Red Dirt Heart 3 (10 page)

“She needs to be hospitalised. Today.” The doctor looked at George and put his hand on his shoulder. “Joseph, I need you to understand something.”

George looked up at him, all lost and hopeless.

“This isn’t a death sentence, not by a long shot,” he said firmly. “But you need to get up. Your wife is going to need you, so no wallowing, you hear?

George nodded weakly.

“You need to go pack some of her clothes and get your wife to the hospital. Come on, get up,” he said, all no-nonsense.

But George did exactly as he was told, and no sooner had he walked out than Doctor Hammond turned to me and smiled. “Sometimes I need to be a drill sergeant more than a doctor. Young Joseph just needed a little kick-start to get going.”

I swallowed hard. “Doc, will Ma be okay? I mean, is that… what you said she had… type of cancer.” I couldn’t even remember what he’d called it.

“Endometrial,” he said again. “Or uterine cancer.”

“Is it bad?” I ran my hand through my hair. “I mean, no cancer is good, I get that. But what does that mean… for her?” God, I couldn’t even think straight. “Prognosis. What’s the prognosis?”

He pressed his lips in a thin line and sighed. “Like I said, I need to run more tests. But out of all the cancers that affect women, this isn’t a bad one to have. It’s not good, by any means, but survival rates are high.”

Fuck.
Fuck
. Survival rates?

I never mentioned the chances of fucking dying.

“It was just a flu,” I told him. “She told us it was just a bug and that winters got colder as you got older. She told me to shut up when I asked her,” I said. Travis was beside me then, his hand on my lower back. I looked at him. “I asked all the time if she was feeling okay, and she’d rip my head off and tell me to mind my own business.”

“I know you did,” he whispered and kissed the side of my head. “I know.”

Doctor Hammond looked at us both, unable to hide his surprise in seeing Travis console me like that. I’d had him run tests for STDs, and I guess he just figured out why. “It’s not your fault, Charlie. I’d say she’s been ill for some weeks,” the doc went on to say. “And she knew something wasn’t right, she just didn’t want anyone to worry.”

I shook my head. “She’s so busy worryin’ about everyone else.”

“Well, the thing is, we need to stay positive in our thinking,” the old man said. “We have a pretty good idea of what we’re dealing with, and then we can deal with treatments and getting better. But first things first, we need to get her in to town.”

“Can you take them?” I asked. “Are you heading straight back to the Alice now?”

“Well,” he said, blinking. “I am, yes.”

“Your four-wheel drive will be more comfortable for Ma than our old ute,” I said. “If that’s okay. Then Trav and I will follow as soon as we can.”

The doc smiled. “I guess I best take them, then. Let me make some phone calls.”

I offered him the use of our phone, but he pulled out his mobile and hit a number in his contacts. In a very quick, all-business kinda call, he’d told whoever it was at Alice Springs Hospital that he was on his way with an emergency patient, expected arrival time in three hours, and would require x-rays, MRI and pathology for a range of names I didn’t understand.

And while he was talking, all I could think of was cancer.

My Ma had cancer.

“Jesus,” I whispered, making myself take a deep breath.

Trav pulled me against him, kind of side-on and quick, but for just one second, just one perfect it-will-be-okay second, he centred me.

George appeared at the door with his arm around Ma. She looked tired still, and embarrassed. I walked over and took the overnight bag from George. “Doctor Hammond can take you guys in now,” I told them. “Trav and I will get things organised here and follow.”

“You don’t need to be fussin’ over me,” Ma said, trying to smile.

“I’ll fuss all I damn want,” I told her, taking her arm. “Come on, we’ll get you in the car.”

“I can walk myself,” she snapped.

“You could,” I said, helping her walking out the front door. “But we’re helpin’ ya so you’ll just have to deal with it.”

“I’m not so sick that I can’t give you a clip behind the ears, Charlie,” she said, as we helped her gingerly down the veranda steps.

“You’d have to catch me first.”

She snorted quietly. “Yeah, you’d always come home when you were hungry. And you, Charlie, were always hungry.”

I opened the back seat of the doctor’s Land Cruiser, and George helped her climb up. He ducked back inside to grab something else, and I looked up at Ma. “We’ll be right behind you.”

She held out her hand, which I quickly took. All joking was gone from her now. She looked worried, but most of all, she looked scared. “Thank you, Charlie.”

George came back with another bag and a pillow, and got in to the back seat of the Cruiser beside his wife. Doctor Hammond gave me a nod and started the engine. I looked up at Ma and said, “See you soon,” before closing the door.

And I stood there and watched the Cruiser drive away. We all stood there. All of us: Billy, Trudy, Bacon, Ernie and Nara. Travis stood by the front door. No one said anything, just watched Ma and George leave in a cloud of dust. I had to say something. They hadn’t heard what the doc has said, so maybe their shock was in the not-knowin’. I had to be the one who told them.

I cleared my throat, and they all watched me and waited.

“The doc seems to think Ma has cancer,” I told them. Their faces dropped, and Trudy put her hand to her mouth. “Uterine cancer, he called it. Said her chances were good, but he needs to run more tests and work out what needs doing.”

No one said anything. Not a word.

“Travis and I are going in to the hospital now,” I added. “We’ll probably just be a day or two. Until they get her settled in and we know more of what we’re dealing with.”

This time I got nods.

“Billy, you’re in charge while we’re away. Just do what you can to make the roof waterproof. I’d prefer it if none of ya fell off trying to lay iron while I’m not here.” The truth was, I didn’t care about the roof. I didn’t really even care about the house right now. But I certainly couldn’t deal with any of them getting hurt. “I’ll let Greg know you guys are here by yourself, so if you need him for anything, just call him. He can be here quicker than me.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Billy said.

“We’re expectin’ the first calving any day,” I told them. “Please do the rounds, check on the mothers a couple of times a day.” I looked at each of them and shook my head. “Dunno why I’m tellin’ you guys this. You all know what to do. I trust your judgement, but call me if you’re not sure.”

I looked to the youngest of the lot. “Nara, you just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t take crap from anyone, okay?” The girl nodded, but she looked worried, scared even.

Lookin’ at each of them, I realised they all did. “Ma will be fine. The doc said it was the best kind of cancer to get, if there is such a thing, and that now we know what’s wrong, we can fix it.” I went to walk up the veranda steps and stopped. “I’ll call tonight and let you know what I know.”

I walked inside then with Travis right behind me. I pulled out the big duffel bag and threw some clothes in it. It didn’t matter who they belonged to, since we seemed to share our wardrobe. The bathroom was next. I collected razors, toothbrushes, deodorant and shoved ’em all in the bag and threw it by the door. Then I went into my office, typed out a quick email to Greg explaining my station hands were on their own and to keep his ear to the ground for me. I told him I’d call him to explain when I could and signed off. I shoved my laptop in its carry case, and when I looked up, Travis was in the door.

He was just kinda standin’ there, lookin’ all sorts of lost. “Trav? You okay?”

He nodded quickly, then slowly, and then he shook his head. “Are you?”

I rounded the desk quickly and threw my arms around him. I didn’t stop to think how he might be affected by all this. “God, I’m sorry,” I said, pulling back. “Are you okay? Trav, say something.”

He nodded with his eyebrows all furrowed. “Just a bit shocked, I think, I dunno. I’m fine, really. I am.” He swallowed hard. “We need to go.”

“We do,” I agreed. I walked back to my desk, grabbed my laptop bag and handed it to him to carry. “We’ve got three hours to talk in the car.”

He smiled, kinda sadly. “You’re taking this whole talking about everything to a whole new level, huh?”

I pecked his lips with mine. “Someone once told me I had to, or he’d leave me. So yeah, take it to a whole new level I did.”

I waited for him to smile then I turned around and, stepping into the hall, tripped over a fucking wombat.

“Ugh, you,” I said, picking Nugget up. “What am I gonna do with you?” I sighed, which was more like a groan. I knew what I had to do, so I stomped back into our room and found an old camping knapsack in the top of the wardrobe.

With Nugget under my arm, I held the bag open and huffed and grumbled as I shoved his beanie pouch and the old half-a-blanket we wrap him in into the bag. I considered kicking the used-to-be-mine, now his-rumble-teddy-bear across the lounge room, but instead picked it up and stuffed it into the bag as well.

I shook my head and cussed at him as I shoved his bottles into the bag and I even threw in an apple or two.

Trav eyed me cautiously from the kitchen door. “Charlie, what are you doing?”

“Packing his stuff.” Which was stupid, because the bloody wombat didn’t have
stuff
.

“You can’t give him away,” Travis whispered. “You just said this morning you didn’t think you ever could…”

“Give him away?” I asked. I shook my head. “No, he’s coming with us.”

“Charlie…”

“I can’t expect anyone else to look after him,” I explained. “Nara has enough to do without worryin’ about night feeds and all that. Not to mention the fact that he’s decided to not let anyone but me feed him.”

Travis sighed, long and loud, but he rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure the motel we stay at won’t let you keep him.”

“They won’t know.”

Travis walked up to me, patted Nugget on the head and kissed my cheek. “If you just don’t want to leave him here, just say it.”

“I don’t want to leave him here.”

He smiled. “I’ll go load the truck.”

Maybe it was stupid takin’ him with us, but the idea of him not feeding for however long we’d be gone for made my stomach twist. So the three of us piled up into the old ute; me driving, Trav on the passenger side and Nugget perched up like he was something special right in between us. And we headed into town, to the hospital more specifically, to be with Ma.

* * * *

I wasn’t too far wrong about talkin’ for the three hour drive into town. Normally Trav would put his head on my shoulder and his feet on the dash, but not this time.

He’d taken the bottles and apples out of the bag and put Nugget into it. It must have done alright as a pouch, because the little guy was soon asleep.

And then we talked.

I admitted to bein’ scared, and thinkin’ that maybe we should have called the doc a long time before now. Travis thought the same. Cancer was such a hard-hittin’ word, and as soon as the doc said it, everything changed. I apologised again for not stopping once to ask if he was okay. His scared-as-hell face in my office reminded me that I wasn’t the only one anymore. I should have thought about him first, and I was sorry. I was so used to him bein’ the strong one, the one who held me together, that I just didn’t think.

Of course Travis laughed at that. He told me I was stronger than I gave myself credit for, and that I was doing the right thing—the very best thing—by dropping everything and going with Ma to the hospital.

“She must be so scared,” he said.

We did a little less talkin’ and a bit more hand-holdin’ after that.

* * * *

We decided it was probably a better idea to find a place to stay first, feed Nugget and get him all settled then we could head to the hospital and spend some uninterrupted time with Ma and George.

It was gettin’ on late afternoon, and it wasn’t strictly visiting hours yet. But the lady behind the desk must have taken pity on me, whether I looked nervous or something, but when I asked what ward Katie Brown was in, her answer damn near made me cry.

Oncology.

I hated hospitals. I hated the smell. The acrid scent of sickness, industrial disinfectants and horrible food burned in my nose and the back of my throat.

But most of all, I hated seeing Ma in the hospital bed. It confirmed everything that the doc had said—that she really was this sick. She looked so small and frail in the impersonal bed, and of all the things my Ma was, frail just didn’t fit.

But as bad as she looked, I think George looked worse. He was sitting beside the bed, holdin’ her hand.

It was easier to look at Ma, as sick as she was, than it was to see the sadness in George’s eyes.

It almost took my breath away.

Or crushed my lungs. I couldn’t decide which.

“Oh, Charlie, Travis,” Ma said. “Come in, boys. I told the nurses you’d be coming. Didn’t have any trouble getting in to see me?”

I shook my head and put my hand on the foot of the bed. “No. They let us straight up.”

“We’ve only just got into this room,” she said. “Had all sorts of tests, but I can rest now they said.”

“Did they tell you anything?” I asked quietly. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“The doc’s gonna come back when he has the blood tests and biopsy results back,” George said. “He was hoping it would be first thing tomorrow.”

“Well, that’s good,” I said, not really sure what else there was to say. “We’re stayin’ at a motel not too far from here. Same one we stayed at before, so we’ll be back nice and early. How about you, George?”

He barely took his eyes off Ma. “They said I could stay here. Told ’em I could sleep in the chair here, but they were gonna bring in a fold-up bed or something.”

“Good,” I said, knowin’ he had no intention of leaving any time soon. “It’ll be dinner time soon, I’m guessing. George, you want us to go get you something? You too, Ma. I don’t know what kinda special diet they’ll have you on or nothin’, but I’d be thinkin’ whatever it is ain’t gonna be all that great. We can bring you back something better.”