Rocked with Passion (A New Adult Rockstar Novel) (4 page)

“
Ummm... I’m not really dressed well, is there somewhere I can maybe freshen up a bit first before we go?” I asked. In reality, I also wanted a few seconds to myself. The maid guided me into a guest bathroom, the size of my bedroom back home, with a full Jacuzzi tub and marble shower.

I changed into a nice dress I’d brought from home, the sort of t
hing I wore to client dinners. A deep red, the dress hugged my curves, then swayed down along my legs to the gold stilettos I wore with it. As I looked at myself in the mirror, my confidence began to return. I was
hot.
I breathed deeply as I reapplied my makeup, and soon began to calm down. Everything was going to be fine. I was going to go have dinner with Jonathan, a completely platonic dinner where we would talk about platonic subjects, like the new job I was doing for him, and that was it. We were client and customer, going out on a business dinner. Everything was going to be fine. I took a deep breath, glanced at my reflection one last time in the mirror before grabbing the door handle and stepping out from the bathroom.

I stepped out into the hall to meet Jonathan, and couldn’t help but notice his eyes wander up and down my body as I came out to meet him.

“You look amazing” he told me as he led me gently towards the door.
John was ready and waiting, and we immediately got into the car. As we slid out of the opening gate, I suddenly realized why the windows were as tinted as they were. The photographers waiting outside had their flashes at the ready, their shutters snapping away over and over as they tried to capture a photo of Jonathan Knight.

We sped off, and I quickly realized there were a couple cars following us.

“Is that normal?” I asked Jonathan, all of my worries suddenly gone as I thought about how we were being chased.

“Yeah, you’ll get used to it, don’t worry. John knows all the tricks to get rid of them.”

Sure enough, a few minutes later, after going through side street after side street so suddenly I was starting to feel sick, we found ourselves on the highway, our tails nowhere to be seen.

“Do they follow you all the time?”
I asked, still amazed that this was a thing that happened in real life. For some reason, I had always imagined paparazzi chases were a thing Hollywood movies invented. To have been involved in one in real life was just insane!

Jonathan nodded.
“Whenever they can. It’s been worse since the scandal broke, obviously, but even in the slow times there’s usually at least one or two of them waiting for a shot outside my place.”

Before I could reply, we were at the restaurant.
La Grosse Baguette was a contemporary French restaurant with exquisite decor. I had no idea what part of Los Angeles we were in, but going by the restaurant as well as the dress and mannerisms of the other diners I figured we were
definitely
in one of the good neighborhoods.

I suddenly began to feel foolish and out of place. My dress which had seemed so nice and classy a while ago now felt clumsy and cheap.
The women were so beautiful and elegant, I felt like an elephant once again. Surely I didn’t belong here, why would Jonathan bring me here? This wasn’t the sort of place a girl like me ate at. When Kevin and I went out for dinner, we’d go to a regular diner, where they served things like hamburgers and pulled pork sandwiches. I had a sneaking suspicion neither were on the menu.

The waiter led us to a table, and I was about ninety nine percent sure I saw one of the
city’s most famous basketball players sitting with his wife at a table we passed.

“Was that really...” I whispered to Jonathan as we sat down and he
nodded, a bemused smile on his face. My eyes widened. I was sitting in a restaurant with someone that I’d watched play basketball on TV hundreds of times over the years. I couldn’t believe it!

When I opened the menu my eyes widened even further.
“I hope you don’t intend for us to split the bill” I told Jonathan as I searched for an entrée costing under $50. He laughed gently. “Sara, you’ve picked up your life and come to help me on a week’s notice. The least I can do is treat you to dinner. Order whatever you want. It’s on me.”

I scanned through the menu.
I was too embarrassed to admit to Jonathan that I had no idea what anything was, save for the Coq au Vin. Our waiter came by and told us about the specials, of which I understood what none of them were either, and take our drink orders. I let Jonathan order a bottle of wine to which the waiter told him “Excellent choix, monsieur.”

A few minutes
he returned to take our orders. I was so nervous, convinced I was pronouncing it wrong that I could feel my face turning crimson, but the waiter pretended not to notice. The sommelier came by then with the wine, offering a taste to Jonathan and myself. We both nodded and glasses were poured. The wine was fruity, without any of that strong bitter aftertaste that accompanied the wines normally in my price range.

“This is really nice wine” I told Jonathan, trying to keep the conversation light.
It didn’t work.

“So tell me, Sara, about your life. What have you been up to in the ten years since I’ve seen you last?”

I thought for a moment. I told Jonathan about college, about my business, about Kevin. I told him how supportive Kevin was, how he was waiting for me back in Ohio, and how we were planning on being together forever. After all, I might as well lay down the boundaries now. Not only for Jonathan, but for myself as well.

“I’m glad you’ve found somebody Sara, I really am” Jonathan told me, and he looked genuine.
But was there a hint of sadness in his eyes? No, I must have been imagining it. There was no way.

“What about you? How did you become a star?”

Jonathan recited to me the story he must have told a million times by now. How they were discovered, how they were suddenly huge, and how amazing it was. The version I was told, however, also included some downsides. Jonathan told me how hard it was to get used to constantly having people around. How once they had a little bit of money everyone they’d ever met in Hollywood came begging for a slice. How they had to learn to trust their friends, and keep them close, and how painful the betrayal could be. I knew he was talking about the PR firm.

Our waiter arrived with our meals,
and we ate in silence for a while. Then, Jonathan said something that made me wish we’d continued in silence:

“You know, Sara, I did love you back then.”

I almost choked on the piece of chicken I was eating.

“What?”

Not the most elegant reply, but it was the one I came up with.

“Ten years ago, when I took you out to the lake.
I loved you. I really did. I couldn’t be with you, but I wanted to admit to you what I really felt back then.”

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I had no idea why, my brain had no idea what emotions to use to process that sentence.
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was simply the strangeness of this situation, but I just didn’t know what to think. Anger? Sadness? Regret? Pain? All the emotions came out at once.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”
I hissed. This wasn’t the sort of place where one cursed, but I couldn’t care less right now. “You broke my heart. I was devastated when you rejected me. And now you’re telling me you actually loved me? You’re telling me this now, when I have a steady boyfriend, waiting for me in Ohio, after I came over here to see you because I thought this was a professional relationship?”

The more I said, the angrier I got. Yes, anger was definitely the emotion taking over. But when I looked into Jonathan’s eyes, I realized
I had never seen him look as hurt as he did in that moment. Despite everything, my rage settled somewhat. Still, rumblings of anger continued inside of me. I hadn’t completely forgiven Jonathan for that comment.

“I’m sorry Sara” he finally replied. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know what I thought about you back then.
I thought if I cleared the air tonight we could work professionally together, as you said. I didn’t mean to imply... anything untoward.”

My anger receded, recognizing the genuine remorse in Jonathan’s voice.

“It’s alright. I’m sorry, it’s just a touchy subject for me.”

“Alright.
I won’t mention it again. I’m really glad you’re willing to come and work for me. Work for us.”

“Me too” I replied.
I realized suddenly that I was more comfortable now, after his admission, than I was before. Jonathan wanted us to work together professionally. He didn’t want to come in between me and Kevin, as I had feared he might. Had I really feared that? Or had I feared that I would want to come between me and Kevin?

Regardless, I took Jonathan’s admission tonight to mean that he had loved me then, but no longer loved me now. After all, how could he? It had been ten years.
Not only was I basically just a plane Jane from Ohio, but he was a rock star. He could have any woman on the planet. There were models who would pretty much throw themselves at his feet to try and get him to date them. There wasn’t a chance in hell Jonathan would be interested in someone like me. Not when he had his pick of the world’s women. This was going to be entirely a professional relationship, after which I would go back to Kevin and live happily ever after in Ohio.

We changed the topic to that of public relations.
I shared my worries about my lack of contacts in Los Angeles. Jonathan smiled gently at me.

“Don’t worry about that at all Sara. You’re going to meet everyone you need to meet. All you need to do is mention who you’re working for, and doors will open. It will take a little bit of getting used to, but if anything you were always a quick learner.
You’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

After a couple of vanilla bean crème
brulées that tasted like heaven, Jonathan paid the bill and we were led out a side exit into John’s waiting car.

“Thank you for dinner” I told Jonathan as we sped off, the paparazzi waiting outside oblivious to our exit. They must have been waiting for someone even more famous than Jonathan.
“I’m glad we did it,” I continued.

“Me too.
I’m glad you’re here, Sara. It’s nice to have someone else from home around.”

I realized then that the car had stopped. We were at the hotel.

“I had your stuff brought over, if you go to the front desk they’ll give you your room key, your stuff should already be in the room” Jonathan told me. I thanked him again and got out of the car, the cool Los Angeles night air crisp against my skin. I shivered slightly and went inside.

I went up to the front desk, got my room key and went into the largest suite I’d ever seen. This had to be like, a thousand dollars a night, at least. There were two bedrooms with King sized beds (
Why would Jonathan possibly think I’d need a second bedroom?
) , a full living room with the largest flat screen TV I’d ever seen in my life, a luxury kitchen and more. Every part of the suite I went into was more luxurious than the last.

I decided I needed a hot bath to think.
This entire day had been completely insane. This morning Kevin was saying goodbye to me at the airport, tonight Jonathan was telling me he had actually loved me ten years ago. He’d told me I was too young, but he loved me anyway.

I ran a hot bath and sank into the tub, allowing the steam to fog up the mirror
and fill the room. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the tub, trying not to focus on anything. Everything was so overwhelming. I knew it would be hard to see Jonathan again, but I didn’t think it would be this hard. I didn’t know how I was going to react, but I didn’t think it was going to be how I did.

For the first time that day, I admitted to myself what I felt. I felt that spark. I felt that same feeling I used to feel ten years ago
. No matter how much I pushed the thought to the back of my head, it was still there. I knew it had to go away. Jonathan had made it clear to me tonight that I was here on business. As he put it, he didn’t want to imply anything untoward. I had to get myself under control, get my own emotions under control, before I lost what was quite probably going to be the best opportunity my business was ever going to get.

I stewed in the tub until the water was too cold to bear, then got out and dried myself, wrapping myself in a bathrobe and sinking into the luxury master bed.
I stared up at the ceiling as I tried to get to sleep. I would have to call Kevin in the morning, it was too late to do so now. Kevin. I loved Kevin, and we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

I thought about what I was going to tell him about
my first day on the west coast as I finally managed to drift off to sleep.

The next couple of weeks were basically a complete blur. When I woke up the next day, John was ready to take me back to the mansion, where I asked Jonathan why he would possibly spend so much on a hotel room for me.

“Well, you’re pretty much living there for now, so it might as well be a good sized place. Speaking of, we have to sort out a contract with how much to pay you. I’ll get my lawyers to draft something up, you name your price.”