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“So you’re really going to stay with me?”

“I am,” Mason responds as he fixes us a sandwich. When he places the plate in front of me I pick at the bread and feel his eyes on me. “Eat, Care.”

“I’m not a child, Mase.”

“I know.”

“You know I can handle this.”

“Not saying you can’t. Just here to lend you a shoulder and hand. You don’t have to live this proud life and pretend everything’s on pause. You’re still here.”

His words are running through my mind and it instantly makes me feel guilty. Here I am alive and well, and I’m not honoring Evan’s memory. I don’t visit his grave or the police department. I don’t do anything. Thinking about seeing the department or going to the place Evan’s resting isn’t something I’m strong enough to do . . . yet.

Then there’s that other part of me.

I get it. I get what he’s saying, but it’s okay for me to lay low and grieve. My goodness what is up with everyone thinking they can come here and make me feel better. I like being in my bubble. My home, the home I have with Evan, is my safe place. I am safe here.

“But I don’t need your help,” I tell him.

“Really? You do know who I am and what I do, right?”

I glare at Mason and stand my ground. Yes, Mason is a great officer and can read people with his eyes closed, but not this time. I remember everything Evan taught me and stand my ground. When his fingers graze my arm I feel my face heat up.

What the?

My face heats and my chest tightens. What is going on? Looking away from his eyes I take a quick breath and shake my head.

“You see, Caroline, I’m not stupid. We’ve known each other for years and you can’t lie to me. I can read you and I know you. But, if you want to continue to play this
I’m fine
game, baby,” he laughs, “I never lose. So go ahead and keep up with this act. I’m a patient man and I make sure each of my moves mean something. I’m always a step ahead.”

Something tells me no matter what I say or do, Mason will know and there’s no point with keeping up with the
I’m fine
routine.

“There are hard days and easy days. I’m getting by, but sometimes I need to be alone,” I tell him with a smile and pull my hand away and take a bite from the turkey sandwich.

I keep my eyes away from his. Mason knows exactly what to look for to get the truth. Usually, if I hide away from him he’ll leave it alone and let me be. But I know Mason and I know he’s not going to let me be this time. Damn him.

Lifting my face to his, he cups my cheeks and looks at me. “Break on me, Care. I’m here, okay?”

“I can’t,” I mumble and shake my head. My body’s fighting me and screaming to find comfort in Mason. “I can’t.” I fight the tears building and swallow the ball of emotions. If I fall apart in front of him he’ll make me his priority. He won’t stop pushing until I’m better, his version of better. Fuck!

“Break. On. Me. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“Mase,” I sob. “I miss him.” Mason brings me into his arms and carries me so I’m sitting on his lap. I sob into his hard chest and grip his shirt, whispering Evan’s name and wishing the pain away.

“I know you do. We all do. This is what you need to do. You need to let it go because if the situation were reversed you know Evan would go mad with anger and sadness. He’d destroy the house and get wasted drunk. It’s okay to fall apart. You have me, Care. I’m not leaving you.”

“Please don’t,” I whimper. “Please. You can’t leave me again.”

“I’m not leaving you again.”

His words dig deep in my soul and make my heart beat. Mason rubs my back so gently that it soothes me and I slowly calm down and take a few slow breaths.

“I just want to be okay. I want to be able to feel normal and get out of the house. But,” I stop and think about what I want to say. “I’m scared. I’m scared to be okay.”

“Don’t be scared. You have so many people who love you and will protect you. Don’t worry anymore. The more you keep your emotions bottled up, the more you’ll feel like you’ll explode and when the explosion happens it’ll bring you over the edge. Stop feeling the need to keep in how you’re feeling. I’m here for you so unleash how you feel on me. I can handle you, Care.”

After a while I climb out of Mason’s lap and honestly I feel better. All the emotions I let out is off my shoulders. I feel drained and tired, but when I look at Mason he has a smirk on his face.

“What?”

“Go change into workout clothes.”

“Ah why?” I mutter. “Oh my God are you calling me fat?”

“What?” Mason laughs. “Woman, you’re something. No you are not fat. But I find that running releases a lot of shit and you need to do something so go change and let’s go on a run.”

I roll my eyes and go upstairs to change.

Sprinting the last quarter mile I fall on the lawn and cover my eyes with my arm. Holy shit that was an intense run. Mason sits down next to me and pours water on my face.

“Mase!” I scream and burst into laughter. Wow, this is the first time I’ve laughed since Evan’s death. He’s staring at me with a grin on his face and I sit up, wiping my face with his shirt. “Jackass.”

“You did well, Care. Do you feel better?”

Ugh I want to lie. “Meh,” I shrug.

“Don’t lie.”

I gasp, “Me? Lie? Noooooo,” I draw out. “I would never.”

“Whatever,” he laughs. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

Mason helps me up and we walk back inside. I hear a commotion in the kitchen and look at Mason wondering who is here.

“Helllllllo!” Tonya comes out of the kitchen with a margarita pitcher and a glass. “Welcome home!”

“Oh God,” I groan. Thursdays are margarita nights. Usually Tonya comes over and drinks while I sit on the couch and watch her. She tries so hard to get me to smile or talk, but I just sit there, motionless and in my own world.

“Okay. Ew. Go shower and come back down. I made dinner.” She smiles. “Why hello, Mason. You look terrifying as usual.”

“Oh, Tonya. When will you admit you want my sexy body?”

“Gag, please. I wouldn’t want you if you were the last man on this earth. I’d rather die alone.”

“Admit it,” he smirks, “you want this.”

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Tonya rolls her eyes and settles on the couch. “Go shower, Caroline, you smell and I need my drinking partner!”

“Fine, just don’t kill each other,” I tell them and head upstairs.

After my shower and getting ready I head back downstairs and see Mason in the kitchen, shirtless mind you, and at the stove. I’m not sure what he’s making and I don’t ask. Instead I sit down with Tonya in the living room and pour myself a glass of her delicious margarita.

“Well, well. I’m glad I have someone to drink with.” We clink glasses and I listen to Tonya talk about her day and it’s nice to feel something again. “You look good, Caroline.”

“I do?”

“Yeah,” she says. “There’s something about you that wasn’t there before.”

“I showered, so there’s that,” we laugh. “I feel good ya know? I broke down and had a complete meltdown. It felt good. Then Mason made me run.”

“You ran?”

“Yep. Apparently running isn’t the devil and I actually like it.”

“That’s awesome, babe. You need to let it out and stop feeling alone okay?”

“I’m trying.” I drink the margarita and lean back on the couch. I’m thinking about the past few hours with Mason and something isn’t sitting well with me. Here I am with my best friend, who has been there for me every day since losing Evan, and now with Mason in the picture I instantly feel better.

Tonya’s my person; you know, someone you can lean on and count on. We share so much and out of everyone in my life she’s the one I truly trust. When Evan died I was alone, more alone than I’ve ever been, and every single day she left her husband, Clarke, home and came to stay with me. This went on for six months and I never cracked a smile or cared what I looked like.

Now. . . . I am.

A few hours pass along with two pitchers of margaritas. Tonya and I laugh at just about everything and Mason sits on the bar stool watching us, laughing, and staring at me. I catch him a few times, but don’t say anything.

“Okayyyyy,” Tonya says. “Clarke’s here and I need sex so you kids have a good night.” Tonya leans down and kisses my cheek. “Good to hear you laugh, babe.”

“Thanks for everything.” I take her hand and give her a squeeze. “Love you, bestie.”

“Forever and ever.”

Mason walks Tonya out and talks to Clarke for a few minutes before walking back inside and locking the door. This makes me giggle, falling on my back on the couch, and laughing as if he did the funniest thing ever.

“Drunk?”

“Maybeeeeee,” I squeal. Sighing I sit up and pat the cushion telling Mason to sit down with me. When I turn to face him, he’s giving me that look again. I can’t describe it and I’m not sure if I want him to stop. “Why are you really here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know there’s another reason why you’re here. So why?”

“Listen,” he wipes his face and sighs. “Let’s talk tomorrow okay?”

“Why? Tell me now, Mase.”

He sighs again and takes my hand. “Evan made me make him a promise.” He pauses and studies me. “If anything were to happen to him then I was to take care of you and make sure you didn’t stop living. It took me a while to come here because I was undercover for a little bit. I’m here now and you’re going to start living again.”

“Oh,” is all I can say.

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong I’m getting used to the idea of you being here and I like it, but it sucks to know Evan took care of things and didn’t talk to me about it.”

“He didn’t want you to worry, Care.”

“You’re right,” I whisper. “I get it, Mason. But I need you to understand there are going to be days and nights I’ll break down. There are going to be times I want to be alone and you have to respect that.”

“Of course. Whatever you need I’m here for you. You mean too much to me.”

“I do?”

“Why’s that so hard to believe?”

I shrug, “I don’t know. Probably because I’m putting a damper on your love life.”

“First, there’s no love life and you know me. I don’t do the girlfriend thing. Not since Danielle.”

“Ah gotcha. Have you talked to her since the break up? How’s she doing?”

“We talk here and there. She’s good. She’s Danielle.”

“That’s good,” I smile. I like Danielle, but part of me is kind of glad they aren’t together.

“So it’s settled. I’m going to move in and make sure you’re okay. When I feel like you’re ready to be on your own then I’ll leave. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Good,” Mason kisses my forehead and suggests we relax and watch a movie.

Waking up the next morning I head downstairs to make breakfast when something catches my eye outside. I look out and see Mason washing my car.

Shirtless.

Muscles galore.

A tan and toned body.

Oh. My.

I’ve seen Mason without a shirt before on several occasions. We’ve been to the beach together or outside for cookouts and a few times have even shared the same bed. This isn’t something I should be surprised with. For some reason . . . I am. The way he reaches over and stretches his arm to wash my windshield. His back muscles bulge and when he turns around his six pack is staring at me, whispering,
“you think I’m sexy, don’t you?”

“Get it together, Caroline,” I scold myself and turn away to make eggs and bacon. I fix two plates and open the door to call out to Mason. “Hey, loser, time to eat,” I laugh and watch his smile form on his face.

“Loser?” he laughs and puts down the sponge. Seductively walking towards me he gives me a kiss on the cheek and looks at me again. “Loser, hmm?”

“Ah yeah. I mean who washes cars now a days. Trying to make the women in my neighborhood hot and bothered?”

“Oh, baby, I don’t need to do that,” he winks and heads inside.

Following him we sit at the counter and enjoy breakfast. I see him looking at me and wonder what’s going on.

“Is there a reason why you’re looking at me?”