Risking It All (35 page)

Black and white photos scattered over her bedspread as she spread them out around her. How could she have forgotten about them? She ran her fingers over the ones of just her and smiled at how beautifully they had been taken.

There were more of her and Memphis than she thought he had taken. She picked up one where he was kissing her shoulder, another where he was dragging her bra strap down her arm, one more of him kissing her stomach. There were so many sensual poses of them together, their body language showing everything that they had been too afraid to say to each other. Looking at them broke her heart all over again.

Kennedy searched through the pictures looking for a note from Memphis. She checked the envelope again, turning it upside down and shaking it, but there was nothing. Disappointment filled her; he couldn’t even be bothered to say something to her, not even on paper.

Reluctantly she put the pictures back into the envelope and stuffed it between the mattresses. She wanted nothing more than to display a few of them, frame them and hang them in her bedroom. Not the intimate ones of both of them, but the ones of only her were done very tastefully and deserved to be displayed, not stuffed away hidden.

But she couldn’t. Not until she did what she had to do.

A quick glance at the clock told her Brooks’s shift would be over in an hour. She grabbed her keys off the table and quickly shoved her feet in her shoes. She had a better chance of catching him at the hospital than she did waiting for him to go home.

She waited in her car until his shift was almost through and then went in, asking one of the nurses at the station to page him for her.

“Kennedy?”

She turned and smiled at Bridget, one of Brooks’s colleagues whom she had met a couple of times at various functions and parties.

“Hi.”

“We don’t see much of you around here anymore,” Bridget said, laying her chart on the station’s counter and returning her smile.

“Well, hanging out in hospitals isn’t really on my list of fun things to do,” Kennedy replied.

Bridget laughed and finished scribbling on the chart before handing it to a nurse.

“Are you waiting for Brooks?”

“Yeah. I’ve had him paged, but you know how he is.”

“He’s a great asset to the hospital for sure. We’ll be sad to see him go,” she said.

Kennedy narrowed her eyes at her, confused.

“Go?” she asked.

Bridget nodded.

“Yeah. To Montreal.” Bridget returned the same confused stare at Kennedy’s blank look. “You don’t know about Montreal?”

“What about it?”

Bridget hesitated, her eyes shifting away from Kennedy, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation now.

“What about Montreal, Bridget?” Kennedy pressed. 

“Brooks accepted a position there starting this summer after his contract is up here,” Bridget finally explained. “It’s been in the works for a while now. You mean to tell me he didn’t tell you any of this?”

Kennedy half-laughed and shook her head in disbelief.

“Un-fucking-believable,” she said to herself.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Brooks asked, approaching from behind her.

Kennedy turned and glared at him. “You’re moving to Montreal?” Brooks scowled at Bridget who quickly hurried away, throwing Kennedy an apologetic smile as she did. “You’re moving to Montreal?” she repeated a little louder this time. “When in the hell were you going to tell me?”

“Keep your voice down.” He grabbed her arm, pulling her into one of the doctors’ lounges.

She snatched her arm away from him once he shut the door, and crossed them over her chest.

“Well?” she asked.

“I wanted to tell you myself.”

“Well, it’s a little late for that. You’re really moving to Montreal?”

“Yes. I was offered a position there and accepted.” He acted like it was no big deal.

“When did you accept?” He shifted his eyes away, and something clicked in Kennedy’s mind. “Did you know when you asked me to marry you?”

Brooks hesitated and then finally nodded.

“Oh, my God.” She ran her hands through her hair, pulling on the roots, and shook her head as she turned her back on him. “It all makes perfect sense now. The questions about whether I like working with Ryder still, the sudden interest in my work.” She spun around. “The
trip
you wanted to take this year. You just forgot to mention it would be permanent.”

“Kennedy—”

“What did you think? That you’d ask me to marry you and then I’d
have
to come with you?”

“You’ll like Montreal, Kennedy. It’s a beautiful city.”

“Do you really think I’m going to uproot my life just for a beautiful city?” she cried. “When were you going to tell me about this?”

“I was going to tell you this weekend. I need to be there in eight weeks.”

“
This
weekend? You thought it would be okay to spring this on me eight weeks before you have to leave? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Enough!” he shouted. “I get that you’re angry, but that’s no reason to act like a bitch to me.” He took a deep breath to calm himself and tried again. “I thought once you were there you’d fall in love with the city as much as I did.”

“And if I didn’t?”

“You said you’d marry me, Kennedy. I assumed that meant you knew what you were getting yourself into. I have to be where I’m needed.”

“What about where I’m needed? My life is here. My career. My friends. My family. You think I should just give all that up because it’s what you want?”

“You can be an artist anywhere. You rarely speak to your parents, and friends can visit. I know it’ll be a big change, Kennedy, but it’s what we need.”

“No. It’s what you need, apparently. I’m perfectly happy with my life here. I don’t want to move!”

He took a step closer to her, and she took one back.

“Just come with me to see what I’m talking about, Kennedy. I promise you’ll love it.”

She shook her head and stared at him, completely bewildered by his denseness. 

“You don’t get it, do you?” She crossed her arms and looked away, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. She refused to break down. 

“I’m doing this for us, Kennedy.”

“No. You’re doing this for
you.
As usual, it’s all about you. You made this decision all on your own. That’s not how it works when you ask someone to marry you, Ian. Marriage is a partnership.”

“You never call me Ian,” he said, a little surprised.

Kennedy shook her head and sank to one of the couches.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She looked down at her hands and inhaled deeply. “I slept with Memphis.”

The silence in the room was deafening.

“You slept . . . with Memphis?” he finally managed to spit out.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“In Alaska.”

He was quiet again and then asked, “Once?”

Kennedy shook her head. “No. More than once.”

Brooks laughed sharply, and she looked up at him.

“All this time you reassured me that nothing ever did—or ever would—happen between the two of you, you’ve been fucking him behind my back. I don’t know why I’m surprised, really. I knew something was off when you got back. I even asked you!” he shouted.

“I know.”

“This explains a lot, especially why you haven’t let me touch you in months,” he said bitterly. “Why did you say you’d marry me if you’ve been screwing around with Memphis this entire time?”

“I haven’t been screwing around with him this entire time,” she said. “It only happened once since we got back.”

“Once?” he scoffed. “I’m so impressed with your restraint. That makes everything better.” He glared at her and then asked, “Where?”

Her cheeks warmed at the question, and she shook her head. “Doesn’t matter.” 

“I think I have a right to know.”

Kennedy hesitated.

“Well?”

“The night we went to The Vine.”

“You saw him before I picked you up?”

Kennedy shifted her eyes away.

“Not exactly.”

“What does that mean? When did it happen, then?” 

“At the restaurant,” she said, uncomfortable.

“Jesus Christ, Kennedy,” he spat. He pounded his fist on the wall, and she jumped. “Your actions make you no better than a common whore!”

“What do you expect, Ian?” she shouted back, jumping to her feet. “You practically pushed me into his arms. You’re never fucking there for me! I’m tired of never coming first. I’m sick to death of defending your selfishness to every goddamn person and trying to convince myself that you do really love me. Memphis makes me feel like I’m important. I don’t have to question what I am to him. He shows me!”

Brooks sneered.

“Oh, I’m sure he showed you, all right.”

She wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but she took off the ring and dropped it onto the table. “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not sorry for what happened with Memphis. I shouldn’t have agreed to marry you when my heart wasn’t in it, but you shouldn’t have asked me when you knew it came with conditions I would never agree to.”

“So that’s it?” he asked, staring at where she had placed the ring. “You’re just done and walking away?”

“I was done a long time ago and should have walked away then,” she replied. “I hope you’re happy in Montreal, Brooks.”

As she walked past him and out the door, she felt like she could breathe for the first time in months. She had her life back in control; she no longer had to pretend to be someone she wasn’t.

And it felt good.

~*~

“That’s the last of it,” Joe called as he loaded the last box into the U-Haul and slammed the door closed. “You’re ready to go, kiddo.”

“I can’t believe you bought a house!” Vanessa bounced Samara on her hip playfully. “You’re all grown up.”

Kennedy laughed. “No, you can’t believe I bought a house just down the street from you.”

“That, too, Miss I’ll-Never-Leave-the-Heart-of-the-City.”

Kennedy shrugged. “Everyone needs a little change. I was tired of wasting money on rent for the apartment and the studio. And that house was a steal!”

“I know, right? Helps to know someone who works in realty, doesn’t it?” She winked at Joe.

“Do you want me to drive the truck?” he asked, casting a sideways glance at his wife.

“Please! I’m not all that confident in my driving to do it,” Kennedy said, handing over the keys.

“Okay. So you go on ahead and open everything up, and we’ll meet you there.”

“Great!” Kennedy clapped her hands, kissed Samara’s cheek, and jumped into her car.

It was hard to believe it had only been five months since she had broken up with Brooks and taken her life back again. She was living the way she wanted to live, doing the things she wanted to do, and loving every minute.

She and Vanessa had taken a week-long trip to New York for a girls’ only getaway three months earlier. Vanessa had wanted to wait until Samara was six months old before she was comfortable being away for that long. It had been an amazing experience, and once they returned, Kennedy was ready to make another big change in her life.

She’d enlisted Joe’s help in finding her a house, and he had worked his magic and come through for her with the little gem she was about to move into. She had been anxiously waiting for moving day and felt like screaming at the top of her lungs that it was finally time.

Her art was selling successfully, and she had another show scheduled in three weeks. Alec had been back and forth between Vancouver and Alaska a few times, and he had insisted on flying down for the show. They had spent some time together during his visits, but despite knowing he wouldn’t mind having more with her, she just wasn’t ready to be with anyone.

Her heart still belonged to someone else, and she feared it always would.

She hadn’t spoken to Memphis in nine long months. The hole left by his absence closed a little more every day, but she still missed him like crazy. Vanessa had tried to get her to call him countless times, but it just didn’t feel right for her to make that move. He was the one who ended their friendship, and as much as she wanted to call and beg him to forgive her, she wasn’t going to. Especially not since she had ended things with Brooks. It would only confirm his accusations.

Kennedy tried to push the thoughts of Memphis out of her mind for the day. She didn’t want to dampen her good mood, and she refused to bring bad Karma into her new home by moving in feeling depressed.

She parked on the street so Joe could back into the driveway and make unloading easier. She practically skipped up her steps, and beamed as she unlocked the front door and stepped into her house.

She quickly checked the place to make sure nothing of the previous owners’ had been left behind. When everything looked to be in place, she went back to her car and started unloading her luggage. Six trips later she had everything that belonged in the bedroom stashed away and was placing a box marked “bathroom” when she heard the front door open.

“Joe?”

His reply was muffled, but she was pretty sure she heard him say, “Yeah.”

“Everything’s marked where it goes,” she called to him. “All the art supplies can just be put in the spare room.”

She left the box on the bathroom counter and went in search of Joe. She thought she heard him in the kitchen, but when she peeked in, the box was there, but Joe wasn’t.

“And Kennedy moves to the ’burbs.” She froze as she heard his voice behind her. “Never thought I’d see the day that would happen.”

Slowly she turned around, and her eyes instantly filled with tears at the sight of Memphis standing there. His hair was a little longer and his jaw had a pretty good five o’clock shadow covering it, but it was really him. Black leather jacket, ripped jeans, biker boots, and all. Memphis was standing in front of her after nine months, smiling at her like nothing had ever happened between them.

“Memphis,” she whispered, her voice pitchy from the tears she tried desperately to hold back.

“Oh, Christ, woman, don’t cry,” he groaned playfully and grinned wider. “Come here.”

Every fiber in her body screamed at her to fling herself in his arms and never let go. But she didn’t. She didn’t move an inch. She stood there, staring at him until finally he lowered his arms and gave a sad sort of nod, as if he understood her hesitation.