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Leaving the asshole with Devin I hurry to Caroline’s house to check on her. Caroline’s my best friend, but lately I haven’t been a very good friend. I used to count on her for almost everything and all the times she saved me from high school to college to the academy. She’s an amazing woman and someone I truly admire.

And now I feel like the biggest fucking douchebag in the world.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen or talked to her. When Evan died, I couldn’t manage to do much of anything. My best friend and brother, gone, without warning or notice. I stayed home for a while and then got back to work. My goal was to get to the bottom of the hit and why. Evan was a good cop and good man. He made some idiotic mistakes and I questioned his judgment, but never did I think he’d die and leave us.

When I rush through the door I see her wobbling on the couch and run to her side. Pulling her into my arms, I hear Tonya giving me orders about what to do with her.

“I got it, Tonya,” I tell her and turn my attention back to Caroline. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

“Mason, is she okay?” Tonya screams again and tugs on my arm.

“Clarke, get her out. Caroline needs a minute.”

I hear Clarke getting Tonya under control and when the front door closes, I turn back to Caroline and see her pale as a ghost with eyes wild and wide. I force myself to calm down and not think about the text message from Tonya asking me to swing by with Devin. As soon I got the text message I got to the bar within minutes and seeing the filth’s arms around her, something inside me snapped and I lost my cool. When I feel her hand on my face I turn my head back to her and see her calm.

“Are you okay?” She nods. “You sure?” She shakes her head.

“I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to do anything, but I have to live my life. Things,” she pauses and pulls away from me. Cowering over in the corner of the couch she brings her legs up under her and lies down. “Everything sucks.”

I look into her deep brown eyes and move her hair to the side. “You’re okay, Care. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises, Mase. Just don’t.”

“Care, listen to me,” I calmly say and instantly relax when I realize everything is fine and she’s not hurt. “Shit happens. You have to do things and get out of the house. Even if you go to the bar, it’s part of life.”

“Getting assaulted?”

“No. That shit was scary and, baby, I know it sucks. It just happens, though.”

Caroline eyes me and tries to push me away. I don’t move and instead of listening to what she wants I pull her up and sit down with her on my lap. Quickly she gets off and sits on the other side of the sofa. Seeing her like this kills me. She’s a strong woman and can handle herself, but since Evan died the woman I used to know is a ghost.

“Talk to me, Care. Don’t shut down.”

“I’m not shutting down, Mase. Just don’t feel like doing much, so if you would leave me alone that’d be great. You’ve been gone for
months
and I’m dealing with this as well as I can. What do you care anyways? Don’t you have a woman to fuck?”

“Not happening.”

“Well you need to finish your shift, so go. I’m fine. Leave me alone and don’t come back. I’ve been fine without you. You aren’t my knight in shining whatever. You’re just a manwhore slut who forgot all about me.”

I take the insults like a man and understand where she’s coming from. I understand I’ve been a dick and deserve her anger.

“Stop, Care. I’m sorry and I’ll do anything to get my best friend back.”

“If you want your best friend back then leave and don’t come back. I’ll be so perfectly fine without you.”

“This isn’t over, Care.” I tell her and place her on the couch. “Not in a long shot.”

“Whatever. Just go and finish whatever you need to. I’m sure some hoebag is waiting for you.”

What the hell is her deal? My sex life shouldn’t concern her especially since I’m here to help her.

“Care what the hell is your deal?”

“What?”

“Does my sex life bother you or something?” I wait for her to answer, but she doesn’t. “Just to let you know, even though it’s not important, but I haven’t had sex with anyone since Danielle.”

“Whatever,” she mutters.

“Come on. What’s your deal? This isn’t like you.”

“And you know who I am and how I should be?”

“Yeah. I’ve known you for a long time, Care. You laugh at my sex life and joke around with me. Now you’re cold and distant.”

“Well, excuse me for not being Miss. Fucking Daisy Sunshine!”

“I love you, Care, and I know you’re going through a really hard time, but this bitchy attitude and trying to hurt other people isn’t going to help you.”

“Just leave, Mason,” she tiredly says and turns away from me.

She’s right, I have a lot to do down at the station and I need to check on Devin to make sure he booked that filthy asshole. I let out a sigh and pick her up again to take her upstairs. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Looking at the pictures on the walls a pang of guilt hits me.

Opening the door to her bedroom, I lay Caroline down and sit on the edge of the bed. We don’t say anything and she stares at the ceiling.

“I’m fine. You really can leave now.”

“No you aren’t. Don’t lie, it doesn’t fit you.”

“Well you don’t know how I’m feeling or what’s going on in my head. I can take care of myself and I let my guard down tonight. So again, if you could please just leave me alone that’d be great.”

“This isn’t over, Care. I’ll be back.”

“Whatever,” I hear her mutter and walk out of her bedroom. Closing the door, I listen for anything and I find silence instead.

When I make it outside, Tonya and Clarke are sitting on the porch chairs and I let out a breath. I fill them in and see Tonya looking down. She won’t look at me while I’m talking.

“Shouldn’t have taken her to the bar, Tonya,” I tell her. “You know she’s not one hundred percent yet. Why would you do that to her?”

“I know,” she mutters. “But you don’t see what I see. You don’t hear what I hear. She’s a mess, Mason. There’s only so much I can do for her and don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining. I just want the old Caroline back.”

“That’s probably not going to happen. She’s been through hell and back. I don’t think she even remembers who she used to be.”

“I bet you can help her remember.” This gets my attention and I look at her, trying to figure out what plans she’s creating in her head.

“How so?”

“Move in with her, Mason. I think she needs you more than me.” I look at Clarke and register what Tonya suggests.

“Mason?” Clarke says and I turn around muttering a few curse words under my breath. The case I’m working on is too dangerous and Caroline can never find out the details. The problem with living with her is she’ll easily have access to the case files if I bring it back to the house or she’ll go on her own investigation to find out for herself. Living with her opens too many doors that’ll expose her to things I don’t want her to know about. Caroline can never find out and when she does I have no idea what’ll happen.

“I don’t know,” I answer them. For a while it’s only been me. I don’t have time to worry about anyone else. Being a police officer is all I know. Protecting this community, my friends and family is what I know. I’m not a babysitter. I’m a protector.

“You know she needs you. You’re the only one who can get through to her. Whenever her and Evan fought you were there for her. Whenever he was out doing an overnight or undercover you were there. Don’t you see how important you are?”

“You were too.”

“Yeah, but not like you.” Tonya smiles. “You’re special to her, Mason.”

“Special?”

“Mmm hmm, now work your magic and bring me back my best friend.”

Taking off to the station, I finish paperwork and by the time it’s six in the morning I head home and crash on my bed. A few hours pass before my lovely mother walks in and smiles at me.

“Mother.”

“My darling son. You need to eat.”

For the past year I’ve been living with my parents in a gated community protected by twenty-four seven security. When a threat came to my family I gave up my apartment and moved in to make sure my parents were okay. When my sister, Heather, is at college or doing clinical I’ve instructed her to text me at least three times a day to make sure she’s okay. Even though her school is only twenty minutes away I still worry.

Now that she’s home for the summer, my mind goes a little crazy when she’s out of my sight. My family’s everything to me and I’ll always protect them. Being a cop this is how my life is and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Mother,” I say again, “I had a breakfast sandwich on the way home. I’m fine.”

She rolls her eyes at me causing me to laugh. “Mason Alexander Ryan do not give me sass. I don’t care if you’re twenty-six or fifty, when I say you need to eat you get your butt out of bed and join us for breakfast.”

Grabbing my phone, I look at the time. Eight in the morning. Fuck.

“Okay,” I slowly get up and rub my face. “I’ll be down. Is Heather awake?”

“Yes,” she smiles, “we’re waiting downstairs so hurry please.”

“Will do.”

Walking into the kitchen I join my family at the table and devour the breakfast in front of me: pancakes, sausage, eggs and fruit. God love my mother. She’s always cooking, baking, cleaning or something to keep herself busy.

Both of my parents are retired. My mother taught high school science for thirty years and my dad retired from the force when he turned fifty-five. They’re both close to sixty and enjoying their lives.

“Heard you went down to
Murphy’s Law
last night,” Heather looks at me with curiosity in her eyes. “You saved Caroline from what I understand.”

“Caroline? How is she doing? Tell her we received her thank you card, honey. Oh that poor girl,” my mother says shaking her head and wiping a tear. “Wait, honey, you saved her?”

“Ah yeah, some drunk asshole got too handsy. We arrested him and he was released this morning,” I laugh, remembering the threats of that scumbag, shouting that he’s suing us for police brutality. So scared.

“Serves him right,” my dad adds in. “She okay?”

I nod. “Yeah a little shaken up.”

“I expect she’s still grieving over Evan. Poor girl. I wish there’s more we can do for her.”

I let out a sigh and look at my parents. “She’s trying, but it’s a struggle for her. She locks herself inside all day and all night. She’s not teaching anymore and the fire she had inside of her is gone. I’m not sure if she’ll ever find herself again.”

Heather scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I’m sorry I know he was your best friend and everything and I’m sorry he died, but Caroline could do so much better.”

“Excuse me?”

“Heather!” my mother shouts.

“What? I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking. He was an asshole to her. Do you know how many times I caught him at the bar flirting with blonde bimbos?”

“He was undercover, Heather,” I tell her. “It’s part of the job.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes.”

“So two weeks before he died I saw him at the bar. I was out with my friend, Amber, because it was her last night in town, and they were all up on each other. It was like they knew each other. And trust me I was so right.”

Amber?
“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You don’t know your
best friend
after all. I’m just saying Caroline could have done better.”

I let my anger calm down and look to my parents for support. Neither says anything and I put it in the back of my head to probe Heather later to find out what she knows.

When we’re undercover it’s true we have to do things we aren’t proud of. Then I remember the night I found Evan at the bar leaving with someone he shouldn’t have been with. If it’s who I’m thinking, and that exact memory, I’m going to have to figure it out and keep it a secret.

One time when I was undercover, I had to take a few lines of coke. It fucked with my head and blurred my vision, but I managed and pulled through. After reporting it to Clarke, we finalized the reports and went in. Devin’s had to do some shitty things too. It’s part of the job and something we agreed to when we swore in and vowed to serve and protect.

When breakfast is over, I find Heather in her room and quietly close the door. She looks up at me from her computer and takes off her glasses. As much as I love my sister, sometimes, she’s a pain in the ass. She’s studying to be a doctor and I think she’ll rock this role. Since school is heavy for her, my parents are having her live at home until she’s finished with school and lands a job. There’s no way she can work and study to become a doctor.

“I need to know more about Amber. What do you know?” Slight panic sets in and I control my tone so it doesn’t raise any flags to my sister.

Heather sighs, “It’s not something I want to talk about. But, Amber and I met when I was in California and I told her about Webster. She got interested and told me she was moving here. One week she was here visiting and we went to the bar. She saw Evan and you know the rest.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. When I asked her about it the next day she didn’t tell me too much about it. All she said was they were friends,” Heather explains and my mind’s turning. I have to do everything I can to ensure Evan’s secrets stay where they should. Caroline can never find out about Amber or what Evan did. It’ll destroy her and she’ll never be the same.

“Amber never knew about Caroline. I guess. I don’t know. We lost touch after a while. It’s like she vanished and never wanted to be found,” Heather explains to me and I do nothing instead of listen and take it all in.

“Fuck, Evan,” I mutter.

“I know,” Heather sighs again. “You cannot tell her. There’s no way Caroline can ever find out. Just let her have this piece of mind that Evan loved her until his final breath. She doesn’t need to know about Amber.”

“Did she go to the funeral?” Heather nods her head. “So she knows about Caroline now.” Heather nods her head again. “Fuck. She better not approach her. And you’re sure you haven’t talked to Amber?”