Restoration of Love (9 page)

     “You miss her, don’t you?”

     Carlos did not respond, but simply picked up a pebble and tossed it at nothing in particular.

     “Carlos, sometimes as mothers wanting to protect our sons, we can go to far. I’m afraid that is what I have done.”

     “What do you mean, Ma?” he said, looking at her.

     “Carlos, when your friend came here on Thanksgiving, I took it upon myself to speak to her. I just wanted to open her eyes to the reality of what you two were doing. Sure, the excitement for both of you might be there right now because it is new. But, what about six months from now when it is not so new? What about when dating a younger man is not so thrilling to her anymore? What about when you start wanting the things she has already had in her life such as a family?

     “Momma, why would you talk like that to Nikki? I thought you liked her?

     “Carlos, I do like Nikki. I think she is a wonderful person, for someone her own age. Carlos, you are my son and I love you with all my heart. I would do anything to keep you from getting hurt. But, when I see you like this, I realize that you are already hurting and that it is my fault. I thought that I was doing what was best for you, but perhaps she is what’s best for you now. Carlos, can you ever forgive me?” she begged with tears in her eyes.

     Carlos looked at his mother. He was hurt and angry. She had no idea what she had done. She may very well have cost him a future with the woman he loved. But, he could not stay angry with his mother. She had done what she thought was right, no matter how wrong it was.

     “Momma,” he spoke softly, “Are you telling me that you would accept Nikki?

     “How could I not? You are so happy with her and so sad without her.”

     Carlos smiled, but then his happiness faded quickly when he thought about his argument with Nikki. He said sadly, “It doesn’t matter now anyway. I said some horrible things to her, Momma. I can’t take them back and she will never forgive me.”

     “Son, if you love this woman then you must not allow a few words said out of hurt to stop you from being with her. Go to her and convince her of your love.”

     Carlos sat silently for a few moments, and then rose from the steps. “Wish me luck,” he said, turning to leave.

     “I always do, my son. I always do.”

     “Oh, and Momma,” Carlos said, turning to look at her, “ I do forgive you.”

     All the way to Nikki’s house, Carlos tried to think of the words he would use once he got there. He knew he had said some very hurtful things to her. Words he would give anything to take back. But, just as he had convinced her to go out with him, he would convince her now of his love for her.

     When Carlos arrived at Nikki’s house, the car was not parked in the driveway as it usually was during the day. He walked around and peeked in the garage window, but it wasn’t there either. Why should it be? She was a single woman who no longer believed she had a man. She didn’t have to answer to anyone about where she was going. Carlos decided to sit in his car and wait for her. This was a conversation he knew he couldn’t have over the phone. Sitting there, he dozed off and awoke to Nikki tapping on the window.

     “Carlos, what are you doing here?”

      He opened the car door. “I need to talk to you.”

     “Didn’t you do enough talking the other day?” she asked quietly, “I don’t think there’s anything left to be said.”

     “Baby, please, I just need a few minutes. We can stand out here if you want, but please just let me talk to you.

     Nikki stood there, debating as to whether or not she wanted to let him come into the house. Finally, she relented. “Okay. Five minutes.”

     Once they were inside, Carlos sat on the couch and looked at Nikki with pleading eyes. He reached for her hand. “Baby, please sit down.” He resisted the urge to ask where she had been. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held it firmly in his grasp.

     “Nikki, my mother told me about the talk she had with you. She was out of line and I let her know it.”

     “She shouldn’t have told you, Carlos. She was only trying to protect you. I probably would have done the same thing for my son.”

     “But, baby, I’m a grown man. It is no longer necessary for her to try and protect me.”

      “Carlos, everything your mother said to me made sense. She is right,” Nikki said standing up. She could no longer look into his eyes because they penetrated her to her soul and distracted her from what she was trying to say. “I am old enough to know better. I do need to give you time to grow and see what else is out there for you and for your life.”

     “Nikki, baby, don’t you get it, girl? You are my life. Baby, I have lived a life and seen things most men my age have not even thought about.” Carlos stood to face Nikki. “ I’m tired of hanging with the guys because there is nothing else to do. I’m tired of going from woman to woman like they are the flavor of the month. Baby, only a fool wouldn’t recognize what I have with you and I’m no fool. Nikki, I want…no, I need you in my life. I need you more than I need sunshine.”

     Nikki said nothing, trying to take in all that Carlos was telling her. Tears started to form in his eyes and her heart hurt for him.

     “Nik, these last few weeks without seeing you, without holding you, without hearing your sweet voice on the phone, have been hell for me. I watch you sometimes when you think I’m not looking and I am in awe of what God has blessed me with. Nikki, don’t take that blessing away from me. Please, don’t take it away from
us
.”

   Now the tears were welling up in her eyes, also. She knew that the right thing to do would be to talk to someone, to pray for guidance, but at this moment all she wanted to do was to love this beautiful man who had poured out his soul to her and begged her not to leave him. Nikki held out her arms to Carlos and he gratefully went to her. They stood in an embrace for what seemed like an eternity, neither one wanting to let go. When they finally released each other, Carlos said,” Baby, I love you and if you give me just half a chance, I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”

     “I love you, too,” Nikki said, “So very much.”

     As the tears streamed down Nikki’s face, she marveled that after all this time, after all she had been through, someone was confessing his love, his want, his need for her and she was actually believing him. She no longer doubted that true love was possible for her. She looked up to heaven and silently thanked God that he had restored her hope and given her a chance to feel love once again.