Resilience (8 page)

Adam could feel the coating of fuzz on Todd’s butt, and he wanted to see if it was the same pale red-gold as his chest hair. Oh hell, Adam wanted to lick every inch of Todd’s ass, but that’d have to wait. Besides, he was a bit busy right then.

Todd’s thrusting increased, both in speed and force, and Adam quit thinking about anything besides the thick cock invading his mouth. He sealed his lips tight and applied pressure with his tongue, his throat, anywhere he could, and Todd grunted, burying his dick deep for a second before Adam jerked back. Tangy cum spurted from Todd’s length and

Adam swallowed eagerly. His own cock was so hard it hurt to move, but Adam had to stand up before his knees locked up. The cement floor was definitely not comfortable for such things.

Adam stood, Todd holding onto him loosely still. He took in Todd’s debauched appearance, his pants open, softening cock and his balls hanging out, the thick golden curls that lead to the treasure trail and on up to crinkly chest hair. Todd’s torso and neck were flushed, a rosy pink that was splotchy but looked good on Todd’s pale skin. His eyes were still shut, his breath still stuttering, lips parted and—

And Adam leaned in to kiss him, wanting to touch Todd everywhere. Todd melted against him, and Adam pressed in closer, his own arousal scorching him. Still kissing Todd, he unfastened his pants enough to get at his cock, then he grabbed Todd’s hand and pushed it towards his dick. He thought he might have to beg or prod or something, not just because of Todd’s inexperience, but because he was climaxed out, but no. Todd grabbed onto him eagerly, tensing with—Adam hoped—excitement.

“You feel…” Todd squeezed and gave Adam’s cock a pump. “Good. I want—” Todd nudged him back a half step and looked down. “God, Adam! Look at us!” Todd’s voice was quiet but strong nonetheless. He flicked a glance up at Adam and gave a crooked smile.

“You’re bigger.”

Adam snorted and cupped his hand over Todd’s. “I’m about ready to fucking explode.”

“Can’t have that,” Todd murmured, then he began a slow, tight rhythm that threatened to drive Adam out of his mind.

Adam bit his tongue to keep from demanding more—he wanted Todd to have this, to enjoy it as much or almost as much as Adam would—but ended up making the most embarrassing whimpering sound when he tried to keep from begging for harder, faster, please!

Instead he hefted a leg up and grabbed the back of Todd’s head. He brought his lips to Todd’s and kissed him with all the desperation that was coursing through him.

Todd moaned into the kiss and his hand stilled for a second. Adam grunted and jerked his hips, and Todd blew Adam’s mind with a sharp twist of the wrist. Adam threw his head back and it took every last shred of control he had not to bellow as he came, shaking and panting, curling his fingers as he held tight to Todd.

“Ah,” Todd sighed, as if he’d just found completion while he rubbed Adam’s cum over

his dick. Todd made the sound again, then Adam was tugged forwards and slammed against Todd’s body as Todd held him.

And Adam held him in return, and tried not to worry about what would happen next.

Todd obviously had some very, very bad shit happening in his life, and Adam would have to think about that, about being involved with a man who still— But not right now, not when Todd was holding him, shivering in his arms and sounding suspiciously like he might be crying. Adam would wait to worry and contemplate the risks he was taking, wait to examine facts that were very disturbing, frightening, even.

Right now he just wanted this time with Todd, and he’d take it before he let himself freak the hell out later.

Todd’s life had been dramatically altered in those few moments he and Adam had shared—then Jade had banged on the surgery room door. She’d scared ten years off him and Adam, too, judging by the way Adam had actually jumped and squeaked like a mouse. It was cute, but they’d had to part too quickly, no time for more than a ‘See ya’ when Jade told Adam there was an emergency coming in.

Todd didn’t even realise he’d made it outside to his vehicle until he was standing right there by it. He’d been too busy trying to sort out what he felt—hard to do when every single second he’d just spent with Adam kept slamming around inside his head. He couldn’t concentrate on a single thing. One second he’d see Adam down there on his knees, and the next he was kissing Adam, touching him—

Well, he needed to get his crap together before he drove himself off a cliff. Todd snorted. He’d have to drive a hell of a long way to find a cliff. This part of Texas was on the flat side. Todd shook his head and got in his car. He saw Sheriff Kaufman go by and a chill raced down his spine. Had the sheriff seen him? Why hadn’t Todd thought to park around back? What excuse could he use if confronted about being here?

Todd kept his foot on the brake as he banged his head against the steering wheel. Jesus, he was an adult, not a kid! Had been for years, and he couldn’t even keep himself from panicking at the idea of being seen here?

He was pathetic, that was what he was. Maybe his parents were right. He didn’t have

much of a backbone, had no ambitions, really—it didn’t matter that he’d been too scared to dream for himself when he’d been younger. Now he didn’t know how to.

Why would Adam want someone like him? Surely he deserved better than a screwed-up moron who was still a punching bag for his old man. Adam… Adam had probably just felt sorry for him. Really, why else would he have touched Todd?

Don’t go putting words in the man’s mouth. You don’t know why he did anything, so don’t go thinking you do! Todd lifted his head up and checked for traffic, then pulled out and headed towards his place. He kind of liked that little voice that had just harped at him, because it was right. He didn’t know why Adam had done what he’d done, and he wouldn’t until they could talk. It’d be plumb stupid to go jumping fences blind and not knowing what was on the other side. Any cowboy knew better than that.

Todd realised, once he’d got home, that he’d forgotten to pass along Gabe’s message.

Not yet ready to talk to Adam, and figuring he was probably still busy with whatever emergency had been on its way in, Todd settled for leaving him a message. Then he

showered and called Gabe, and his concerns for his own sorry state were dampened because Gabe sounded…off, somehow. Todd would make it a point to go out and check on him as soon as possible.

It was like someone had dumped crack in the town’s water supply. Todd had been so

busy, he’d actually worked a couple of double shifts. He hadn’t heard from Adam, but, then again, he hadn’t called Adam either. Or stopped in.

Until today, and what a surprise that’d been. First Gabe, with a…a boyfriend he

claimed to have known for a while—which was really suspicious to Todd, but what did he know? Still, he thought Gabe had probably met him in one of those chat rooms or something.

No way had Gabe known the guy for long, at all. Todd was going to do some digging on that Mika character.

Adam had looked at Mika. Looked at him, like…like that! Todd had checked the guy out, too, though… But he was being stupid, and he knew it. The weird vibe between him and Adam had been strong and scary and Todd hadn’t known what to do to make things right.

He hadn’t deliberately ignored Adam—he’d been busy as hell. What was Adam’s excuse?

No judging, Todd scolded himself. That was how people made total idiots of

themselves. And his parents were so judgemental, he didn’t want to be like them at all. But Todd hadn’t got the chance to talk to Adam alone at the clinic. It’d been obvious Gabe and…and Mika were going to be there for a while, and Todd was on his shift. And he

wanted to do some checking on Mika, if he could, without Kaufman getting wind of it. He and Adam needed to talk, though, soon. It seemed clear to Todd that Adam thought he’d just dissed him, which hadn’t been the case. Todd was willing to give Adam the benefit of the doubt for not calling him, so he sure wished Adam would do the same.

And there he was, deciding he knew what Adam was thinking, in a way. Well, he didn’t. For all he knew, Adam could have been just as busy, or he could have had company or something. Todd thought he had his head on straight by the time he finally got off shift.

There was nothing for it. He and Adam needed to talk, and they needed to do it soon. He was working himself up to do it tonight, to just go over to Adam’s place, knock on the door and lay everything out. All of his fears, his desires, what he hoped they could have—

Except his plans were shot right to hell when he saw his father’s car in the driveway.

Todd groaned. How could he have forgotten? It was Bible study night, which really meant it was yell and condemn Todd to hell night. The only time his old man cracked open the Bible was if he slammed it against some part of Todd’s anatomy.

Todd took a steadying breath. Normally he felt resigned to his father’s treatment of him, same as he did to his mother’s, but, tonight, he just… He didn’t want to be that person anymore. The one with no backbone. The one who was ashamed, so ashamed he didn’t want to cause a fuss and expose his dirty secret—that he was an adult fully grown and still abused.

No, Todd wanted it to stop. He wanted to not be afraid, and he wanted… Well, he wanted to deserve Adam. How could he do that when he couldn’t even stand up for himself?

He could stand up for Gabe, and for Adam, but what did it say about him, about what he thought of himself, that he kept letting this happen?

His father had a key to his place, given to him by Todd’s landlord, Mr Hanks. That was what he got for renting from a member of his father’s congregation. He shouldn’t have agreed to move here in the first place, should have stood up and—

“No, I’m not doing that.” Todd wouldn’t start with the should have, could have, would have crap, that never was good for anyone. He’d been weak, scared, conditioned even to be those things before, but now he was beginning to see that he didn’t have to tolerate being treated like he was vile.

He didn’t have to settle for borderline hatred when there were people in this world who might actually be capable of caring for him.

Tonight was the last night he was going to come home and find his father in his

apartment. Todd was going to ask for the key back, and tell his old man to leave. If that didn’t work, Todd would leave and return later to change his locks. He didn’t expect it to be a peaceful confrontation. In fact, he was pretty sure he was going to be hurting come morning, but he hoped, he hoped, he could hold onto his own anger without giving in to the same violence that drove his father. Todd wanted to make a stand, not become a cruel, abusive person.

After parking beside the other car so as not to block his old man in, Todd shut off the engine and got out of his vehicle. Todd forced himself to move, to walk to his own door. It wasn’t locked, and though it was always quiet when he got home, this time it seemed

unnervingly so. Todd went inside and shut the door. His father stood in the living room, a grim expression in place. The old, thick Bible Todd had felt bruising his skin was held in his father’s right hand.

“You missed church last week, every service. How does that look to people, when the

preacher’s own son can’t be bothered to show respect to God and family?” His father raised the Bible and thumbed the pages. Todd’s throat ached with the need to start stammering apologies, but he wouldn’t. Not anymore. “You have nothing to say, Todd? I’ve heard you’ve been disrespectful to Sheriff Kaufman.” He narrowed his eyes and Todd felt his look like a slap to his cheek. “And now, you’re carrying pride like it’s something that will save you. It won’t. The only thing that will save you is—”

“G-get out,” Todd rasped, pushing the words up past numb lips. “I want my key back. I want you to leave…l-leave me alone.” He managed enough saliva to swallow and at the

same time felt sweat bead his brow and his palms turn clammy. Fear gnawed at his gut but Todd refused to give in to it. “You can’t k-keep showing up and hitting me when you feel like it. I’m a grown man—”

“You’re my son,” his father snapped, striding up to him. Todd’s insides went cold at the look on his father’s face. He’d never seen him so angry. “You’re mine and if you can’t be good for anything else, you will at least not embarrass me!”

Todd couldn’t stop himself from taking a half-step back. He realised his mistake

immediately. Now he was up against the door, with nowhere to run. But I shouldn’t have to run, not in my own home. Not ever, not from him.

“I want you to leave,” he repeated, voice dry and breaking. “Give me back my key, and don’t come here anymore. I want—”

“I don’t care one whit about what you want, boy,” his father growled. “You will show me respect!”

Todd threw his arm up as soon as he saw the glint in his father’s eyes that was so

familiar to him. Still, the impact of the Bible slamming against his forearm hurt, but not as bad as the fist his father pummeled his ribs with. Todd coughed, his breath bursting up from his lungs. Another punch to his stomach and he groaned, hunching in on himself, trying to cover as much of his body as he could.

“Leave,” he rasped every chance he got.

His father only hit him harder, no more accusations, his judgement solely meted out

with his fists.

Todd had the sickening thought of what Adam would do if he saw him now, cowering

like a kicked dog. Was that what he was? Todd grunted and the next hit pissed him off more than it hurt.

“Stop it,” he growled, slapping at his father’s hands. “Stop! No more!” Todd yelled it again, louder, angrier. Anger turned to fury and Todd bellowed as he shoved his father away. The urge to give back a taste of the pain he’d experienced, was experiencing now, was almost irresistible. Todd shook with it, but he curled his hands into fists and kept them planted by his side as his father panted and glared at him.

“You touch me again, and I ain’t holding back. You want respect, this is the only time you’re getting it.” Todd moved over enough to grab the door knob. “You can walk out of here or I can drag you out, but either way, you’re leaving, right now.”