Rock My Heart (18 page)

“I just want you to know that I chewed him out and although you are still planning to be our maid of honor, Paul will be my best man. I realize he’s married to Jerrica and she will also be a bridesmaid…I hope this won’t be an issue for you.”

“Of course not. I am honored to participate in your wedding.”

“I’m glad you haven’t changed your mind.” Syd’s voice hesitated as Kaz unlocked his arms from around her waist and repositioned himself so that he stood right next to her. “Jaden has made a huge mistake and I can only hope one day he will realize what he is sacrificing to be with Faith. Just know that you have friends here and although you have a busy schedule of your own, we hope to see you before the wedding.”

Talia’s pale green eyes warmed significantly as she smiled. “You two are something else, you know that? I could only be happier if I was planning my own wedding. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to me. I don’t scare easily and although Jaden and I are no longer a couple, we still have a son together and I will grant him limited access. Even after all he’s done to me, I still love him with every fiber in my being. There will never be another man like him in my life but I won’t allow him to destroy everything I have built.

“I would give anything for us to be together and a family—like you two—but he isn’t willing to make the sacrifice and I can’t make him. This party isn’t about the two of us anyway. It’s about you two and all the hardships you have suffered through yet you found your way back to one another and I can’t give up hope that won’t happen between Jaden and I. He talks a good game but…he’s a gentle soul who, unfortunately, has fallen under the spell of an extremely manipulative woman. They have a history we don’t but I still hold the trump card. I have his child and there is no stronger bond than a father and his son. Faith can’t break that.”

Kaz looked at Syd before he stared again at Talia and knew she spoke the truth. “No, she can’t.”

The young woman finished her drink. “I can see you two have a lot to talk about so I’ll give you some peace and quiet. There are plenty of people at this party I want to mingle with before I leave for L.A. tomorrow.”

They watched together as she walked away and Syd turned his way. “I can’t believe he did that to her…if you had turned your back on me like that, I don’t know what I would have done.”

Kaz held Syd close as he pulled her into his warm embrace again but this time they were face to face. He loved her and she would always hold a special place in his heart. She was the mother of his child and the one woman he’d given his heart, mind, body and soul to completely and unselfishly. She owned every part of him the same way he knew he claimed every part of her.

Cillian may have had her body but he would never know the real Sydney and that granted him a modicum of peace. It was never easy accepting something as unsavory as a partner who slept with another man but it didn’t mean he couldn’t forgive even if he would never forget.

That, to Kaz, was true love, and he would never let that feeling go.

Ever.

“Tal’s right. We have a lot to talk about ourselves and a lot of lost time to make up for so if you’re ready, I would really like to go home. What about you?”

She reached over and kissed his lips softly before one of her slender hands traced his strong jaw. “I can’t think of anything else I would rather do.”

He slipped his hand in hers and less than fifteen minutes later, they left the party with their son and nanny hustled in the back of the brand new silver Cadillac Escalade he’d recently purchased.

All he wanted to do was finally make love to her and he couldn’t think of a better moment than that night.

Chapter Seventeen

I’ll Make Love To You

I COULDN’T WAIT to get home.

We were staying at Kaz’s elaborate home in Lake Las Vegas for the time being and the fire he’d started in my loins from a single touch had my whole body wrapped in a blazing inferno of want and desire.

I hadn’t had sex in over four months. The last occasion had been with Cillian when he’d breezed through L.A. and though I’d been heavily pregnant at the time, it didn’t seem to bother him. I’d still made him wear a condom that last time because I had no idea what he’d been doing and with whom; he hadn’t been pleased but he obliged all the same.

After the birth of Baby Kaz, I hadn’t felt very sexual and therefore it didn’t bother me…until now. It was something about the way Kaz had touched me at the party that sent shivers down my spine. It was different and more urgent yet incredibly affectionate and I couldn’t wait to have him inside me once again.

We didn’t talk during the ride home due to our Irish nanny, Mairéad, and the baby sitting in the back seat but we did hold hands while he drove one-handed and glanced at me every now and then.

The weather was cold in Vegas and the heater was turned on but I didn’t need it because I felt like I was already on fire. My body burned like I had a temperature but it was only from the expectation that soon I would be in Kaz’s bed once again and the anticipation I’d felt about our upcoming nuptials.

Kaz wanted a firm date and so did I. The 30
^th
of December made perfect sense because all of our friends would be in Vegas anyway since they planned to celebrate the New Year here and the ones who didn’t live here planned to make an appearance then.

Now that Jaden was no longer the best man, I didn’t have to worry about seeing him or my former best friend and her miserable face. The way she’d acted this whole year had been deplorable as far as I was concerned and those months at Promises had been an utter complete waste of time because she was still a junkie and it would only be a matter of time before Jaden fell off the wagon and joined her—Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain style.

I knew this hurt Kaz deeply but what could he do except cut his brother out of his life, despite them still being in the same band. They’d all signed the contract so it wasn’t as simple as making him leave the group. Technically, he hadn’t done anything wrong yet other than morally speaking and none of us would dare throw stones when we all lived in glass houses.

Kaz hadn’t exactly been an angel since he’d been seeing Faith sexually for old times’ sake when we had been on our “hiatus” as I I’d liked to think our time apart was, though we’d actually broken up, due to my raging hormones.

I’d been with Cillian more than just a few times and the last time we’d met up, he told me it would his last since he was going through an acrimonious divorce and on the verge of patching things up with Gisela, his ex-girlfriend, first love and the lead defense attorney on his case. They couldn’t come out until the trial was through but there had been so many delays, it could drag on for another few months until the jury received it to make a decision whether or not Cillian was guilty or not guilty of the charges brought against him.

I knew what I was getting involved in when I’d said yes to Kaz. He still hadn’t told me his whole story but I didn’t want him to disclose anything to me until he was completely ready. It simply wasn’t fair on my part to demand anything when I was far from perfect and had contributed more than my fair share of mistakes where our relationship was concerned.

However, tonight wasn’t about the past or the future but our immediate present. We needed to bond again and feel one another from the inside out so we could appreciate what our relationship really meant in the scheme of our lives.

I loved him. So much it felt like daggers to my heart sometimes but there would never be another man who would ever mean as much to me as Kaz did. He was the person meant for me and although I didn’t believe in soul mates, we were certainly the closest thing to anything of the sort that actually existed.

Finally, we pulled up to Kaz’s McMansion in Lake Las Vegas and even I had to admit it was a breathtaking view. It was a gorgeous, two story, four thousand square foot home the color of sand with a tiled roof, both an upstairs balcony that led out from the master bedroom and a huge backyard, which was a mixture of desert landscaping and traditional, complete with grassy area, desert bushes and a gorgeous pool/Jacuzzi combination that was a-typically shaped but fit with the rest of the home.

By the time we all walked inside from the spacious garage, which also stored a black Porsche Cayenne and Porsche Cayman—naturally the color of scarlet—I was overwhelmed and giddy with anticipation.

The whole property was discreetly gated with the same sand colored walls as the home itself and the moment we entered, Kaz turned the alarm system off before he armed it again once everyone was inside the home.

The sitting room was large with high ceilings and the whole place had an airy, open feel with all the glass and chrome throughout the house. There was an L-shaped sofa the color of midnight gray and a large Persian rug in the sitting room while the floor itself was large, sand-colored marble tiles shipped from France. A guest bedroom, located on the first floor was completely furnished should we have any guests; Talia had already claimed it for herself when she came back to Vegas for the wedding.

The kitchen was completely chrome and glass with sandstone marble countertops and a large, inbuilt fridge, a completely separate dining room area with a large, cherry wood dinner table that seated eight people.

There was also a wine cellar, a separate living room area upstairs with its own set of chairs and a wet bar along with a master bedroom and three additional, large-sized bedrooms. Both Baby Kaz and Xander’s rooms were fully decorated and the nanny on call—Mairéad—had a room of her own.

Kaz took me on a tour of the house though all I wanted to do was tear his clothes off. By the time we got to the bedroom, I looked around in complete awe because it was incredibly unisexual and very well laid out. He’d already had a portion of my clothes and shoes shipped in, and they neatly hung in my own closet. There was also a his and her bathrooms, and a large California King bed dominated the central part of the bedroom. It was decorated with desert colors, lots of throw pillows and chocolate brown silk sheets.

“This house is absolutely beautiful…but is it child friendly?” I teased him as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed my body closer to his.

“Not yet but Damira is being a bitch about Xander visiting so I have some time before we have to worry. Kasper won’t be crawling for a while.” He kissed the side of my forehead as his fingers played with loose strands of my hair. “Why the hell would you name our son after me? The name isn’t exactly all that ‘cool’ sounding and don’t you want him to have his own identity?”

I stared into his gorgeous aquamarine eyes and whispered, “He’ll always have his own identity but…I just wanted to make sure if things hadn’t worked out between us, I had a Kaz all of my own. I don’t mean so I could be co-dependent on our son but…I couldn’t lose all of you, and if he was the only part of you I would have been allowed to keep, it would’ve been hard but I’d have survived…somehow.”

“That is really beautiful. I’m so sorry we were ever separated to begin with and if I hadn’t been such a dick, it never would have happened.”

“It’s in the past…let’s move forward and stop worrying about issues we can’t change. I love you and you love me. That’s what matters, not what
might
have happened.”

Kaz grabbed a hold of my ass before he kissed me and my whole body heated up as I felt a sexual spasm between my legs. The way he held me had me pressed against his healthy erection and I moaned into his mouth as his tongue found mine and claimed it as its own. He slowly pushed me backwards until we’d reach the bed and I fell back. Luckily, the bed was there to comfort my fall but it left me vulnerable as he slid my dress up until it was around my waist. I didn’t wear anything other than a pair of thigh highs and the smallest La Perla thong.

He tore the thong to expose me to him and his eyes were so gorgeous, beautiful pools of blue and green, vulnerable yet sexual as he got down on his knees and spread my legs wide. The moment his tongue assaulted my clit, I breathed in deeply and held my breath. I forgot how good he was when it came to oral sex and his hot mouth claimed me with suckles and long strokes from an organ made for sin.

I couldn’t even pretend it would take him long to get me off, especially when he inserted two fingers inside me and stroked my G-spot. I couldn’t help but thrash my head from side to side as my hips took on a life of their and bucked against his mouth. My whole vaginal muscles squeezed around his fingers and as his tongue continued to stroke my clit as if he were licking an ice cream cone, I came in a series of strong spasms that left me disoriented from the feeling of absolute sexual release.

I sat up with the help of shaky arms that felt like jelly as I grabbed him by his chest and kissed him deeply, tasting myself on his tongue and in his mouth.

“Fuck me,” I pleaded when we came up for air in between kisses.

“With pleasure,” he murmured as I began to undo his jeans before he finished taking them off.

I helped him out of his of t-shirt before he unzipped my dress from the back and slid it slowly off my body. I didn’t want any clothing between us and neither did he. We needed to be with one another, skin against skin. I needed to feel every inch of his hard body pressed against mine. I wanted his calloused fingers to pinch my sensitive flesh and I had to feel every gorgeous inch of him enter my body.

Kaz lifted me up and made sure I was planted firmly on the bed before he spread my legs and fit himself between me. I clutched his ass cheeks with greedy hands as he guided himself into my depths and I almost came again on the spot. I was so wet and ready for him, he slid inside me without any resistance what so ever.

His thrusts were slow and tortuous, grounding his cock inside me and I met his movements in complete tandem. Our bodies were soon slick with sweat and I wrapped my arms around his neck as my legs gripped around his waist. My vaginal muscles gripped his cock like a vice and the feeling of him inside me, pumping in and out of me pushing me further towards the precipice.

Kaz flipped us over and I was on top of him. I looked down at him and ground my hips into his pelvis so every inch of him was inside me and his eyes rolled into the back of his head with ecstasy.

“You like that?” I whispered as I bucked my hips and followed his own movements while he gripped me by the waist to slow me down.

“Fuck, babe. You keep doin’ that and you’re gonna make me come before I’m ready.”

“Oh, we don’t want that, now do we?” I arched one of my perfect eyebrows and climbed from on top of him before I settled between his spread thighs, my legs tucked neatly under my ass.