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“When we broke up did you feel relieved?”

“In some ways, yes.”

“Was I good to you?”

“You were and sure we had issues, but that’s in the past.”

“Then do you think I’ll be good for Caroline?”

“I think you need to figure this out and talk to her. Make her feel again. Make her life good again.”

“Yeah,” I respond and change the topic. Danielle’s right. She can only do so much to help me and now I have to figure this out for myself.

I leave the restaurant feeling better and instead of going back to Caroline’s I head to my parents’ house to get ready. I still have a few hours before our date. Taking out my phone when I walk into my parents’ house I text Caroline to see how she’s feeling.

Caroline: I’m good. Is everything okay?

Me: Yeah. Everything’s fine. I saw Danielle today and we caught up on what’s going on.

Caroline: Oh.

Me: It’s not like that, baby. She’s a good friend.

Caroline: I know.

Me: Don’t be jealous. You’re the only one I’m thinking about.

Caroline: I’m not jealous and that’s good to know I’m the one on your mind. Keep it that way. ;)

Me: I can’t wait to see you tonight.

Caroline: Me too. So where are you taking me?

Me: Don’t worry about it. I got you something. It’s in your room. Wear that and let me take care of the rest.

Caroline: Ok. =)

“Is that my son? Is my son smiling from ear to ear?” I hear my mother say and I give her a kiss on the cheek before sitting down at the kitchen table. She turns to look at me and I shrug my shoulders. “You know I’ve always liked Caroline. She’s sweet. You need a sweet woman.”

“Things are good. I’m taking her out tonight. Dinner at
Pane Vino on the River.
”

“That sounds nice honey. Are you doing anything else?”

There’s no way I’m telling her I’m taking Caroline to
The Woodcliff
hotel tonight and spending time with her so I simply smile and she shakes her head.

“Well have fun,” she laughs and I get up to head to my room and get ready for tonight.

Taking one last look I say goodbye to my parents and get in my car to head to her place. Thanks to Tonya I have a bag for her so we’re all set for tonight. I don’t know what I’m expecting or if I’m expecting anything. I want to spend time with her and feel her next to me without being in a house she shared with Evan. As much as it doesn’t bother me that I’m living with her, in many ways it still does, because here I am, the best friend, playing house with her since Evan’s gone.

Parking outside of her house I look at the door and then look at the gift I got her. It’s nothing special just a necklace with her birthstone: amethyst. Tonight it’s about her and I. We’re going to figure out what exactly is going on between us and go from there. Doing that in the house they shared isn’t what I want to do. I want to be away from their memories so I don’t feel haunted by his ghost. If this is going where I think and hope it’s going I want to start fresh with Caroline and build a new life for her. I want to give her everything she deserves and needs, and hopefully when the time’s right I’ll make her understand the secret I needed to keep from her.

Devin and Clarke’s words play in my head. Each time I think what I’m doing is right, something or someone makes me question what I’m doing. Everything about Caroline makes me want to be better; she pushes me to be a better man. She’s giving me new perspectives on life and with her I laugh more, smile more, and fucking hell, I sound like a woman. Rubbing my face I lean back in my car seat and stare at the house I’ve been living in these past few months. Within these months she’s gone from breakdowns and nightmares to waking up in my arms and adventuring into things I never thought possible. She’s controlling her life and making it possible to live. Instead of being locked away she’s going out and having fun. We both make each other come alive.

With her I’ll do anything and give her anything. If she wants space to think I’ll do that. If she wants more I’ll do that. My strength crumbles when I’m with her and there’s nothing I want more than to make her mine.

Sliding on the beautiful black dress I look in the mirror and look from each angle. The dress falls right above my knees with a classy V neck and the back is open so wearing a bra isn’t possible, but luckily this dress makes my boobs look fabulous. Retouching my lip gloss I fluff my hair some more and take a deep breath. Tonight I’m going out with Mason on a real date. This isn’t a friendly friend date, but more so a romantic swoon date. I’m not sure what to expect tonight so I’m going in with no expectations. I’m going with the flow and will not worry.

When the doorbell rings I take another breath, grab my clutch and head downstairs. Opening the door I smile when I see Mason in a deep blue button-down, gray dress pants, black shoes and in his hands is a bouquet of roses and lilies. The way his shirt hugs to his muscular body makes it impossible to not stare. His height with his broad shoulders and muscular arms makes it incredibly difficult to not have sexual thoughts. Maybe we can skip the date and have a repeat of that night with touching and more pleasure than either of us can imagine.

On the outside Mason stands tall with his tough exterior and alluring presence, yet I know him. To me, he’s not Mason Ryan bad ass police officer. To me, he’s just Mason. He’s my best friend and the reason why I’m able to get back to my life. I appreciate how tough he is and how gentle he can be when we’re together. I feel his tenderness and ache for more. In so many ways I want him to take control. I want him to push me against the wall and make my body come apart.

But knowing Mason I know he’s waiting for me to take the first leap of faith.

“Hi,” I breathe out.

“You look amazing.” He smiles and comes in. Handing me my flowers he leans in and kisses my cheek. “Breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Let me put these in a vase and we can get going.”

“Sounds good.”

Grabbing a vase from the cabinet I fill it with cool water and feel his eyes on me, watching me, desiring me, causing my hands to shake and yearn for his touch again.

“Let me help you,” he mutters and takes the vase from my hands while I trim the flowers and place the bouquet in the water.

“Thank you again for the beautiful flowers.” I smile and lean in to kiss him. “I love it.”

“Anything to make you smile. I missed you.”

“Why? I’m always here.” I know the answer. I know he thinks about me when he’s at work or out and it makes me happy knowing he’s breaking down my walls and cares so much about me.

“I know. It’s different when we’re away. I think about holding you in my arms and spending more time with you. Things are different now. I don’t just look at you as my best friend, but something more.”

“You do?”

“Why are you acting surprised?”

I shrug and walk to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, smelling him, enjoying this moment with just him. “I’m not trying to act surprised. It’s nice to hear you say these things and know how patient you are.”

“You’re the one in control, Caroline. You’re the one who sets the pace and I’ll follow. Whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do that, I’ll be here and I’m not walking away.”

Right at this moment I completely understand where he’s coming from and I don’t want to confuse him with assumptions. I understand his hesitation and I’m glad he’s letting me take control. I need control. I need to know what’s going to happen so I can prepare myself. It baffles me how I can move on to someone I’ve known almost my whole life and have never considered in a romantic fashion; someone who’s been there for me through almost all the monumental moments of my life. Mason Ryan is my someone.

“Take me on our date,” I tell him and stand on my tippy toes to kiss the bottom of his chin. “I’m ready for a night out.”

“My pleasure.”

Mason places his arm around my shoulders as we walk outside to his car. Like the gentleman that he is he opens the door for me and soon we’re heading to his surprise date for me. Buckling my seatbelt I watch him get in the car and start it, reversing out of my driveway and towards the highway. To say I’m nervous and anxious is an understatement.

“Are you going to give me a hint as to where we’re going?”

“Downtown.”

“Downtown? Okay. How about where?”

He laughs and places his hand on my thigh. “How about you wait and see so I can show you how romantic I can be?”

“Oh my, how did I get so lucky?” I press my hand to my chest and exaggerate my tone and gesture.

His mouth curves into a smile as he takes my hand into his and brings it up to his lips. “Such a sassy woman.”

A few more minutes and Mason’s parking in front of
Pane Vino on the River
and an attendant opens my door to welcome both of us.

“Fancy shmancy,” I whisper to Mason. He takes my hand into his and we walk inside and are immediately seated when he gives the hostess his name. We’re seated by the window overlooking the water. I look outside and love the sight I see. It’s not the prettiest sight, but seeing the water flowing brings me peace and hope. The water rushes from one end to the other, washing away anything from the start and giving new light and start to the next wave of water. It sounds silly and possibly trivial . . . it just brings me peace of mind.

“Hey, Officer Ryan.” I look up from the menu to see a beautiful blonde smiling at Mason.

“Hey, Stephanie. How’s everything going?”

“Good,” she answers and I hate that I’m feeling a little insecure, even though I shouldn’t, most likely she’s someone he’s helped so I continue looking at my menu since I have no idea what to do or say.

“Stephanie, this is my girlfriend, Caroline. Caroline, this is Stephanie. I helped her a few years ago.”

I turn to her and she still has that beautiful smile on her face. “It’s so nice to meet you,” she says and extends her hand to shake mine. “Officer Ryan has been a blessing in my life.”

“That’s so wonderful to hear,” I tell her while looking at him then back at her. “He’s a wonderful man and police officer.”

“So true. Without him I’d probably be homeless or something.”

“I’m so glad he was able to help you.”

“Me too. Okay so enough about me. What can I get you to drink and start off with?”

We order a bottle of wine and clams casino to start. I take Mason’s hands into mine and smile. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Every day I go into my job not knowing what to expect. Some nights are good, and others leave a mark on your heart you can’t forget. With Stephanie,” he sighs, “I can’t get into it too much. She’s a fighter and got out of a bad situation before it got worse. I love my job and I love the people I help. It’s hard a lot of the times.”

“Seeing that smile on her face you know she cares about you and is so thankful.”

“I care about everyone I help and many I try to stay in touch with especially the ones who really need someone to look after them.”

“I’m so proud of you, Mason.”

“Thanks, baby.” He smiles.

“I hate to ruin this moment,” I say, biting my lower lip, and looking at his hand as his fingers gently rub my wrist causing my body to vibrate from his touch. “So I’m your girlfriend?”

“If you want to be. I’m falling for you, Care.”

“I’m falling for you too,” I interrupt him. “Just want you to know when we’re together or when we kiss I don’t think about Evan. I think about Evan when it’s quiet and I’m alone or shopping at our favorite stores. When I’m with you I don’t think about him and I know that might sound heartless. I’m not sorry for that, though. It’s you who I want to be with, Mason.”