Remember to Forget, Revised and Expanded (25 page)

Levi's arms are around me, and his head is resting in the crook of my neck. I'm pretty
sure he's going to fall asleep soon. His breaths are slowing down, and his heart
is beating gently.

“Delilah,” he whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Today was the best day ever,” he says, yawning.

“We barely did anything and I never did my homework.”

“I could do nothing with you and still have fun.”

I smile and squeeze Levi's hand. I hadn't even realized how close we had actually
gotten.

“We should do this again,” I tell him.

“Tomorrow. And the day after. And every day after that.”

I laugh, and Levi moves slightly to get more comfortable.

“I'm tired. All this talking has worn me out,” he says, yawning.

“Goodnight, Levi,” I say as I get up to leave.

“Goodnight, Delilah.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

LEVI

T
he next few days go by quickly. Delilah goes to school, and then afterward we hang
out for a little. Yesterday, while we were talking, I realized Christmas is a little
over a week away, and I'm not prepared at all.

Dad and I don't even have a Christmas tree yet. I bet my mum put hers up weeks ago.
It's our first time not decorating the tree together. It feels weird not being with
her for Christmas, like Christmas can't happen without her.

I've been trying to get closer to my dad, but things are still not how they once
were. It's getting better, however. It's definitely better than it was when I first
got here. So, I thought I'd surprise him by getting a Christmas tree.

I call Delilah, even though it's nine o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. Hopefully
she's awake. She picks up after a few rings.

“Levi, do you know what time it is?” she mumbles.

“Yes, I'm aware,” I whisper, making sure it's quiet enough that my dad won't hear.
I still haven't spoken to him.

“Why are you calling so early?”

“I just—I need a Christmas tree,” I tell her, suddenly embarrassed that I woke her
up to talk about this.

“Christmas is, like, a week away, and you still don't have one?”

“My dad's been super busy. I want to surprise him. He's leaving in an hour, and he'll
be gone all day.”

“That's so cute!” Delilah says loudly. She's much more enthusiastic now. I feel
my cheeks blush.

“I need someone to drive me and help me get a tree.”

“You're seriously only using me for a chauffeur?”

“No, no! I didn't mean it that way. I wanted you to come with me,” I splutter.

“I don't know, Levi. I'm really busy and I—”

"Please.”

“I'm just kidding. Of course I'll come,” Delilah says, giggling.

“Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“You're welcome. Oh, and Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“Your voice sounds cute over the phone,” she says quickly.

“Thanks?” It's a good thing Delilah can't see me right now, because I'm smiling widely
and blushing a deep red.

“It's a compliment, accept it. I'll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

I hear the doorbell ring a few minutes later. I'm getting dressed and only have on
a shirt and boxers. I run to the door, even though I know Delilah has let herself
in. I tug my shirt down as far as it can go.

“You said fifteen minutes!” I whisper-yell, so my dad won't hear from his room.

Delilah tries to hold in her laughter, but ends up laughing hysterically. “Are those
pizzas?” she asks, referring to my boxers.

“I was getting dressed!”

“That doesn't answer my question!”

“Yes, it's pizza,” I say, blushing.

“You're unbelievable. Go change—I'll wait out here,” she tells me, still laughing.

“I hate you,” I mumble as I head to my room. I quickly get dressed, still slightly
mortified. I walk out of my room and find Delilah eating a bowl of cereal on the
couch.

“I'm starving, and all you have is plain Cheerios. Not even honey nut. What kind
of life do you and your dad live?” Delilah says with her mouth full.

I shrug and sit beside her, almost causing some of the milk to spill out of her cereal
bowl.

“Can we go?” I whisper.

“Let me finish my cereal! You literally woke me up ten minutes ago, and I'm hungry!”

I put my hands up. “Whoa. Someone's not a morning person.”

She quickly finishes her breakfast, while I anxiously wait. We lie to my dad—Delilah
tells him that we're going to Aiden's for the day. He believes it, thankfully.

“So, where are we getting the tree?” Delilah asks once we start driving.

“I dunno. You're the one who's lived here all your life.”

“You're so sarcastic now,” she says, sighing heavily.

“Not speaking for months has given me time to think of great sarcastic responses.”

“They're not that great, but whatever makes you happy.”

“Hey!”

Delilah turns down multiple roads until I see acres of Christmas trees. She pulls
into the parking lot, and I get out of the car quickly.

“Look at all the trees to pick from!” I say excitedly. I grab Delilah's hand and
run toward the trees. She laughs and follows, although she has no choice since I'm
tugging her behind me.

We walk through many trees, and I can't find any I like. I'm looking for a medium-sized
one, but they're all either too big or too small.

“What about that one?” Delilah asks, pointing to a tree.

“Nope.”

She sighs, and we continue walking. Half the time I forget to look at the trees because
I'm too busy watching Delilah.

“Is that my beanie?” I ask.

“Yep,” she says, blushing.

I smile widely. “It looks cute.”

She pulls the hat farther past her ears and smiles.

Sometimes I wonder how Delilah and I have come to where we are now. When I first
saw her, I didn't want anything to do with her. I never wanted to see her again.
And now, I don't want to go a day without her. I hate feeling this way, but I like
it too. I'm trying to be happier, not just for Delilah, but for everyone. For me
too. But even when I'm happy, like right now, I still feel sad. I still feel incomplete,
like something is missing, but I'm not sure what. I'm just trying not to show it
as much.

“Everything okay?” Delilah asks, probably noticing that I've zoned out.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Let's keep looking.”

Delilah links her arm through mine as we walk through the trees. After what feels
like hours, I think I've found the perfect one.

“That's it!” I say excitedly.

“You sure?”

“It's perfect! We have to get it!”

We get the tree cut down (by a worker, of course, because I don't trust myself with
something like that) and we nearly break the car trying to get it into the back.

The whole car ride home, I'm afraid the tree is going to smash through a window whenever
we hit the slightest bump. Being in a vehicle without a tree in the back makes me
nervous, and this is just adding to it. Thankfully, nothing goes wrong, and we get
home safely.

“I think your dad will love this,” Delilah tells me as we pull into the driveway.

“I hope so. Do you think Lucy would wanna help decorate?”

“She probably would, but she's at her friend's house today.”

“Oh, all right. Tomorrow, do you wanna help me go Christmas shopping?”

“Maybe.”

“I have to get something for my parents, Caleb, Aiden, you, Lucy, and Mitchell.”

I was debating whether or not to get something for Mitchell, but I figured I would.
He seems like he could use a friend.

“You don't have to get something for me.”

“Of course I do!” I tell her, getting out of the car.

“I don't need anything.”

“Sure you do. What do you want?”

“Nothing.”

“But you're my best friend,” I pout. I instantly regret saying it.

“I'm your best friend?” she asks quietly.

“Well, yeah,” I say softly. I open up the back door and start to pull the tree out,
trying not to scratch the car.

“You're mine too,” she whispers, helping me pick up the tree. I feel butterflies
in my stomach from knowing that I'm her best friend too.

We're able to get the tree into the house without damaging anything except for a
lamp. Neither of us have any idea how to set up a tree on our own, so we have to
look it up. It takes half an hour, but it's finally up and standing.

“Where are the ornaments?” Delilah asks.

“Ornaments? I didn't even think of that,” I say, nervously rubbing the back of my
neck.

“You're kidding me.”

“Maybe the attic? Is there even an attic in this house?”

“Let's check downstairs,” Delilah says, running into the basement. I follow after
her, and we search through all the shelves. We can't find anything Christmas related.
I'm starting to wonder if my dad ever did anything for Christmas.

“It's probably in the box marked ‘Christmas Ornaments,' ” I say after a few minutes,
laughing and pointing to a box on the floor. I don't know how we didn't notice it
sooner.

“That would make sense,” Delilah says.

I bring the box upstairs, and, thankfully, I don't break or drop anything. I open
up the box and take out every single ornament. Surprisingly, my dad has many nice
ornaments and decorations.

“Wait! We need music!” Delilah yells, plugging her phone into the speakers. She starts
to play Christmas music loudly and smiles widely. I roll my eyes, but I have to admit,
it's putting me in the Christmas spirit.

I pick up an ornament and hand it to her. “Wanna put the first one on together?”

She nods and holds on to it with me. We put it in the center of the tree, and I watch
it hang on the branch. It looks so small all alone on the big tree.

We continue to place the ornaments, trying to cover the whole tree. Delilah can't
reach the top parts, so that's my job. I hum along to the music, quietly singing
some of the songs.

“You sing well,” Delilah says, looking at me from behind the tree.

I shake my head.

“And you say you don't like music,” she whispers.

“I don't! I promise, this is the only time you'll ever hear me sing.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” she says, smirking.

One of the ornaments I'm holding slips out of my hand—lucky for me, it lands on the
carpet, so it doesn't break. It bounces a little and rolls into the kitchen. I chase
after it and put it on the tree.

Once we're out of space on the branches, it's time to put the star on the top.

“Here, you put it on,” I tell Delilah.

“I need a chair to stand on.”

“No, you don't.” I pick Delilah up by her waist until she can reach the top of the
tree. She puts the star on the top, and we both stare at it.

“It's beautiful,” I whisper.

“Isn't it?”

I keep holding her in the air, despite the fact she's begging me to put her down.
I squeeze her sides and lift her higher. She laughs and tells me to put her down,
but I put her over my shoulder.

“Levi!” she yells “Put me down!”

“Nope.”

“C'mon!” she yells, giggling. She gently hits my back and kicks her legs. I toss
her onto the couch and sit beside her.

“It looks good, don't you think?” I ask her.

She nods. “It looks great! Your dad will love it.”

“I hope so.”

“Levi?” she whispers as we both look at the tree.

“Yeah?”

“It's nice to see you happy like this. It's nice to see you getting better.”

I shrug, not really knowing how to respond. There's too much that I could say. For
instance, that it won't last long, but I could be wrong. Maybe I actually am getting
better.

We end up putting up Christmas lights and little snowmen around the house too. It's
very Christmasy. It really feels like Christmas now.

It's also the first Christmas with snow outside, which makes it even better. It's
strange having Christmas in the winter, since it's summer in Australia now.

I just try not to think about the fact it's the first Christmas ever without my mum.

I heat up some pizza for us while we wait for my dad to get home. I'm anxiously pacing
the kitchen while Delilah sits on the counter.

“Relax; he's going to love it,” Delilah tells me.

“I know. I just really wanna make him happy. I was so rude to him for months. This
is kinda my way of apologizing, I guess. I just want him to like it.”

Delilah hops off the counter and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Your dad will
love you no matter what. He knows what you've been going through. He's your dad—he'll
always forgive you.”

I hug Delilah tightly, which is quickly ended by the oven beeping.

“The pizza's ready,” Delilah mumbles into my shoulder.

“I know.”

I take the pizza out, and while we're eating I hear the front door open. I anxiously
stand up and run to the stairs. I wave to my dad while he's taking off his coat.

“It's cold out there! How was Aiden's? Did you—” My dad stops talking when he sees
the tree, and his jaw drops. “Did you do this?” he asks quietly.

I nod and nervously rub my nose.

He hugs me tightly, and I feel like he's never going to let go. “It's beautiful,
Levi. Thank you so much,” he whispers. He walks over to the tree, gently touching
some of the ornaments. “I haven't had a tree for two years,” he says. His eyes fill
up with tears, and I'm afraid he's going to start crying.