Rock My Heart (22 page)

“Will do. Love you, babe.”

“Love you, sweetheart.”

I watched him walk out and close the double doors behind him. I had no idea but the thought of him leaving made me want to curl up into a ball and cry. Since when had I been so dick-whipped over one man?

Simple, it was the first and only time.

There was just something about Kaz I loved so much and this time, no matter what shit we had to work through, I wouldn’t let go and I sure as hell wouldn’t push him into another bitch’s arms again, especially my former best friend and now known skank, Faith. She would never be privy to Kaz’s body—or his dick—ever again.

Chapter Twenty

A Bachelor Party Surprise

KAZ KNEW TIME flew but the time he got to spend with his family and his son, Xander, was miniscule in comparison to the scheme of the holiday season.

Christmas was spent as a great big happy family with Syd, Talia, Jaden—sans Faith who had to keep up appearances and spend the day with her mother and step-father—Damira, Xander, and Kris.

It wasn’t the least bit awkward and there was a string of chatter. Everyone got along, even Talia and Jaden but Kaz knew why that was and he didn’t know whether to feel disgusted or disappointed.

The same day Kaz had indulged in a quickie with his fiancée, Jaden had done the same with Talia. She just couldn’t break loose of him and the worst part was she knew he wasn’t good for her but she was in love with him and although Jaden wouldn’t admit it to her, he felt the same way.

It broke Kaz’s heart because he only wanted his brother to be happy but mastering the game he was intent on playing was only going to end badly and Kaz could only hope that meant hurt feelings and nothing more sinister.

The following days after Christmas were a mixture of wedding preparations and practice for the big New Year’s Eve show where they were the main act. The members all had a say in which two songs they would perform for the audience since it was a live show—with a ten second delay all the way up to five minutes before the countdown—and would air on Video Television. VTV, a hipper version of MTV2, was the famous station’s only real competition.

Scarlet Fever were due to go on at eleven-forty and since it was cutting New Year’s close, their significant others would be waiting for them in the VIP section of the club where all the celebrities and performers would be hanging out.

On the twenty-ninth, the eve of his marriage to Sydney, he was at his bachelor’s party, hosted by Jaden, Will and Grant along with the male members of Winter’s Regret, including Seth, when his phone rang.

Kaz pulled out his Galaxy Note and answered the call.

“Hello, son.”

Ice began to clot the blood flow in his veins.

The only thing scarier than getting a call from the man he’d been brought up to believe was his dad was a call from his
real
father.

Desmond “Dizzy” Cox.

The larger than life figure who was still movie-star handsome and cold as an Eskimo’s dick. He hid the menace and the sheer amount of violence he was capable of behind a gorgeous, megawatt grin and twinkling crystal blue eyes.

Dizzy always reminded Kaz how he would never measure up because he simply didn’t fit in. He was an outcast all the way around. He was no more comfortable at a club affair than he was at a country club.

“Hello, Dad.” He downed his Macallan 50 and waited for the tightness in his throat to loosen up.

“You know I would love to be there to see you marry the woman of your dreams but my presence would cause you too much unwanted attention…” he trailed off, his Northern Irish accent still strong after all these years of living in the States.

Kaz was actually delighted his father couldn’t come and didn’t anticipate his arrival any way though he’d sent him an invitation as a sign of respect.

“She’s a beautiful piece of ass and I’m sure she fucks like a prime filly too.”

“Yes, my future bride is quite adequate in the bedroom.”

Dizzy laughed on the other end of the line. “Well, I sent a gift and I hope you appreciate it…however, I also thought another gift should be…how shall I say, bestowed upon you since it is the season for giving.”

This caused Kaz’s heart to thump in his chest with an intensity even the scotch couldn’t slow down. “What the hell did you do?”

“You see…that has always been your problem. No respect towards me and I
am
your father whether you like it or not. How happy would Sydney Landvik’s grandfather and mother be if they knew your true name—your family name on your birth certificate—is Desmond Kasper Cox? You know me…I have my resources and whether the certificate is sealed now or not…I still have a certified copy because your mother mailed it to me shortly before her death.

“Does your bride know about those summer trips you would take here instead of to some prissy European vacation because that son of a bitch who raised you would pay me twenty thousand dollars to look after my own son? Does she know you spent your last year of high school here in Birch Creek? That you and Keren were high school sweethearts? I bet you she still doesn’t know much about you at all.”

“Syd knows enough,” Kaz barely managed to whisper.

“I bet you even told your lovely fiancée and few fibs. Did you tell her you had no choice but to join the club when in fact it was
all
you ever wanted? Does she know it was me who talked you into leaving with Jaden to L.A. to pursue your silly little rock career just so you weren’t arrested and didn’t spend half your life in prison for murdering that rapist son of a whore who attacked Loire?”

He tried with all his might to swallow past the large knot formed in his throat and found it was all for naught.

Kaz knew his father had him right where he wanted him because what he was about to tell him couldn’t be repeated to anyone, not even Jaden.

“Dad, I owe you so much and it’s the reason why we pay our dues to you because we both know if we’d stayed in the life, we would be dead or in prison for life by now. You know this isn’t a secure line so why are you playing true confessions when anyone can pick up this conversation, including the NSA?”

“Fuck those lily-livered scoundrels. Bunch o’ government bastards are as bad as the fookin’ English but it’s better
here
than
there
. They can’t touch me. We’re just having a friendly father-son chat here and I dare those sons of bitches to prove anything different.” Dizzy laughed then and it chilled him, the ice in Kaz’s veins had finally reached his heart and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I know you haven’t had a chance to keep up with the news tonight since you’re celebratin’ with your boys but that filthy cunt…Faith Maguire…she’s out of the picture for a while.”

“What?” Kaz stood and left The Gentlemen’s Lounge, a high-end strip club. As soon as he opened the front door, the cool December air hit him and flurries fell from a grayish-white sky.

Las Vegas didn’t see snow very often or even every winter but it certainly wasn’t unheard of for it to snow.

“Are you somewhere more private, dear boy?”

“Yes, I am.” He lit a Camel out of nervousness and dragged on it before exhaling. “What happened to Faith?”

“Well, I know a few crooked cops and patrolmen in need of some extra holiday dough here in Nevada. Did you know she was actually on her way to surprising Jaden—women nowadays, they have no shame. I couldn’t let that happen, not when he and the mother of my grandson are gettin’ on so grand. I simply had her stopped by one of my officer friends and guess what they found in Ms. Maguire’s luxury automobile? Legal prescriptions for OxyContin, Adderall and Xanax…and some very illegal cocaine.”

“You’re only telling me this because you know I won’t tell Jaden—”

“Kaelan can’t do anything,” his father said, using Jaden’s given name. “He’s just like his mother—constantly controlled by useless emotions, which mean nothing in the end. He can’t save her, no one can. Her family will intervene but she is going to serve time. It won’t be in a gladiator academy but there will be no slap on the wrist for Faith. The longer she stays away, the more likely my son is to see the error in his ways and make an honest woman out of Talia. The way he’s treated her is deplorable.”

“Does this bother you because you actually give a damn about Talia or is it because she’s your favorite son’s cousin and the niece of the only woman you ever
truly
loved?”

Dizzy did not respond.

“It’s okay, Dad, I don’t expect an explanation. I know what it’s like because I’m more like you than I care to admit. I went through women like they were water and I’ve had three serious relationships in the twenty-eight years I have been alive. Syd is the only one who comes close to touching this dead thing beating in my chest I call a heart. I know what it’s like to do anything to want to protect the person you love because what Faith is going through—it’s not my problem and I will make sure it doesn’t become Jaden’s problem either if you promise me you’ll never tell Sydney about any of what we spoke about during this conversation.”

“Nervous much?” his father finally inquired in that annoying Belfast lilt.

“No, not really. Syd will know the whole story but I want her to hear it from me because I am her husband, not because I am ashamed of my past. Believe me, the guilt eats me alive each and every day but that isn’t why she should know. I will tell her because she deserves the truth.”

Dizzy snickered on the other end of the line. “Kasper…guilt, shame, truth…what do any of those words truly mean? You need to let go and learn how to live in the here and now. Life is so precious. Stop worrying about what cannot be changed, son. Your past has made you the superstar you are today and without it, you’d be nothing. Embrace it for Christ’s sake and stop running. You will find yourself in a much better place with yourself…and because of that, you will solidify your relationship with Sydney.”

Kaz knew his father was telling the truth. He had to man up and stop running away from his past because right or wrong, it belonged to him and it had shaped him into the person he’d become.

It wouldn’t be easy but no one ever said life was supposed to be. Life was hard; various shades of gray where black and white didn’t even enter the picture. However, he knew it would be better for Sydney to hear the whole truth from him than a stranger and that they could both agree on.

He saw Jaden emerging from the strip club and decided to wrap up the conversation. “Thanks, Dad, for the well wishes and see you soon. Maybe Syd and I could come up with the kids to visit once we get settled into the new year?”

“I don’t see why not. I would like to meet this new daughter-in-law. You are a lot of things but you’ve always had better luck with women than your brothers do.”

“Talk to you later. Bye, Dad.”

“Goodbye…Desmond.”

The phone clicked and Kaz didn’t have to look at the blinking “Call Ended” message to know his father had hung up.