Running Home (14 page)

“What if I fail
, Erica? I’ve never been more terrified about something in my entire life than what I’m going to do once I walk out those doors.” I whimpered quietly, clutching the small flattened pillow to my chest.

“Trust yourself
, Carmen. You are a completely different person now; the old life is behind you. You have a chance in the real world, which is something that I would love to be given again. Make the most of it, learn from your mistakes, and grow. You can’t be scared of the future. Shit, there will always be challenges you’re going to have to face. Let Walker help you; if he drives all night to meet you tomorrow he obviously cares something fierce for you. Don’t lose that, okay?”

I nodded my head as the tears trickled down my cheeks; people were rooting for my success story. I wasn’t an inmate that they wanted to see back here, or hell even expected to be back. I needed to make the most of this situation and jump with both feet forward.
This was the last chance at turning my life around, and I couldn’t fuck it up again.

Like standing on that small bridge years ago
, I always took that leap of faith into the water below; this was my time to do it again. One, two, three…………………………..jump.

“Carmen Westin,” Officer Bacca called from behind the bars on the outside of our pod.

“Yes,” I tentatively replied.

“Step up to t
he bars for release.”

I let a smile creep across my face and turned to wave to the few friends I made while spending my time in this place. I blew a kiss to my roomm
ate on the second floor; she had changed my life for the better by just knowing her.

I placed my hands in front of me to be shackled for transport; this was the last time I would ever have to have these cuffs placed on my wrists unwillingly. Waiting for the buzzing sound of the door being unlocked at the control panel
, I lifted my cuffed arms to wipe a single tear that was falling down my cheek. This wasn’t a tear of sadness; I was finally going to be able to get out of here. After months of living the unknown, I could start planning my future and the best part…….. I could do it in ‘real’ clothes!

I waited on the concrete bench outside of the bookings area, and I couldn’t keep a damn grin off my face the entire time I sat there. I watched as the people went by doing their job, free to come and go from this place. That was going to be
me very shortly; except I never planned on coming back here.

“Carmen
Jean Westin?” A shorter lady said from around a concrete wall.

“Yes,” I answered, still smiling like an idiot.

“Come with me please,” she beckoned, while wandering down the long hallway. She stopped in front of an open door with several partitioned changing areas, complete with the dull grey curtains.

“Here are your clothes you had on you on intake. You may change behind those curtains and once you are finished we can sign the release papers
and go over the parole information, then you will be a free woman.”

“Thank you,” I graciously said
and turned to the accompanying officer to undo my cuffs and take the bag that the lady had been holding out to me.  I hurried into the first changing area, and quickly tossed the jail clothes off my body. Opening the bag, I pulled out a worn pair of jeans and a dirty white tank top. They smelled old and musty, like they were sealed in this bag since my arrest, but hell, I didn’t care; they were normal clothes.

Sliding the denim over my legs felt like I was once again pulling on a silk Versace gown. I probably would never be able to afford one of those dresses again, I swear
, in this moment my worn Levi’s were the next best thing. I pushed the button through the jean hole and slowly drew the zipper up; I couldn’t believe I was wearing these when I was picked up. They were still too big for my frame, and to think I’d put on weight since then was crazy.
I must have looked like a crack whore
I thought to myself as I slid the dingy white tank top over my head. I quickly finger combed my long dark locks and slipped on my plastic flip flops this was like being in heaven.

I stepped out from behind the curtain
and smiled at the lady waiting; the officer was now gone and I didn’t have to put those cuffs back on again.

“This way to the front counter
,” she said, as I followed her in the direction, carefully making sure my pants didn’t slip down any further. She walked around the counter and pulled out a plain folder, marked with my full name.

“Carmen, here is your release form. Please sign your full legal name where I have highlighted and read the boxes to your right
; then initial accordingly.”

I nodded my head and quickly went to the boxes in the corner of the page. The same legal mumbo jumbo was stated
, as I quickly initialed and went to work at signing my name. I placed the pen down and smiled. That was I; I was free.

“Here is your parole information; do you need me to go over it with you?” She asked.

“No, ma’am,” I answered, when I noticed who my PO was. I bet he will be surprised to see me again; if he even remembers who I am.

“Thank you Carmen. Y
ou are free to exit through the metal doors to the left. I hope to never see you again,” the lady offered with a smile.

I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from sprinting to the doors; freedom was just a push away. Slamming my hands into the metal frame
, I walked out into the sunshine. The weather was chilly on my skin, but nothing I would ever complain about again. Throwing my hands in the air, I dropped my head back and closed my eyes to bask in the light. This was an amazing feeling.

“Well
, if it isn’t the infamous Carmen Westin,” a deep voice called from a distance. My body tingled when the words reached my ears, my mouth went dry, and I’m pretty sure my panties got wet from the sheer sexiness of hearing my name from his lips.

“Walker,” I shouted as my eyes popped open and I looked in his direction.

“How To Save A Life” The Frey

Walker

The phone called ended abruptly, and I was left to stand there in the middle of my kitchen, lost and confused. Did I just talk to Carmen?  It had been years since I’d heard that voice, and when she whispered my name I just about lost my damn mind. There had been so many times I had wanted to pick up the phone and call her, only to remember I had no clue if she even had a phone let alone its number. I have checked on her grandparents over these years, and now help her grandmother out at the house, since her grandfather passed a little over two years ago. I had begged and pleaded with the universe to bring her home, give me a sign fuck; really anything to let me know my best friend was okay. And today I hear she was in prison? I didn’t know what to think, and since she asked me to pick her up tomorrow I really didn’t have time to process the situation thoroughly. I needed to get into the Bronco and drive, trying to figure all this out could come later.

I swung by the café to let M
om know I was headed out of town for a couple of days and to watch Waylon. She was instantly curious when I didn’t take the dog with me, but hell, I didn’t need another body to be responsible for right now. As I filled up the tank with gas, I called work and let them know I was out of town for the remainder of the week, and that Waylon was with my mom. It was a nice change not having to play twenty questions with Gloria about where I was headed; I had no clue what I was getting into as I headed out for the interstate. I turned on a little driving music, and with my coffee in my hand, took the first onramp to head out west. The long drive was going to be good for my head; considering I had no clue what I was going to do when I got there.

I started to panic about the half way marker, and it took everything in me not to turn the truck around and hea
d back to South Dakota. I didn’t know what Carmen had gotten herself into it, but after knowing her all those years I could only image what she did to end up in a place like that. I was just starting to pick up the pieces from the shambles Sadie had left me in, when I got the phone call. How could I possibly save her and repair the mess my life was?

I know I promised her so many years ago that I would always be there f
or her, come hell or high water, but that was before she left me on the side of the road after graduation. I continued to drive on the highway, and little things started to catch my eyes. First, it was the Jack Daniels truck I passed; Carmen’s favorite drink. Second, was the old beater pickup that hauled ass passing me; complete with a Confederate flag flying off their antenna, and a Johnny Cash sticker on the back window. I tried to convince myself that I was just looking for things that reminded me of her; this way I couldn’t talk my way into turning around. And, the final kick in the ass was the exit sign for Carmel County. Yep, if that wasn’t a big ass sign that I was doing the right thing, then I didn’t want to know what would happen if I was to turn around and go back. I was so close to getting my best friend back why in the hell am I absolutely terrified of the moment?

I pulled into the
visitors’ parking lot of the California Institute for Women, and shut the Bronco down. I was nervous beyond belief, as I opened the door and got out to stretch. The air was stagnant and hot; not the normal mixture I got back home. I raised my arms above my head and let out a slow yawn; it had taken me a little over a day to get here, but I made it. Glancing around, I looked for Carmen. Realizing she must not be out yet, I jumped up on the hood of the Bronco and started to think.

“Carmen, promise me you won’t ru
n away just yet. I need you here; please don’t go,” I begged her to stay, before the ceremony started.

“Walker
, you know it isn’t in the cards for me to stay. I have things to do, people to meet; the world is calling my name!”

“Give m
e a few more days with you here…….. if you really have to leave then give me that.”

“Fine,
Walker, because you are the only person in the whole world I would do just about anything for, I guess I can give you that,” she replied with a sigh.

I heard a door slam
, and it instantly brought me back to the pressing situation I was dealing with. Opening my eyes, I watched as a small thin woman emerged from the confinements of the prison. Her hair was longer, and skin was much paler then I remembered, but without a doubt, it was my Carmen. I slid off the hood of the Bronco and watched her bask in the sunlight. Even with the issues she obviously faced, she was beautiful. My feet started walking toward her, before I could even realize what my body was doing like a magnet, I was drawn to her all over again.

“Well
, if it isn’t the infamous Carmen Westin,” I shouted as I got closer to her.

She instantly froze and her eyes opened to focus on mine. The dark brown irises shined in the light, the ends of h
er lips turned up in a smile as her body broke out into a dead run. In sheer seconds, she was wrapped around my body as I clung on to her tightly, squeezing her thin frame, as if to hold on to her forever.

I felt her body shake with the sobs my ears started to hear,
and my heart broke instantly into a thousand pieces as she clung to my body. I can’t image what she has gone through, but all of a sudden my own problems felt like the size on an ant. I was not letting her run again; whatever she had to deal with in life, I was going to face it with her. I wasn’t going to lose my best friend ever again.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered into her hair, as her cries started to taper off.

Carmen nodded her head into my chest, squeezing my body tighter in her grasp.
I brought my hand up to stroke her long dark hair; it was still silky soft to the touch, a texture my hands had missed for so long. Carmen loosened her hold on my body, and unlatched her fingers from interlocking around my waist. She brought a hand up to wipe away the remaining tears that were dancing on her cheeks, but she still kept her head ducked from my eyes.

“Carmen
, look at me,” I asked, as I grabbed her chin and pulled it to my face. Her eyes were casted downward to the ground; her pain was written all over her pretty little face. “Carmen, please, look at me.”

She
slowly shifted her eyes upward until they met mine, her secrets woven into the chocolate brown color that shined back at me. I wanted to tell her it was all going to be okay, but the few years in the sheriff’s department had told me otherwise. This was only the start of her journey; one that could take years to overcome. I placed a soft kiss to her forehead as I watched the tears tremble down her cheeks again. Pulling her closer into my body, I held her tightly as she silently began to cry again.

“Walker
, I’m so sorry.” A soft mumble was heard as she melted into my shirt again. All I could do was hold her tighter, and this time, I wasn’t letting go.

I finally broke the hold we had on each
other and pulled back from her body, carefully looking her over to digest every detail I had missed over these years apart. She was definitely skinnier than when she left home; her clothes no longer fit her once curvier appearance. Her boobs were a new addition, and on her thin frame they screamed silicon no hiding the obvious there. But she was still Carmen; the girl who got me into more trouble than good, but also loved me unconditionally as well.

“So
, I think we have a lot of catching up to do,” I managed to say with a small smile. I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the Bronco.

“You still have that piece of tin?” She laughed as we got closer. Her voice was music to my
ears; I missed that laugh being in my life.

“Shhhhh………don’t hurt her feelings. She has been a loyal and faithful friend over these years. You should take lessons.”
I glanced at her as her lips turned into a slight frown shit, I didn’t mean for her to take it that way. “Carmen, don’t get so serious. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m sorry
, Walker; I just need time to adjust again.”

“Well
, time is something we have plenty of. Get in,” I say to her as I opened the truck door.

Carmen hopped into the old girl
, and reached over to close the door. I noticed her collarbone stuck out the top of her tank top; I needed to get some food in this girl, fast.

“Thanks for getting me
, Walker, it means more to me than you will ever know,” she said meekly, as she starred out the window and watched the scenery pass us by.

“A promise is a promise, no matter how long ago it was offered. So
, what are you hungry for? It looks like you haven’t eaten in years.”

“I kind of
haven’t,” she joked and pulled her long hair over her shoulder to mess with the ends.

“Well
, take your pick my dear, we are in the land of a thousand McDonalds. By the way, we never did get one of those.”

Carmen shot me a huge smile that lit up her entire
face; there was the beautiful girl I had missed so much.

“Just pick anything you w
ant, Walker; I’m not that hungry,” she replied.

I shook my head and started to watch for the next fast food place I came upon. I didn’t care if she was hungry or not, she was going to eat something.

We sat on the tailgate of the Bronco, slowly eating the massive amount of food I ordered from In and Out. She wouldn’t tell me what she was hungry for, so I kind of ordered a little bit of everything on the menu. We ate and made small talk, but I was itching to figure out the story behind the prison sentence.

“So I’m just going to throw it on out there. How in the hell did you e
nd up in the women’s institute?”

Carmen stopped mid bite of her cheeseburger. She knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid my questioning for long. She started to chew slowly
, as she sat the remainder of the burger down and reached for her coke. Taking a careful sip, she let her shoulders drop and sighed.

“I
, uh, well………I was kind of arrested for prostitution.” Her head dropped to the ground and she nervously started to fidget with her hands. I could tell she was uncomfortable. Shit, I wasn’t expecting that admission from her.

“What in the world
, Carmen? What were you thinking?” I gasped in shock. I didn’t know if I was angrier at her for selling herself, or more relieved that she didn’t kill someone. Either way, that wasn’t what I expected to hear out of her mouth.

“Walker
, I know; I’m not proud of it. Can we talk about it another time, please? I promise to explain myself in time. I just need a few days to collect myself.” Her voice cracked as it spoke. I knew this hurt her to confess what she had done, and hell; it broke my heart in an entirely new way when she said those words.

“Ok
ay. But we will talk about this; we have a long drive back home and I don’t want that huge elephant in the car with us the entire way back.”

“Yeah
, slight problem on going home,” her voice trailed off as she glanced at the road.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I was released with nine months of parole left,” Carmen replied, still not making eye contact with me. My face turned red with anger; there was so much she wasn’t sharing with me and I needed to know at least the basics. I couldn’t help her if she didn’t let me, and I wasn’t leaving without her.

I took a dee
p breath and released it slowly. “Okay, well let’s go meet your PO and see what we can do.” Carmen nodded her head and jumped off the tailgate. She started to gather the trash and throw it in the garbage; I glanced over just as her tank top rode up in the back.

“What in the hell did you brand yourself with?” I yelled
, after catching a glimpse at the two little letters on the small of her back. Carmen quickly pulled the tank top back down and looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

“Another road story?” she tried to joke. I simply shook my head as I climbed into the driver’s seat. There was too much mystery with Carmen Westin now, and I was scared to find out all the details I was missing.

“It’s up there on the left; that older looking building,” Carmen directed me as we arrived at her PO’s office.

I parked
the Bronco across the street, and watched as Carmen climbed out of the beast. I straightened my wrinkled shirt and tried to tame the wildness of my crazy black hair; what I needed was a shower. I looked like a mess, and it wasn’t very professional looking wandering into another law enforcement agency all nasty looking. I had to work the charm if I wasn’t going to look the part with this guy; I needed to make it work for Carmen.  I watched Carmen dart out across the street when I yelled at her.

“Can you wait one sec? I need to lock it,”
I called as I fiddled with the door.

“You don’t have to come with me;
I got it.”

“Right, just like you made it work the last couple years?”