Robyn Donald – Iceberg (26 page)

didn't contest the will, Justin.'

For a moment his tips tightened, then he nodded. 'I should have known, I suppose. No one could have looked at

me with such fearless honesty and been underhanded. As it happens, I'm not sure you aren't entitled to your

share, anyway.'

'I don't want anything,' she declared swiftly, while her heart gang with the knowledge that he had learned to love

her in spite of Bronwyn's lie.

'No, it's not necessary. He smiled, turning his head to the soft part of her wrist where a pulse throbbed

invitingly.

'I knew that Bronwyn had summed me up as a prospective husband, of course, and to be quite honest I was half

inclined to see things her way. Since Alison died I'd been careful not to let emotions ever enter into any

relationships I'd formed; Bronwyn was ideal in almost every respect except that Sarah didn't like her.' His hand

tightened painfully across her back for a moment, then relaxed to resume its slow sensuous stroking of her skin.

'I .no longer believed in love, so a sensible marriage was in order, but I knew damned well that it would be far

from sensible to marry her and hope for the best. Unfortunately, by the time Sarah's dislike became clear

Bronwyn was a fixture. And your arrival on the scene queered things even more.' .

'Why? Because Sarah liked me?'

'Partly.' With deliberation he held her away from him, his expression changing to encompass a hunger which

frightened as much as it exhilarated her.

Never in her life had she dreamed that any man would search her face with such brooding intensity, that Justin

of all people would tremble with a desire he could barely suppress! The strength of his emotions invoked-a

response which widened her eyes, brought a flush to her skin. Beneath her fingers she could feel the muted

thudding of his heart, the tightly reined passion which he refused to unleash.

Her breath came sharply as she whispered his name, only to find herself forcibly turned away.

'Don't look at me like that,’ he Said harshly thrusting his hands into his pockets as he leaned back against the

balustrade. 'You're too beautiful—and I've waited for you too long.'

She
had to smile at this. 'Darling, my mother is certain to say we haven't known each other for long enough!’

'All my life?' He smiled, the mockery back but this time without any intent to hurt. 'That's how long I've waited.'

'Oh—
Justin!
Turning, she rested her head against his shoulder and hugged him fiercely to her, her voice

muffled as she said, ‘That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.. Justin, I do love you, with all my heart.’

She could feel the fists his clenched hands made within his pockets as he answered, 'I wish I could come to you

without the fiasco of my first marriage to mar things for you—or the fact that J was involved with Bronwyn.'

His shirt' was of very fine cotton, smooth and pleasant against her skin. Linnet searched for the right words,

then said honestly, 'I love Sarah, so I can't regret your first marriage, even though I was jealous of Alison. I

didn't know anything about her except that you'd loved her, and I wanted so much for you to love me. And I

knew you didn't love Bronwyn---she said as much herself. Darling, you say you love me—that's like a miracle. I

don't care about anything else!'

She must have convinced him, for she could feel
the
tension ease away from his body. After a moment his

hands found her shoulders, held her against him as he murmured endearments against her mouth as
if
she had

given him a gift beyond price, as if he had never known what it was to love; he was almost hesitant, and the last

ache of jealousy in Linnet's heart dissolved, washed away by the knowledge that for him this, too, was new and

uncharted territory.

For a long time they stood quietly, passion checked, completely happy in their love, until at last he stirred.

'Dearest love, it's time we left. Your mother will be here at nine o'clock tonight, and we'd better be there in time

to meet her.'

‘Oh dear!'

Linnet-looked so woeful that he laughed-softly and kissed her with a restrained impatience which revealed just

how much he held himself in check. There will be other times, darling.'

'I know.' She looked around with eyes which gilded everything they saw with the shining aura of her love.

'Justin, what made you decide to tell
me
—today—that you loved me? I didn't know. You were so—so
distant

with me!'

'If you knew how difficult it's been to keep my hands off you,' he answered grimly. 'Right from that first day—

but especially after I'd delivered you to Kawau and kissed you. You fitted into my arms so satisfactorily, I knew

I had to have you. But I didn't realise it was love and I blew it. Then when I found you in the kitchen there, and

you responded so ardently, I acted like a clumsy kid in the throes of his first love affair and tried to seduce you.'

'Why?' she asked softly, remembering the pain and shame her open response to his lovemaking had caused her.

Shrugging, his deep tones even, he said, 'Because "1 wanted to punish you by reducing what had happened

between us to its crudest ingredient, simple passion. I'd lost control, and refused to accept that my feelings for

you were something far more earth-shaking than the greedy desire I'd thought was love.' He smiled thinly at the

shock in her expression. 'Darling, I can be as illogical as any man caught in something bigger than he is. After

I'd left you that, night I sat on the edge of my bed and faced some pretty unpalatable facts. I'd known from the

start that J wanted you, what I discovered then was that because of my own suspicion and my refusal to admit

the difference between lust and love, I'd got things into an almighty tangle. But I knew I loved you, and I was

almost certain that you loved me, that you'd got over that childish infatuation for your stepfather.'

Shaken by the depth of feeling in his usually impassive voice, Linnet laid her cheek against his hand. 'How did

you know that?' she asked, trying to ignore the soft rhythm of his fingers against her skin.

'I loved you so much, I couldn't believe you were different. And your response to me was swift and very sweet,

as if you'd been waiting for me to touch you. So I -decided you would have to marry me.'

'And you used despicable methods to force me to!'

'Yes.' He sounded sombre, but after a moment went on, his lips against her forehead, 'I'm sorry if I spoiled

things for you. I didn't intend to use Sarah, but when you refused me I was desperate. After that I daren't risk a

rebuff; if I'd told you I loved you and you'd said you felt nothing like that for me I'd have had to let you go.

When Cherry said------'

'Cherry? What did Cherry say?'

'Merely that If I didn't tell you how I felt I had only myself to blame if you thought that I was marrying a mother

for Sarah.'

'How did she know?' Linnet breathed. 'She told me you loved me.’

He shrugged. 'She's a very astute lady, thank God, and I'll be grateful always for her advice today. But even

Anna knew. She was fully prepared to dislike you at first; she hadn't much time for Bronwyn. Then you won

her heart with your laughter and your honesty and your, kindness ... Dear heart, I’ll never be able to tell you

how much I love you.' His hands cupped her face, turned it up toward! his, his expression of such devouring

intensity that she felt a weakness which was submerged instantly by her desire to make him as happy as he had

made her.

'I do love you,' she responded swiftly, pressing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. 'What I felt for David was a—

a kind of preparation for this, I suppose, affection and respect, but there was nothing—
nothing
like the response

you forced from me.' Her colour .rose, but she disregarded it, impelled by a need to convince him of her

feelings. 'When you touch me I feel as though I'm drowning in a tide of sensation and I want more than

anything to ... to ...' she stumbled, but went on bravely, 'I want you too, Justin. I didn't know it was possible to

ache for anyone as I've ached for you.'

He laughed then, softly, victoriously, and lifted her in his arms as his mouth explored the sweetness and

promise of hers. Almost lost in the matchless rapture of his love, she thought momentarily of Sarah, who would

at last have the family she had yearned for. Then she gave herself entirely up to the exultant fierceness of

Justin's hands and mouth; gone was the pain and the misunderstanding and me dislike which had had to be

whipped up to hide a greater emotion. Ahead lay the future, fair and full of hope, but at the moment it was the

present only which mattered. And that was paradise enough.