Rock My Heart (19 page)

His dick was so hard, it was a swollen, scarlet length of maleness pressed against his washboard abs and I grabbed it, him still slick with my juices and smelling like me. I tongue started on his ball sack, licking and sucking as he breathed hard and tried to stifle his moans which sounded more like muted groans of pleasure.

My point was not to tease him too much. I licked my tongue from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip and allowed my wet mouth to surround him before I took him down inside me inch by lovely inch. His hand gripped the back of my neck but it wasn’t to control me, merely he teased the sensitive area of my body because he knew it sent chills down my spine while I deep throated him slowly before coming up for some much needed air.

Kaz grabbed me by my arms and pulled me to him. His eyes held a sexually heated glazed look. “I don’t want your lips wrapped around me, I want to be buried inside you, sweetheart.”

He kissed me again and the kiss was bruising in its intensity as his arms wrapped themselves around my waist and he thrust his cock inside me. Although I was riding him and supposed to be in charge, he held me, my breasts pressed his against his firm chest as he continued to work his way in and out of my depths with a slow and steady pace.

We separated briefly as his hands moved up my back until they were palming my shoulders and then my neck. There was nothing overtly scary about his hands around my neck because his hands then moved up and cupped my face so gently, I melted there and then.

I needed to feel his lips against mine, our tongues entwined with one another so deeply that this had ceased to be about fucking and became more about making love. We wanted to please one another and would get off on that more than being pleased ourselves. He knew every sensitive spot on my body to tease, from the firm orbs of my ass to the sensitive opening of my anus with careful fingers, but the ultimate pleasure came from the stroke of my G-spot with his shaft and every time he caressed me there, my orgasm began a slow build that soon, I would tumble down from whether I wanted to ride the high or not.

It came after all his sweet caresses and the soft kisses we placed on one another’s mouth and his tongue licking the sweet spot on my neck. I couldn’t take it anymore as the heat built between us. My clit was on fire and all I had to do was sit up and ride him like a cowgirl at the rodeo and just a few strokes with a determined thumb brought me over the edge of paradise.

My vision blurred and I could see stars as I went into a complete and utter whole body spasm that had me clinching my vaginal muscles from the inside. Kaz gripped my waist again and then he came inside me with a groan and longed-for, pent up release. It was so utterly beautiful, I couldn’t believe what was happening between us and I rode my orgasm out for as long as it would allow me.

I didn’t collapse on him when the post sexual bliss of our mutually satisfied and aching bodies began to wear off. I merely withdrew him from inside me and had just enough strength to lay there beside him. He turned toward me as I turned away and we spooned. It was a great feeling to have his hard body against my soft curves and I never wanted to leave his arms when he wrapped them around my waist and cradled me.

I adjusted myself as best as I could for fear his arm might go to sleep being buried underneath the weight of my body.

“Stay where you are,” he whispered. “When my arm starts to tingle, I will just move it.”

“Are you sure?” I questioned tentatively.

“Positive. I love having you here right back in my bed after all this time but not for the reasons you think. It’s this moment of intimacy that we’re sharing…I feel blessed to have you in my life and I don’t believe in God, fate or the stars. There wasn’t anything or anyone who put you in my path that night but all the same, I truly feel like we are meant for one another and when all is said and done, that is all I care about.”

“I feel the same way.” I intertwined my fingers with his and kissed his hand which still smelled like me.

I couldn’t have been more content if I’d wanted to and it was then I truly knew there was no life outside of my loving, gorgeous Kaz and there never
would
be. I belonged to him for life.

Chapter Eighteen

Truth

KAZ HELD SYD for as long as he could because he knew what came next. He had to tell her and refused to ruin their holidays over bullshit he could have been honest about from the beginning.

He breathed softly before his arm began to tingle, he unlocked it from underneath her body and got out of bed. After he poured them tumblers of Macallan 50, he grabbed a liter bottle of Evian and brought it to the bed. She swallowed the Macallan as if it were a shot and took the liter bottle from him.

Kaz set his tumbler on the bedside table and she curled herself next to him while he threw a comfortable arm around her shoulders.

“I know I owe you the truth about what happened to me between the ages of eighteen and twenty and now, I am going to share them with you.”

Syd stared at him with bright blue-gray eyes as her hand softly stroked his strong, hairless chest. “You don’t have to tell me right now if you don’t want to. I know it has to be a painful subject for you…perhaps extremely disheartening if you haven’t shared it with me before now. Kaz, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t trust me but at the same time, it’s not in my best interest to push you into talking about something you’d rather not.”

“I know, babe, but it has to be said and you deserve to know the truth. I fled from my real father because I knew I wasn’t cut out for that kind of life. Jaden was on the fence about the whole thing—you know, he could take it or leave it—but Dad didn’t trust him because he thought he was weak and wouldn’t be able to do any jail time if we were caught in a situation that required it.

“Cillian, Misty, the twins—they grew up in that life, just like Jaden, but they were much more well-adjusted and learned to adapt. I couldn’t because it was different from how I grew up. Not that my childhood or teenage years were a bed of roses but when I entered the club, well, that was a whole other ball of wax.”

“I’m sure it was. How did it feel when you found out you had so many half-siblings you had no idea existed? I mean, between Loire and Trey…that must have been devastating for you.”

“Trey was the hardest because he’s a Demon’s Bastard but he is our half-brother. I don’t know…perhaps Dizzy was in love once but it was never with his wife and my mother might have been a little side-show entertainment but Loire’s mom…well, she was just a sweet butt and when Dizzy got her pregnant, he wanted her to have an abortion but she refused.

“Loire was still raised in the life but on the peripheral and you would have never known she was Dizzy’s daughter. She was a club fixture regardless but that was only because her mother had been kicked out of the club and she’d turned into a full blown junkie. Loire didn’t have a mother when she was too busy whoring herself out on the streets of Reno as a streetwalker.

“When I arrived on the scene, I didn’t know any of this. I just knew Dizzy was my father and I told him I wanted to join the club. Of course it wasn’t that easy and I became a prospect of sorts but I wasn’t a pure prospect. I mean, I mostly worked the bar area with Loire and I…Jaden and I bonded almost instantly and although he’d grown up in the club, he’d never had a real place other than another biker. He didn’t have any special skills and yes, he attended church with the rest of the major players but he would never have been Sergeant at Arms and he’d never have the chance to be V.P. It was mostly because he was rather ambivalent about the club as a whole…I soon came to share his sentiment.”

“What was the catalyst that made you…want to leave?” I asked before I kissed his chest.

Kaz breathed deeply and cleared his throat. “I’d been voted in and it was the night of my celebration. Loire was there and I remember it being a crazy night because I was drunk off my ass and it took me three days to get sober. Anyway, that night, it was insane because we had to retaliate for a hit that the White Knights had made against us.

“I was pretty wasted when we left but what I saw…babe, you can’t unsee. I witnessed a man tortured with pliers and blow torches and scalpels. I know he was an awful human being and he deserved what happened to him but that night, I knew I wouldn’t be able to live that kind of life indefinitely.

“Jaden and I shared a love for music and within a few weeks after the incident, we’d already decided to move to L.A. because we wanted to form a band and Keren had agreed to come with me. Jaden had a woman at the time but she didn’t want to leave Nevada so she stayed behind. We explained the situation to Dizzy and he wasn’t pleased but he wasn’t exactly all that upset either.

“Loire begged to come along and I helped her open up a small tattoo shop. I don’t exactly remember how she met Nil but once they formed their own partnership, I put up the capital for them to open the Black Rose and the rest, as they say, is history.”

Syd embraced him before she stroked his hair. “You don’t have to tell me about what happened that night because Cillian already filled me in. I suppose all that time he spent in Northern Ireland and what he and Gisela had to endure has hardened him permanently and not much bothers him. I won’t lie. It was a shock to find out what happened but I suppose it comes with the territory.”

She paused before she continued, “I know your life has been difficult for you, Kaz. I won’t pretend to know everything that went on while you were with the club but just know that your father can’t touch you and if I have to, I will pay for you to make a clean break with the club. I don’t ever want you to fear that is where you will end up because it will never happen, not while I’m around.”

“I know, sweetie. Some issues in life have to be solved on their own and this is one of those times. Believe me, I will handle Dizzy. I honestly hope he decides not to come to our wedding but I can’t promise you.”

She smiled devilishly. “With our luck, he’ll be there and we’ll just have to deal like we do with everything else that has been thrown our way during our relationship.”

Kaz looked into her eyes and kissed her lips before they both laughed out loud.

KAZ AWOKE THE next morning, got up and reluctantly left Syd sleep before he showered and dressed quietly. The band had practice at the Vogue Arena that day for a concert they were performing that upcoming Friday night. He checked on his son and kissed him on the forehead before he left the house in his brand new Escalade.

He could only hope he’d told Syd enough to calm her curiosity because he hadn’t really told her shit and from speaking to Cillian, his brother had been equally closed-mouth.

It was very difficult to admit to himself he’d killed a man that night let alone tell his fiancée about it. Not that Brooklyn’s brother, Joe, hadn’t deserved what happened to him. The White Knights had gotten a hold of Loire while she was in a vulnerable position and she’d been gang raped by more than ten members in both the vaginal and anal area. His sister had to be hospitalized in Carson City.

She could still have children but she vowed she didn’t want any as she laid on her stomach at Carson Tahoe Medical Center. Her whole nether region needed stitches along with a healthy dose of antibiotics and the morning after pill. He’d spent the morning of his patch-in party holding her hand while vowing for revenge at the same time.

Loire managed to tell him it was Joe who had started it and kept it going even after she was in and out of consciousness. They left her face untouched except a few superficial bruises but it was what they did to her rectum and how they’d used a cane on her back and beat her repeatedly with it. She was in so much pain, the open cuts overlapped and once she was healthy enough and her back ceased to bother her, she’d gotten a tattoo to cover up the worst of the damage.

The White Knights wanted to hurt the club and they used the weakest Cox clan family member to do it. Despite how Dizzy felt about Loire, she was still his daughter and he demanded justice. Kaz had personally used the scalpel on Joe’s chest and cut right through his ribs before he reached in and grabbed the bastard’s heart. He remembered the feeling of the muscled organ underneath the heel of his boot as he ground it down until it was nothing but a bloody pulp.

Cillian had then cut off Joe’s head and delivered it to their father himself. The head was burnt in a bonfire that night while everyone continued to get drunker than they already were.

It was also the first time he met Brianna, Cillian’s ex, and it wouldn’t be his last. They had incredible sexual chemistry but she was also his brother’s wife at the time and he was a stupid, horny nineteen-year-old. Over the next few years, he’d shared her bed on more occasions than he could count on both hands. He’d also slept with her while she’d been pregnant with Caitlin and that was disconcerting to say the least after he found out about her “delicate condition”.

Miraculously, even though Kaz had spent the whole drive in a fog of nostalgia, he managed to arrive at the Vogue Hotel and Casino in one piece. To be honest, he couldn’t wait to perform live again but he wasn’t looking forward to seeing Jaden. After the night before, he was disgusted with his brother and had nothing to say to him.

Will and Grant were already set up and practiced jams together while Jaden sat on the edge of the stage. He smoked a cigarette while Faith hung all over him like a cheap suit.

He had to give the bitch credit. Though she was a full blown drug addict, no one would have ever known it. Although she ate OxyContin like it was going out of style and snorted a line of coke here or there, she was always dressed immaculately and her makeup was perfectly applied.

“Band members only. No girlfriends allowed,” Kaz announced a little too cheerfully. “Why don’t you go hang out at The Forum and shop till you drop? I’ve heard there is also good shopping at the Wynn as well. Anywhere but here, babe.”

Faith pursed her lips and glared at him with cold gray-green eyes before she kissed Jaden’s lips. “See you later, baby.” As she walked past him, she slapped her ass and hissed at Kaz, “You will never get another whiff of this, you fucking Judas.”

“I suppose you are talking about Sydney,” he said as he grabbed her arm and whipped her around to face him. “Bitch, you were nothing but a distraction and as soon as I can manage to get my brother’s head out of his own ass, he will see you’re nothing but poison too.”