Remembering Phoenix (34 page)

My sister
- I’m not sure where to begin. It might have taken you 6 weeks to read 10 chapters in Always, but I’m so proud of you for even cracking open a book to begin with. Thank you for giving me the best nieces and nephew on planet earth. Thank you for being the crazy sister. Thank you for supporting me in everything that I do. I love you.

The rest of my family
(I’m sorry I’m not naming you all individually. It’s your fault for being so large) - My brothers, grandma, MIL, and everyone else—I love you all. Thank you for being the insane to my normal. (Yep. I’m claiming to be the sane one.) You keep life interesting.

Katy
- Remember when we ate at Applebee’s and I asked if you cared if I wrote a story about a girl who had the same type brain trauma as you? Well… here it is. I remember in 6
^th
grade when you started going to our school, you acted like you owned it. During canteen we had a burping contest with hot Dr. Pepper. I knew it was fate. We’d be stuck for life like super glue. You’ve been my best friend for over half my life. I thank you for being your own person. You inspire me to be brave, to go into the unknown. You’re one of the bravest people I know, and I’m so glad that you’re “my person”. I love you, Mac.

Adriana
- Clairee, there isn’t an adequate amount of words to explain what you’ve come to mean to me over this past year. I never imagined this new author I found via Instagram would come to be one of my closest friends. Your friendship means the world to me. You’re the only person who can have a full-blown conversation with me using nothing but GIF’s. I’m so thankful to have you in my corner. Xo- Ouiser.

Susan & Olivia
- You two swept in from the very beginning of my writing journey, and gave me critique and advice. During that process, however, you both have become so much more than just my beta readers. You have become friends. I’m so extremely grateful for you both. In a world where it’s difficult to find genuine people, I’ve found two of the best there is. I love you both.

Jenn Costa
- There’s not much I love more than your Boston accent. I love it almost as much as you love Brady, and we both know that is like, A LOT! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you agreeing to always beta for me, when you only do it for a select few. You are golden! Love you, lady!

Jenn Wood
- My editor, and the saving grace for all of my improper grammar, sentences that make NO sense, and over-all fluidity of this book. Thank you for loving my work, and loving it enough to polish it off. You are my unsung hero.

Joy
- I love you, but that’s implied. Also, assholes.

AM Johnson
- I’m so thankful for you and your friendship. I can’t wait until I can hug the shit out of you in real life. Be prepared. Be very prepared.

Lucy
- My twin. I wish New Zealand wasn’t so far away. You make me laugh like no other, and your voice messages are my favorite thing. Boo loves you.

Books by Randa Lynn
- Thank you ladies so much for always being so enthusiastic about my work. You mean the world to me.

Tiffany Ly
- My teaser genius. Thank you for making my beauties in a pinch. Thank you for making me laugh, and giving me the best book recommendations. You were my first ever book friend, and you’re pretty freaking amazing. Love you!

Jillian with Jilly’s Polished Proofs, thank you for helping polish up Remembering Phoenix with your keen eye. Brenda with Formatting Done Wright, thank you for making the inside beautiful, and working with my indecisive self. Erin with Southern Belle Promotions, thank you for getting my ARC’s out to bloggers. Kari Ayasha with Cover to Cover Designs, thank you SO much for designing the most gorgeous cover I have ever seen. I love it so incredibly much.

Every blogger reader who has shared my cover reveal, teasers, etcetera, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It still blows my mind every time someone takes the time out of their day to share something of mine. You are so very much appreciated.

And lastly, to the readers, who are the backbone of the book world. Thank you all so much for picking up my book. There are so many incredible authors and books out there, but you chose to buy mine. It means the world to me that you would take a chance on my words. Thank you to every one of you who have created teasers, and spread the word about my books. Just… thank you. You are all so incredibly amazing.

Xo, RL

Randa Lynn is an avid reader and lover of all things romance. She has sketched stories since she could write, and decided to finally pursue her dream in crafting real words from fictional lives.

She lives in Louisiana with her husband, five children, two dogs, and one obese cat. In her spare time, she loves watching her favorite movies, find recipes—that she’ll never cook—on Pinterest, and find GIF’s that fit any occasion.

Her favorite things in life are her children and husband, spending weekends at the baseball/softball diamonds watching her kids play, and reading, of course.

CONTACT:

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Books by Randa Lynn

BY RANDA LYNN:

ALWAYS

LENNI

2 MONTHS EARLIER

I hear muffled sounds as I walk down the stairs. I can’t make out what he’s saying, so I quietly inch my way down, just close enough so I can see and hear him. Peering around the corner, just before the stairs curve towards the first floor, I watch as a smirk flickers across his face. “Yeah, tomorrow. Love you.”

My heart falls into my chest. My hands clinch against the banister so tightly, my knuckles turn white. Who could he be talking to? He hasn’t uttered those words to me in over three years. Is he cheating on me, his fiancée?

My already broken heart bleeds with sadness, begging to be loved by the one man I have given my all to. I shouldn’t be surprised. I can’t remember the last time he’s shown me any sort of affection.

I take a deep breath, willing myself to suppress the emotions stirring within me. I don’t want him to see me upset. I don’t want him to know I was eavesdropping. That would only lead to repercussions.

I take the final steps down the stairs. As my foot reaches the bottom, his head whips in my direction, his smirk morphing into a look of disgust. He eyes me up and down disapprovingly. I hold my breath, preparing for what he’s about to spit out. “Well, don’t you look ridiculous?”

Words. They have the power of a wrecking ball. If you don’t use them wisely, they can obliterate every ounce of self-worth a person has. His words, they’ve whittled away the person I was, the person I should be. Now I’m a mere morsel of the woman I’ve always dreamt I would be. 

I instinctively look down, masking the hurt splayed across my face. I felt beautiful until this moment. Now I want to run away, cower in a corner, and cry thanks to him. I should be used to it. I should
expect
it. But when someone you love is holding the dagger, it cuts down to the very depths of your soul.

On their own accord, tears well in my eyes. I make the mistake of letting one fall. I wipe it away quickly, but not in time. ”You’re fucking pitiful,” he barks, grabbing my elbow with angry force. He jerks me back like a timid child. “I never should have agreed to marry you,” he murmurs as he heaves me back towards the stairs.

I fall face first into the banister, sinking down onto the cold, wood floor. A scorching, throbbing pain instantly shoots through my head—and my heart. I instinctively throw my hands up to cover my face. I wish I could click my heels together and leave; pinch myself and wake up from this horrible nightmare.

But I can’t, because this nightmare is real life.
My
life.

After a few moments I slowly remove my hands, forcing myself to face the ugly reality. The smell of copper overpowers my senses. Warm blood seeps through my fingers, trickling down my arms. It cascades from my forehead, staining my mint colored dress. Tears fall down my cheeks in an unrestrained downpour.

When did he become this evil? When is enough, enough?

Ryan jerks me up from the ground. “Get. The. Fuck. Up.”

I wish I could make him change. I wish I could make him love me again; be the kind, loving man I fell in love with. This? This isn’t him. This is someone completely different.

I timidly look up into his eyes. And for the first time ever, I see no morsel of the man I love. I don’t see the man who promised to love me forever. I see the absolute devil, and I despise every ounce of him.

“Get your goddamn ass up to that room and change out of those bloody clothes. Then clean up this blood and fix your fucking head.” He fervently grabs my chin and squeezes.
Tighter, tighter, tighter.
“I’ll tell everyone you weren’t feeling well. You’re not going anywhere until that gash is healed. When I get back, you better fucking hope you’re ready for what you’ve got coming.”

My tears fall. They fall for every broken promise he made. They fall for every moment I blamed myself for how he treated me. They fall for all the life he’s sucked out of me.

He shoves me up the stairs. As I fall again, I promise myself I’ll never fall back down because of him.

I’ve never been enough for him. I’ll never be enough for him.

Never enough.

Never. Enough.