needed me, everythin’ is coming out so much better. She won’t care if I sound stupid or whatever. She’ll get it.

There’s a knock at my front door. I groan as I tuck away the list in my back pocket and trudge upstairs to answer it. Probably some salesman or somethin’. And if it’s Gabe, I’ll just slam the door in his face.

Whoever it is, they knock again.

“Okay, okay, I’m comin’!”

I swing the door open, the sound of pounding rain reachin’ my ears. Quynn stands under her bright pink umbrella with a huge smile on her face and says, “Hey, Bro! What you up to?”

It takes me a second to wipe the shock from my face. Quynn knows Mom is out of town. She also told me at scho
ol that her Spring Break
was stock full.

I’m not a fan of the ‘pop in’ either, but I wave her through the door anyway. “Uh, not much. Just hangin’ out.”

She shakes off her um
brella and sticks it in the entry
way before closin’ the door shut behind her.
I know she’s comfortable here—
I get it, but I’m not too happy when she plants her butt on the couch without really askin’ if she can stay. For some stupid reason, I make sure the list is secure in my pocket before sittin’ next to her.

“Thought you said you were pretty busy this week.”

She shrugs. “I am. But it’s rainy and I thought since we didn’t get to talk last Friday…” Her voice drifts off as she studies my face. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. Did I totally interrupt you doing something?”

She goes to stand, but I put a hand on her arm stoppin’ her. Not sure why, though. I don’t want her to stay, but I don’t want her to leave either.

Man
, I thought I had this figured out.

“No, you didn’t. Just surprised me.” I attempt a smile. “So, how’s your Spring Break?”

Lame. I suck at chit-chat.

“Pretty good so far.” She tucks her feet under her butt and slides closer to me. I try to move away without bein’ so obvious about it. “Parties the past couple nights. I was hoping to see you there, but someone thinks he’s too good for that stuff.” She shoves my leg and laughs.

I chuckle with her. Can’t help it. “Nah, just not the party type. You know that.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, I
know
. One of these days I’ll get you to come with me.” Her face goes bright red. “I mean go with me, not come…” She slaps her forehead while I laugh my
face
off. “Please change the subject before I die.”

“Okay, when Mom and Dad gave me their itinerary for the weekend, they included every time they’d be… ‘sleeping’.”

Quynn perks up, face still red, but she’s laughing. “Ew!”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

“At least you know when not to call them.”

We bust up
,
and I hop off the couch. “You want somethin’ to drink?” It’s like it was before, funnily enough. Better actually because I’m not nervous around her. I see her, talk with her, but I’m not
wanting
her. It’s kind of a relief.

“Sure, thanks.” She grabs a blanket off the back of the couch and wraps it around her shoulders. It’s the same blanket Hayley used when we played twenty questions, and just when I think I’ve got a grip on the situation, my heart does a funky knot thing. Not sure if Hayles would like me hangin’ with Quynn alone. Pretty sure that’s a big no-no in convincing her she’s the one I want.

And I’m not stupid. I know Quynn is flirtin’ with me.

This is screwed up. I’m not like Gabe. I’m not like bio-dad.

But I’m not rude either, and I don’t want to just kick her out.

All of this is goin’ through my brain as I make like a robot and get us some Cherry Pepsi from the fridge.

“So, uh…” I stutter as I sit back down, in the recliner this time, “what do you got goin’ on the rest of the day?”

Please say she has plans.

“Nothing! Totally wide open. Why? You want to do something?”

Ah hell.

“N-not sure if I can.”
Complete lie, Brody. Just tell her the truth. You’re seein’ someone else.
“It’s Friday night.”

Again, that’s my copout because
I have no plans
with Tanner at all. I’m such a wuss
.

“Another game night.” She sighs. “You should really go with me to Jamie’s party tonight. I wasn’t planning on going, but if you’re there…”

Her eyes do that puppy dog thing. It sucks. Hayley does that t
oo, but she doesn’t ever mean to
. Her eyes are just naturally big and round, suck-you-in green and innocent. They’re hot eyes, if eyes can be hot. Maybe it’s ‘cause she smiles with them.

I shake my head and focus on Quynn, who is now chewin’ on her bottom lip.

Hayles never bites her lip. Only that once
,
and it was weird.

“I don’t—”

“I’m not letting you say no.” She points a finger at me. “You skip out on all the fun stuff. You’re going and that’s that.”

She stands up, crossing her arms, gi
ving me the ‘I’m teasin’ but I’
m serious about it too’ look. She tosses her blonde hair over her shoulder and leans down, holding the arms of the recliner.

“Please, Brody?”

Girls suck. I
don’t like her like I used to—
I
know that for sure—
but how
do they have such power over guys? One word. That cursed word.
Please.
Ugh.

“I’m bringin’ Tanner.”

She smiles and claps her hands together. “Point, Quynn.”

I chuckle, but it’s forced. Then she babbles on about parties or some other
stuff
. I’m not payin’ attention. All that’s goin’ through my stupid head is what Hayley will think if she finds out.

Oh! Maybe she’ll come with me. I could text her right now!

No, wait. She said she had somethin’ goin’ on tonight, which is why we’re goin’ out tomorrow.

Damn
it.

But I will call Tanner. This will not be a date. ‘Cause I’m over Quynn. I’ve got Hayles. Or at least, I want to have Hayles.

Then why can’t I just spit out the words? Why can’t I tell anyone? Not Mom or Dad, not Quynn. Not even Tanner knows. Only person who does is my douche of a brother
,
and that’s ‘cau
se he saw me with her. What’
s wrong with me?

“Okay, I’ll see you later then!”

I must be on autopilot, ‘cause I’ve walked her to the door and helped her with her jacket without even realizin’ it.

“Uh, yeah, okay.”

She
skips off the porch to her car, then waves at me
as she drives off.

Yup, I’m a
wuss
.

Reason 21
:
You can put boob ma
rks in all my shirts and I wo
n’t care

What do you wear to a party you don’t want to go to? Nothin’? Yeah, showin’ up buck ass naked will be a sure sign of, ‘I’m not into you. Sorry if I led you on.’ This
stuff
is messed up, I’m tellin’ ya.

I called Tanner, b
ut he
didn’t pick up. Sent him a text instead
,
which I’m sure shocked the crap out of him. Probably made him wonder if it was really me.

Then, just for the
fun
of it, I invited Hayles too. I know the answer will be no, but I’m kind of hopin’ her plans got changed or somethin’. She hasn’t said a word since I dropped her off—late—on Monday. No text, no calls… I may as well have had fifty conversations by myself.

I’m hopin’ we’re at least still on for tomorrow. It’ll be no tattoo parlor, but I’ve got my list ready for her.

I run my hand over my wrist before grabbin’ my wristband to cover up the tatt. I’m finally able to wear it again without it itchin’. Then I put on the first shirt and jeans that don’t smell like
butt
and get out of my room. I’ve cleaned it—Mom will be proud—but I’m still in the midst of laundry. There were a lot of clothes under the bed. Among other things.

Grabbin’ the keys, I do a mental checklist of everythin’ in the house. Back door, locked. Windows closed. Hall light on. No text from Hayles or Tanner. And fly… whoops, better zip that up.

All right, I’m done stallin’. Better get this over with.

It’s still raining. Pouring buckets as Dad would say. Nothin’ like living in the central point of God’s showerhead.

And because I’m majorly pathetic, I take the long route to Jamie’s house. I have to drive by Hayley’s just to see if she’s really not some sexually frustrated fantasy I’ve concocted over the past few weeks.

Nope, her house is still there. Lights out except for the porch light. Guess Hayles did have somethin’ goin’ on tonight. Not that she’d lie about it, but I know she hides things from me.

I’m about to turn off the road when something in her driveway catches my eye. A shadowy figure crouched on the ground, sha
kin’ and tryin’ to keep dry under
the very little covering the garage has.

Holy shit.

I
slam on the brakes and back up. Then I park
the big truck against the curb. I’m texting and sprinting at the same time, tellin’ Quynn I won’t be there, then jammin’ my phone in my pocket before lifting a soaking wet chin up so her eyes meet mine.

“Hayles, what the h—?”

“B-Brody? What are y-you doing h-here?”

“Are you locked out?”

She nods, teeth chatter
ing as her whole body goes into tremors
.

“Why didn’t you call someone?”

She tucks her hand in her pocket, pullin’ out her phone. “W-waterlogged.”

Crap
, is this what happened before?

“When will your mom be home?”

She shrugs… I think. She’s shivering too much for me to tell. I grab her and pull her to her feet.

“Come on. I’m takin’ you to my house.”

She doesn’t argue, but she doesn’t let me
hold on to her either. She curls
into herself and I can’t be sure, because of the rain, but I think she’s cryin’.

The heater’s up all the way as I go back to my house, tryin’ not to hydroplane. When we get there, she still won’t let me touch her. Just walks alongside me and stands in my doorway while I run to get her a towel.

“You know what?” I say after tryin’ to dry her off
,
and it not working at all. “Just go take a warm shower.”

Her eyes flick up to meet mine. Those sexy eyes I’ve been thinkin’ about. “Y-your p-parents w-won’t m-mind?”

Wish she’d let me rub her arms. She’s freezin’. “They’re not here. Please, go warm up.”

“I-I don’t h-have any e-extra clothes.”

“You can borrow some of mine
,
and I’ll stick yours in the dryer.”

She
roll
s
her eyes and
attempts a
smile. “I-I won’t f-fit in y-your clothes.”

“Knock it off.”
I go for her hand, but she pulls
it out of my way. “Go take a shower, all right? I’ll give you a sweater and some pants and I guarantee they’ll be fine.”

She shakes her head, but goes upstairs to the bathroom while I run and grab the cleanest stuff I can find.

“Here,” I say as I open the door a crack to hand her my clothes. When I f
eel the weight off my arm I pull
it back out and leave her to it. I hear a small ‘thanks’ before I get back downstairs.

This is the part where I speed clean. After getting into some dry clothes of my
own of course. Livin’ by myself
for the past few days made the whole house try to do an ass room impression. I get the couch cleared off and the kitchen sink emptied, then hurry to my room to do a double chec
k. And spray cologne all over
it. Again, not like I’m expectin’ her to be in here, but what if she needs to stay the night? She can take my bed
,
and I’ll sleep in Mom and Dad’s. Or take the couch. No biggie.

I hear the water shut off just as I clear out the dryer so it’s open for her clothes. She’s goin’ to be wearin’ my underwear, my sweater, no bra. Whoa, things are shiftin’ around and I haven’t even seen her yet.

And
damn
it, I can’t be some horny jackhole right now. There’s somethin’ really screwed up goin’ on in her life
,
and she’s going to tell me about it. Even if I have to force her into twenty questions.

“Hey.”

She’s got an arm wrapped aroun
d her chest and the other holdin’ out
her soggy clothes. The hoodie isn’t tight, not baggy, but not tight, and the pants fit. I give her an ‘I told you so’ look before grabbin’ her stuff and throwin’ it in the dryer. The bra misses, hittin’ the floor
,
and I quickly pick it up by two fingers and chuck it in, slamming the door behind it. She’s laughin’ at me as I start the dryer.

“It’s just a bra.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I motion her to the couch. “You want somethin’ to drink?” Dude this sounds familiar. Was doin’ this with another girl not five hours ago. But it’s different now.

“Something warm, please.”

“‘Course.”

Only thing I got is apple c
ider. I call from the kitchen to make sure she’s okay with that. She is, so I make two mugs and try to sit as close as she’ll allow me to.

“Ooh, yummy. Thank you.” She’s smilin’ her Hayles smile and tuggin’ at the hoodie.

“Is it itchy or somethin’?” I point to her stomach where she’s pullin’ the sweater away from her body.

“No, I just don’t want to put boob marks in it.” She laughs. “But I think it’s impossible. It’ll be a little stretched out in the chest region for you.”

“You can keep it if you want,” I say before taking a gulp of the boiling cider. My eyes water and I shut them as I try to push back the burn in my throat. She starts laughin’.

“You know, you can sip that and I won’t think you’ll be any less of a man.”

I push her leg and set the mug down. “Are you warm enough?”

She nods, blowing across her drink before taking a sip.

“All right, then, now is when you tell me what you were doin’ out in the rain like that.”

It’s amazin’ how just in the few weeks I’ve known her—really known her—I can tell when she’s about to shrug off a question like it’s no big deal. Her eyes go to the most borin’ thing in the room
,
and the corner of her lip tugs upward with her shoulder. She opens her mouth, to tell me the big lie she’s got ready for me, and I cut her off.

“Hayles. I mean it.” I take the cup out of her hands and put it on the coffee table next to mine. Sliding my fingers on her knee, I make sure she’s lookin’ at me before I say anythin’ else. Takes a minute, but she finally locks gazes. “Don’t hide this from me anymore. Somethin’s wrong, and I can’t stand to see you like this.”

“Like what?” she whispers.

I press the crinkle between her eyebrows and smooth it out. “Scared.”

A flicker of a smile crosses her face
,
and she holds my hand to her cheek. I know it’s not the right time, but I’m leanin’ toward her anyway. Ready to press my lips to hers. To take away all the pain I know she’s feelin’ b
ut not tellin’ me about
. She’s so beautiful. Even scared and sad like this.

I get close enough to taste her breath, then she drops my hand and turns, giving me her cheek.

I don’t mean to growl, but I do.

She looks back at me, catching my face between her hands. “I’m sorry.” She’s no
t lyin’. “I want you to kiss me,
I do.”

“But…?”

Another flicker of a smile. “It’s my first time kissing someone. I want it to… I want to make sure it really means something.”

Ouch.

“It won’t mean somethin’ with me?”

She drops her hands. “You mean more to me than you should. But, I
still
think you’re hung on Quynn. I don’t want to let you in only to have you run off with her.”

My mouth hangs open. I’m pretty sure I look like a fool. Is this really what she thinks? I’ll pull a Gabe?

I’m. Not. Like. That.

“You think
I could do that to you?”
Damn
it, n
ow I’m pissed. Not the time for it since there’s somethin’ a lot worse buggin’ her. Still, it sucks she thinks that about me.

“Not on purpose.”

I sit back as far as I can on the other end of the couch, shakin’ my head at my feet. “I don’t understand, Hayles. I need you to tell me what’s goin’ on. Why you’d think I’d do that to you. Why you won’t let
any
one in. Why you called me to pick you up on Monday. Why you were sittin’ in the rain. Why you don’t want me to meet your mom.” I bury my face in my hands. “I want to help, be there for you, but I can’t if I don’t know anythin’. I can’t if you don’t
let
me.”

Yeah
, I said that all out loud. Well, muffled into my fingers. I won’t look at her, too afraid she’s pissed and she’ll just walk away, leavin’ me with the list in my pocket.

I hear a deep breath from the other end of the couch. Still won’t look at her, and I can’t tell if she’s frustrated, hurt, or what
,
just off that sigh.

“She doesn’t want me to meet him.”

My eyebrows pinch together
,
and I glance at her through my hands. She’s pickin’ at a loose thread on the pocket of the hoodie. “What?”

“That’s why I was sitting outside. My mom doesn’t want me to meet Daniel until I’m… thinner.”

I gulp, sitting up straight. “Who’s Daniel?”

“Mom’s boyfriend.”

That small part of me that was worried about whoever this Daniel was whoops for joy in my stomach.

“So you were sittin’ in the rain because…?”

She throws her head against the cushion of the couch and talks to the ceiling. “She told me she was going to go over some menus and stuff with me tonight. She’s making me see a health specialist. But Daniel pulled up and surprised her with a date. She shoved me outside
,
and I guess she forgot to leave the door unlocked when she left.”

She sighs, tilting her head forward. Tears are forming at the outer corners of her eyes. “I didn’t tell
you because it’s embarrassing. It j
ust confirms what I’ve been trying to ignore.”

“Which is what?”

“That I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m too… big to have someone like me the way you say you do.”

The tears finally spill over
,
and she quickly swipes them away. I scoot closer to her again, takin’ it all in. All the pieces comin’ together about why she looks at herself the way she does. I had no idea it was so bad. ‘Cause she never told me.

“On Monday, I had my first appointment with the health specialist. She told my mom I needed more exercise, you know, the same old crap they all say. Well, my mom thought it would be good for me to walk home. So she took me to where you pi
cked me up, and left me there.
Said if I didn’t get home within an hour, I wouldn’t get dinner.” She chuckles, but it sounds off. “It’s like I’m five.”

I shake my head. “That’s messed up.” I know I should say somethin’ better than that, but she laughs and swipes another tear from her face.

“So, I called you because, well, you saw that place! It was freaking scary! And who cares if I got dinner that night? It was probably a glass of water and a broccoli floret.”